I'm sorry

I'm sorry mom that I am not that perfect daughter I'm sorry I disappointed you Got into bad things, made some wrong choices I'm sorry I scare you with my cutting I'm sorry I think about suicide I'm sorry I'm not the daughter you want me to be I'm not living up to your expectations I'm sorry for not having the picture perfect relationship you planned I'm sorry

I'm sorry you thought my no meant yes I'm sorry you thought that it was ok to shove your hands down my pants To grab me and lift me off the ground It was fun at first dancing talking and then you went too far You grabbed me when I tried to leave I'm sorry I didn't push you away I'm sorry I couldn't say no I'm sorry that I was afraid you would hurt me if I said no I'm sorry I let this happen

I'm sorry did I hurt you, did I play with your emotions I'm sorry for my devotion to who I am You didn't get a good grade I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm not the person you want me to be The perfect daughter, the perfect friend, the perfect girlfriend I will never be that perfect person I'm sorry

Why was I born like this, liking both men and women? What was the purpose in being different? Is it to feel insignificant? To feel worthless and sorry for who you are I'm sorry I wasn't born with the same morals I'm sorry

I'm sorry is a phrase that is used over and over again. I'm sorry this, I'm sorry that, the phrase I'm sorry doesn't have an effect or meaning anymore. According to Merriam-Webster dictionary sorry means "feeling sorrow or regret." We throw the word sorry around like it is nothing. We say sorry when we don't know what else to say. The word I'm sorry is used as a bandaid, used to cover up a wound that needs stitches preventing it from healing. In turn it leaves a scar.

According to Lena Dunham in an article in Huffington post "Apologizing is a modern plague." Every time we say the phrase I'm sorry we are infecting others. Making them believe that the phrase I'm sorry fixes everything. But the phrase I'm sorry should never be used to apologize for who you are. Each and every one of us are unique and different. Being who you are should not be something to feel bad or burdened by. Instead embrace your quirkiness and love yourself as you are. I'm sorry an original.

Your confused about how you feel and all you can say is I'm sorry I'm sorry I don't want know why I don't want to date you I'm sorry I keep hurting you I know it's hard to show your feelings and I'm sorry our relationship is complicated. I want you by my side you repeat I'm sorry, but is it too much to ask for us to be together

For you not to feel ashamed even with your friends Our friends know yet you make it a point to tell them we are not dating I'm sorry that you feel so ashamed of me I love you we say at night, but I'm sorry is always a part of our conversations I don't want you to be sorry to be with me

Can you hear me screaming through the smile I put on? Can you see the tears I am holding back? The headache I get by keeping my opinions inside The depressive state I am put into every time I speak I'm sorry that you don't know who I am How I live, how I breathe, how I handle my problems I'm sorry you don't choose to walk in someone else's shoes The shoes I have been walking in for the last 16 years

My name is Kaylani and I'm sorry if that frightens you I'm sorry if you think my name is too different If you think I look nerdy, or think I look fat I'm sorry if you think that I actually care what you think of me I'm sorry if the only pleasure you get is by tearing someone down I'm sorry for being that bubbly person that puts a smile on others faces Aren't you tired of hearing me say I'm sorry................... good because I'm tired of saying it So, I am who I am and I am no longer sorry about that

I used to be the girl who loved school work Who asked for more homework Who only wanted to play sports Who didn't care what others thought The only thing that mattered was that A at the top of my work But you told me that was wrong That I can't play sports because I am a girl That I can't be smart because I would be a nerd That I can't eat too much or I would get fat

You made an image for me one that I felt forced to achieve I lost myself behind all the labels applied to me Forcing myself into a mold that didn't fit me But at the time that didn't matter, I did as I was told But now at 16 years old I look at myself in the mirror and see a stranger Wondering what ever happened to that girl who used to love herself Hello? Can you hear me? I'm trying to break free From all this pain bottled up within me (Pause)