The Essentials of Human Communication- Chapters 1-5

Interpretation-Evalutation (Stage 3)

(a combined term because the who processes cannot be separated)- and it is greatly influenced by your experiences, needs, wants, values, beliefs about the way things are or should be, expectations, physical and emotional state, and so on. Will be influenced by your gender (example: woman have been found to view others more positivity then men).

Impolite messages

(criticism or negative facial expressions) attack our needs to be seen positively and to be autonomous

Polite messages

(such as compliments or pats on the back) reflect positively on the other person (positive face)

Strategies that can help reduce uncertainty about another person:

- Observe: while engaged in an active task, likely to reveal their true selves in information situations - Construct situations: manipulate situations to observe the person in more specific and revealing contexts - Get the lay of the land: reading exchanges between other group members before saying anything - Ask (ing others): learn by asking others - Interact: with that individual and you'll get considerable amount of information

Increasing your accuracy in impression formation

-Analyze your impressions -Check your perceptions -Reduce you uncertainty -Increase your cultural sensitivity

Useful ways to avoid ageism is to recognize and avoid the illogical stereotypes that ageist language is based on:

-Avoid talking down to a person because he/she is older. Older people remain mentally alert -Don't assume that older people don't know pop culture or technology -Refrain from refreshing an older person's member each time you see them. Assume they remember -Avoid implying that relationships are no longer important. Older people continue to be interesting in all relationships -Speak at normal volume and maintain a normal physical distance -Engage older people in conversation as you would wish to be engaged

The National Council of Teachers of English (NCTE) has proposed guidelines for nonsexist language

-Avoid using man generically: using the term to refer to both men and women emphasizes maleness at the expense of femaleness. Instead of "mankind" say "humanity, people, human beings" Terms such as policeman and fireman are common examples of sexist language. -Avoid using he and his as generic: "The average student is worried about his grades" vs "The average student is worried about grades" -Avoid sex role stereotyping: hypothetical elementary school teacher is female and the college professor is a male or male doctor and female nurse you're sex role stereotyping

Suggestions for communicating assertiveness

-Describe the problem; don't evaluate or judge it: use I-messages and to void messages that accuse or blame the other person -State how this problem affects you; tell the person how you feel -Propose solutions that are workable and that allow the person to save face -Confirm understanding: Query the other person to make sure you both understand where you stand

Guidelines for resisting pressure to self-disclose

-Don't be pushed -Be assertive in your refusal to disclose -Delay a decision -Move to another topic

Five most important meanings of touch

-Emotions: mainly between intimates or others who have a relatively close relationships. Most important of these positive emotions are supposed, appreciation, inclusion, sexual interest or intent, and affection. -Playfulness: the desire to play, sometimes affectionately, sometime aggressively -Control: control or direct the behaviors, attitudes, or feelings of the other person. to get attention you may touch a person as if to say "look at me" or "look over here" -Ritual: may serve as a ritual function like shaking hands to say hello or putting your arm around another's shoulder when saying farewell -Task-related: often occurs while you're performing some function, such as removing a speck of dust from another person's face or helping someone out of a car

Guidelines in communicating online

-Familiarize yourself with the site or rules for communicating before contributing: FAQ's and lurking before speaking -Be brief -Don't shout: NO CAPS -Don't spam or "flame" -Avoid offensive language -Be polite: same guidelines you'd use in face-to-face communcation

Three types of cultural time:

-Formal and informal time -Monochronism and polychronism -The social clock

The following behaviors were found to most often accompany lying

-Hold back: they speak more slowly and take longer to respond to questions, less information and elaboration -Make less sense: messages contain more discrepancies and inconsistencies -Give a negative impression: less willing to be cooperative, smile less, and are more defensive -Tense: may be revealed though high pitched voices and excessive body movements

Communication and developing your nonverbal competence will yield a variety of benefits such as:

-Improving your accuracy tin understanding people -Increasing your effectiveness in a variety of interpersonal situations -Increases your own perceived attractiveness -Enables you to make a more effective self-presentation

Seven principles to help you understand how verbal messages work

-Message meanings are in people -Messages are denotative and connotative -Messages vary in abstraction -Messages can deceive -Messages vary in politeness -Messages can be olympus or anonymous -Messages vary in assertiveness

Dangers related to self-disclosure

-Personal risks: the more that others know about you, the more they'll be able to use against you -Relationships risks: can cause problems. Example: parents who find out their children are homosexual or another faith may reject them -Professional risks: students who disclose their alcohol or drug behavior online may find it difficult to find a job.

Messages vary in politeness

-Politeness & Directness -Politeness & Gender -Politeness Online

Four obvious disconfirming practices are

-Racism -Heterosexism -Ageism -Sexism

Rewards related to self-disclosure

-Self-knowledge: as you talk abut yourself and listen to the reactions of others, you're key to learn a lot abut yourself. -Improved coping abilities: help you deal with variety of problems, by verbalizing the problem, you'll likely see it more objectively and dispassionately. -Communication enhancement: understand the messages of others largely to the extent that you understand the individuals -More meaningful relationships: self-disclosing yourself leads the other individual to self-disclose and forms the start of a relationship that is honest, open, and allows for more complete communication. -Preventing inaccurate perceptions: people may wonder about this or that and construct inaccurate explanations that may be worse than any secrets

Guidelines for facilitating and responding to others disclosures

-Support and reinforce the disclosure -Be willing to reciprocate -Keep the disclosures confidential -Don't use the disclosure against the person

You communicate nonverbally through a wide range of channels:

-The body -The face -The eyes -Space -Artifacts -Touch -Paralanguage -Silence -Time

Variety of strategies to mange the impression people form of you

-To be liked: you might smile, pat mother on the back, and shake hands warmly -To be believed: you might use focused eye contact, a firm stance, and open gestures -To excuse failure: you might look sad, cover your face with your hands, and shake your head -To secure help by indicating helplessness: you might use open hand gestures, a puzzled look, and inept movements -To hide faults: you might wear flattering clothes or makeup -To be followed: you might dress the part of a leader or display your diploma or awards where others can see them -To confirm self-image and to communicate it to others: you might dress a certain ways or decorate your apartment with things that reflect your personality

Stages of listening

1) Attention and concentration (receiving) 2) Learning (understanding) 3) Memory (remembering) 4) Critical thinking (evaluation) 5) Feedback (responding)

Perception checking consists of two parts

1) Description/interpretation: to describe what you see or hear or head and how you interpret the behavior. 2) Clarification: is simply to find out what was going on. Be careful that your request for clarification does not sound as though you already now the answer.

Six guidelines for making your verbal messages more effective and a more accurate reflection of the world in which we live:

1) Extensionalize - avoid intensional orientation 2) See the individual - avoid allness 3) Distinguish between facts and inferences - avoid fact-inference confusion 4) Discriminate among - avoid indiscrimination 5) Talk about the middle - avoid polarization 6) Update messages - avoid static evaluation

Four types of proxemic distances that define types of relationships between people

1) Intimate distance 2) Personal distance 3) Social distance 4) Public Distance

Four types of noise

1) Physical Noise 2) Physiological Noise 3) Psychological Noise 4) Semantic Noise

Five stages of perception

1) Stimulation 2) Organization 3) Interpretation-evaluation 4) Memory 5) Recall

Myths about Human Communication

1) The more you communication, the better your communication will be. 2) When two people are in a close relationship, neither person should have to communication needs and wants explicitly; the other person should know what these are. 3) Interpersonal or group conflict is a reliable sign that the relation or group is in trouble 4) Like good communication, leaders re born, not made. 5) Fear of speaking in public is detrimental and must be eliminated.

Verbal and nonverbal messages interact t with each other in six major ways

1) To accent 2) To complement 3) To contradict 4) To control 5) To repeat 6) To substitute

Four basic steps in the self-fulfilling prophecy:

1) You make a prediction or formulate a belief about a person or a situation. Example: predicting that Pat is friendly in social situations 2) You act toward that person or situation as if such a prediction or belief were true. Example: you act as if Pat were a friendly person 3) Because you act as if the belief were true, it becomes true. Example: because of the way you act, Pat becomes comfortable and friendly 4) You observe your feet on the person or the resulting situation, and what you see strengthens your beliefs. Example: you observe Pat's friendliness, and this reinforces your belief that Pat is, in fact, friendly.

Active listening serves serval important functions:

1) check understanding: it helps you as a listener check your understanding of what the speaker said and, more important, what he or she meant. 2) acknowledge and accept his or her feelings: letting the speaker you accept and get what they're saying 3) stimulates the speaker to explore his or her feelings and thoughts: the opportunity to elaborate also helps you deal with your feelings by talking through them

Three cultural influences on listening are..

1) language and speech 2) nonverbal behaviors 3) feedback

Four types of message that send solutions and that you'll want to avoid in your active listening:

1) ordering messages - do this..., don't touch that... 2) warning and threatening messages- if you don't do this, you'll..., if you do this, you'll.... 3) preaching and moralizing messages- people should all...., we all have responsibilities... 4) advising messages- why don't you...., what i think you should do is....

5 general purposes for communication

1) to learn: to acquire knowledge of others 2) to relate: to form relationships with others, to interact with others as individuals 3) to help: to assist others by listening, offering solutions 4) to influence: to strengthen or change the attitudes or behaviors of others 5) to plan: to enjoy the experience of the moment

You need to adjust your listening on the basis of

1) your purposes (are you listening to learn? to give comfort? to judge?) 2) your knowledge of and relationship to the other person (is this person prone to exaggeration? or does this person need support?)

Self-disclosure may involve information about..

1) your values, beliefs, and desires 2) your behavior 3) your self qualities or characteristics

Nonverbal researchers identify five major types of kinetic movements:

1)Emblems 2)Illistrators 3)Affect displays 4)Regulators 5)Adaptors

Obvious suggestions for avoiding racist speech

AVOID: -derogatory terms -basing your interactions with members of other races on stereotypes perpetrated by media -mentioning race when it's irrelevant -attributing individuals economic or social problem to the race of the individuals rattan than to their actually sources

Suggestions for avoiding heterosexist (homophobic) speech

AVOID: -offensive nonverbal mannerisms that parody stereotypes when talking about gay men and lesbians - "complimenting" gay men and lesbians by saying they " don't look it" this is not a compliment -making the assumption that every gay and lesbian know what every other gay or lesbian is thinking -denying individual differences - ignore the reality of wide differences within any group and are potentially insulting to tall groups - remember relationships milestones are important to all peoplea

Public territories

Areas that are open to all people; they may be owned by some person or organization, but they are used by everyone. Such places as movie theaters, restaurants, and shopping malls

Secondary territories

Areas that don't belong to you but that you have occupied and with which you're associated. Might include your usual table in the cafeteria, your regular seat in the class, or your neighborhood turf

Primary territories

Areas that you might call your own these areas are your exclusive preserve. Might include your room, your desk, or your office.

Dialogue with yourself to gain self-awareness

Ask yourself questions such as "what motivates me to act as i do?" "what are my long term, short term goals?" "how do i plan to achieve those goals" "what are my strengths & weaknesses"

Recall (Stage 5)

At a later date, you may want to recall or access the information you have stored in memory. Let's say you want to retrieve your inflation about ben because he's the topic of discussion among you and a few friends.

Climbing to higher self-esteem

Attack self-destructive beliefs Beware the impostor phenomenon Seek out nourishing others Work on projects that result in success Remind yourself of your successes Secure affirmation

Pygmalion effect

Classic research study which is a widely known example of the self-fulfilling prophecy.

Guidlines for making self-disclosures

Consider the.. -Motivation for the self-disclosure -Appropriateness of the self-disclosure -Disclosures of the other person -Possible burdens self-disclosure might entail

Human Communication

Consists of the sending and receiving of verbal and nonverbal messages between two or more people.

Skills you'll learn through communication include..

Critical and creative thinking skills Interaction skills Relationship skills Leadership skills Presentation skills

Four major listening barriers

Distractions: Physical and Mental Biases and prejudices Lack of appropriate focus Premature judgment

Transactional Model

Each person involved in communication is both a source (speaker) and a receiver (listener): sense the term sources-receivers

To compensate for lack of nonverbal behavior through transmitted communication, the __________ and it's more sophisticated counterpart, the ________ was created. It's the absence of the nonverbal channel through which you can clarify your messages (smiling or winking to communicated sarcasm or humor)

Emoticon, Emoji

Four listening styles of listening

Empathetic Listening Polite Listening Critical Listening Active Listening

You can improve this responding phase of listening by following these suggestions:

Express support Use varied bachkchanneling cues Own you own responses Avoid the common problem- causing listening reponses

Hearing and listening are the same

False

Listening can't be learned or improved and anyway i'm already a good listener

False

Listening is an objective process; you receive what is said

False

Listening is powerless.

False

Listening is the same regardless of the situation

False

Listening just happens; it's a natural process

False

Assertiveness is an effective strategy in all cultures and creates no problems

False; cultures all vary

Chinese and Taiwanese see lying about good deeds that they do as negative

False; they see lying about good deeds as positive

Three specific types or messages

Feedforward Feedback Metamessages

Four suggestions for facilitating the passage of information from short-term to long-term memory

Focus: your attention on the central ideas Organize: what you hear; summarize the message in a more easily retained form, but take care not to ignore crucial details or qualifications Unite: the new with the old; relate new information to what you already know Repeat: names and key concepts to yourself or, if appropriate, aloud

Facial communication may communicate at least the following eight emotions:

Happiness, surprise, fear, anger, sadness, disgust, contempt, and interest - Try communicating these without any facial movements (not easy)

Self-deprecating strategies

If you want to be taken care of and protected, or if you simply want tombstone to come to your aid, you might use ___________. confessions of incompetence and inability often bring assistance from others. "I just can't fix the drain and it drives me crazy, i know nothing about plumbing" Another person may offer to come help. Be careful these may convince people that you are, just as incompetent as you say you are.

Self-handicapping strategies

If you were about to tackle a difficult task and were concerned that you might fail, you might use what are called ___________. In the more extreme form of this strategy, you actually set up barriers or obstacles to make the task impossible. This way, when failed, you can say the task was "impossible"

Credibility strategies

If you were posting a how-to video on you've and wanted people to believe you knew what you were demonstrating, at least part of your strategy would involve the use of __________, attempts to establish a perception by others of your competence, character, and charisma.

Formal time divisions

In the US and in most of the world include seconds, minutes, hours days, weeks, months, years. Some cultures however may use seasons or phases of the moon to demarcate their most important time periods

Remind yourself of your successes

Instead of focusing too much on failures, missed opportunities, and social mistakes.. remind yourself of your successes to counteract the failures. Recall these both intellectually and emotionally

Forms of Communication

Interpersonal Communication Intrapersonal Communication Interviewing Small-group communication Public Communication Computer-mediated communication Mass Communication

Forming impressions

Judging who the person is and what the person is like

Receiver

Listener

Self-monitoring strategies

Much impression management is devoted not merely to presenting a positive impression, but to suppressing the negative, to _____________ in which you censor what you say or do. You avoid your normals lang to make your colleagues think more highly of you.

Accent

Nonverbal communication is often used to accent or emphasize some part of the verbal message Example: raise your voice to underscore a particular word or phrase, bang your fist on the desk to stress your commitment, or look longingly into someone's eyes when saying "i love you"

Control

Nonverbal movements may be used to control, or to indicate your desire to control, the flow of verbal messages Example: pursing your lips together, leaving forward, or making hand movement to indicate that you want to speak, put your hand up or vocalize your pauses with "umm" to indicate that you have no finished and aren't ready to relinquish the floor to the next speaker

Noncontact cultures

Northern Europe and Japan. Maintain greater distance in their interactions, touch each other rarely if at all, avoid facing each other directly, and maintain much less direct eye contact

Research on communication via the eyes (a study known as __________) shows that the duration, d direction, and quality of the eye movements communicate different messages.

Oculesics

Work on project that will result in success

Often people will select projects that will result in failure simply because they are impossible to complete (setting themselves up for failure) Avoid this trap and choose projects that will result in success. Success=self esteem= next success a little easier with more confidence

The Sources of Self-Concept

Others images of you Comparisons with others Cultural teaching Self-evaluation

Techniques of active listening

Paraphrase the speaker's meaning: restate what you think the speaker means and feels in your own words can help ensure understanding and shows your interest in the speaker Express understanding of the speaker's feelings: echo the feelings the speaker expressed or implied ("you must have felt horrible") Ask questions: asking questions strengthens your won understanding of the speaker's thoughts and feeling sand elicits additional information ("how did you feel when you read your job appraisal report") should further confirm your interest and concern for the speaker but not pry into unrelated areas or challenge the speaker in any way

Four Aspects of Context

Physical Context Cultural Context Social-physhological Context Temporal Context

If what comes first exerts the most influence, you have a ____________. If what comes last (or most recently) exerts the most influence, you have a ___________.

Primacy effect, recency effect

The understanding phase of listening can be made more effective if you follow these suggestions:

Relate: the speaker's new information to what you already know See the speaker's messages from the speaker's point of view: in part by not judging the message until it's fully understood as the speaker intended it. Rephrase/paraphrase: the speaker's ideas, a simple process that's especially important when listening to complicated instructions

Three steps to make the evaluation stage of listening more effective

Resist evaluating Assume that the speaker is a person of goodwill Distinguish facts from opinions

Backchanneling cues

Responses made while the speaker is talking should be supportive and should acknowledge that you're listening - messages (words and gestures) that let the speaker know you're paying attention, as when you nod in agreement or say "I see" or "uh-huh"

Selective perception

Selective attention & selective exposure

The amish community practices an extreme form of disconfirmation called "__________", in which the community members totally ignore a person who has violated one or more f their rules

Shunning

____________ words are highly negative while ______________ words are highly positive.

Snarl words, Purr words

Source

Speaker

Vocal Channel

Speaking and listening

Communication Competence

The ability to communicate effectively and knowing how communication works and how to best achieve your purpose by adjusting your messages accordingly to the content of the interaction, the person with them your interacting.

The Linear View of Human Communication

The speaker speaks and the listener listens

Over attribution

The tendency to single out one or two obvious characteristics of a person and attribute everything that person does to these characteristics. ( "alex overeats because he is blind")

Primacy-receny

There's a tendency to use early information to get a general idea about a person or to use later information to make this impression more specific. Example: You'd perceive a person who was described as "intelligent, industrious, impulsive, critical, stubborn, and envious" more positively than a person described as "envious, stubborn , critical, impulsive, industrious, and intelligent"

Similarity

Things that are physical similar (look alike) are perceived to belong together and to form a unit. Example: would lead you to see people who dress alike, work the same jobs, same religion, live in the same building, same accent belonging together.

Proximity (or physical closeness)

Things that are physically close to each other are perceived as a unit. Thus, using this rule, you would perceive people who are often together, or message spoken one immediately after the other, as units, as belonging together.

The Essentials of Human Communication

This a general model of communication between two people and most accurately depicts communication as a transactional process. It puts into visual form the various elements of the communication process.

Impression Management: Goals and Strategies

To be liked: Affinity-Seeking and Politness Strategies To be believed: Credibility Strategies To excuse failure: Self-handicapping Strategies To secure help: Self-depricating Strategies To hide faults: Self-monoriting strategies To be followed: Influencing strategies To confirm self-image: Image-confirming strategies

Message meanings are in people

To discover the meaning a person is trying to communicate, it's necessary to look into the person as well as the words Example: the word 'cancer' will mean something very different to a mother whose son was just diagnosed than to a oncologist and someone saying "i love you" one day then the next finding out it was also said to 3 other people

Influencing strategies

To many instances you'll ant to get people to see you as a leader. (information power-knowledge, expert power-expertise, legitimate power-your right to lead by virtue of your position.

All communication contains noise

True

As you listen you process the message along with your preconceptions, knowledge, and attitudes, for example.

True

Assertive people are more positive and score lower on measures of hopelessness than do nonassertive people. sThe also speak their minds and welcome others doing likewise

True

Even when racism is subtle, unintentional, or even unconscious, it's effects are systematically damaging

True

Hearing is just the first step in the listening process; it is not the entire process

True

In perceiving and especially in evaluation other people's behavior, you frequently ask if they were in control of their own behavior. If you feel a person was in control of negative behaviors you'll come to dislike him or her. If you believe the person was not in control of the negative behaviors, you'll come to feel sorry, and not blame, him or her.

True

Listening can also communicate power, through it is often perceived as less powerful than speaking

True

Listening can be improved; it involves skills just like public speaking or leadership

True

Listening should be situational; you don't listen the same way at a class lecture and on a date

True

Listening takes effort; it's an active rather than a passive process

True

Messages normally occur in "packages" consisting of both verbal and nonverbal signals.

True

Nonverbal messages interact with verbal messages

True

People who are truly competent need say little directly about their own competence; their actions and their success will reveal it

True

Self-disclosure involves at least one other individual; it cannot be an interpersonal communication act.

True

T or F- To empathize with others is to see the world as they see it to feel what they feel.

True

The self-fulfilling prophecy also can be seen when you make predictions about yourself and fulfill them.

True

The widely accepted recommendation for effective communication is to use abstractions sparingly and to express your m meaning explicitly with words that are low in abstraction

True

The world is infinitely complex, and because to his you can never say all there is to say about anything - at least not logically

True

Verbal messages that use the most general term will conjure up many different imagines in listeners mind

True

When one person lies, the likelihood of the other person lying increases

True

Contrast

When items (people or messages) are very different from each other, you conclude that they don't belong together; they're too different from each other to be part of the same unit.

Repeat

You can repeat or restate the verbal messages nonverbally. Example: following your verbal "is that all right?" with raised eyebrows and a questioning look or you can motion with your head or hand to repeat your verbal "let's go"

Substitute

You may also use nonverbal communication for verbal messages. Example: Signally "OK" with a hand gesture or nodding your head to indicate yes or shaking your head to indicate no

Contradict

You may deliberately contradict your verbal messages with no verbal movements Example: crossing your fingers or winking to indicate that you're lying

Image-confirming strategies

You may sometimes use ____________ to reinforce your positive perceptions about yourself. If you see yourself as the life of the party, you'll tell jokes, post photos in which you are in fact the life of the party, and just try to amuse people. This behavior confirms your own self-image and also lets others know that this is who you are and how you want o be seen.

Organization (Stage 2)

You organize the information your senses pick up. One of the major ways you organize information is by rules. Including proximity, similarity, and contrast.

Memory (Stage 4)

Your perceptions and their interpretations-evaluations are put into memory; they're stored so that you may ultimately retrieve them at some later time.

Stimuation (Stage 1)

Your sense organs are stimulated- you hear new music, you smell someone's perfume, you taste an orange. Naturally you don't perceive everything rather you engage in selective perception, which includes selective attention and selective exposure.

Communication is ... Unrepeatable (Unrepeatability)

a communication act can never be duplicated for the simple reason everything and everyone is constantly changing. You can never recapture the exact situation, frame of mind, or relationship dynamics that defined a previous communication act. Example: first impressions, speeches, etc.

Indiscrimination

a form of stereotyping, can be seen in such statements: -He's just like the res of them: lazy, stupid, a real slob -I really don't want another ethnic on the board of directors. One is enough for me -Read a romance novel? I read one when I was 16. That was enough to convince me

Johari window

a metaphoric division of the self into four areas

catharsis

a need to get rid of feeling of guilt or to confess some wrongdoing.

Territoriality

a possessive reaction to an area or to particular objects. You interact basically in three types of territories: primary territories, secondary territories, and public territories

Attribution of control

a process by which you focus on explaining why someone shaved as he or she did. Example: suppose you invite your friend to dinner at 7PM and he arrives at 9PM. Consider how you'd respond to this. Reason 1: didn't want to stop what he was doing, Reason 2: driving, helped someone on the side of the road, Reason 3: car accident & taken to the hospital. Depending on the reasoning, you would probably attribute very different motives to his behavior.

Earmarkers

a term taken from the practice of branding animals on their ears - are identifying marks that indicate your possession of a territory or object Example: trademarks, nameplates, and initials on a shirt or attache case

Social clock

a time schedule for the right time to do various important things, such as starting dating, finishing college buying your own home or having a child. This tells you if you're keeping pace with your peers, are ahead of them, or are falling behind.

Body appearance

also communicates. Height (shown to be significant in presidential candidates, job applicants, and greater career success) Race (skin color and tone, clues to nationality) Weight Hair styles Attractiveness

Messages can deceive

although we operate on the assumption that people tell the truth, it should com as no surprise to learn that some people do lie

Politeness strategies

another set of strategies people often use to appear like able, may be viewed in terms of negative and positive face. -Positive face: the desire to be viewed positively by others, to be through of favorably. -Negative face: the desire to be autonomous, to have the right to do as you wish.

Perception checking

another way to reuse uncertainty and to ensure that your initial impressions are more accurate. The goal of this is to further explore the thoughts and feelings of the other person, not to prove that your initial perception is correct.

Regulators

are behaviors that monitor, control, coordinate, or maintain the speech of another individual. Example: when you nod your head you're telling the speaker to keep on speaking and when you lean forward and open your mouth you're telling the speaker that you would like to say something

Emblems

are body gestures that translate directly into words or phrases: for example, the OK sign, the thumbs-up for "good job", and the V for "victory". You use these consciously and purposely to communicate the same meaning as the words.

Object-adaptors

are gestures focused on objects (doodling on or shredding a styrofoam coffee cup)

Adaptors

are gestures that satisfy some personal need, such as catching to relieve an itch or moving your hair out of your eyes

Central markers

are items you place in a territory to reserve it for you Example: a drink at the bar, books on your desk, or a sweater over a library chair

Artifactual messages

are messages conveyed through objects or arrangements made by human hands. Example: colors you prefers, clothing and jewelry you wear, the way you decorate your spaces, bodily scents, etc.

Informal time divisions

are more general, more ambiguous, and involve such informal time terms such as"forever" "immediately" "soon" "right away" "as soon as possible". This creates the most problems, because informal terms have different meanings for different people.

Alter-adaptors

are movements directed at the person with whom you're speaking (removing lint from a person's jacket or straightening his or her tie, or folding your arms in front o you to keep others are a comfortable distance

Affect displays

are movements of the face (smiling or frowning) but also of the hands and general body (body tenseness or relaxed posture) that communicate emotional meaning. Example: smiling while talking about how happy you are to see a friend

Self-adaptors

are self-touching movements (rubbing your nose)

Subjective View

argue that absolute statements about right and wrong are too rigid and that the ethics of a message depends on the cultures values and beliefs a well s the particular circumstances. A good end would often justify the use of means that would in other situations be considered unethical.

Objective View

argue that the rightness or wrongness of an act is absolute and exists apart from the values or beliefs of any individual or culture. The end can never justify the means; an unethical act is never justified regardless of how good or beneficial it's results might be.

Nonverbal Behaviors

as you listen o other people, you also "listen" to their nonverbal

Truth bias

assuming that the person is telling the true - especially in long-term relationships where it's simple expected that each person tells the truth

Premature judgement

assuming you know what the speaker in going to say and that there's no need to really listen - let the speaker say what he or she is going to say before you decide that you already know it

Touch avoidance

avoid touch from certain people or in certain circumstances. Those who fear oral communication also score high on this. Affected by age and gender.

Institutional ageism

can be seen in mandatory retirement laws and age restrictions in certain occupations (rather than restrictions based on demonstrated competence.

Individual ageism

can be seen, for example, in the general disrespect many people exhibit towards older people and in negative age-based stereotypes

Ageism

can refer to prejudice against people of other age groups - mainly again older people but can refer to all ages besides your own Example: describing all teenagers as selfish and undependable, you're discriminating against a group purely besides of their again and thus are ageist in your statement

Humans use three types of markers to mark both their primary and secondary territories to signal ownership

central, boundary, and earmarkers

The communication __________ is the vehicle or medium through which messages pass. Communication rarely takes place over only one _________. (vocal channel- speaking and listening, visual channel- gesture and receiving signals visually)

channel.

Facial feedback hypothesis

claims that your facial expressions influence physiological arousal.

Self esteem includes:

cognitive or thinking affective or emotional behavioral components

Self-disclosure

communicating information about yourself to another person. Revealing information that you normally keep hidden, it can also refer to information that you would share with just abut anyone: your likes and dislikes; your brief tweets that say something about what you like or don't like.

Ambiguity

condition in which something can be interpreted in more than one way. Examples: language ambiguity, relationship ambiguity

Evaluating

consists of judging the messages you hear.

Culture

consists of the beliefs, ways of behaving, and artifacts of a group. Transmitted though communication and learning rather than through genes.

Personal distance

constitutes the protective "bubble" that defines your personal space, which measures from 18 inches to 4 feet. Keeps you protected and untouched by others.

"how are you" means "hello" to someone you pass regally on the street but "is your health improving" to a friend in the hospital

context

Communication exists in a _______ that determines, to a large extend, the meaning of any verbal or nonverbal message.

context

Language Ambiguity

created by words that can be interpreted differently. Examples: soon, right away, in a minute, early, late, and similar terms can be understood differently by different people.

Noxious people

criticize and find fault with just about everything, make you feel bad about yourself

Display rules

cultural rules that govern which nonverbal behaviors are appropriate and which are inappropriate in a public setting

Cocultures

cultures coexisting somewhat separately but all influencing one another.

When you translate the sound waves (the speech signals) that impinge on your ears or read the words on a screen, into ideas, you take them out of the code they're in; sense you're

decoding.

Listening

defined as the process of receiving, understanding, remembering, evaluation, and responding to verbal and/or nonverbal messages

Communication always has some _______ on those involved in the communication act

effect

Remembering

effecting listening depends on _____________. Example: when joe says his mother is ill, the effective listener remembers this and inquires about her health later on in the week

Olfactory Channel

emit and small odors

If you're going to understand what a person means and what a person is feeling, you need to listen with some degree of ...

empathy

Relationships Skills

enable you to build friendships, enter into love relationships, work with colleagues, and interact with family members. These are the interpersonal and relationship skills for initiating , maintaining, repairing, and sometimes dissolving relationships of all kinds. Everyday skills.

Leadership Skills

enable you to communicate information effectively in small groups or with large audiences and your ability to influence others in these same situations are among your most important leaderships skills. Essential in the workplace!

Presentation Skills

enable you to present yourself as a confident, likable, approachable, and credible person. Your effectiveness in just about any endeavor depends heavily on your self-presentation - your ability to present yourself in a positive light, through your verbal and nonverbal messages.

Speakers or writers are often referred to as ________ and listeners or readers as __________.

encoders, decoders

When you put your ideas into speech, you're putting them into a code; sense you're

encoding.

Seeking information about yourself to gain self-awareness

encourage people to reveal what they know about you. Example: asking questions to peers like "do you think i cam down too hard on the kids today?" but seek in moderation. if done too often, peers will perceive you as insecure or self-centered

Illustrators

enhance the verbal message they accompany Example: gesturing to the left when describing something to the left or when communicating the shape or size of objects you're talking about

Language and speech

even when a speaker and listener speak the same language, they speak it with different meaning and different accents

Sexist speech

exists on both an individual and an institutional level

Ethnocentrism

extreme ethnic identity; it's the tendency to see others and their behaviors through your own cultural filters, often as distortions of your own behaviors.

Barriers to clear thinking can result when inferences are treated as facts, a tendency called ______________.

fact-inference confusion

Visual Channel

gesture and receive signals visually

Denotation

has to do with the objective meaning of a term, the meaning you would find in the dictionary. It's the meaning that people who share a common language assign to a word

Social-physhological Context

has to do with the stats relationship among speakers, the formality of the situation, the norms of ta group or organization; you don't talk the sam way in the cafeteria as you would at a formal dinner at your boss's house.

Relationship Ambiguity

having more than one possible interpretation or meaning.

Critical and Creative Thinking Skills

help you approach new situations mindfully- with full conscious awareness, increase your ability to distinguish between a sound and valid argument and on that is filled with logical fallacies, and your ability to use language to reflect reality more accurately.

Interaction Skills

help you improve your communication in a wide range of forms, from the seemingly simple small talk to the employment interview for the job of a lifetime. Interaction skills will enable you to communication with greater ease, comfort, and effectiveness whether you're proposing a life-long relationship or apologizing for some transgression.

When you operate in your own primary territory, you have an advantage, often called the

home field advantage

Self-destructive beliefs

ideas you have about yourself that are unproductive or that make it more difficult for you to achieve your goals. Often tell you that you SHOULD be able to achieve unrealistic goals Examples: I SHOULD be liked by everyone, I SHOULD be successful in everything i do, I SHOULD always win, I SHOULD be totally in control of my life, I SHOULD always be productive- replace these with more realistic goals

If you affirm yourself...

if you tell yourself that you're a success, that others like you, that will will success on the next test, and that you will be welcomed when asking for a date- you will soon come to feel more positive about yourself.

Physhological time

important implication for both your college and your professional cafe. you develop depends to a great extend on your socioeconomic class and your personal experiences

Communication is ... Inevitable (Inevitability)

in interactional situations it is always taking pace, even when a person may not intend or want to communicate.

Signal-to-noise ratio

in this term signal refers to information that you'd fine useful, and noise refers to information that is useless (to you). Example: a post or feed that contains lots of useful information is high on signal and low on noise; one that contains lots of useless information is high on noise and low on signal

Physical barriers

include hearing impairment, a noisy environment, or loud music

Attractiveness

includes both visual appeal and pleasantness of personality, is a part of body communication. Have an advantage in just about every activity you can name

Heterosexist speech

includes derogatory terms used for lesbians and gay men

A useful antidote to indiscrimination is the extensional device called the ____________, a spoken or mental subscript that identifies each individual in a group as an individual even though all members of the group may be covered by the same label

index

Large blind self

indicates low self-awareness and interferes with accurate communication.

Self-disclosure occurs in all forms of communication including..

interpersonal small-group settings public speeches television talk face-to-face setting internet social network sites- twitter, facebook personal e-mails newsgroups blog posts

Institutional sexism

involved consume and practices that discriminate against people of their gender - example paying women less than men for the same job or granting child custody to the mother rather than the father

Individual sexism

involves prejudicial attitudes about men or women based on rigid beliefs about gender roles - may include the notion that all women should be caretakers, should be sensitive at all times and should acquiesce to men's decisions concerning political or financial matters and men are insensitive, interested only in sex, and incapable of communicating feelings

Cultural Context

involves the lifestyles, beliefs, values, behavior, and communication of a group; it is the rules of a group of people for considering something right or wrong.

Disconfirmation

is a communication pattern in which we ignore someone's presence as well as that person's communications - not worth serious attention or effort

Stereotype

is a fixed impression of a group of people.

Interviewing

is a form of interpersonal communication that proceeds by question and answer. Through interviewing you learn about others and what they know, counsel or get counseling from others, and get or don't get the job you want. (Takes place through email, phone conferencing, or video conferencing with Skype)

Computer-mediated Communication

is a general term that includes all forms of communication between people that take place through some kind of computer whether it's on your smartphone or via a standard Internet connection as in social media (Facebook, Twitter, etc- emailing, blogging, instant messaging). Through this text, we'll make frequent reference to the similarities and differences between face-to-face and computer-mediated communication.

Self-esteem

is a measure of how valuable you think you are.

Metamessages

is a message that refers to another message; it is communication about communication. Example: remarks such as "this statement is false" or "do you understand what I am trying to tell you" refer to communication and are therefore "metacommunicational"

Temporal Context

is a message's position within a sequence of events; you don't talk the same way after someone tells you about the death of a close relative as you do after someone reveals they've won the lottery.

Self-fullfilling prophecy

is a prediction that comes true because you act on it as if it were true. Occurs in such widely different situations a parent-child relationships, educational settings, and business. Consists of four basic steps.

Mindfulness

is a state of awareness in which you're conscious of your reasons for thinking or behaving

Noise

is anything that interferes with your receiving a message.

Self-awareness

is basic to all communication and is achieved when you examine several aspects of yourself as they might appear to others as well as to you

Small-group Communication (Team Communication)

is communication among groups or five to ten people and may take place face-to-face or, increasingly, in virtual space. Through this you interact with others, solve problems, develop new ideas, and share knowledge and experiences.

Public Communication

is communication between a speaker and an audience. Through this a speaker will inform and persuade you. And you, in turn, inform and persuade others- to act, to buy, or to think in a particular way. Much as you can address large audiences face-to-face, you also can address such audiences electronically (social networks, newsgroups, or blogs such as posting you "speech" for anyone to read and then read their reactions to your message.

Nonverbal communication

is communication without words. You communicate this when you gesture, smile or frown, widen your eyes, move your chair closer to someone else's, were jewelry, touch someone, raise your vocal volume, or even say nothing

Gender

is considered a cultural variable largely because cultures teach boys and girls different attitudes, beliefs, values, and ways of communicating and relating to one another.

Physiological Noise

is created by barriers within the sender or receiver. Examples: visual impairments, hearing loss, articulation problems, and memory loss

Institutional heterosexism

is easy to identify - the ban on gay marriage in many states and the fact that at this time only a handful of states allow gay marriage is a good example of this

Smell (olfactory communication)

is extremely important in a wide variety of situations and is now big business. Humans possess so many scent glands, it has been argued that it only remains for us to discover how we use scent to communicate a wide variety of messages

Feedforward Messages

is information you provide before sending your primary messages. It reveals something about the messages to come and includes, for example, the preface or table of contents of a book, a Facebook profile, movie previews, magazine covers, email subject, caller ID, can be verbal "wait till you hear this one", or nonverbal (a prolonged pause or hands motioning for silence to signal that an important message is about to be spoken.

Physical Noise

is interference that is external to both speaker and listen; it interferes with the physical transmission of the signal or message. Examples: screeching of passing cars, hum of a computer, sunglasses, blurred type or fonts too small, misspelling, poor grammar, pop-up ads

Semantic Noise

is interference that occurs when the speaker and listener have different meaning systems; it would Examples: language or dialectical differences, the use of jargon or overly complex terms, and ambiguous or overly abstract terms whose meaning can be easily misinterpreted.

Touch communication (or tactile communication)

is perhaps the most primitive form of nonverbal communication. This develops before the other senses.

Racist speech

is speech that puts down, minimizes, and marginalizes a person or group because of their race - expresses racist attitudes and contributes to the development of racist attitudes in those who use or hear the language

Silence

is the absence of sound but no of communication

Intrapersonal Communication

is the communication you have with yourself- when you talk with, learn about, and judge yourself. You persuade yourself of this or that, reason about possible decisions to make, and rehearse messages that you plan to send to others.

Paralanguage

is the goal but nonverbal dimension of speech. It has to do with how you say something rather than what you say.

Confirmation

is the opposite of disconfirmation - you not only acknowledge the presence of the other person but also indicate your acceptance of this person, of this person's self-definition, and of your relationship as defined or viewed by this other person

Extensional orientation

is the opposite: the tendency to look first at the actual people, objects, and events and then at the labels - to be guided by what you see happening rather than by the way something or someone is talked about Focus first on the specific objects, person, or event and then on the way in which the object, person or event is talked about

Punctuation of communication

is the segmenting of the continuous steam or communication into small pieces. Some these pieces you label causes (stimuli) and others effects (responses)

Connotation

is the subjective or emotional meaning that specific speakers or listeners give a word (migrants vs immigrants-pg 74)

Physical Context

is the tangible or concrete environment, the room, park, or auditorium, you don't talk the same way at a noisy football game as you do at a quiet funeral.

Rejection

is when you disagree with the person; you indicate your unwillingness to accept something the other person says or does. However, you do not deny that person's significance - this is not the same as disconfirmation

Self-concept

is your image of who you are. it's how you perceive yourself: your feelings and thoughts about your strengths and weaknesses, your abilities and limitations. Develops from the image that others have of you, comparisons between yourself and others, your cultural experiences, and your evaluation of your own thoughts and behaviors.

Perception

is your way of understanding the world; it helps you make sense of what William James called the "booming buzzing confusion"

The body communicates with movements and gestures and just by its general appearance, an area of nonverbal communication referred to as

kinesics

Temporal communicsgion

known technically as chronemics, concerns the use of time- how you organize it, react to it, and communicate message through it

Sexist language

language that disparages someone because of his or her gender (usually language derogatory towards women)

Ways to increase your self-awareness

listen to others increase your open self seek information about yourself dialogue with yourself

Lack of appropriate focus

listeners often get lost because they focus on irrelevancies, such as an especially vivid example that conures up old memories

Turn-taking cues

may be verbal (as when you say, "what do you think" and thereby give the speaking tern over to the listen) but most often, are nonverbal (a nod of the head in the direction of someone else, for example, signals that you're ready to give up your speaking tern and win this other person to say something.

Public distance

measuring from 12 to 25 feet or more, protects you. At this distance you could take defensive action if threatened.

Feedback

members of some cultures give very direct and very honest feedback.

Gender and listening

men and women learn different styles of listening, just as they learn different styles for using verbal and nonverbal messages

Content and relationship dimensions of communication

message referring to something external to both speaker and listener or to the relationship between speaker and listener

Nonverbal behavior may also be

metacommunicational. Examples: crossing fingers behind your back while lying, lack of smile while saying "I had a really great time"

Choice Points

moments when you have to make a choice as to whom yu communicate, what you say, what you don't say, how you phrase what you want to say, and so on.

Internet communication has very specific rules for politeness called...

netiquette

Psychomotor Effects

new bodily movements, such as how to throw a curve ball, paint a picture, give a compliment or express surprise

Affective Effects

new feelings, attitudes, or beliefs or change existing ones

Complement

nonverbal communcation may be used to complement, to add nuances of meaning not communicated by your verbal message Example: smiling while telling a story (suggesting you find it humorous) or frown and shake your head when recounting someone's deceit (suggesting your disapproval)

disinhibition effect

occurs in online communication. Seeming less inhibited in communicating in e-mail r in social media, than we do in face-to-face.

Responding

occurs in two forms: 1) responses you make while the speaker is talking and 2) responses you make after the speaker has stopped talking

Understanding

occurs when you decode the speaker's signals and grasp both the thoughts that are expressed and the emotional tone that accompanies them Example: the urgency, joy, or sorrow expressed in this message

Interpersonal Communication

occurs when you interact with a person with whom you have some ind of relationship. Interact with others, learn about them and yourself, and reveal yourself to others. Example: New acquaintances, old friends, lovers, family members, or colleagues- it's through this communication you establish, maintain, sometime destroy, and sometimes repair personal relationships.

Fundamental attribution error

occurs when you overvalue the contribution of internal factors (boss's personality) and undervalue the influence of external factors (context or situation the person is in). This type of error leads you to conclude that people do what they do because that's how they are, not because of the situation they are in.

Politeness

often thought of as the exclusive function of the speaker, s solely an encoding or sending function but may also be signaled through listening

Tactile Channel

often touch one another

Communication is ... Irreversibile (Irreversibility)

once you say something or click "send" on your e-mail, you cannot communicate that message.

Interloper

one who tries to gain entrance to a group to which one really doesn't belong by using "code switching"

Your Four Selves

open self blind self unknown self hidden self

Abstraction

or general conception - example entertainment

Listening to others to gain self-awareness

others are constantly giving you the very feedback you need to increases. Everything interaction, people comment on you in some way- on what you do, what you say, how you look, etc.

Grammatical Ambiguity

paraphrasing - reframing in your own words Example: the sentence "flying planes can be dangerous" can be interpreted "to fly planes is dangerous" or "planes that fly can be dangerous"

Cultural Diversity

people should retain their native cultural ways

Attraction messages

people us perfumes, colognes, aftershave lotions, powders, and the like in an effort to enhance attractiveness. When you smell pleasant you feel better, when you smell bad you feel less good about yourself

"booming buzzing confusion"

perception is the process by which you become aware of objects, events, and especially people through your senses of sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing. Your perceptions result both from what exists in the outside world and from your own experiences, desires, needs and wants, loves and hatreds.

Nourishing people

positive and optimistic, make you feel good about yourself

P-E-T technique (Parent Effectiveness Training)

process of sending back to the speaker what you as a listener think the speaker meant- both in content and in feeling

Edward T. Hall, who pioneered the study of spatial communication, called this study

proxemics

Social distance

ranging from 4 to 12 feed, you lose the visual detail you have at personal distance. Distance you conduct personal business and interact at a social gathering.

Intimate distance

ranging from touching to 18 inches apart, the presence of the other individual is unmistakable. Experiencing the sound, smell, and feel of the other's breath. Distance so short, most people do not consider it proper in public

The terms confirmation and disconfirmation

refer to the extent to which you acknowledge another person

Polarization

referred to as the fallacy of "either/or" and is the tendency to look at the world and to describe it in terms of extremes - good or bad, positive or negative, healthy or sick, brilliant or stupid, rip or poor, and so on.

False memory syndrome

refers to a phenomenon in which you "remember" past experiences that never actually occurred

Interpersonal time

refers to a wide variety of time related elements that figure into interpersonal interaction.

Assertiveness

refers to a willlingness to stand up for your rights but with respect for the rights of others

Individual heterosexism

refers to attitudes, behaviors, and language that disparage gay men and lesbians and include the belief that all sexual behavior that is not heterosexual is unnatural and deserving of criticism and condemnation

Punctuality

refers to being on time for a variety of occasions- for company meetings, for class, for teacher-student appointments, for a ball game, for a movie or television show, and for completing assignments

Mass Communication

refers to communication from one source to many receivers who may be scattered through the world. Newspapers, magazines, radio, television, and film are the major mass media.

Physiological Noise

refers to mental interferene in the speaker or listener. Examples: preconceived ideas, wandering thoughts, biases, prejudices, close-mindedness, extreme emotionalism.

Lying

refers to the act of sending message with the intention of giving another person information you believe to be false

Wait time

refers to the amount of time it's considered appropriate to wait for something. Generally the rule is that you'd wait longer for higher status people than for lower status people. Manager vs colleague

Impostor phenomenon

refers to the disregard outward signs of success and to consider yourself an "impostor" a fake, a fraud, one who doesn't really deserve to be considered successful. Even though others may believe you are a success, you "know" that they are wrong.

Impression formation (person perception)

refers to the processes you go through in forming an impression of another person- whether it's the student sitting next to you in class or looking at a person's Facebook page.

Impression management

refers to the processes you go through to communicate the impression you want other people to have of you

Impression management

refers to the processes you use to give others the impression you want them to have

Intensional orientation

refers to the tendency to view people, objects, and events in terms of how they're talked about or labeled rather than in terms of how they actually exist Occurs when you act as if the words and labels were more important than the things they represent

Response time

refers to the time it takes you to respond. Observed in both synchronous and asynchronous communication. Example: there should be very little response lag between "will you marry me" and "yes" but if in another sense some kind of disagreement or lack of certainty with make for a long response time

Relationships time

refers to the time you give or should give to the various people with whom you have a relationship with.

Code Switching

refers to using more than one language in a conversation, often in the same sentence. (using different language styles depending on the situation)

Behavioral self-esteem

refers to verbal and nonverbal behaviors such as your disclosures, your assertiveness, your conflict strategies your gestures Example: "do you allow yourself to take advantage of you?" "do you assert yourself in group situations" "are you confident to disclose who you really are?"

Affective self-esteem

refers to your analysis of your own strengths and weaknesses. Example: "do you feel pleased with yourself" "does your analysis lead you to feel dissatisfied and perhaps depressed?"

Cognitive self-awareness

refers to your thinking about your strengths and weaknesses, about who you are versus who you'd like to be. Example: "what is your ideal self" "how close are you to achieving this ideal self?"

Verbal messages

rely on the rules of grammar. You can't just make up sounds or words or string words together at random and expect to be understood

Secure affirmation

remind yourself of your successes with affirmations - that you focus on your good deeds, positive qualities, strengths, and virtues, and on your product and meaningful relationships with friends, family and loved ones.

Open self

represents all the information, behaviors, attitudes, and feelings about yourself hat you, and also others, know. The size of this can vary according to your personality and the people to whom you're relating with. Example: large open self about romantic life with friends, very small open self with parents

Hidden self

represents all the knowledge you have of yourself but keep secret from others. Example: secrets, fantasies, embarrassing experiences, and any attitudes or beliefs you want to keep private.

Blind self

represents knowledge about you that others have but you don't. Example: habit of finishing other people's sentences or you way of rubbing your noise when you become anxious.

Unknown self

represents those parts of yourself that neither you nor others know. This is information build in your subconscious. Example: learning about obsessions, fears, or kind of lover you are through hypnosis, dreams, psychological tests, etc.

Increase your open self to gain self-awareness

revealing yourself to others. talk about yourself, you may see connections that you had previously missed.

Ways social media enables you to find out how you and in comparison with others

search engine reports network spread online influence twitter activities blog presence

Seek out nourishing people

seek out nourishing people and avoid noxious people. Seek to become more nourishing yourself so that you can build others self-esteem while improving your own

Boundary markers

serve to divide you territory from that of others. Example: the bar placed between grocery at the supermarket and armrests that separate your seat from the other side

Tie signs

signals that communicate your relationship status are knowns as __________. They indicate the ways in which your relationship is tied together. Also confirm the level of the relationships. Very in intimacy and may extend from the relatively information handshake through more intimate forms such as hand holding, arm linking and kissing.

Identification messages

smell is often used to create an image or an identity fora product. Advertisers and manufacturers spend billions of dollars each year creating scents for cleaning products and toothpastes, which have nothing to do with products cleaning power, instead they function solely to create an image for the products

Masculine cultures

socialize people to be assertive, ambitious, and competitive Example: confront conflicts directly and to fight out any differences

Feminine cultures

socialize people to be modest and to value close interpersonal relationships. Example: emphasize compromise and negotiation in resolving conflicts

Indirect messages

sound more polite because they allow receivers to maintain autonomy and provide an acceptable way for the person to refuse your request Allow you dot express a desire w/o insulting or offending anyone; they allow you to observe the rules of polite interactions

Contact cultures

southern Europe and the Middle East. Maintain close distances, touch each other in conversation, face each other more directly, and maintain longer and more focused eye contact

When you retain a judgment of a person, despite the inevitable changes in the person, you're engaging in

static evaluation

I-messages

stating your thoughts and feelings as your own Example: "I don't agree" rather than "no-one will agree with that"

Polychronic people or cultures

such as those in Latin Americas, Mediterranean people and arabs - schedule multiple things at the same time. Eating, conducting business with several different people, and taking care of family matters all may occur at the same time.`

Monochronism people or cultures

such as those of the US, Germany, etc - schedule on thing at a time. In these cultures theme is compartmentalized an there is a time for everything.

Affinity-seeking strategies

such strategies are especially important in initial interactions, and their use by teachers has even been found to increase student motivation -Appear active, enthusiastic, and dynamic -Follow the cultural rules for polite, cooperative, respectful conversation -Communicate interest in the other person and include him/her in your groupings -Present yourself as comfortable and relaxed -Stimulate and encourage the other person to talk about him/her self. Self-disclose yourself. -Appear optimistic and positive rather than pessimistic and negative. -Appear honest, reliable, and interesting -Arrange circumstances so that you and the other person come into frequent contact -Communicate warmth, supportiveness, and empathy -Demonstrate that you share significant attitudes and values with other person.

Messages

take many forms and are transmitted or received through one or more sensory organs or a combination of them

Institutional racism

takes forms such as communities school segregation, companies reluctance to hire members of minority groups, and banks unwillingness to extend loans to members of some ethnic groups or readiness to charge these groups higher interest rates

Individual racism

takes the form of negative attitudes and beliefs held about specific races - assumptions that certain races are intellectually inferior to others or incapable of particular types of achievements are clear examples of this

Content Messages

talking about more things external to the relationship

Relationship Messages

talking more about relationships in general and about the present relationship

Facial management techniques

techniques that enable you to express feelings while achieving certain desired effects Example: to hide certain emotions and to emphasize others- to intensify (surprise party), to de-intensify (cover up own good news because others didn't receive the same), to neutralize (cover up your sadness to not depress others), to mask (smiling to cover up disappointment), and to stimulate (expressing emotions you don't feel)

"solution messages"

tell the person how he or she should feel or what he or she should do

Extensional device

that can help you avoid illness is to end each statement, sometimes verbally but always mentally, with an et cetera (etc.) - a reminder that there is more to learn, know, and say; that ever statement is inevitably incomplete

Anonymous messages

the author is not identified (questionnaires, online ratings, e-mail sites) -allows people to vote opinions that may be unpopular and may thus encourage greater honesty and openness (inner feelings, fears, hopes, dreams with a depth of feeling that they may be otherwise reluctant to do) -downside: may encourage people to go to extremes (no consequences) voice opinions that are outrageous - you can't evaluate the credibility of the sources

Onymous messages

the author of the message is clearly identified, as it is in your textbooks, news-related editorials, feature articles, and of course when you communicate face-to-face and, usually, by phone or chat. You have the opportunity to respond directly to the speaker/write and voice your options, your agreement or disagreement.

Just world hypothesis

the belief that the world is just: Good things happen to good people (because they're good) and bad things happen to bad people (because they're bad).

Models (representations) or theories

the communication process was through to be linear

To guard against static evaluation, use a device called _________________, a mental subscript that enables you to look at your statement in the context of time

the date

Mental distractions

the form of thinking about your upcoming Saturday night date or becoming too emotional to think (and listen) clearly

Assimilationist Perspective

the idea that people should leave their native culture behind and adapt to their new culture

Color communication

the idea that the colors with which people surround themselves affect them physiologically and influence perceptions of people and things Example: respiration rates increase i the presence of red light and decrease in the presence of blue light

Short-term memory

the memory you use, say, to remember a phone number just long enough to dial it very limited in capacity- you can hold only a small amount of information there

Self-interpretations

the reconstruction of your behavior in a gen event and your understanding of it

Ethics

the study of good, and bad, of right and wrong

Haptics

the study of touch communication

Self-evalutations

the value- good or bad -that you place on that behavior

When you communicate electronically, you message is _____________ by means of typed letters without facial expressions or gestures that normally accompany face-to-face communication and without the changes in rate and volume that are a part of normal spoken communication

transmitted

Phatic Communication

type of feed ward messaging such as "small talk" that opens to way for "big talk". Including "how are you" and "nice weather" greetings that are designed to maintain rapport and friendly relationships.

Critical listening

type of listening that involves thinking logically and dispassionately about (example: stories your friend tells you or the sales pitch of the car dealer)

Long-term memory

type of memory that is unlimited

Direct messages

usually less polite than indirect messages "write me a recommendations" vs " do you think you could write a recommendation for me"

Civil inattention

when you avoid eye contact or avert your glance, you help others maintain their privacy Example: when you see a couple arguing in public, you turn away (though your eyes are wide open) as if you're saying "I don't mean to intrude; i respect your privacy"

Feedback Messages

when you send a message - say, in speaking to another person - you also hear yours. That is, you get feedback from your own messages; you hear what you say, you feel the way you move, you see what you write. You can also get feedback from others (frown, smile, yea, nay, poke back, retweet, pat on the back, punch in the face, etc.) Speaker may adjust, modify, strengthen, deemphasize or change the content or form of the messages based on feedback of other person.

Talk time

who initiates and who terminates a conversation, who talks more, who selects and directs the topics for discussion. The higher status person who makes the decisions but

Gender differences in politeness - research finds

women are more polite and more indirect in giving order than men men are more likely to be indirect when they express weakness, reveal a problem, or admit an error woman express empathy, sympathy, and supportiveness more than men & apologize more

Snarl and purr words

words used to clarify further the distinction between denotation and connotation. Seem to have a denotative meaning and refer to the "real world" but are actually connotative in meaning. Do not describe objective realities but rather express the speaker's feelings about people or events.

Selective attention

you attend to those thins that you anticipate will fulfill your needs or will prove enjoyable. Example: daydreaming in class, you don't hear what the instructor is saying until he or she calls your name (selective attention mechanic focuses your senses on the sound of your name)

Self-serving bias

you commit the ________ when you take credit for the positive and deny responsibility for the negative. (getting an A on an exam-hard work, intelligence, getting a D on an exam-blame was difficult, room mates party night before)

Biases and prejudices

you hear what the speaker is saying through stereotypes - occurs when you listen differently to a person because of his or her race, affectional orientation, age, or gender, when these characteristics are irrelevant to the message

Mindlessness

you lack conscious awareness of what or how you're thinking

Receiving

you note not only what is said (verbally and nonverbally) but also what is omitted. Example: you receive not only the politicians summary of accomplishments in education but also his or her omission of failures in health care or pollution control

Ethnic Identity

you self-identity as a member of the group, you embrace (largely) the attitudes and beliefs of the group and behave as a member of the group (perhaps celebrating ethnic holidays or preparing ethnic foods)

Selective exposure

you tend to expose yourself to information that will confirm your existing beliefs, will contribute to your objectives, or will prove satisfying in some way. Also will avoid information that would tell you that you made the wrong decision.

Low self-esteem

you tend to view yourself negatively

High self-esteem

you think highly of yourself

Accordingly to the concept of the looking-glass self..

you'd look at the image of yourself that others reveal to you through the way they communicate with you Example: family members, romantic partners, friends, etc.