Marital Relationships Midterm
The Doctrine
"Marriage was the basis for human exaltation. To those sealed by the priesthood, the promises were startling...The great godly power was procreation, the continuation of seed. The ultimate social order of heaven was familial...To be exalted, men and women must be bound together" The marriage revelation culminated the emergence of family theology. More than any other previous revelation, this one put family first. Richard Bushman, Rough Stone Rolling. Pg 443-445.
Technology Quote by Bednar
"Please be careful of becoming so immersed and engrossed in pixels, texting, ear buds, twittering, online social networking, and potentially addictive uses of media and the Internet that you fail to recognize the importance of your physical body and miss the richness of person-to-person communication." Elder Bednar
Maggie Gallagher Quote "most remarkable thing"
"Today we have learned through a painful process of social experimentation that it is not free love but the vow that is daring. To dare to pledge our whole selves to a single love is the most remarkable thing most of us will ever do."
Wedlock
"Wed"-to pledge or promise, "Lock"-a gift or offering in the form of a play or dance.
Cherlin Reading
- first marriage has become more like remarriage - deinstitutionalization I mean the weakening of the social norms that define people's behavior in a social institution such as marriage. - cohabitation is rising
The Need to be Become (Self-Concept, Maturity, and Differentiation)
-All point to the importance of a solid self being a foundation for intimacy. -Maturity-able to be nonreactive and secure in who you are. -Differentiation-able to be true to your self and not primarily concerned with fitting in. You are able to differentiate and act on your own feelings and needs in contrast to primarily doing what others expect.
Who tells our relationship stories today?
-Consider how we use our time in the choices we make in viewing television, playing video games, surfing the Internet, or reading books or magazines. Of course it is good to view wholesome entertainment or to obtain interesting information. But not everything of that sort is worth the portion of our life we give to obtain it. Some things are better, and others are best. When the Lord told us to seek learning, He said, "Seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom" (D&C 88:118; emphasis added). Dallen H. Oaks Oct 2007 General Conference
How have these changes influenced the way you behave in your relationships?
-Constant Partial Attention --The Dragon at the Dinner Table ---More than 1/3 decline in number of families eating together ---Most people now interrupt events they would never allow others to disrupt in the past from weddings, church, public ceremonies, to more private behaviors like sex and intimate conversations. ---Recent studies suggest youth spend virtually all of their waking time texting, on the internet, watching television, video games or using other devices-Equivalent to 11 hours a day- because of multitasking. ---Heaviest users do worse in school, are more likely to be obese, have poorer social skills, are more depressed. --All are examples of the "I am the center of the universe" attitude.
Smock Reading
-Despite high levels of aspirations for marriage, there are trends signaling a retreat from marriage - People appear to tie marriage "readiness" to having a comfortable income - marriage has come to be seen as a luxury good, a step to be taken after one has achieved a comfortable level of economic stability - remarriage is common because divorce remains common - There also appears to be a retreat from remarriage.
The Need to Become or be Unique
-Foundation for all types of growth -Pushes us to master tasks -Develop talents -Express ourselves artistically -Endure and overcome difficulties -Agency -Twin studies
Relationships are the Best Places to Learn to Balance the Two Needs
-Individuals notoriously poor at self perceptions (e.g. one percent of people think they are less attractive than average). -Difficult to tell if we are over-emphasizing uniqueness or connection, selfishness or suffocation -Differences between people create friction/intensity but are crucial for growth. Represents the clash between Belonging and Becoming within relationships. -Love between people soothes the friction, allows growth -Relationships are Mirrors-Providing a clearer view of who we are by how we affect others-Kierkegaard -The best place to give and receive the rarest of gifts-honesty within a committed space.
The Wedding Dance
-Marriage then is redeeming the pledge made at the betrothal by uniting a man and woman in a dance of intimacy for the rest of their lives. -The wedding dance of the Latter Day Saints is very unique as the dance is first experienced between the individual and God and only then, only after the individual has been "encircled in the arms of His love," The Embrace, is she or he ready to engage in the wedding dance with another human. -The unique pattern then of LDS doctrine and practice is that a person has to be worthy of a relationship with God to be worthy of a relationship with a spouse. While common marriage is the right of any person regardless of conduct or spiritual worthiness, eternal temple marriage, the singular type of marriage discussed and taught in the church, is available only to those who have made serious covenants to raise their lives to a higher level of conduct. This practice and doctrine are likely the most unique and distinguishing features of our faith and the implications on marriage and family life are profound.
Relationships reach critical points where differences overwhelm love. What are your options?
-Push for sameness- strange because we are acting out of our need to be unique -Wimp out- do and say nothing, anger & frustration build -Rely on commitment values until love has enough time to soothe the friction and promote movement -Practice charity- suffer long and be kind enough to be honest
How have these changes influenced our relationships?
-Religious movements change what we believe in -Technological changes influences how we behave
How have these changes influenced your belief in the permanency of relationships?
-Secular Individualism rules the day -Bloom --Primary preoccupation is with yourselves (Freedom outweighs community, connection, charity) --No longer believe relationships are likely to last (Being in a relationship has replaced being fully committed in love) --Elimination of modesty, virginity, sexual exclusivity (Men get what they want. Women raise children alone) -All of these changes are connected to three things: --Theories about our Origins-No real purpose, no real consequences --Wealth=success- what I gain is what I am. --Technology reduces need for others (Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it- Max Frisch)
Illustrations of Both/And View of Needs
-Strange Situation with Infants -Secure Base provides Freedom to Explore -Process of Being Connected, Exploring the Outside World, and Checking Back on Connections Never Ends.
The two needs create a dynamic tension.
-The "test" is whether we can achieve both in balance -Failing the test results in imperfection, lack of fullness
Three types of cohabiting unions
1. Accelerated Cohabitors 2. Tentative Cohabitors 3. Purposeful Delayers
Four common reasons for cohabitation
1. Convenience-easier than going home every night 2. Trial Run for Marriage 3. Finances/Housing 4. Alternative to Marriage
Alarming Trends of Marriage
1. People are waiting longer to get married 2. Sexuality and marriage are now separated 3. Childrearing and marriage are now separated
In Hawkins article he quotes President Faust and discusses the three part test needed to determine if ending a marriage is justified. What are the three parts (hint- the three headings in the article that follow)?
1. Prolonged Difficulties 2. Apparently Irredeemable Marriage 3. Destruction of Human Dignity
The Most Dramatic Changes in Society have usually been a result of two things
1. Religious Movements 2. Technological Change
Two explanations for poorer outcomes in cohabitation
1. Selection Effect 2. Cohabitation Effect
Causal Pathway from a Society where divorce is rare to one where it is common is as follows
1. Social Changes lead to better economic conditions 2. Better Economic Conditions lead to Higher Standards of Living 3. Higher Standards of Living lead to a Stronger Focus on Individual Satisfaction & Happiness 4. Stronger Focus on Individual Happiness leads to Higher Standards for Marriage 5. Higher Standards for Marriage Lead to Increased Demands on Divorce Courts 6. Higher Demand on Divorce Courts leads to Easing of Divorce Law 7. Easing of Divorce Law, More Money, Emphasis on Personal Happiness leads to Higher Divorce
Later age at first marriage
28 for Women (24 in Utah) 30 for Men (26 in Utah)
In Chapter 7 of the Text, the beauty stereotype suggests that physically attractive people are kinder, more sensitive, and more interesting than less attractive people. What is a downside to being physically attractive? a. Attractive people are judged as equally vain as less attractive people. b. Potential partners are only interested in attractive people's reproductive fitness c. Attractive people find it difficult to trust positive feedback from others d. Employers are more likely to offer attractive people a job
Attractive people find it difficult to trust positive feedback from others
Three essential principles of Self Determination Theory
Autonomy = Agency Competence = Becoming Relatedness = Belonging
What is the biggest problem with sexual involvement before being in a relationship? A. Sexual involvement means you are in a relationship B. It can lead to seeing others as sex objects for your benefit. C. If you are sexually involved it means people were probably drinking. D. Participating in NCMOs means you are less likely to get married.
B. It can lead to seeing others as sex objects for your benefit.
The desire to master and overcome problems is an example of what primary need we discussed in class?
Become or Be Unique
Bailey-Calling Cards Reading
Before the mid-1920s, a system of 'calling' was used to link women and men. Dating replaced it soon thereafter, moving courtship from community events to restaurants, theatres and dance halls. There was no implied supervision of the private sphere, where family and community could watch. Also, the public world required money and so men's money became the basis of the dating system. By the 1950s Americans began to think dating was universal though it was only three decades old. Some wanted the old system to return, but the new system was lauded by most and seen as innocent. By the late nineteenth century, a new and coherent social group started to drive American cultural life, which was the new middle class that arose during the industrial revolution. Magazines and newspapers in this...
In his article on divorce, Amato concludes by suggesting that... A. The deinstitutionalization of marriage is a poor explanation for the changes in divorce B. As expectations for what constituted a good marriage increased so did divorce C. Public demand for divorce pressured courts to liberalize the grounds for divorce D. Both A & B E. Both B &C
Both B &C B. As expectations for what constituted a good marriage increased so did divorce C. Public demand for divorce pressured courts to liberalize the grounds for divorce
_______________is the most dramatic change in the pathway to marriage.
Cohabitation
Lasting of Cohabitation
Cohabiting relationships tend to be short-lived •Within 5 years: −55% marry −40% break up •About 5% continue as "cohabiting" after 5 years •Is it now a stage of relationship development?
Divine Love - Russell M Nelson
Divine Love is... Perfect and Infinite Enduring Universal Also Conditional Conditional Nature of Divine Blessings - Such a blessing is conditional. Those who fail to tithe have no promise. Why is divine love conditional? Because God loves us and wants us to be happy. Divine Love Provides Us with a Pattern - Perhaps no love in mortality approaches the divine more than the love parents have for their children.
What is one of the three types of love discussed in class and in Wing to Wing?
EROS-Passionate or Romantic Love
Which of the following would NOT be a statement Lewis made in his article on Eros: a. when a man is being lustful a woman is exactly what he doesn't want. b. Eros makes abstinence easier c. Eros is a synonym for lust d. Eros honored without reservation becomes a demon.
Eros is a synonym for lust
Love Concepts
Eros, Philia, Agape
Since fewer people are marrying and those who are unhappy in their marriages are divorcing, the percentage of couples who are married and are happy with their marriage is higher. True or False?
False
True or False: If cohabitation lasts longer than a year it is a viable test for marriage.
False
According to Hawkins, the marriage years of 6-10 are the years with the highest risk of divorce True or False.
False... THE FIRST FIVE YEARS "research documents that the first five years of a marriage are the years with the highest risk of divorce, and these risks are even higher for remarriages"
In chapter 7 of the text it is clear that consistent with complementarity theory, complementary traits are more predictive of relationship satisfaction than similar traits. True or false?
False... it is similar
The Dance
In this sense the temple is an iconographic expression of Restoration truth. What it demands of the faithful is moral purity of intent and participation rather than doctrinal precision. Experiences gained at the temple help foster and forge experience and ideas within an artistic representation. Douglas James Davies, Mormon Spirituality pg 157.
Sex without Strings
Key Findings: - Today's singles mating culture is not oriented to marriage, as the mating culture was in the past - "sex without strings, relationship without rings." - They look to education as the principal means for increasing their chances of marital success - learn how to communicate more effectively and how to resolve conflict in relationships. Changing the Mating Culture: - it may prove difficult to strengthen marriage unless today's mating culture can somehow be changed - encourage a mating culture more oriented to successful mate selection, away from breakup and failure and toward commitment and marriage - TWO POSSIBLE AVENUES FOR CHANGE 1. broad-based public education about the factors that may hinder mating success 2. mothers and fathers, as well as grandparents, realized how much their attitudes mattered, they might take it upon themselves to begin talking to children early on about what to look for in a marriage mate and what it takes to have a good marriage
___________is insufficient as a full explanation for why people marry.
Love
According to Amato, during the colonial period gender differences in divorce indicate that A. Men initiated more divorces B. Women were more adulterous C. Divorce was easier to obtain for women D. All of the above E. None of the above
None of the above
Need to Belong
One of the three primary needs embodied in your soul. -The foundation of all types of love -It pushes you to connect with others -Compromise -Physically felt through sexual drives, endorphins -Emotionally felt through feelings of love -Spiritually felt through feelings of joy and connection -It is the only thing that makes the emptiness of the universe bearable.
Amato Reading
Only what we discussed in class and on quizzes, I would learn the steps of a culture that moves from low divorce to high divorce we discussed on this day, not in the article. MEMORIZE THIS LIST −Causal Pathway from a Society where divorce is rare to one where it is common is as follows: •Social Changes lead to better economic conditions: •Better Economic Conditions lead to Higher Standards of Living •Higher Standards of Living lead to a Stronger Focus on Individual Satisfaction & Happiness •Stronger Focus on Individual Happiness leads to Higher Standards for Marriage •Higher Standards for Marriage Lead to Increased Demands on Divorce Courts •Higher Demand on Divorce Courts leads to Easing of Divorce Law •Easing of Divorce Law, More Money, Emphasis on Personal Happiness leads to Higher Divorce
Conclusions
Our Faith Matters in Positive and Negative Ways o Positive- We have significantly stronger relational attitudes that support relational decisions that help form a good foundation for marriage. o It appears our relationally oriented doctrines and practices are working for the majority of our active church members. We are more relationally focused than people in other Abrahamic faiths and the nonreligious. o Negative- When our connection to our religion is weaker it is more likely that we will be worse off, in terms of our relationships, than most other people in most other religions or the nonreligious. Why? •What is the direction of causality? Does our lower religiosity lead to worse relationships or worse relationships lead to lower faith? •The participants' parents' marriage was the variable most strongly associated with lower religiosity. o What should we do about these patterns? •Perhaps we need to start thinking about marriage education more systematically, especially for more vulnerable members. •Perhaps religious first aid needs to be applied when our relationships are strained.
List another type of love with a few descriptors.
Philia-Companionate or Friendship Agape-Divine Love or Charity EROS-Passionate or Romantic Love
Self Determination Theory (SDT) Ryan and Deci
Self-determination theory suggests that people are motivated to grow and change by three innate and universal psychological needs. This theory suggests that people are able to become self-determined when their needs for competence, relatedness, and autonomy are fulfilled. More Wholistic Theory Than Love •Three essential principles (Autonomy, Competence and Relatedness)
How have these changes influenced the appropriate pace needed to develop intimacy?
Speed is the preference of all modern technology Speed kills!
Cohabitation Effect
The experience of cohabitation injures the relationship in ways that undermine marital success −Attitudes, beliefs, values are changed through the cohabitation experience −Results in less commitment to relationship, more negative interactions, etc. −More recent support for this hypothesis, less for selection
Post Unlimited Love Reading
The three things Post means by "unlimited love" 1) Love for all humanity & for all that is 2) A hidden reality/energy that underlies all that is good in the universe 3) God's love for us all (we can identify w/God's love) "The essence of love is to affectively affirm & to greatly delight in the wellbeing of others; the essence of unlimited love is to extend this form of love to all others in an enduring, intense, effective, and pure manner"
Changes for the Pathway Into Marriage
Things have switched.
The Critical Point
This is the moment the couple collapses or builds :)
Modern Thinking Distorts the Unity of the two needs with Either/Or Thinking
This means that society says you can have either love of freedom. Not other option. humor shows this... "Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die."
According to Lewis, Eros can be a healthy seed of marriage.
True
Hawkins Reading
What was covered in class plus what is below... Three Part Faust Test for Divorce: 1. Prolonged difficulties - a lengthy period of time to attempt to repair or reduce serious problems 2. Apparently irredeemable relationship - there appears to be little hope for repairing the marital relationship 3. Destruction of human dignity - marital problems have become serious enough over a period of time that an individual begins to lose his or her sense of worth
Distortions of the Need to Become
When it interferes with autonomy -Competition -Dominance & Violence -Conceit -Endless Comparison
Distortions of the Need to Belong
When it interferes with autonomy -Lead to clinginess -Lack of individuality -Inability to separate when necessary for survival
Both/And Thinking of the two needs
You can have both and achieve balance!
Inertia Theory
an object in rest wants to remain in rest. If something is in motion, it is harder to stop it.
Love is insufficient...
as a full explanation for why people marry as a full explanation for why people stay married
Love is sufficient...
as a full explanation for why people stay happily married. Which type? Eros, Philia, Agape? Depends on the person and the culture
The need to __________ is the foundation for all types of love.
belong
Outcomes of This Unique Dance
o More relationally oriented attitudes, decisions, and behaviors o Similar levels of individual characteristics and qualities
Betrothal
to make a pledge to unite in wedlock with a partner.
Marriage is the one thing that....
would significantly enhance your immune system and improve your health. would result in your increased safety from injury, abuse, and recklessness. would result in your chances of experiencing sexual satisfaction throughout your life. would dramatically increase your children's chances of experiencing happiness, social stability, and academic success would result in significantly increasing your chances of mental health and happiness
Third Alarming Trend
ü Childrearing and Marriage are Now Separated: ü Happily Married Parents are the best predictors of well-adjusted children ü In 1950 almost all children, 93% lived in a home with both parents who were married, and almost all of these marriages were "happy." Now @ 60% of children live in that situation. ü In 2012 less than 50% of women under thirty years of age who had children that year were married. ü In 1950 only 7% of children grew up in a single parent home, now @ 45% of children grow up in this situation. ü 71% of African Americans are born to single women ü 66% of Native Americans ü 53% of Hispanics ü 29% of Caucasians ü 19% of Asians
Why don't people know about all these benefits to a happy marriage?
ü Higher divorce rates makes everyone paranoid ü Exclusive focus on love as the reason for marriage ü Anti-marriage biases of those who divorce and are bitter or those who stay single by choice. ü Political Correctness
What might be the effects of separating sex from marriage?
ü More STIs, almost half of sexually active people have one. ü Individuals weaken their commitment to one life-long partner ü The marital bond may be weakened because the partner is compared to previous experiences ü Reduction in the importance of the marriage partner because fewer behaviors are exclusive with that individual. ü Individuals learn better how to end a relationship so it is easier the next time. ü A weakening in religious values and religious participation. ü An increase in the likelihood that individuals will become individually, recreationally oriented in their sexual behaviors. ü A decrease in the attitudes of children toward the exclusivity of sexuality and its connection to marriage. ü More children born and raised out of wedlock-see following slides.
Reasons marriage helps you succeed financially
ü More stable people marry ü Economies of Scale- 2 live cheaper than 1 ü Specialization ü Men are more productive when married- earn between 20-40% more than single men with similar education and jobs ü Work and government bonuses to married couples ü Better help from extended families & friends- 2 sets of parents ü Divorce and Child Poverty. 41% of First Marriages Divorce. ü Each divorce costs the individuals on average about $15 K each, but.. ü It costs the state and federal govt. approximately $30,000 ü Equates to more than $100 billion each year.
First Alarming Trend Undermining Marriage
ü Percentages of adults between 18-34 who are single is at a record high 51%. ü This is a dramatic increase of 46% since 1985. ü Percentages of adults between 35-44 who are single is at 35%, which is an increase of 50% since 1985. ü Some say this is a positive trend because only those in good marriages are getting or staying married ü Data indicates otherwise- % of couples who report they are happily married has experienced a slow decline for the last 25 years, though it has recently stabilized. Now it is 20% lower than it was in 1990. Only 35% of marriages now report that they are happy and stable.
Second Alarming Trend
ü Sexuality and Marriage are now separated. ü What is the purpose of sexuality? ü Previously it was to conceive children and to connect to a partner in a committed relationship, both of these reasons were relationally oriented
Step Families
ü Stepfamilies have dramatically increased- children fare no better in these homes than in single parent homes ü 40% of children are now growing up in a separate home from their biological fathers ü Americans increasingly view marriage and child-rearing as separate endeavors ü The majority of youth today do not believe that those who have a child together should be married ü The majority of youth today say that having a child without getting married is a perfectly acceptable arrangement. Exclusive focus on love as the reason for marriage
three groups of people in terms of sexual relationships
ü Those who have sex to fulfill an individual need about 25-30% ü Those who have sex because they love their partner 50-60% ü Those who want to have sex only within a committed marriage 10-25% ü All but the last group have sex quite early in their relationship. The first group before 1 month into the relationship and often on the first meeting, the second group before three months into the relationship. Even many of the last group don't abstain all the way to marriage, but some estimate the majority wait until they are engaged, as has been the case throughout history.
Children in Cohabiting Unions
•44% of never-married cohabitors have children in the home •60% of previously-married cohabitors have children in the home •70% of these children are biologically-linked to only one adult in the home
Summary of Generational Changes
•Clear Steps/No Clear Steps •Involvement of Family in Courtship/Couple only •Connection between high school and college relationships & marriage/Little connection now •Sex meant there was a relationship/Sex means fun •Sex in marriage or right before/Sex from the start •Males DTR by asking fathers/Females-DTR •Cohabitation was abnormal/Cohabitation is normal •Hanging out not invented/Hanging out common
Philia
•Companionate •Friendship •Like Minded •Mutual
Three Risks to Children in Cohabiting Situations
•Economic −Cohabiting households tend to have lower income; increased risk for poverty, economic problems •Structural −Cohabiting households experience more structural transitions; increased likelihood of mental/ emotional/relational difficulties •Abuse −Risk for abuse increases when non-biological adults are in household. Children living in households with non-biological adults are 50% more likely to be abused.
Should there be grounds for divorce? (PROS)
•Keep people from easy divorces •Maintain the idea that marriage is a serious commitment/contract •Sends a message that certain actions are unacceptable •Provides a way for court to intervene to try and save marriage
Seven ways to make divorce highly unlikely without even treating your partner better!
•Make a better income-30% reduction •Have children, but make sure the first child is born eight months or more after marriage-25% reduction •Marry over 25 years of age-24% reduction •Family of origin intact-14% reduction •Religious Affiliation-14% reduction •College Education-27% reduction •Temple marriage-35% reduction
Most couples consider cohabitation a viable test of marriage. Is it?
•No data support this assumption •Most data indicate the risk of divorce is 2-4 times higher
Eros
•Passionate or Romantic Love •Infatuation/Attraction •Connected to sexual desire but not synonymous with lust •Not necessarily mutual
Should there be grounds for divorce? (CONS)
•People lie about what happened to establish causes •Some people become trapped in abusive situations •Most causes are very difficult to prove •Those in power determine causes •Encourages the involvement of lawyers in marriage
Selection Effect
•Those who select cohabitation have preexisting qualities that undermine marital success −Less religious, less conservative, & less educated −Parental Divorce or High Conflict Marriage −Fatherless −Personal Divorce −Less likely to see marriage as important or have it as a goal −Research suggests selection effect does occur, but not with the strength or frequency to account for most differences
Agape
•Unlimited •Divine-Not Unconditional •Charity •Compassion
Other effects of high divorce rates
−Are children better off in a family where parents are dissatisfied with their marriage or where there was a divorce? •Only 25% of divorces occur from marriages that are so conflictual that the children would be better off after divorce. −How does divorce affect your attitudes? •Hearts & Hammers •The Expectation/Paranoia/Anxiety of Relational Failure
What has changed in divorces? (Amato)
−Divorce was relatively uncommon −Was based on cause or grounds •Primary cause was adultery •Followed by some form of cruelty •Primary cause now is nothing (no-fault) or dissatisfaction (irreconcilable differences) •Easiest Legal Contract to Void −No cause needed −No time limit −No real legal implications −Was commonly denied by courts −Had numerous social punishments •Losing right to remarry •Socially ostracized •Assumption of Immorality •Usually more social punishment for person "at fault" •Fiscal punishments still exist but less now
What caused the changes in divorce?
−Easing of Divorce laws has only caused small amount of change in divorce rates •Laws were relaxed primarily because of high demand on courts
•Cohabitation:
−Most dramatic change in pathway into marriage − 1200 percent increase in numbers of couples in last 4 decades −Previously considered deviant/Now normative •More than 75% of couples cohabit prior to marriage
Purposeful Delayers
−Move in together between 1 and 4 years of start of relationship −Casual involvement early on, weekends, etc. −Relationship processes more deliberate; discussions, plans, etc. −Want sign of commitment before moving in
Accelerated Cohabitors
−Move in within 6 months of starting relationship −Very Passionate/Sexual −Large amounts of time spent together-5 or more nights −Lower age of partners −Many report it was too soon
Tentative Cohabitors
−Move in within 7-12 months of starting relationship −Less time spent together 3-4 four nights per week −Often interruptions in the relationship −Unsure about cohabitation −Cohabitation not planned or expected −Usually no previous cohabitation experience
Hookups
−Outside of BYU it usually involves sex of one type or another. Almost always includes alcohol −Initially Male Decides if Anything Else Happens. Outside of BYU Female Often Initiates DTR.
Where do most people in your generation meet their future spouses?
−Ratio of Men to Women in College has dropped from 2/1 to .70/1. •2009 was the first year for people under 45 where more women than men had a college degree. −Most women still enter college hoping to find their future spouse.
What has not changed in divorces? (Amato)
−Women initiate most divorces-Why? −Couples with no children are more likely to divorce −Couples in the early years of marriage have higher divorce rates −When women have better economic opportunities divorce increases −Divorce is expensive −Women come out of divorce worse: •Poorer •Less chance of remarriage