SOC 301 Exam 2

2 forms of love according to Ancient greeks

Common & heavenly love

Cohabitation and engagement filter

Engagement is the way to indicate to others that they are "serious" in their intentions. Cohabitation has become increasingly important "filter factor" in the decision to marry

How have economics explained the increase in singles

Expanded educational and career options for college-educated women over the past several decades have encouraged many of them to postpone marriage. Seen as a "bad bargain" once they have gained financial and sexual independence. Many men's earning potential has declined relative to women's may make marriage less attractive to both genders

What are the two expectations that form the "marriage premise"?

Guaranteeing property rights and otherwise providing economically for family members and ensuring the responsible upbringing of children. Providing love and ongoing emotional support has become key for most people

homogamy

In the U.S.: Tend to marry someone in respect to age, education level, class, general religious orientation, & race

Why did there used to be more men than women in the U.S.?

Mainly because more men than women migrated to this country and, to a lesser extent, because a considerable number of young women died in childbirth

Martyring

Maintaining relationships by consistently minimizing one's own need while trying to satisfy those of one's partner. They have good intentions, but rarely feel that they receive genuine affection

Selection hypothesis

Many benefits from marriage; higher income and wealth, along with better health

Exogamy

Marry outside one's social group

Do both men and women engage equally in interpersonal violence (IPV)?

Most interpersonal violence (IPV) is therefore reciprocal, and both genders can engage in physical aggression. Far more serious injuries result from male violence against females

Free-choice culture

People choose their own mates, although often they seek parents' and other family members' support for their decision

Demographic and social filter

People tend to form committed relationships with people of similar race, age, education, religious background, and social class. Feel more comfortable communicating with similar people

Personality and lifestyle filter

Personality traits can set the tone of the "emotional climate" of marriages, and negative patterns of interaction between partners during courtship have less-satisfying marriages. Need to be compatible emotionally, intellectually, ideologically and spiritually

How common is physical violence among dating couples?

Physical abuse occurs in 20-40% of dating relationships

Propinquity

Physical proximity or closeness

How do "dating" and "nondating" generally differ: *Nondaters*

Reported not wanting a boyfriend or girlfriend, their partners included friends and exes, their relationships lasted days or years there was a greater gap in ages, sex did not bring the couple closer, the couple didn't always tell their friends, had the sexual unions were for one time only, and the relationships were less exclusive

Does the fact that a new couple's own parents were divorced increase or decrease their own risk of an unstable relationship

Research shows that relationships are more likely to be stable when partners' parents have not been divorced

1st marriages show high degree of __________

"homogamy" (marriage to someone who is like me)

Chaperonage

-have a paid or kin guardian to keep young people from inappropriate interactions and settings

About what proportion of relationships continue after violence begins to take place?

About half of abusive dating relationships continue rather than being broken off

How does marriage involve a "social exchange"?

Basic idea of exchange theory is that whether relationships form or continue depends on the rewards and costs they provide to the partners

Dowry

Bride pays. a sum of money of property the female brings to the marriage

Companionate marriage

The single-earner, breadwinner-homemaker marriage that flourished in the 1950s. Although husbands and wives in this marriage usually adhered to a sharp division of labor, they were supposed to be each other's companion-friends, lovers-in a realization of trends beginning in the 1920s

Qualitative difference

different qualities or elements to liking & loving

Utilitarian marriage

emphasis on functions/tasks of family unit; skills of spouses to contribute to this unit

Ingratiation

excessive flattery especially if done with an alliterative motive

What are some examples of "love myths" that can lead people to choose partners who might not be right for them in the long term?

"The right person will meet all my needs, I can change my partner, Love will conquer all, Love is a feeling, We'll live happily ever after"

Early 20th century: Willard Waller

- "Rating & Dating" on college campuses - Not courtship oriented - More exploitive - Oriented towards thrill & status seeking - Not typical of most young adults

Why do "serial cohabitors" seem more likely to divorce once they do finally marry?

- *Experience hypothesis*: Cohabiting experiences themselves affect individuals so that , once married, they are more likely to divorce - *Selected hypothesis*: Individuals who choose serial cohabitation are different from those who do not; these differences translate into higher divorce rates

Cohabitation

- *Living with someone without being married in a reasonably committed relationship* - increasingly a part of courtship - "Trial marriage" for some (especially those who are worried about compatibility) - Some people do not/cannot marry, so cohabit instead

Institutional marriage

- *Marriage as a social institution based on dutiful adherence to the time-honored marriage premise, particularly the norm of permanence* - Advantages: Generally offered practical and economic security, along with the rewards that we often associate with custom and tradition. - Disadvantages: Organized by patriarchal authority, requiring a wife's obedience to her husband and the kinship group. Could involve what today we define as wife and child abuse or neglect

Love; Ancient greeks

- 5th cen B.C. - Plato's works, represented elites of his time; marriage was not love based - Love is important: love guarantees virtue

Factors affecting attraction: *Physical Attractiveness*

- Attractiveness stereotype: what is beautiful is good - We expect attractive people to have positive traits - Maybe a self-fulfilling prophecy - Our expectation for what a person is like affects our behavior toward them; this may limit or constrain their own behavior

Love vs liking: Liking

- Based on affection (feeling of warmth) - Respect (based on admirable traits)

What are some more recent research findings that show that love is important to both teenage boys and men

- Boys are becoming less focused on casual sex and more focused on romance. - Men also appear to fall in love more quickly than women - Love is important and meaningful in the lives of men

Difference in cohabitation and marriage

- Cohabiters are less homogamous, or alike in social characteristics, than are marrieds - Cohabiters have been more likely than marrieds to be nontraditional in many ways, including attitudes about gender roles, and to have parents with nontraditional attitudes or who have divorced - Cohabiting relationships are relatively short-term - Cohabiting partners are not committed to their relationship in the same way that married partners are - Cohabitation may not include widely held norms to guide behavior to the degree that marriage does - Lack of social support may negatively impact the stability of cohabitation

How do "dating scripts" differ for men and women?

- Dating scripts are highly genders --- Men: More likely to desire and pursue sexual activity --- Women: More likely to look at dating in terms of the possibility of a committed relationship

What are the major "filters" that tend to steer people toward marrying partners similar to themselves

- Demographic and social filter - Physical attraction filter - Personality and lifestyle filter - Cohabitation and engagement filter

Casual dating vs courtship: *Courtship*

- Focus on we "not me" - Increasing commitment to the partnership - Focus on the partners needs - Weaker peer group influence

The 1800s: effects of industrialization & urbanization

- Industrial revolution: Began in about the 1830s - Young adults moved to areas where mills & factories were developing; new cities (leaving home/direct control of parents) - Gradual shift from parent-directed to "participant-run" marriages - Family declines as an economic unit of production; becoming a unit of economic consumption - Shift toward love-based "intrinsic" marriages

Marriage trends in U.S

- Later marriage - Increase in the number of singles - Remarriage is declining somewhat - Cohabitation

Love; Love in Early America

- Marriage was largely parent directed - Families were the primary unit of economic production - Marriage often later, especially for men - Less freedom of choice for the wealthy - "Bundling board"

Part of newer thinking about gender roles is the idea of "androgyny"

- Men and women can have qualities in their gender related behaviors that can show off traits of the opposite sex - Recognition that a person can possess traits traditionally associated with the male and female roles - Masculinities/femininities: shows that gender roles can be extremely varied; across cultures, time, etc

Casual dating vs courtship: *Casual dating*

- More self oriented - Noncommittal - Transitory - Potential for exploitation - Stronger control of peer group (friends) influence

Love vs liking: Loving

- Needing (how other satisfies your needs) - Caring (how you satisfy the others needs) - Intimacy (sense of unity)

number of singles

- Never-married: youngest group & many will marry (just haven't yet) - Separated & divorced: Middle group - Widowed: Oldest group

How is the change from collectivism to individualism reflected in changes in the family?

- Resulted in 3 interrelated developments: 1) The authority of kin and extended family weakened 2) Individuals began to find their own marriage partners 3) Romantic love came to be associated with marriage

4 conceptualizations of love: *Love as an identity*

- Sense of being "in love" - Symbolic interaction theory - Social ideas about love that affect this validation - Love is a social product related to interaction (partner and other people)

4 conceptualizations of love: *Love as reward-seeking*

- Social exchange theory: Both are highly personalized & idiosyncratic - Maximize rewards and minimize cost - Cost-benefit analysis

Why control mate selection?

- Support the existing stratification system (resources, power, etc) - Support the existing kinship system

Traditional is contemporary gender role theories

- Tended to assume that there are 2 roles: masculine/male role & feminine/female role (very little variation) - Gender role is learned in early childhood & doesn't really change later

Have social media necessarily made love relationships easier to maintain?

- Texting was also used to avoid confrontation and to hurt one another - Email was associated with more positive relationships - Social network sites have been found to be associated with greater intimacy and support but greater jealousy for those with insecure/anxious attachment - These technologies can be used both positively and negatively in relationships

Courtly love; Andrew the Chaplin

- The Art of Courtly Love (1184) --- Represents the elites; writing for their amusement --- Writes about love (generally extramarital) in court; Knight & married woman, Arranged marriages, Love: romance, chivalry, devotion to women, woman as "on a pedestal" --- Links tenderness & sexuality (adds to our modern view of romance)

Indirect parental & peer controls

- This is primary/U.S/ form of control & also common elsewhere - Common where there is a "youth culture" - Few direct rules regarding choice but social pressures do exist from parents and peers

Early 20th century

- WWI: 1917 men joined the military, many overseas - "Roaring 20s"

4 conceptualizations of love: *Love as an emotion*

- Walster & Walster: Passionate love - 2 components: 1) State of generalized physiological arousal 2) Labeling/interpretation of that arousal, based on cues in the environment - Happens early

Factors affecting attraction: *Evaluations by the other person*

- We seem to be attracted to people who like us (or who we think like us) - 2 limitations/exceptions - Ingratiation & Reward imbalance

Factors affecting attraction: *Propinquity*

- We tend to become attracted to people we encounter more often - Opportunity for more interaction - Effects of repeated exposure - Familiarity often breeds liking - Expectations for future interactions - Better predictability of the other persons behavior

The "matching hypothesis"

- When seeking a partner, we can: - Look for the person with most to offer us (physical attraction); fear of rejection *OR* - Look for the person who is most likely to accept us as a partner: tends to be a more successful strategy

Ancient romans: Ovid

- Wrote The Art of Love, represents the elites --- Marriage not love based --- Ovid's love was sensual & sexual and not intellectual or spiritual; Love is "warfare" involving mutual deceit, jealousy, & the pursuit of pleasure --- Extramarital affairs of the elite "straight couples

4 conceptualizations of love: *Love as an attitude*

- ZickRubin: love is a positive evaluation of someone (as is liking) - Attitude: an evaluation of something or someone - Companionate love - Can apply to the relationship at any time - Quantitative & Qualitative difference

why do people do living apart together?

- partly motivated by a desire to retain autonomy - for older adults, this "allows for unencumbered contact with adult children from previous relationships while protecting their inheritance and offering freedom from caregiving as a prescribed duty, separate homes also allow a tangible line of demarcation in terms of gender equity ad the distribution of household labor - already burdened with enough actual or potential family caregiving

Premarital isolation of the sexes

-Physical or social isolation -Physical- keeping two sexes separated from each other -Social- forbid one sex from talking to the other

William goode

-all societies impose some controls on mate selection -love is possible in all societies -however, all cultures vary in the degree to which they base marriage on love -also vary in degree to which love is "institutionalized" as a basis for marriage -it is easier to control love before it happens than it is to break it up after

Child marriage

-parents or elders of the family get together with another child's parents and marry the children together -the child is powerless to resist an arranged marriage

Limits on the field of eligible mates

-rules that specify whom you can or can't marry -In U.S. can't marry kids, family, can't marry two people at same time, people who aren't competent to sign a contract or give consent

Factors affecting attraction: *Personality & personal needs*

2 possibilites - Needs compatibility: share same needs - Needs complementarity: have different needs that go together/compliment each other --- Dominate & submissive

Cultures vary in the degree to which love is institutionalized as a bases for marriage

A continuum (range) of societies in which marriage is love based (primarily) or places where marriage is not love based (other factors dominate; economics, politics, kinship, affiliation, etc.); Lots of societies are in the middle ground (tries to pick someone who might be compatible)

Pool of eligibles

A group of individuals who are the all-unmarried or all-unpartnered individuals

Opportunity cost

A reward you miss because you have committed to another course of action or to another person

Are martyring, manipulating, and "limerence" equivalent to love

Although each of these ideas is frequently mistaken for love, they are NOT love

How does the decline view of deinstitutionalization differ from the change view: *Decline*

Assert that our culture's unchecked individualism has caused widespread moral weakening and self indulgence; less likely to choose marriage & more likely to divorce and are less child-centered

Considerable research evidence suggests that married people and their children are better off in a number of ways than those who don't marry

Children in married families: half as likely to drop out of high school, reported more frequent contact and letter-quality relationships with their parents, and were significantly less likely to live in poverty

How has the acceptance of cohabitation changed over the last few decades?

Cohabitation is widely viewed as one of the most important changes in family life in the past forty years, dramatically altering the marital life course by offering a prelude to or a replacement for marriage

On what grounds are some family scholars concerned about the increasing number of children being raised in cohabiting families

Cohabiting amy not be an ideal childbearing context precisely due to the stress associated with the uncertainty of the future of the union. Children in cohabiting-couple families will experience a series of changes, or transitions in their family's living arrangements. Greater incidence of drug use, earlier premarital intercourse, higher rates of school suspension, and antisocial and delinquent behaviors coupled with lower academic achievement

Individualized marriage

Concept associated with the argument that contemporary marriage in the U.S. and other fully industrialized western societies is no longer institutionalized. - 4 characteristics: 1) It is optional 2) Spouses roles are flexible - negotiable and renegotiable 3) Its expected rewards involve love, communication, and emotional intimacy 4) It exists in conjunction with a vast diversity of family forms

Living apart together (LAT):

Couple is committed to a long-term relationship, but each partner also maintains a separate dwelling

what grounds has covenant marriage been criticized

Critics point out that proving adultery or domestic abuse in court may be difficult and expensive, where as living in a violent household can be deadly

Are the scripts for men and for women universally the same across race, ethnicity, and other factors, or do these scripts vary somewhat?

Dating scripts also can vary by race and ethnicity and other factors

What other cultural changes have contributed to people staying single?

First, attitudes toward non marital sex have changed dramatically over past decades (becoming more accepted). Enjoying singlehood. Getting married is no longer just about the only way to gain adult status. Cohabitation had emerged as a socially accepted alternative to marriage

Why do people tend to marry others similar to themselves, that is, marry "homogamously"?

Geographic availability: Traditionally known in the marriage and family literature as propinquity or proximity and referring to the fact that people tend to meet potential mates who are present in their regional environment

What trends are occurring with respect to marriage in the U.S. today?

High divorce rate, postponing marriage until older age, and increased cohabitation

In general, do heterogamous or homogamous marriages have more marital stability?

Higher divorce rate among heterogamous marriages may reflect the fact that these partners are likely to be less conventional in their values and behavior, and unconventional people may divorce more readily than others

How does immigration to a "free-choice culture" such as the U.S. affect the practice of arranged marriage

Immigrants who come to the U.S. from more collectivist cultures, in which arranged marriages have been the tradition, face the situation of living with a divergent set of expectations for selecting a mate

What is the difference between a communal (or collectivist) society and an individualistic society?

In individualistic societies, one's own self-actualization and interests are a valid concern and in Collectivist societies, people identify with and conform to the expectations of their extended kin

Are the relationships of same-sex couples very different from those of heterosexual couples?

In many respects, same-sex relationships are similar to heterosexual ones. Like heterosexuals, same-sex partners highly value love, faithfulness, and commitment. The need to resolve issues of sexual exclusivity, power, and decision making is not much different

Which best characterizes the U.S. today?

Individualistic

Does cohabitation (living together before marriage) guarantee success in marriage?

It is somewhat unclear whether and to what extent cohabitation is related to marital success

How is today's arranged marriage a bit different than it was traditionally?

It's more common today for the children to marry only when they themselves accept their parents' choice

Why do so many more young adults still live with their parents than in the past?

Kids have been spoiled and coddled since they were toddlers and have not developed the necessary skills to transition to responsible adulthood. Others have argued that young people choosing a slower path is a functional choice bc doing so means more time to prepare for life

how prevalent is covenant marriage in the U.S.? Where it is available, do most people opt for it?

Louisiana, Arizona, and Arkansas. 20 other states have considered but failed to pass

Is love considered in arranging marriage, and if so, when is it expected to develop?

Love is still considered, but couples in arranged marriages are expected to develop loving relationship after the marriage

Why is there more violence in cohabiting than married relationships?

Low commitment combined with conflict over "rights, duties, and obligations"

Do poor people value marriage less than wealthier people, or are there other reasons the poor marry at lower rates?

Low income americans value marriage and would like to marry, but marriage is difficult to achieve for many of them

Heterogamy

Marriage between partners of *DIFFERENT* race, age, education, religious background, and social class

Homogamy

Marriage between partners of *SIMILAR* race, age, education, religious background, and social class

Why are there more single people today (about 44% of the population of U.S. adults) than was true in the past?

Much of this change is the result of a growing proportion of widowed elderly. High proportion of singles also results from divorce rates that are flash but are still high. It is also a result from people postponing marriage until older and older and from a dramatically escalating cohabitation rate

Why are married people more likely than other people to say they are "very happy"?

People with higher means of well-being are more likely to get married and the experience of being married enhances happiness and well being

Physical attraction filter

Physical attraction is a step in assortative mating that is difficult to measure because it involves both social and biological factors

How does the decline view of deinstitutionalization differ from the change view: *Change*

Point out that, for one thing, people who look back with nostalgia to the good old days may be imagining incorrectly the situation that characterized marriage throughout the past centuries

How do "dating" and "nondating" generally differ: *Daters*

Referred to themselves as boyfriend and girlfriend, were close in age, reported that sex brought them closer, has relationships that tended to last a few months, and told their friends about their relationships

Why do some couples break up?

Relationships may "keep turning", or they may slow down or reverse themselves. Dating couples may choose to break up by weighing the rewards of their relationship against its cost or how their relationship matches an imagined ideal one or possible alternatives

Does marriage to someone of a different religion or race/ethnicity affect the chance for marital success and happiness?

Research suggests that marriages that are homogamous in age, education, religion, and race are the happiest and most stable. Marriages that are homogamous are more likely to share the same values and attitudes when they come from similar backgrounds

When researchers study love relationships, do they attempt to measure love itself, or do they measure other factors that are assumed to be related to love?

Researches tend to feel more comfortable measuring the concepts of attachment, intimacy, compassion, infatuation, which are related and often treated as measures of love, as opposed to love itself

Do same-sex couples face any unique difficulties

Same-sex couples must daily negotiate their private relationship within a heterosexual world. Discrimination adds stress for same-sex couples and may result in lowered mental health and relationship quality

Choosing a partner is influenced by each society

Social control of mate choice is done in all societies

What various living arrangements are typical of the unmarried?

Some singles live alone, others with parents, and still others in groups or communally. Some unmarrieds cohabit with partners of the sam or the opposite sex

Experience hypothesis

Something about the experience of being married itself causes these benefits.

What is commitment

The determination to develop relationships in which experiences cover many areas of personality, problems are worked through, conflict is expected and seen as a normal part of the growth process, and there is an expectation that the relationship is basically viable and worthwhile

Marriage gap

The disparity in marriage rates between the poor and those who are not poor

What is the "principle of least interest"?

The less involved partner wields more power in and control over the continuation or ending of the relationship

According to research on gay and lesbian families, how do children fare in same-sex families?

The majority of research on the topic finds children of gay male and lesbian parents to be generally well adjusted with few, if any, noticeable differences from children of heterosexual parents in cognitive abilities, school performance, behavior, emotional development, gender identity, or sexual orientation

Sex ratio

The number of men to women in a given society or subgroup - influences martial options and single-hood

Limerence

The people fantasize about being with the limners object in all kinds of situations. Many of us have experience this. Could possibly turn into genuine love, but more often than not, it doesn't

Why is the fact that there were more men than women in the U.S the opposite for today?

Today, this situation is reversed due to changes in immigration patterns and advances in women's health

Goode: Easier to control mate selection by controlling love before it happens

Trying to pull apart a couple that is already in love is very hard.

What does the U.S. Census Bureau mean when it classifies a person as "single"?

U.S. Census defines single as unmarried

Where is the U.S. with respect to these acceptability of cohabitation stages?

U.S. is in stage 3: cohabiting becomes a socially acceptable alternative to marriage

How does the sex ratio explain the growing percentage of the population that is classified as "single"?

Uneven amounts of men to women

Arranged marriage

Unions in which parents choose their children's marriage partners

Reward imbalance

We have been generally socialized to prefer social equity/fairness, so we are less attracted to people who seem to like us more than we can like them

Symbolic interaction theory

We make a claim of being in love with someone to others (may or may not validate that claim); if they don't validate that claim, it makes it harder to feel in love

Is marriage in and of itself sufficient to alleviate poverty? Do most unmarried families live in poverty?

We might conclude that encouraging people to get married would work somewhat to lessen poverty. Marriage contributes to a family's economic well-being, but a child does not need married parents to grow up above the poverty line

Is it true that arranged marriages involve bargaining but that free-choice marriages involve no bargaining?

With arranged marriage and marriages in free choice, BOTH involve bargaining

How has the exchange changed over the last sixty or so years?

Women continue to expect greater financial success as a category from prospective husbands than vice versa

What is the traditional, gender-based exchange?

Women have traded their ability to bear and raise children, coupled with domestic duties, sexual accessibility, and physical attractiveness, for a man's protection, status, and economic support

Manipulating

Working to control the feelings, attitudes, and behavior of your partner or partners in under handed ways rather than by directly stating your case.

What is "emerging adulthood?"

Young people today spend more time in higher education or exploring options regarding work, career, and family making than in the past. This accounts for many unmarrieds today

Why are fewer cohabiting couples of today getting married than was true back around 1990?

cohabiting has become more socially acceptable, a cultural change that "contributes to a decline in cohabiting partners' expectations about whether marriage is the 'next step' in their own relationship"

intrinsic marriage

emphasis on personal satisfaction & needs fulfillment (e.g. "soulmate" notion)

Bride price

groom pays. money or property that the future groom pays the future bride's family so that he can marry her

2nd marriages are less ______________ and more _______________

homogamous; heterogamous

Quantitative difference

love is a strong version of liking

Endogamy

marry within one's social group

Love; Courtly love

middle ages 12th century

Attraction

not a random event; even in a participant run system, society shapes our choices

Covenant marriage

partners agree to be bound by a marriage "covenant" that will not let them get divorced easily

Marriage market

virtual market place. sociological concept that potential mates take stock of their personal and social characteristics and then comparison shop or bargain for the best buy (mate) they can get

Factors affecting attraction: *Attitude & values similarity*

we tend to like people who share our views on matters we find important