HDFS 16-18

4 types of relationships between divorcees

1) perfect pals: friendships who called each other often and brought their common kids and new families together on holidays for outings or other activities. 2)cooperative colleagues: worked well together as co-parents but did not attempt to share holidays or be in constant touch-occasionally they might share childrens important events 3)angry associates 4)fiery foes

13 differences between first marriages with children and step families

1) there are different structural characteristics 2) there is a complicated supra family system 3)children have more than 2 parenting figures 4)there may be less family control because there is an influential parent elsewhere or in memory 5)there may be preexisting parent-child coalitions 6)there may have been many losses for all individuals 7)there are ambiguous family boundaries with little agreement as to family history 8)little to no family loyalty 9) there is a long integration period 10) prior to possible integration, family members must recover from previous transitional stresses. 11) because society compares stepfamilies negatively to first-married families 12) balance of power is different:stepparents have relatively little authority initially, and children generally wield more power than in first-married families. 13) a good couple relationship does not necessarily make for good stepparent-stepchild relationships

few challenges of step parents and punishments

1)2 parents rather than one to establish house rules and to influence childrens behavior but he parents may not agree. 2)there may be 3 or 4 parents instead of 2 specially if the noncustodial parent sees the children regularly 3)after developing considerable independence and responsibility in single-parent families, stepchildren may be reluctant to go back to being subject to adult direction

7 stage model of stepfamily development

1)fantasy: adults expect a smooth and quick adjustment 2)immersion: tension-producing conflict emerges between the step family's 2 biological "subunits" 3)awareness: family members realize that their early fantasies are not becoming reality 4) mobilization: family members initiate efforts toward change 5)action: remarried adults decide to form a solid alliance, family boundaries are better clarified and therefor more positive. 6)contact: the stepparent becomes a significant adult family figure 7)resolution: step family achieves integration and appreciates its unique identity as a step family 4 basic consecutive stages: fantasy, confusion, conflict and comfort stages

4 reasons why children of adult parents feel less obliged to keep in contact with them.

1)have received fewer resources from their custodial parent than did their friends in intact families and feel less obliged to reciprocate. 2)strain in single parent families deriving from single parents emotional stress or economic hardship or both 3)reciprocal obligations of family members in different generations maybe less clear in single parent post-divorce families. 4)May still be angry, feeling that their parents failed to provide a stable, 2-parent household.

5 theoretical perspectives concerning the reasons for negative outcomes of divorce

1)life stress perspective: just as divorce is known to be a stressful life event for adults it must also be so for children 2) parental loss perspective: assumes that a family with both parents living in the same household is the optimal environment for kids development 3) parental adjustment perspective: importance of the custodial parents psychological adjustment and the quality of parenting. 4)economic hardship perspective: assumes that economic hardship brought about by marital dissolution is primarily responsible for the problems faced by kids whose parents divorce. 5)interparental conflict perspective: holds that conflict between parents is responsible for the lowered well-being of children of divorce

step fathers responses to difficulties

1)step father may be drive away, with the step family ultimately being dissolved 2)stepfather may take control, establishing himself as undisputed head of the household and forcing the former single-parent family to accommodate his preferences 3)the stepfather may be assimilated into a family with a mother at its head and have relatively little influence on the way things are done. 4)stepfather, his new wife and her children may all negotiate new ways of doing things.

binuclear families

2 households one family

divorce divide

Steven Martin, less educated women marry younger and end up in divorce more often. more educated women married later and have smaller divorce rates.

bereavement

a period of mourning, followed by gradual adjustment to the news, unmarried status and to the loss. manifest itself in physical, emotional and intellectual symptoms. health is declining and reported depressive symptoms. both men and women experience emotional reactions-anger, guilt, sadness, anxiety diminish over time. far more widowers than widows remarry a situation explained by the facts that 1)considerably fewer men are available as new partners 2) women appear to be less interested than men in late-life remarriage.

guaranteed child support vs childrens allowance

a policy adopted in France/Sweden the government sends to the custodial parent the full amount of support awarded to the child provides a government grant to all families bases on the number of children they have.

latent kin matrix

a web of continually shifting linkages that provide the potential for activating and intensifying close kin relationships.

divorce-extended family

accept that your childs family will expand to include nonbiological kin. moving through families becomes to feel natural.

family instability perspective

additional theory of children's negative outcomes of divorce that has emerged. instability hypothesis: stresses that transitions in and out of various family settings are the key to childrens adjustment selection hypothesis: assess whether the number of transition produces lower cognitive outcomes or behavior problems or whether preexisting characteristics of the mother explain the household instability and the effects of the instability of children.

divorce mediation

alternative non adversarial means of dispute resolution by which a couple with the assistance of a mediator or the mediators, negotiate the settlement of their custody, support, property and visitation disputes before litigation can be commenced

covenant marriage

alternative to standard marriage that couples may select at the time of marriage or later. it requires spouse to prove fault or to live apart for a substantial length of time in order to obtain a divorce or to do both.

extrusion

an indviduals being "pushed" of their households earlier than normal for members of their cultural group, either because they are forced to leave or because remaining in their households is so stressful that they "chose" to leave

ken networks in stepfamilies

as family members separate and then join new families formed by remarriage, the new kin do not so much replace as add to kin from the first marriage.

custody

assume primary responsibility for caring for the children and making decisions about their up bringing and general welfare. 83% are mothers relinquishing custody:sometimes due to abuse/neglect, while others have voluntarily surrendered custody or lost custody contest to the other parents- money, childs choice, difficulty handling the kids, instability or problems. after the parent it was very hard to achieve a workable relationship with the child as well.

mutual child

biological children of both partners in a step family are called mutual, shared or join children. research shows that a principal reason for choosing to have a child together involves hope that the mutual child will "cement" the remarriage bond. having a mutual child is associated with increased marital happiness and stability. a new child may diminish parental attention to the children already in the step family the stepchildren may feel threatened, jealous or resentful

joint custody

both divorced parents continue to take equal responsibility for important decisions regarding the child's general upbringing. can bring experiences of the 2 parents closer together, providing advantages to each. also gives each parent some downtime from parenting. 2 types: joint legal and physical custody: parents/children move periodically so that the child resides with each parent in turn on substantially equal basis. joint legal custody: both parents have the right to participate in important legal authority with physical custody going to one parent. joint custody is expensive, no child support. no always a good choice for children of divorced parents. children in this situation has the best adjustment in family relationships, self-esteem, emotional and behavioral adjustment.

double vs single remarriages

both partners had been married before, twice as likely to have broken up as marriages of people in their first marriage only one partner had been previously married, did not differ significantly from first marriage in their likelihood of divorce. raised when they have step children

elder care

care provided to the elderly. 20% of american over age 75 are engaged in some form of care giving. involves emotional support and sometimes financial assistance 1/4 of american households are involved in elder care. 18 hours per week informal care giving: unpaid and provided personally by a family member as a form of unpaid family work. gerontologists: social scientists who study aging, more specifically define care giving as "assistance provided to persons who cannot for whatever reason, perform the basic activities or instrumental activities of daily living for them

difficulties of step parenting

children are influenced not only by their residential parents but also by their relationship with their noncustodial biological parent. family-rule differences, along with disruptions associated with one or more family members coming and going may be stressful. three major parenting challenges can be identified in remarried families with stepchildren 1)financial strains(due to financial obligation from the first marriage and stepparent role ambiguity) 2) role ambiguity(not fully understood what their role includes) 3) negative feelings of the children who may not want the new family to work(children harbor fantasies that their original parents will reunite)

child well being in marriage

children whose parents were continuously and happily married are most successful in adulthood. 2 types of marriage: 1/3 marital conflict is so serious and so affects kids that they are much better off. 2/3 conflict is low-level and not visible to children. child well being is measure in 6 factors: educational performance, percentage of kids in poverty, infant deaths from child abuse, teenage suicide rates, juvenile delinquency and drug rates. 50% of divorced parents have good relationships and 50% dont.

filial responsibility

childs obligation to parents,, and often by affection adult children care for their folks, "because they're my parents". parents expected help from their adult children in proportion to the aid that the parents had once given to their children. adult children who had received considerably more financial help from their parents were more likely than their siblings to be engaged in caring for the parent in old age. most are woman 2/3.

intergenerational transmission of divorce

commitment to marriage hypothesis: when parents remain married they served as models of optimism about solving marital problems.

grandparenthood

depend on for child care grandparenting style: remote: 1/3, often they live far way companionate: 1/2, grandparents do things with their grandchildren but exercise little authority and allow the parent to control access to youth involved: live with/near grandchildren and frequently initiating interaction with their grandchildren. 87% of black grandparents felt free to correct a grandchilds behavior. cultural conservator grandparents: actively seeking contact and temporary coresidence with their grandchildren. custodial grandparents see grandkids more than noncustodial grandparent(usually maternal grandparent_

legal divorce

dissolution of the marriage by the state through a court order terminating the marriage. dissolve the marriage contract so that emotionally divorced spouses can conduct economically separate lives and be free to remarry 1)divorce like death, creates the need to grieve 2)aspect of the legal divorce that aggravates conflict and misery is the adversary system."protect your rights" in divorce one is usually known as the guilty partner, those thought of as guilty rarely got custody of the kids or alimony, or the opinion of friends or family

economics and divorce

family members no longer need one another for basic necessities they are freer to divorce than they once were. the higher the social class; education, income and home ownership, the less likely a couple is to divorce. wives employment in itself makes no difference in marital quality. husbands are supportive of their wives employment and share in housework does relate to wives marital satisfaction.

fictive kin

family-like relationships that are not based on blood or marriage but on close friendship ties, are often resources for eldercare giving help among african americans

family law and step families

few legal provisions exist for several remarried family challenges. ex stepparents are not required to support their spouses children financially although most voluntarily choose to provide contributions. remarrieds often share their economic resources, they also take care to protect their individual interests and those of their biological children. some stepparents do continue relationships with their stepchildren after divorce. if a stepparent dies without a will, stepchildren are not legally entitled to any inheritance.

caregiving trajectory

first caregiver becomes concerned about an aging family member, and often she or he expresses this concern to others although not necessarily to the older family members. parents may become more controlling as they grow older a common reaction to loss of bodily and social power with aging and retirement. caregiving is stressful and can be physically, financially and emotionally costly. providing eldercare may be socially isolating, often bring on depression and may further strain one's own health.

nuclear-family monopoly

first-marriage family is the "real" model for family living with all other family forms "seen as deficient alternatives" this "prejudice" affects everyone's understanding of stepfamilies so that we incorrectly expect a second marriage to be "more or less the same as the first"

Barriers to Divorce

function to keep marriages intact even when attractiveness of the marital relationship is low and the attractiveness of alternatives to the relationship is high

her vs his divorce

gives a blow to each ones self-esteem. women who were married, especially those who whose traditional gender roles, lose the identity associated with their husbands status. monitoring and supervising kids as a single parent is especially difficult. due to finances and the high cost of child care. women are more likely to have built social support networks, and they do show greater emotional adjustment and recovery than men. divorced noncustodial fathers have more radical readjustments to make in their lifestyles then do custodial mothers. most daughters grow a closer relationship to her mother during a divorce. man may worry that if his ex-wife remarries he will lose even more influence over his children's upbringing. in situations of isolation and depression men are more likely than women to be vulnerable to substance abuse and alcoholism.

remarriages

half of all marriages "family moon" honeymoon that includes the entire new step family declining due to the increase in cohabitation, paying child support and does want to that responsibility to go on the new family. has become socially and culturally accepted. 88% of children in a household are the biological children. child of parent and new spouse is called the biological step or mutual child. counselors advise waiting until one has worked through grief and anger over the prior divorce before entering into a serious relationship. pattern of remarriage: a. male partner spends a few nights per week in mothers household b. brief period of full-time living together. c. remarriage the finances of women who remarry improve mens remarriage rates are substantially higher particularly after age 30

interference with visitation

happens with conflict between parents. frustrating for fathers who do want to maintain close contact with their children. Rights Enforcement Act, requires states to recognize and enforce visitation orders of another state.

redivorce

have higher divorce rates than first marriages. children experience emotional transitions in family structure and lifestyle.

transmission of divorce

having parents who divorced increases the likelihood of divorcing/marrying early/premarital births 1)divorcing parents are models of divorce as a solution to marital problems 2) children of divorced parents are more likely to exhibit personal behaviors that interfere with maintaining a happy marriage.

baby boom

high birthrate created after wwII these baby boomers are all in the elderly stage of their lives now causing our nation to age. longer life expectancy has contributed to the aging of our population "young old" 65-74 "older old" 75-85 "old-old" 85+ life expectancy is now 79.2-84 women on average live 5 years longer than men. more elderly woman will have spouses who may be able to care for them-asians/whites have the longest life expectancy those with better finances have better healthcare therefore longer life expectancy's 38% of those over 74 live alone- parents prefer to live near one another although not in the same residence

income-to-needs ratio

how well income meets financial needs. women and their children experience a decline of 20-36 5 in their income-to-needs ratio. some women custodial parents rely on child support to by family expenses.

Wallerstein Research

interviewed all members of 60 different families. children appeared worst in terms of their psychological adjustment at one year after separation. after 2 years most households have stabilized. 60% of the study children were likely to receive less education than their fathers-45% less than mothers. many parents leave their family- men who become uninterested and detached and women who become overwhelmed with family life. many of them think of it as a "second chance"

child support

involves money paid by the noncustodial to the custodial parent to support the children of a now-ended marital, cohabiting or sexual relationship child support is rewarded to the custodial parent is often not paid, the main reason for failure to payi s unemployment or underemployment

emotional divorce

involves withholding positive emotions and communications from the relationship. partners no longer reinforce but undermine each others self-esteem through endless large and small betrayals. in a failing marriage, both spouses feel profoundly disappointed, misunderstood and rejected. women are more often the initiators of a divorce the one who is being divorced often feels left out.

no-fault divorce

laws which exist in all 50 states, eliminated legal concepts of guilt and are a symbolic representation of how our society now views divorce people view marriage as not permanent, if people behave as if their marriage could end it is more likely that it will. marriage involves continual negotiation and renegotiation among members about trivial matters as well as important ones.

income effect

low-income couples, a wife's earnings may actually help to hold the marriage together by counter-acting the negative effects of poverty and economic insecurity of marital stability. women's educational gains seems to be stabilizing factor in marriage.

spousal support

maintenance in the form off rehabilitative alimony in which the ex-husband pays in his ex-wife maintenance for a few years while she prepares to reenter the job market. some women believe they deserve entitlement-pay for the work they did at home during the length of a marriage.

double standard of aging

men arent considered old or sexually ineligible as soon as women are. in our culture being physically attractive is far more important in attracting a mate for women than for men. "they're still doing it"

sandwich generation

middle-aged individuals, usually women-although not always- who are sandwiched between the simultaneous responsibilities of caring for their dependent children and aging parents.

binuclear family

new family type that includes members of the 2 (or more) families that existed before the divorce and remarriage

unilateral divorce

no-fault divorce, one partner can secure the divorce even if the other wants to continue the marriage.

hidden agenda

one of the first difficulties a stepfather encounters: the mother, her children or both may have expectations about what the stepfather will do but may not think to give the new husband a clear picture of those expectations. typically play their roles more as friends than parents

elder abuse/neglect

overt acts of aggression- physical abuse, emotional humiliation, purposeful social isolation, or financial exploitation acts of omission or failure to give adequate care.

active life expectancy

period of life free of disability in activities of daily living, after which may follow a period of being at least somewhat disabled. men: 79 women: 81

stress-related growth

positive outcome of divorce. when a traumatic event generates an ultimate result that makes the person stronger. ex. divorce brings relief to partners. types of growth: self, interpersonal relationships(closer to friends/family), and growth/change in philosophy of life

happily divorced

positive outcomes of divorce have better physical and emotional health and higher morale. one must decide whether divorce represents a healthy step away from an unhappy relationship that cannot be satisfactorily improved or is an illusory way to solve what in reality are personal problems divorced individuals who remarry have greater overall happiness and those who divorce and remain unmarried have greater levels of life satisfaction, self-esteem and overall health than unhappily married people.

acculturation

process whereby immigrant groups adopt the beliefs, values, norms of their new culture. more elderly immigrants today than in the past live in housing designed for the elderly rather than with their grown children. the ratio of adult children to elderly parents is declining.

public face

produces public goods and services by educating their children caring for their ill and helping their elderly members, also serves a large community

private face

provides individuals with intimacy, emotional support, and love. family integrity: ultimate, positive outcome of an older adults developmental striving toward meaning, connection and continuity within his or her multigenerational family.

marital happiness and satisfaction

quality of the marital relationship whether or not it is permanent and duration of the union. division of household labor is important for marital satisfaction. more equity or fairness in remarriages than in the first marriage. remarriages dissolve at higher rates than first marriages especially for remarried couples with stepchildren. 60% of remarriages end in divorce 1) generally cohabit first 2) more willing to divorce 3) family is less supportive of those with remarriages.

psychic divorce

refers to the regaining of psychological autonomy through emotional separation from the personality and influence of the former spouse.

community divorce

refers to the ruptures of the relationships and changes in social networks that come about as a result of divorce. some courts allow grandparents visitation rights in certain circumstances. mothers typically grew closer to and relied more on their parents after divorce. building a new community involves dating again

factors of divorce

remarried mates are more likely to divorce, premarital sex and cohabitation before marriage increases the likelihood of divorce, premarital pregnancy and childbearing usually increase the risk of divorce in a subsequent marriage, remaining child-free is associated with a higher likelihood of divorce blacks, asians and hispanic women have a lower divorce rate than whites. when marital partners are emotionally mature and possess good interpersonal communications kills, they are better able to deal with the bumps along the road to marital survival

cultural script

set of socially prescribed and understood guidelines for relating to each other or for defining responsibilities and obligations. incomplete institution : remarried institution-andrew cherlin

co-parenting

shared decision making and parental supervision in such areas as discipline and schoolwork or shared holidays and recreation. step families(instant families): have children from the start, spouses have little time or privacy to adjust to each other as partners.

todays again economy

social security benefits, private pensions from employers, personal savings and social welfare programs. the retired spend more of their incomes on healthcare, health costs are rising dramatically and medicare are likely to keep up. 1/10 of older adults are living in poverty. older men are better off than older women women are penalized for conforming to a role that they are strongly encouraged to assume unpaid household worker and their disadvantaged economic position is carried into old age.

step mother trap

society expects romantic, almost mythical loving relationships between stepmothers and children. although these relationships are seen in a negative life in fairy tales(cinderella) stepmothers expect to be included in step family activities but certainly do not see themselves as replacing the stepchild's mother. part-time or "weekend" step mothers when women are married to noncustodial fathers who see their children regularly- they often feel left out by the fathers continued relationship with his ex-wife. residential step mothers: face somewhat different challenges- residential stepmother role involves the fact that stepmother families more than stepfather families, begin after difficult custody battles or have a history of particularly trouble family relations or both.

retirement

some people are unable to afford to retire. many people retire gradually by steadily reducing their work hours or intermittently leaving then returning to the labor force before retiring completely. a retired husband may choose to devote more attention to family roles such as being a companionate husband and grandparent; he might spend more time in homemaking tasks especially if his wife is still employed. busy ethic: esteems leisure that is earnest, occupied and filled with activity husbands are happier with wives retirement than vice versa.

should divorce be harder to get

some unhappily married individuals postponed divorce until their children were older. high divorce rate signals the decline of american family covenant marriage premarital counseling, marriage education, marriage counseling or some combination of the 3 as either require or elective for couples planning to marry. divorce is not always or necessarily bad for children. some marriages those involving physical violence or over conflict or both-are harmful to children and to one or both spouses. "mental cruelty" was the most easily proven grounds for divorce but the evidence for this was often exaggerated

Levinger's model of divorce decisions

spouses asses their marriage in terms of the rewards and alternatives to marriage, all from the perspective of the person considering divorce. barriers associated with lower likelihood of divorce: 1)when the wifes income was a smaller percentage of the family income 2) when church attendance was high 3)when there was a new child long marriages are less likely to end in divorce, and if it does its usually due to the onset of an empty nest. it is the reward of marriages that keep people together.

step family boundary ambiguity

state when family members are uncertain in their perception of who is in or out of the family or who is performing what roles and tasks within the family system. "married or cohabiting couples in which at least one partner has a biological or adopted child from a previous union living inside or outside the household

childrens well being in step families

step children of all ages have higher rates of juvenile delinquency, do less well in school, may experience more family conflict and are somewhat less well-adjusted than children in first marriage families. remarriage lessens some negative effects for children but only for those who experienced their parents divorce at an early age and when the remarriage remained intact family structure is not as important to step childrens well-being or future outcomes as is the quality of the communication and relationships among family members. low percent of stepchildren are physically or sexually abused

divorce

the average length of a first marriage that ends in divorce is about 8 years. the divorce rate has stabilized for the time being, rise of age in marriage. credit marriage education programs help failing marriages, government funded for those who cannot afford it. divorce rates may have stabilized or decline because cohabitation has increased. marriage can be dissolved by death as well as divorce. whites and asians are most likely to live in 2 parent homes, blacks most likely one-parent. one of main reasons for divorce is that people expectations are too high, those whose expectations are more practical are more satisfied with their marriages than are those who expect completely loving and expressive relationships

economic divorce

they become distinct economic units, each with its own property, income, control of expenditures and responsibility for taxes, debts, and so on. women and their children experience declines in family income of between 27-51%. most state laws require division of property that is specified as "equitable". marriage is an economic partnership, family property belongs equally to both partners, the remaining states the majority have laws promising a divorced wife either an equitable or an equal share of marital power

relationships between parents and adult children

tight-knit: geographic proximity, frequency of contact, emotional closeness, similar opinions and providing assistance sociable: geographical proximity, freq of contact, emotional closeness, similar opinions, no based on receiving assistance obligatory: geographical proximity, freq of contact, no based on emotional closeness or similar opinions. less likely to receive assistance intimate but distant: emotional closeness, similar opinions, not geographic proximity, frequency of contact, providing assistance and receiving assistance. detached: not engaged with parents based on any of these 6 indicators of solidarity most common relationship between mother and child is tight-knit most common relationship between a father and adult child was detached. adult children were more likely to have obligatory or detached relations with divorced or separated mothers than with married mothers/fathers.

independence effect

unhappy married women power, increased independence and the self-confidence to help her decide to divorce. economic inter dependency in marriage is a strong bond holding marriage together.

caregiver model of elder abuse and neglect

views abusive or neglectful caregivers as individuals who are simply overwhelmed by the requirements of caring for their elderly family members.

domestic violence model

views elder abuse and neglect as one form of family violence and focuses on characteristics of abusers, on situations that put potential victims at increased risk and on possible criminal justice response.

co-parent

working together. parents in many states are now required to negotiate a "parenting plan" before their divorce is approved.

double standard of aging

works against women in the remarriage market: in our society women are considered to be less physically attractive with age and they may also be less interest in fulfilling more traditional gender role expectations.