Managing conflict through forgiveness
Facts from video
-Up to 25% of prison guards have PTSD (more than those in Vietnam War) -8-16 hour work days (cycle repeats, decompression) -JP's boss told him to suck it up
Relationship between forgiveness and reconciliation : Forgiveness granted and Genuine Reconciliation
-Victims forgives for own sake as well as for the sake as well as for the sake of the relationship -Victim forgives because the offender is in need of forgiveness -over time victim sees other like self -overtime victim sees self like other -RELATIONSHIP IS RECREATED YAY!
Relationship between forgiveness and reconciliation: When forgiveness is not granted but there is pseudo-reconciliation
-people interact but maintain distance -event generally not discussed, if discussed may be used as means of maintaining power -blaming cycles -often sets stage for further conflict
Relationship between forgiveness and reconciliation: When forgiveness is granted but no reconciliation
-victim forgives for own sake -event is reframed over time -distance kept from offender or interaction only under limited circumstances
Levels of Forgiveness 5 levels (210-211)Fir
1 level - a person may forgive because it is healthy, makes us feel better. 2nd Level -person might forgive becuase of empathy for another, 3rd moves a person to forgiving for the sake of the other to forgiving for the sake of the relationship
Levels of reconciliation : Processual reconciliation
offender attempts to remedy the harm done
4th level level of forgiveness
person begins to see the offender "like me" Empathy increases thus lessening the victim-villain characterization
Corrections Fatigue:
the cumulative negative transformation of the personality of corrections professionals as a result of insufficient strategies for adapting to the demands of the corrections workplace;
Level of forgiveness 4th and 5th levels
these are unlikely to occur expect when relationship is reconciliation and recreation
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
"A normal human response to an abnormal situation" Three common characteristics: 1.The event is unexpected 2.You are unprepared for the event 3.The event is unavoidable
Stages of forgiveness
-Hurt -Hate -Healing -Coming Together - may not always be a face to face meeting but can include you coming together in your psychological, mental and or emotional sense) -Reconciliation does not have to follow Forgiveness
Levels of reconciliation
- No reconciliation -possible reconciliation -Conditional reconciliation -processual reconciliation -Restoration
How to learn to forgive (table 9.1 in text)
- understand forgiveness is a process -allow yourself to experience anger -dont adhere to the "victim" stage -Focus on your responsibility in the situation and your responses
What is The Stan Daniels Healing Centre
-A 72-bed facility that has both a Community Residential Facility and a Section 81 designation. -Residents at the Centre are either conditionally released offenders (day parole or full parole / statutory release with residency), or residents with inmate status. -The Warrior Program
Relationship between forgiveness and reconciliation : When forgiveness is not granted and no reconciliation
-Event may be repressed or alternatively used to establish victim status -bitterness -Lack of trust with similar others
Levels of Forgiveness 5 levels
-Forgiveness for one's own sake -forgiveness as altruism -Forgiveness for the sake of the relationship -Forgiveness for recognition: "you are like me" Forgiveness from recognition: I am like you
What is Restorative Justice
1.A philosophy and an approach that views crime and conflict principally as harm done to people and relationships 2.Provide support and safe opportunities for the voluntary participation and communication between those affected (victims, offenders, and community) 3. encourages accountability, reparation, and a movement towards understanding, feelings of satisfaction, healing, safety and a sense of closure.
What are the Advantages Of Forgiveness
1.Benefits Our Mental Health 2.Raise in self-esteem 3.Generally lowers depression 4.Benefits Our Physical Health
Symptoms of PTSD
3 PTSD symptoms: Reliving or re-experiencing the trauma Attempting to avoid thoughts, situations, or people that are reminders of the trauma Increased anxiety or arousal, including being constantly, on guard for danger, and being easily startled Source: PTSD Association of Canada
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is an internal process where you: work through the hurt gain an understanding of what happened rebuild a sense of safety let go of the grudge **the offending party is not necessarily a part of this process
Reconciliation
Is an interpersonal process where you dialogue with the offender about what happened exchange stories express the hurt listen for the remorse begin to reestablish trust Forgiveness is solo, reconciliation is a joint venture.
Group Activity: A Documentary About Forgiveness questions: Based on our discussion on the symptoms of PTSD, do you think the officer may be experiencing PTSD? Explain.
Most likely yes.. The reasons are thinking about dying Life out of control Live with it everyday
Group Activity: A Documentary About Forgiveness questions: What 2 impacts did the officer describe was the benefit of writing the letter to the perpetrator?
My hate did not matter anymore... A major load was taken away from my life (the sense of peace) Verbally stating "I forgave him"
What is Forgiveness
a cognitive process that consists of letting go of feelings of revenge and desires to retaliate.
What is Reconciliation?
is a behavioral process in which we take actions to restore a relationship or create a new one following forgiveness
Levels of reconciliation: No reconciliation
is even if forgiveness has taken place
Levels of reconciliation: Conditional reconciliation
when offender communicates regret for the offense and offers an apology
Levels of reconciliation: possible reconciliation
when the offender admits culpability
Levels of reconciliation: Restoration
when trust is rebuilt and the relationship is recreared