Parenting Final Review--Learn

Most Prevalent (What is the most prevalent developmental disorder of childhood?)

(Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder [ADHD

Common Signs (What are some common signs of expressing contempt?)

(Insults and name calling, hostile humor, mockery, and body language)

Separation (What separates contempt from criticism?)

(The intention to insult and psychologically abuse your partner

Partnerships (How does Berk say (a) teacher-parent and (b) teacher-school partnerships are formed?)

([a] Parents and teachers communicate often, keeping each other informed of children's reactions and progress at home and at school. Teachers suggest ways that parents can foster children's learning. They invite parents to visit and participate in their child's classroom. [b] Teachers need support and scaffolding to carry out the complex tasks of effective teaching and to become more expert at their work. Administrators, education specialists, and teachers join forces

New Perspective (How can we gain a more powerful new perspective in areas of the growth of social understanding and social competence, in research on family influences on adjustment, on the nature and individual differences in peer relations, and on the role of genetics in the development of individual differences? )

By including full, half, and step-siblings in future research

Best Style (According to the author, which of the three styles is best for a marriage's future? )

His research suggests all three are equally stable and bode equally well for the marriage's future.

ADHD Origin (According to research, what is the origin of ADHD?)

Research indicates that heredity plays a major role in ADHD.

Impact (What impact does the play environment have on the maturity and diversity of themes in children's make-believe play?)

When playthings are short in supply, preschoolers' conflicts increase; the arrangement of play areas reinforces gender distinctions; play spaces often promote attitudes and practices of the surrounding culture

Stonewalling (What does stonewalling convey?)

(Disapproval, icy distance, and smugness.

Emotional Ecology (What appears to be the key dynamic in what amounts to the emotional ecology of every marriage?)

(The balance between negativity and positivity

Goal (What is the major goal of intervention with ADHD children?)

(The main goal should be to repair damaged bonds with adults, especially parents, thereby paving the way for successful, fulfilling adult-child dialogues which are crucial to development.

Freud Make Believe (How did Freud regard make-believe play?)

A form of pleasurable wish fulfillment that allows children to act out uncertainties, anxieties, and hoped-for outcomes

Indirect Effects (What two sets of evidence indicate indirect effects involving siblings?)

Differential parent-child relationships and the impact of the arrival of a sibling

Mixed Age Classroom (What are the benefits of belonging to a mixed-age classroom? )

Mixed-age grouping expands the heterogeneity of children in the same class, creating conditions that support Vygotsky's vision of more competent children spurring the development of their less advanced peers. Among preschoolers, the play of younger children is more cognitively and socially advanced; self esteem and attitudes toward school are more positive, and older children practice nurturing and helpgiving—important life skills.)

Piaget Advance (Does make-believe play advance children's development according to Piaget? Why or why not? )

Piaget was convinced that by itself, make-believe play does little to advance children's development. Rather, children merely exercise playfully the symbols they have acquired in other contexts.

One Lesson (What is the one lesson that the author has learned from his research into marital relationships?)

That a lasting marriage results from a couple's ability to resolve conflicts that are inevitable in any relationship

Major Language (Many hearing parents worry that a child who acquires sign language as his or her native language will remain isolated from the larger world of hearing people. Should lip reading and speaking rather than signing be the deaf child's major language?)

The answer is not which system the deaf child should acquire but which one should be given priority as the child's first language

Sensory Deficit Communication (How can children with sensory deficits meet their burning desire to communicate? )

(By establishing alternative avenues for social connection, such as Braille or sign language

ADHD Difficulties (What difficulties do children with ADHD experience?)

(Poorly regulated behavior is biologically based, central to the disorder, and often lifelong, causing grave relationship difficulties and placing the child at risk for school failure, antisocial behavior, unintentional injuries, and vocational and marital problems in adulthood.

ADHD Symptoms (What are the symptoms of ADHD?)

(Symptoms include: great difficulty sustaining attention; inability to stay focused on a task or play activity that requires mental effort for more than a few minutes; constant attraction to nearby stimulating, low-effort activities that seem like more fun; often impulsive; ignore social rules; interrupt others; lash out with hostility when frustrated; excessive motor activity; tendency to run, climb, and play in inappropriate situations; constantly talk and make sounds; fidget and tap their pencils; shake their legs; manipulate objects unrelated to the task at hand.

How many (Statistically speaking, how many American school-age children have ADHD? )

About 2 million American school-age children have ADHD. On average, one or two in every elementary school classroom

Skills (Which diverse array of specific cognitive and social skills does Berk name as contributors to overcoming impulsive action and acquiring and enacting the rules of social life?)

Attention, memory, language and literacy, hypothetical reasoning, distinguishing appearance from reality, understanding the mind and its many activities, self-regulation, and imagination and creativity

Erikson Make Believe (How did Erikson regard make-believe play?)

Children draw on fantasy play to find out about themselves and their social world.

Consequence (According to Vygotsky, what is the most debilitating consequence of a physical or mental disability?)

The most debilitating consequence is its implications for the child's participation in culturally meaningful activities

Blind Education (According to Vygotsky, how should the education of a blind child be organized?)

"The education of a blind child must be organized on the same terms as the education of any child capable of normal development. ...The main source from which this development draws its contents is the same for both—language.")

Changing Needs (What are the changing needs for make-believe and game materials from toddlerhood into the primary grades?)

(15 months-2 years: a small selection of realistic-looking toys to support their beginning capacity to pretend; 2-3 years: a wider array of make-believe materials; 3-5 years: increasingly varied and flexible props, books and videos, play scenes, games; 6-8 years: basic strategy games and objects to create replicas of the world around them

Defensiveness (What are the signs of defensiveness?)

(Denying responsibility, making excuses, disagreeing with negative mind-reading, cross-complaining, and repeating yourself

Developmental Change (How does developmental change impact the sibling relationship?)

(During the preschool years, the younger siblings—in a dyad—play an increasingly active role in the relationship, as their powers of understanding and communicative skills develop. They begin to imitate more games, and their ability to cooperate makes them more interesting companions in play for their older siblings. However, changes in the balance of power between siblings appear as they reach middle childhood, thus, the relationship becomes more egalitarian. During adolescence, there tends to be a decrease in the warmth that siblings feel and express toward each other

Physical Context (Why does Berk say that the physical context of children's play is important? )

(It shapes play themes and opportunities to interact with agemates. It can have a profound impact on what children learn.

Piaget Make Believe (What is Piaget best known for in regard to make-believe play?)

(Piaget is best known for stressing the symbolic nature of make-believe.

Adapt Communication (In order to adapt communication so that it helps a peer partner, what three things must a teacher do?)

(Teachers must model effective dialogue, help children verbalize their thinking, and encourage them to comprehend, respect, and build on their classmates' ideas and opinions.)

Social Functions (What six social functions and consequences of adult-child play does Berk list? )

(Teaching, enlivening daily routines, diffusing conflict, expressing and regulating emotion, influencing another's social behavior, and having fun.

Freud Reverse Roles (Why do young children reverse roles in make-believe play?)

(Young children reverse roles so that the child is in command and can compensate for unpleasant happenings

Distinctive Features (What are the two distinctive features of make-believe play that distinguish it from other childhood activities?)

([1] The creation of imaginary situations in play helps children separate internal ideas from the objects and events for which they stand, and [2] make-believe play is rule-based. It is inspired by experiences in their families and communities, and children continually devise and follow social rules in imaginary situations

Self Control (How does make-believe play help preschoolers acquire and enact the rules of social life? )

According to Vygotsky, children's greatest self-control occurs during make-believe play. They achieve their maximum display of willpower when, at their own initiative, they renounce a momentary attraction in favor of rule-governed behavior

Parent Play (According to Berk, how should parents, caregivers, and teachers go about engaging young children in make-believe play?)

Adult participation in make-believe play works best when it responds to, guides, and builds on the child's behaviors with demonstrations and suggestions

Lack of Consistency (How can the lack of consistency across sibling and peer relationships be interpreted?)

Compensatory mechanisms could be invoked and/or the experiences of conflict and competitive interactions with siblings may foster children's capacities in social understanding.)

Influence (What does Berk say influences the ease with which children engage in cooperative learning? )

Cultural values and practices.

Dynamic Assessment (What is dynamic assessment and what is its goal? )

Dynamic assessment is a general, ongoing assessment approach that introduces purposeful teaching into testing situations. The goal of this type of assessment is to find out what the child can attain with scaffolding

Extended Projects (What are extended projects, what topics should they address, and how should they be addressed? )

Extended projects are in-depth studies of special topics. Always address a topic related to children's everyday experiences, allowing for integration of a range of subject areas, and involve the children in the "fieldwork.")

Evolution (How did Vygotsky describe the evolution of play?)

From make-believe play to organized games with rules

Validator (What descriptor does Gottman use for "validator" couples?)

In the midst of disagreement they still let their partners know that they consider his/her emotions valid, even if they don't agree with them.)

Childbirth Information (I'm expecting a new baby. How much is too much information for a 4-year-old about pregnancy and childbirth? )

It's easy to tell preschool and young school-age children too much about pregnancy and childbirth—more than they are capable of understanding. The best approach is to respond to their questions with simple, direct answers. Eight-to 9-year-olds are ready for more detailed knowledge about how babies are conceived and grow, as children of this age are getting closer to puberty.

Piaget Cognitive Advancement (What cognitive advancement do young children strengthen through pretending?)

Pretending is a vital means of mentally representing the child's world. This skill, along with gestures, language, and drawings, develops rapidly in early childhood

Parallel Changes (What parallel changes in the interactions between the "displaced" older sibling and his parents correlate with changes in children's adjustment that follow the arrival of a sibling?)

There is a notable increase in critical negative behavior from mothers, an increase in demanding difficult firstborn behavior to mothers, and a decrease in positive joint activities shared by parents and firstborn

ADHD Diagnosis (In order to diagnose ADHD, what factors must be taken into account?)

These symptoms of inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity must have appeared before age 7—they must have emerged as an early and persistent problem. They must also be pervasive—evident in at least two settings, such as home and school—and contribute to academic and social difficulties. Also, the child's disorganized behavior must be inconsistent with his or her age

Sign Language Benefits (What benefits do deaf children reap when they are fluent in signing and later master the spoken code?)

They are able to form ties with both deaf and hearing communities, and at the same time they become bilingual

Community of learners (What is the basic assumption of the community-of-learners model? Who is considered a "learner"? )

This model assumes that each person has a different area of expertise that can help other community members, depending on the task at hand. Both adults and children are regarded as learners—all collaborate and develop in their respective roles

Erikson Reverse Roles (Why do young children reverse roles in make-believe play? )

Through observing and emulating admired adult figures, preschoolers internalize social norms and gain a sense of their future, of what they can become, and of how they can contribute to society

Safeguard (How might we safeguard children's learning and enthusiasm according to Berk? )

To safeguard children's learning and enthusiasm, make-believe play rather than organized sports is best for preschoolers. When children are ready for game play, permitting them to select sports they enjoy, to progress at their own pace, and to participate in decisions about team rules preserves cooperation, fair play, and willingness to follow social rules

Play Materials (What should play materials capitalize on?)

Toys and other props should capitalize on children's current make-believe capacities while gently spurring children forward, toward a wider range of themes, roles, characters, and increasingly intricate story lines

Impulsive Action (How does make-believe play help preschoolers overcome impulsive action?)

Vygotsky claims that make-believe play helps preschoolers conquer their impulses by granting the child repeated practice "in acting independently of what he sees."

Vygotsky Make Believe (How did Vygotsky view make-believe play? What did Vygotsky mean when he said that make believe play creates a "zone" in which the child is "a head taller than himself")

Vygotsky viewed make-believe play as crucial in children's learning. Vygotsky meant that play provides the roles, rules, and scenarios that enable children to concentrate at a much higher level than they typically do in non-pretend contexts.

New Toy Questions (What three questions does Berk suggest parents consider when deciding to purchase a new toy for their child? )

What activities will this toy inspire? What values will the activities teach? What social rules will my child learn to follow?)

Strategies (What three suggestions does Berk make that can help parents and teachers select strategies that foster more mature social behavior? )

[1] Intervene soon enough to prevent peer difficulties from escalating, thereby avoiding highly intrusive intervention tactics; [2] focus on developing the skills of each child, not just on quelling disturbances; and [3] think in terms of the support that is necessary, without taking over social responsibilities that children can assume on their own

Other Disorders (What other disorders do half of diagnosed ADHD children also show symptoms of?)

oppositionaldefiant disorder [ODD] and conduct disorder [CD]

Problem Solving Styles (What are the three different styles of problem solving into which healthy marriages tend to settle? Define each of them. )

( [1] Validating: couples compromise often and calmly work out their problems to mutual satisfaction as they arise; [2] volatile: conflict erupts often, resulting in passionate disputes; [3] conflict avoiding: couples agree to disagree, rarely confronting their differences head-on.

Magic Ratio (What is the "magic ratio" of positive to negative that likely results in a stable marriage over time?)

(5 to 1—five times as much positive feeling and interaction as there is negative.

Separation (What really separates contented couples from those in deep marital misery?)

(A healthy balance between their positive and negative feelings and actions toward each other.

Literacy Activities (How are children empowered by an abundance of literacy activities?)

(As children become more skilled at and talk about reading, writing, math, and other forms of notation, they develop the capacity to consciously manipulate and control the symbol systems of their culture. This makes them much better communicators—with others and themselves.)

Adult Involvement in Blind Play (How involved are adults in sociodramatic play between blind children and their peers?)

(Because blind children often lack the manipulative, language, and social skills to participate in such play, parents and teachers need to provide assistance so that sighted playmates do not become frustrated and stop playing

Improve Situation (Although many deficits and disabilities cannot be overcome, how are parents more likely to improve their child's situation?)

(By providing the child with valuable social experiences.)

Inspired Classrooms (What do children spend much of their time doing in Vygotsky-inspired classrooms, according to Berk?)

(Children spend much time engaged in joint activities with classmates, who assist them in mastering tasks within their "zones."

Two Domains (Which two particular domains of development have been studied in relation to children's experiences with their siblings?)

(Children's ability to adjust and their social understanding

Zone Activities (Describe the type of activities that create "zones"?)

(Collaboration and dialogue primarily; whole class activities, secondary.)

Blind Awareness Techniques (What are some of the different techniques used to help blind babies become aware of their physical and social surroundings? How are they used?)

(Combining touch and sound to create heightened sensory input helps blind babies. For example, the parent can hold, touch, and bring the baby's hands to his or her face while talking or singing. Parents may also help by encouraging manipulation of objects that make sounds. In addition, parents must take special care to talk about objects the child is attending to in appropriately descriptive ways. Another technique would be to use many repetitions and consistently respond to the child's efforts to make physical and social contac

Two Deficits (What are the two deficits that hinder children with disabilities from being integrated into social life to the fullest extent possible?)

(First, the disability itself; and second, a cultural deficit—their ability to learn the culturally valued ways of thinking and behaving is impaired.)

Factors (Which factors does John Gottman look at to classify a marriage?)

(Frequency of fights, the facial expressions and physiological responses of both partners during their confrontations, what they say to each other, and in what tone of voice they interact verbally

Difference (Why should some siblings get along so well and be important sources of support and comfort for one another, while others are so hostile? )

(In addition to the family constellation variables, the personality characteristics of individual children, the quality of relationships within the family, and the social adversities or risks faced by the family all play an important role in individual differences in sibling relationships

Classroom Dialogue (In what way does classroom dialogue differ from everyday conversation? )

(In settings where learning is the primary goal of everything that happens, language serves not just as a means of communication but also as an object of reflection

More Inner States (What evidence is there that young preschool children with siblings have more sophisticated inner states and social behaviors? )

(In the context of the emotional drama and the familiarity of interactions with siblings, they reveal remarkable powers of manipulating others' emotions, of anticipating intentions, and of understanding the significance of inner states for human action. Their ability to tease, deceive, manage conflict by anticipating the other's intentions and perspective, share an imaginative work in joint pretend play, and engage in conversations about why people behave the way they do, with reference to mental states as causes and consequences of action, reflect a growing sophistication about inner states and social behavior

Sibling Birth (What has the birth of a sibling been consistently linked to? )

(Increased problems of adjustment in firstborn children, disturbance in bodily functions, withdrawal, aggressiveness, dependency, and anxiety

Effective Invervention (According to research, what is the most effective intervention approach for children with ADHD? )

(Intervention is multifaceted. Pediatricians and psychologists can try to modify children's deficient impulse control directly, through medication therapy and through changing aspects of their environments to better suit their limited attention spans and high need for activity. At the same time, adults must work to transform their negative, intrusive reactions to the child's impulsive style—a goal far easier to attain once the child's extreme behavior is reduced

Support (How are siblings viewed as a source of support? )

(It seems that both offering comfort to and receiving comfort from a sibling are associated with benefits for children. For example, children growing up in disharmonious homes have fewer problems if they have a good sibling relationship

Make Believe Play (What hampers blind children in make-believe play? How can this obstacle be overcome? )

(Makebelieve play is hampered by delays in other areas, including motor skills, general knowledge, and language. It can be overcome by adult involvement in play. This must extend well beyond the age at which sighted children have turned toward play with peers. Rich and varied opportunities for adult-supported play can help overcome blind children's restricted experiences

Themes (Which three interrelated themes are applications of sociocultural theory mentioned by Berk? )

(Teaching in the "zone," classrooms rich with dialogue, and abundant literacy activities.)

Family Experiences (In which ways do family experiences influence individual development?)

(The aspects of family life that have been seen as key influences on children's development, such as mothers' and fathers' educational and occupational level, parents' mental health and the quality of their spousal relationship, the neighborhood in which the family lives, and the social adversities faced by the family are all shared by siblings. Yet, experiences within the family differ markedly for siblings due to differences in personality, adjustment, and psychopathology, and are key to their developmental differences

Discipline Outcome (What outcome was presented for a preschool-aged sibling when both the mother and father disciplined him more than his younger sibling?)

(The preschool aged sibling showed more internalizing and externalizing symptoms

Parents (How far and in what ways are individual differences in sibling relationships linked to the children's relationships with their parents or to the quality of the parents' own relationships with each other?)

(There is evidence that the security of young children's attachments to their parents is correlated with individual differences in the quality of later sibling relationships. Other evidence indicates that intense, supportive sibling relationships can develop in families in which the parent-child relationships are distant or uninvolved. There is also consistent evidence that more conflicted, hostile sibling relationships are associated with differential relations between parents and their various children. Finally, changes in parent-child relationships that accompany the arrival of a new sibling are linked to the quality of the relationship that develops between the siblings

Rationale (What convincing rationale does Vygotsky's theory provide for parents and teachers of disabled children)

(To form strong, supportive, trustful relationships

First Step (What is the first step toward breaking out of defensiveness?)

(To no longer see your partner's words as an attack but as information that is being strongly expressed

Hands (When do blind children become proficient at investigating objects with their hands?)

(Usually not until 4 to 6 years of age.)

Teaching (In this chapter, Berk describes Vygotsky's views of teaching and learning. What benefits are gained from teaching in the "zone"? What is the "zone"?)

(Vygotsky argued that teaching in the "zone" leads to new knowledge and skills; it permits children to attain new heights in selfregulation. The "zone" is the range of tasks that the child cannot yet master independently but can accomplish by collaborating with more expert partners

Teratogens (Which teratogens are linked to ADHD? )

(maternal use of illegal drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes during pregnancy

Comparison (Compare the communication of deaf children of deaf parents with deaf children of hearing parents)

(pp. 157-159 in Berk text

Devastation (What effect did Vygotsky observe that was more devastating to the child than the original defect?)

(the consequences for the child's integration into social life

Homework (My first grader has homework to do several times a week. Should I help her with her homework, and if so, how should I do so?)

American parents often express uncertainty about helping their child with homework. They worry that by providing help, they will discourage self-reliance in thinking and problem solving. Vygotsky's concept of the "zone" underscores that children acquire the many capacities they need to learn autonomously from the assistance of parents, teachers, and other more expert adults. By collaborating with the child on a challenging task, the adult assesses what the child can already do and what the child is ready to learn, providing a support system for mastery. Chinese and Japanese parents spend a great deal of time helping their children with homework—far more than American parents do. Asian parents also communicate often with teachers about how to help their child learn at his or her best. Rather than being dependent, Chinese and Japanese students develop into well adjusted, excellent students51—at the top in academic achievement in the world.

Helen Keller (In considering Helen Keller's story, how did Helen's gifted teacher, Anne, teach Helen?)

Anne insisted that Helen contribute to her own progress. Rather than sitting Helen down for formal instruction, Anne permitted her to move freely among objects that interested her. Most lessons took place outside, largely in the context of play

Criticism (What does criticism involve?)

Attacking someone's personality or character rather than a specific behavior, usually with blame

Activity Centers (According to Berk, how are activity centers best designed? )

Centers are best designed and equipped so limits are not placed on what children can learn from them.)

Acts Out (How can you keep a child's self-esteem high while still praising a sibling's achievements and good behavior? When a child "acts out" because of sibling jealousy, what's the best way to handle it?)

Children display wide individual differences in the quality of their sibling ties. Once again, temperament makes a difference. If parents experience intensifying sibling conflict, they may want to reevaluate their communication with each child. Warmth and frequent expressions of affection are associated with positive sibling interaction, whereas harshness and coldness are associated with sibling antagonism.41 Once established, this link between parent-child and sibling relationships is self-perpetuating. Warm parenting fosters considerate sibling interaction, which prompts positive parental communication in the future. When parents are hostile and coercive, children act similarly toward their siblings, and parental anger escalates. In sum, parents can foster positive sibling ties through expressing warmth and affection, stressing each child's positive qualities and achievements, and refraining from making comparisons. When sibling relationships are friendly and sympathetic, they bring many benefits, including gratifying companionship, emotional support, and assistance with everyday tasks.

Respect by Example (How does a parent gain respect from a child who sees the other parent acting disrespectfully toward his or her spouse?)

Children learn much about how to relate to others by observing their parents' day-to-day communication. Marital conflict is linked to hostile behavior and poor emotional adjustment in children, including feeling sad and engaging in aggressive acts.33 Hearing one or both parents berate the other leads children to act similarly—toward parents, siblings, teachers, and peers. If disrespect between parents includes physical harm, then children's difficulties can escalate further.34 In sum, parents behaving insolently to each other are up against a brick wall in getting a child to behave respectfully. They need to repair their relationship. Seeking the help of a marriage and family counselor without delay is the best way to prevent the child's emotionally despondent and angry reactions from spiraling into lasting adjustment problems.

Toys (How many and what kinds of toys does a young child need? My 3-year-old son is attracted to guns and war toys. How should I handle this type of play?)

Children's rooms and play spaces need not be filled with every toy imaginable. A modest number of toys is sufficient. Children who have too much typically care little for what they have. When given a chance to acquire something new, they usually don't react with much excitement or selectivity. For materially indulged children, new toys are such a common event that a complacent attitude sets in. The child comes to think, if I don't like what I just got, I can always discard it for something else. A bedroom or playroom heaped high with a jumble of toys, many broken and mistreated, also teaches children that possessions need not be cared for and respected. Nevertheless, preference is not the same as appropriateness. Children sometimes choose toys with very limited play possibilities and soon ignore them. Other toys should not be given to children because they encourage undesirable play behaviors. Guns and other forms of weaponry fall into this category. When thinking about purchasing a new toy for your child, ask yourself these questions: • Does my child already have too many toys, and am I adding to this overabundance? • Is the toy responsive to my child's interests, and is it likely to sustain his or her involvement over time? • Do I want my child to acquire the values and skills the toy teaches? • How will the toy help provide a foundation for my child's future learning and development?

Divorce (Is learning and development affected if the father becomes less involved or absent after a divorce?).

Divorce is invariably painful for children, and learning and development can be affected—temporarily and long term.73 Preschool and young school-age children are often profoundly upset. Because they have great difficulty grasping the reasons for their parents' divorce, they may blame themselves and take the marital breakup as a sign that they could be abandoned by both parents. As a result, they may cry and cling, refuse to go to school, and show a drop in enthusiasm for play and learning. Young children need extra affection and reassurance along with gentle reminders that their parents' separation is permanent. Of all age groups, preschoolers are most likely to have trouble accepting the reality of divorce and to fantasize that their parents will get back together.74 Most children improve in adjustment by two years after divorce. Yet for some, emotional distress and poor school performance persist, contributing to lasting problems into adolescence and young adulthood. Adults whose parents divorced during their childhoods tend to do less well in terms of educational, vocational, and economic attainment than their counterparts from stable families.78 Regardless of whether fathers remain salient figures in children's lives, the strongest predictor of good outcomes following divorce is effective parenting—combining warmth with reasonable maturity demands, limiting family conflict, and using consistent, nonpunitive discipline.79 Fathers who remain involved and who use good child-rearing techniques contribute greatly to the psychological well-being of children of both genders, with boys showing special benefits.

Dialogues (Identify and define the two kinds of teacher-child dialogues Berk discusses in this chapter. )

First, reciprocal teaching, which is an interactive teaching method in which a teacher and two to four children form a collaborative learning group and take turns leading a discussion aimed at helping children understand text passages. As group members engage in dialogue, they flexibly apply four strategies: questioning, summarizing, clarifying, and predicting. The second kind of dialogue is inquiry in mathematics, which involves students meeting in small groups to work problems and explain their personally-invented procedures to one another, rather than simply memorizing standard procedures

Gender and Age (What evidence is there for the significance of gender and age gap for individual differences?)

For young children, the findings are inconsistent. During middle childhood, it appears that gender may increase in importance [e.g., boys become increasingly less likely to report warmth and intimacy in their relationships with their siblings]. Among older adults, relationships with sisters appear to be particularly important.

Interventions (What interventions should hearing parents of deaf children likely need to make?)

Hearing parents need extensive coaching and assistance in communicating with a deaf son or daughter from infancy on. Even when their signing fluency remains limited, parents who start to acquire sign language soon after they learn of their child's deafness can become skilled enough to help their child. The more extensive the signing input, the more rapid the child's language progress. Hearing parents must also change some of their communication habits, making sure to sign or speak in the child's visual field and to focus and comment on objects sequentially rather than simultaneously

Computer (My 20-month-old daughter and husband enjoy going to the Public Broadcasting System website. I'm delighted that they spend time together, but the whole computer concept makes me nervous. Already, my daughter bangs on the keys and uses the mouse. How much is too much and how young is too young?)

How much is too much and how young is too young? There's no evidence that computer experiences make toddlers more skilled computer users or thinkers. By kindergarten and primary school, children can gain much from computer activities. As far as how much computer time parents should permit, the answer depends on what children are doing. When they are involved in writing, problem solving, or other educational pursuits, there's no special reason to be very restrictive. But not all software called "educational" is the same quality, so parents are wise to evaluate what their children are learning. Moreover, parents must ensure that time at the computer does not interfere with the variety of experiences children need to learn at their best. And playing violent video games and freely accessing the Internet should be prohibited.

Language (How can a parent identify the difference between a language disorder and normal language development? What resources are available?)

If your child's language development is delayed by several months when compared to norms for early language milestones, then your child might have a language disorder. But keep in mind that children vary greatly in their pace of language learning. For example, girls are slightly ahead of boys in early vocabulary growth, and reserved, cautious children often wait until they understand a great deal before trying to speak.42 When they finally do speak, their vocabularies grow rapidly. When children begin preschool or child care, they are more susceptible to otitis media because of close contact with other children. Therefore, frequent screening for the disease, followed by prompt medical intervention, is vital. Interestingly, verbally stimulating adult-child interaction and high-quality child care help reduce developmental problems associated with otitis media.44 When adults converse often with children and keep environmental noise to a minimum, children with persistent ear infections have more opportunities to hear and respond to spoken language.

Time Out (I don't believe in spanking. We do time outs, which seem to work for our 4-year-old. How long is time out effective, and what's the next step?)

In sum, when time out is combined with reasoning, it remains effective through the school years. You can tell that your approach to discipline is working when time out and other punishments become less necessary as your child shifts from externally controlled responses to behavior based on inner standards and compassion for others. Typically this shift is well under way between ages 4 and 7.24 Three additional ways to avoid excessive punishment are worth mentioning. First, changing aspects of the environment can reduce children's problematic behavior. them. Second, a close look at the reasonableness of the rules can be helpful. Finally, sensitivity to children's physical and emotional resources helps prevent inappropriate punishment.

Factors (What factors are often at the heart of these serious accompanying disorders?)

Maladaptive parenting triggered by the combination of a difficult child, parental traits, and a disrupted home life

Kindergarten (I'm trying to decide whether to enroll my 5-year-old son in kindergarten or wait until next year. How can I tell if he's ready for kindergarten? If he doesn't do well in kindergarten, should he repeat it or go into a "transition" class?)

Many parents struggle with the decision of whether to enroll their child in kindergarten once the child meets the age requirements. Most often, they consider delaying the start of school for boys, who as a group tend to lag behind girls in cognitive and social development. At the heart of parents' concern is whether their child will be able to meet the academic and social demands of the kindergarten classroom. Although many teachers believe that a 5-year-old who's on the young side can benefit from waiting another year before enrolling in kindergarten and advise parents to hold the child out, research has not revealed any advantages for delayed entry. A host of studies indicate that younger children make just as much progress, academically and socially, as do older children enrolled in the same grade. No difference exists between younger and older classmates in achievement test scores.45 Notice that each of the options just mentioned assumes that readiness is inherent in the child—that a 5-year-old must have reached a certain level of development to profit from classroom experiences. Consider, once again, the concept of the "zone," in which teaching leads development. It tells us that children don't just grow into school readiness. Rather, they acquire the knowledge, skills, and attitudes necessary for successfully participating in classroom life through the assistance of others. This means that readiness is not something we must wait for. Instead, we can cultivate it. Parents, teachers, and school systems can work together to ensure that each child takes the next appropriate steps toward mastering the range of capabilities needed for school success. As long as teachers are sensitive to children's diversity and work with small groups and individual children within their "zones," there is no reason to hold a child out of kindergarten. Deciding not to enroll a child and opting for an alternative experience is justifiable only when the kindergarten environment is so rigid and unaccommodating to individual differences that the child would be frustrated and unhappy and would have an unproductive year.

Conflict Avoiding (What descriptors does Gottman use for "conflict-avoiding" couples?)

Not much seems to happen in this type of marriage. They make light of their differences rather than resolving them. This type of couple flies in the face of conventional wisdom that links marital stability to skillfully talking things out.

Television (How much television and what kinds of programs should I permit my preschool child to watch?)

Parents are wise to limit children's access to TV to about one to one-and-a-half hours a day—no more than 10 hours a week. Following that guideline would cut the exorbitant number of hours children spend watching TV by 50 to 75 percent. Parents also need to prohibit violent TV and orient children toward educational programs that inform them about their world and toward entertainment shows that teach positive values and social skills. In Chapter 2, I explained how readily children can pick up negative attitudes and behaviors from television. Fortunately, children can just as easily absorb worthwhile messages and information from TV, so parental guidance in this area can have great benefits for development. In Chapter 2, I also noted that it is crucial for parents to model good viewing practices; to watch TV with children, helping them understand and evaluate what they see; and to use televised content as inspiration for make-believe play and other enriching activities. Another suggestion: Try not to use television to reward or punish children. This increases its attractiveness, making children want to watch all the more.

Inactive Child (How can you get an inactive child who loves quiet play to be more active and sociable?)

Parents of quiet children often wonder whether their youngster is developing normally. Preschoolers whose play and behavior are typically mature for their age but who prefer solitary, tranquil activities are probably doing just fine, both cognitively and socially. As I indicated in Chapter 3, only certain kinds of nonsocial activity—aimless wandering; immature, repetitive motor action; and anxious hovering around peers without joining in their play—are cause for concern.29 Most play of quiet preschoolers is not of this kind. Instead, it is positive and constructive, consisting of such activities as art, make-believe play, puzzles, and block-building. Nevertheless, you might want to encourage a quiet, inactive child to engage in active play from time to time—to ensure healthy exercise and to broaden the child's experiences. The best way to do this is to join the child in active games, such as tag, relay races, hide-and-seek, and throwing and catching. Creating a "zone" for learning—by ensuring that active play is fun, provides plenty of opportunity to practice physical skills, and is not overstimulating for the quiet child—will increase the success of these efforts. You won't be able to transform a quiet child into a physical dynamo, but you can help the child learn to enjoy moderate physical activity. Finally, parents of quiet children may be gratified to learn that a calm, less active nature typically makes a child easier to rear.

Reading (Why do boys lag behind girls in reading and writing in primary school? Do they catch up later?)

Part of the reason for girls'advantage in literacy development is that they undergo a faster rate of physical maturation, believed to promote slightly earlier development of the left hemisphere of the cerebral cortex, where language functions are housed for most people. 66 In addition, many types of developmental problems are more common among boys, including speech and language disorders, reading disabilities, and inattention and hyperactivity. Boys' and girls' differing genetic makeups probably underlie these gender differences, which affect reading and writing performance. Although more evidence is needed to be sure, perhaps classrooms that create "zones" for learning, with many of the features I described in Chapter 6, spark sufficient enthusiasm for literacy pursuits among boys that they reduce the well-known gender gap in reading and writing achievement. Finally, the trend for boys to learn to read more slowly than girls is less pronounced in countries where reading is not stereotyped as feminine but regarded as well suited to the masculine gender role.72 .

Inherit (Exactly what might individuals with ADHD inherit?)

Problems in brain functioning underlie this disorder. Several genes that affect neurotransmitters and hormone levels have been implicated in ADHD. The disorder is also linked to reduced electrical activity and blood flow in the frontal lobes of the cerebral cortex. Children with ADHD have a smaller corpus callosum. The cerebellum is also smaller in ADHD children

Quality (What evidence is presented for the impact of associations between the quality of siblings' relationships and children's ability to adjust? )

There are associations between the quality of siblings' relationships and both internalizing and externalizing behavior found contemporaneously and over time

Continuity (Do the striking individual differences in sibling relationships—evident in early childhood—show continuity over time? Explain)

There is evidence for considerable stability in children's behavior and feelings toward their siblings, particularly for the older siblings during the period from 5 years to 12-13 years of age. However, many sibling pairs also changed in the relative friendliness or hostility that they felt toward each other, depending on a variety of life events

Volatile (What descriptors does Gottman use for "volatile" couples?)

These couples see themselves as equals. They are independent sorts who believe that marriage should emphasize and strengthen their individuality. They are open with each other about their feelings—both positive and negative. These marriages tend to be passionate and exciting.

Only Child (Any tips on raising an only child?)

The best way for parents to ensure that only children fare well is to engage them in development-enhancing dialogues, to impose reasonable expectations for mature behavior, and to discipline effectively. Overall, parents of only children are quite successful in attaining these child-rearing goals. Contrary to popular belief, only children are not destined to become spoiled and selfish. Instead, research consistently shows that they are as well adjusted and as socially competent as other children. And they form just as close and as rewarding friendships as do children with siblings, suggesting that they can and do learn to share and to be considerate of others' needs. Furthermore, only children have a more positive sense of self-esteem and do better in school than do children growing up in families with two or more children.37 A major reason for these positive outcomes is that having just one child generally means a closer parent-child relationship; more time for high-quality parent-child interaction; and greater encouragement for mastery and accomplishment.38 But because only children lose the lifelong benefits of positive sibling ties, parents might take steps to enrich the child's life with sibling-like relationships—for example, by cultivating warm bonds with cousins or the children of close family friends. In sum, with good parenting, only children fare extremely well.

Blind Deficits (What deficits are blind children at risk for? What can parents and teachers do to help?)

They are at risk for severe deficits in everyday physical and social experiences. Parents and teachers must ensure that blind children collaborate with adults and peers in a diverse array of culturally valued activities, including self-care and simple chores, problem solving tasks, narrative conversation, storybook reading, physical, imaginative, and game play, and "hands-on," richly narrated excursions in the neighborhood and community.)

Characteristics (What are personality and temperamental characteristics more clearly related to? Why?)

They are more clearly related to conflict in the sibling relationship rather than in the positive aspects of the relationship possibly due to problems of measuring the positive features, which tend to be less evident when parents are present, whereas conflict between siblings is all too evident.

End of Line (Are the "four horsemen" the end of the line? Why or why not?)

They are not. It is only after they turn a relationship sour that the ultimate danger arises and only if your inner thoughts go unchallenged are you likely to topple down the final marital cascade. If you learn to recognize what is happening to your marriage, you can still develop the tools you need to regain control of it.

ADHD Benefits (What experiences do children with ADHD benefit from?)

They benefit from the same family and school experiences that foster higher forms of thinking and culturally valued attitudes and skills in all children

Resemblance (How do unhappy marriages resemble each other?)

They follow the same, specific downward spiral before coming to a sad end.)

Telltale Sign (What is a telltale sign that you've slipped from complaining to criticizing?)

Using global phrases like "you never" or "you always"

Tantrum (What's the best way to deal with repeated tantrums in a 3-year-old child who gets so enraged that he hits and throws things at you? How can you calm a preschooler when the situation requires him to listen and pay attention?).

When a tantrum occurs, time out is useful—transferring the child to an unstimulating area where he can't throw things until the emotional storm is over. If he tries to throw anything or to hit you, you need to prevent him from doing so, gently but firmly. It's crucial to remain calm and to avoid harsh, coercive tactics, which will only fuel the child's rage and poor emotional control. It's also important to figure out why these persistent tantrums are occurring. Make-believe play is an effective context in which preschoolers can practice what to do when frustrated. Parent and child can take turns acting out the "parent" and "child" roles. While playing the "child," the parent can get upset. Then parent and child can come up with ways to help the "child" control intense feelings. Occasionally during make-believe, children send parents clear messages about disciplinary tactics they want and need to quell tantrums.

Self-Esteem (My 7-year-old doesn't think very well of himself. Is poor self-esteem a major cause of learning problems? How can I increase my child's self-esteem? Should I be praising him more?)

When we speak of self-esteem, we refer to the judgments we make of our own worth and the feelings associated with those judgments. People with high self-esteem, although recognizing theirlimitations, are fundamentally satisfied with their characteristics and competencies. Their self-confidence, self-respect, and realistic appraisal of their current skills fortify them in the face of failure, motivating them to try hard to surmount challenges. Rather, to help sustain good outcomes, self-esteem must be earned through commitment, responsibility, and mastery of meaningful skills. Children whose parents combine warmth with reasonable expectations for mature behavior feel especially good about themselves. Warm parenting lets children know that adults believe they can succeed. And firm but appropriate expectations prompt children to strive for attainable goals and to use those goals as reasonable standards against which to evaluate their behavior. Parents who deliver praise not based on real attainment actually undermine their child's development. It does not take long for most children to see through these false compliments and to question their self-worth. For others, this unconditional parental acceptance may contribute to an unrealistic, overly inflated sense of self-esteem, which is also linked to adjustment problems. Instead, parents can foster high but realistic self-esteem by asking themselves three crucial questions: • Are the demands I make of my child within his or her "zone"—neither too high nor too low? • Have I forged a warm parent-child relationship so my child is fueled with the desire to meet my expectations? • Have I used firm but encouraging tactics—scaffolding of academic tasks to promote autonomous mastery; narrative conversation about the importance of trying hard to convey strong work-ethic values; and joint participation in routines and duties, such as meal preparation and household chores, to assist in developing responsibility? In sum, the route to favorable self-esteem lies in parents' encouragement of achievement and responsibility. Then children have something worth feeling good about. Praise should be tied to real progress and attainment. Encouraging words are particularly helpful when children are trying their best but gains in performance are hard won. And most children greatly appreciate a parent's congratulations for a job well done. Positive self-judgments formed in these ways foster continued effort and mastery, which in turn promote high self-esteem.

Bossy Behavior (Should you try to curb bossy behavior when siblings or peers are playing together? If so, at what age?)

Yes, you should step in and teach alternative, cooperative modes of interaction—at as early an age as you observe bossiness. A child who has trouble engaging in give and take during play with siblings or peers will quickly become embroiled in conflict. When a child uses bossy tactics, interrupt the play and ask the child to think of a better way to get others to cooperate, such as making requests and taking into account the playmate's preferences. If the child can't think of alternatives, suggest and model several. If bossiness continues unabated, insist that the child leave the play area, explaining why he or she must do so. During times when you're alone with the child, talk about problems that have arisen in peer and sibling play and help the child think of good social problem-solving strategies. Then act out these situations in make-believe, granting the child plenty of practice in applying effective social skills and showing the child how others are likely to react if bossy behavior returns.

Cerebral Palsy (I have a child with physical disabilities (cerebral palsy) but who's very smart. Will his intellectual growth continue as long as it's promoted?)

Your child's intellectual growth will definitely continue as long as you and other important adults in his life promote it. All too often, children's disabilities are viewed as entirely biological, much like an incurable disease. Vygotsky's theory emphasizes that the most serious consequence of a physical or mental defect is not the biological impairment itself but the disruption it causes in the child's social relationships. You can help your child compensate for his physical limitations through social contact and communication aimed at strengthening the higher thought processes—voluntary attention, deliberate memory, concept formation, logical reasoning, problem solving, and imagination. "The mightiness of the mind," Vygotsky wrote, "has virtually no limits."81 When cerebral palsy results in speech, hearing, or visual impairments, promoting language proficiency through alternative means is crucial for enhancing development. Parents and teachers who maximize children's communicative capabilities, through sign language, finger spelling, special computer technology, and other symbolic innovations, grant them access to the minds of others and to tools for collaborating with more capable partners in their "zones"—sure routes to realizing their potential.

Common Criticisms (What are the two common types of criticisms mentioned in the article?)

[1] "Kitchen sinking" and [2] accusing your partner of betraying you, of being untrustworthy.

Four Horsemen (What are the four cascades or "Four Horsemen" a couple hit as they tumble down the marital rapids?)

[1] Criticism, [2] contempt, [3] defensiveness, and [4] stonewalling.

Three Characteristics (What three characteristics of sibling relationships stand out among the findings of systematic research? )

[1] Sibling relationships are—from infancy through adolescence—notable for their emotional power and for the uninhibited expression of these emotions, [2] Intimacy—most children spend more time in interaction with siblings than with parents; therefore, this intimacy can be a source of great support or conflict. [3] There is a great range of individual differences, evident from early infancy through to adolescence

Vision Deficits (In which two crucial interrelated ways does minimal or absent vision alter the child's experiences? )

[1] exploration and understanding of space; [2] social relationships)

ADHD Environmental Factors (What environmental factors are linked to ADHD?)

home backgrounds in which marriages are unhappy and family stress is high

Math (When does math become a greater problem for girls than for boys? What can be done to help girls do well in math?)

parents can do much to foster girls' self-confidence and achievement in math. Beginning in the preschool years, they can provide girls with toys and activities that promote spatial reasoning and scaffold their mastery of those tasks. And they can assist children of both genders in interpreting their math successes as due to both effort and ability, in understanding that ability accrues from trying hard, and in taking failure as a sign that more effort and better problem-solving strategies are needed. A positive sign is that the gap between boys'and girls' math achievement is declining. In addition, more girls are enrolling in advanced math and science courses in high school, and slowly but steadily, women are entering maledominated math-related professions.63 The more parents hold nonstereotyped values about what males and females can and should do, the more likely girls are to sustain their high elementary-school math and science achievement in secondary school.64 .

Strong Willed Child (What suggestions do you have for disciplining a strong-willed, stubborn child? Nothing seems to work, including time out and loss of privileges.).

with the parent.27 Because parents' communication with noncompliant children is often riddled with negativity, it can take time to get the relationship on a better track. Arranging regular times for joint parent-child pleasurable activities is vital. Making sure to notice and praise the child's favorable behavior also reduces the negative cloud hanging over parent-child interaction. Finally, looking for the "silver lining" in the child's difficult disposition can help parents muster the fortitude needed to rear a child with a difficult disposition.