Comm 308

The voice response

Active+Constructive: Communicating about differences, tensions and disagreements, voice and identify problems with intention of dealing with them

The exit response

Active+Destructive: Leave without confronting the problem, physically or psychologically

Win/Win

Both parities leave feeling satisfied, more insight is gained, both parties approach the conflict with an open mind

The Neglect response

Destructive+Passive, Denies or minimizes problems

What determines the conflict

Expressed tension, interdependence, perceived incompatible goals, both feel a need for resolution

Dimensions of romantic relationships, in order

Intimacy, commitment, passion

Win/Lose or Lose/Win

It is not always possible for everyone to win, One party may go in with an aggressive mindset in order to win, One party may go in less motivated if they expect to lose

Six responses to opposing points of view

Judge, Instruct, Probe, Understand, Identify, Support

Flow of relational evangelism

Meet, Invest, Invite, Include, Share

The loyalty response

Passive+Constructive, letting the other person win, not sharing your side, adaptive

Dyadic processes

breakdown of established patterns, rules, and rituals that make up the relational culture Ex: No longer talking at dinner, neglect texting normalities

Personal changes

graduation, having kids, getting married

intrapsychic processes

in which one or both partners begin to feel dissatisfied with the relationship and to focus their thoughts on its problems or shortcomings

Grave dressing process

involve burying the relationship and accepting its end, work to make sense of the relationship: what it meant, why it failed, and how it affected us. Mourning the intimacy that has died.

Social support

phase in which partners look to friends and family for support. Partners may give self-serving accounts of problems to secure sympathy

Resurrection processes

the two people move on with their lives without the other as an intimate. The partners view themselves as single and will pursue other relationships

Competing demands

work, obligations

Diverse communication styles

Friendships may be strained by misunderstanding from diverse cultural backgrounds

Lose/Lose

No one ends up happy, both parties may be defensive or avoiding mindset if expecting lose/lose, might win the fight, but lose the relationship

Relational dialectics

Opposing human needs that create tension and propel change in relationships

Elements of family communication

Words, thoughts, emotions

Sexual attraction

especially if it is one sided