Dating/Relationships - trends back in time
courtship
a publicly visible process with rules and restrictions through which young men and women find a partner to marry calling - women held power in an old-fashioned courtship
The Rules
a self-help book from the 90's claims to be a compilation of tried-and-true dating advice ex: men like a challenge, so pretend to be busy; no sex until the third date, etc. goal of book was "how to get a man to marry you"
trends with age, education level, and dating
- those with less education marry earlier - those with more education marry later -later marriage has benefits - decreased chance of divorce! early marriages lead to divorce - less education may lead to lower paying jobs - less money = more stress! behaviors that allow you to succeed in college can help in long-term relationships
assortative mating
theory that people seek out marriage partners with similar backgrounds - like marries like! people with college degrees are more likely to marry - marriage is stratified by education and income! less educated are more likely to get divorced
marriage
used to be lifelong goal! now it is just a step in one's life - people are putting off marriages until after they have their finances in order, are solid in careers, etc. decline of shotgun marriages - contraception and abortion makes it more of a choice to have a child
Rise of Dating
courtship moved to the public world balance of power changed - public courtship required money .. and men had the money (car to pick the woman up) Rise of "diner cards" - going to diners or supper clubs for dating
Going steady
during WWII and immediately after - transitioned to "going steady" find a guy or girl and commit to them. early marriage became the norm in the late 1940s to 1950s self-help culture around dating came about then! ads - gave tips on how to pick up dates, find a wife, etc.
women
earn the majority of college/master's degrees in the US men NOT intimidated by a successful woman - they have grown up seeing woman as their peers in work and school -men are more likely to have strong female role models in their mothers myth of the barren female executive - not true!
online dating
free versions and versions you pay for - money can play a role in access to online dating/options
modern (college) dating
no right or wrong way - looks different for everyone -nearly 1/2 of college relationships start with hooking up - facebook, social media, dating apps - play a role
rule-altering courtship
rule-altering behavior - lifestyle choices people make can affect roles and customs within dating and the family
rule-directed courtship
social norms, laws, and customs strongly influenced personal life and the actions of the individual did not change those rules
changing mate preferences
study done on heterosexual couples ranking 18 characteristics by most to least important mutual attraction/love has now been #1 since the 1980's used to care about "good cook/housekeeper"
