chapter 6 early childhood Psychosocial Development

AGGRESSION

Not surprisingly, given their moral sensibilities, young children judge whether another child's aggression is justified or not. The focus is on effects, not motives: A child who accidentally spilled water on another's painting may be the target of that child's justified anger. As with adults, impulsive self-defense is more readily forgiven than is a deliberate, unprovoked attack. As young children gain in social understanding, particularly theory of mind, they gradually become better at understanding intentions, and that makes them more likely to forgive an accident (Choe et al., 2013a). The distinction between impulse and intention is critical in deciding when and how a child's aggression needs to be stopped. Researchers recognize four general types of aggression, each of which is evident in early childhood (see Table 6.2). Instrumental aggression is common among 2-year-olds, who often want something and try to get it. This is called instrumental because it is a tool, or instrument, for getting something that is desired. The harm in grabbing a toy, and hitting if someone resists, is not understood by the child. instrumental aggression Hurtful behavior that is intended to get something that another person has. Because instrumental aggression occurs, reactive aggression also is common among young children. Almost every child reacts when hurt, whether or not the hurt was deliberate. The reaction may be aggressive—a child might punch in response to an unwelcome remark—but as the prefrontal cortex matures, the impulse to strike back becomes controlled. Both instrumental aggression and reactive aggression are less often physical when children develop emotional regulation and theory of mind (Olson et al., 2011). reactive aggression An impulsive retaliation for another person's intentional or accidental hurtful action. Relational aggression (usually verbal) destroys self-esteem and disrupts social networks. A child might tell another, "You can't be my friend" or "You are fat," hurting another's feelings. Worse, a child might spread rumors, or tell others not to play with so-and-so. These are examples of relational aggression, which becomes more hurtful and sometimes more common as social understanding advances. relational aggression Nonphysical acts, such as insults or social rejection, aimed at harming the social connection between the victim and other people. The fourth and most ominous type is bullying aggression, done to dominate. Bullying aggression occurs among young children but should be stopped before kindergarten, when it becomes more destructive. Not only does it destroy the self-esteem of victims, it impairs the later development of the bullies, who learn habits that harm them lifelong. A 10-year-old bully may be feared and admired; a 50-year-old bully may be hated and lonely. (An in-depth discussion of bullying appears in Chapter 8.) bullying aggression Unprovoked, repeated physical or verbal attack, especially on victims who are unlikely to defend themselves. Most types of aggression become less common from ages 2 to 6, as the brain matures and empathy increases. In addition, children learn to use aggression selectively, which decreases victimization (Ostrov et al., 2014). Parents, peers, and preschool teachers are pivotal mentors in this learning process. It is a mistake to expect children to regulate their emotions on their own. If they are not guided, they may develop destructive patterns. It is also a mistake to punish aggressors too harshly because that may increase reactive aggression and make it hard for them to learn to regulate their anger. In other words, although there is evidence that children spontaneously judge others who harm people, there also is evidence that prosocial and antisocial behavior are learned (Smetana, 2013). Who teaches them? Parents, peers, and teachers. Close teacher-student relationships in preschool decrease aggression and victimization in elementary school. The probable reason: Children want to please the teachers, who guide them toward prosocial, not antisocial, behavior (Runions & Shaw, 2013).

Motivation

Motivation is the impulse that propels someone to act. It comes either from a person's own desires or from the social context. Intrinsic motivation arises from within, when people do something for the joy of doing it: A musician might enjoy making music even if no one else hears it; the sound is intrinsically rewarding. Intrinsic motivation is thought to advance creativity, innovation, and emotional well-being (Weinstein & DeHaan, 2014). intrinsic motivation A drive, or reason to pursue a goal, that comes from inside a person, such as the joy of reading a good book. All of Erikson's psychosocial needs—including the young child's initiatives—are intrinsic: A child feels inwardly compelled to act. This is very evident to adults, especially when they are in a hurry as they walk with a child: Their young companions may jump up to balance walking along a ledge, stop to throw a snowball, or pick up a piece of junk to explore, slowing down progress because of their internal motivation. Extrinsic motivation comes from outside the person, when external praise or some other reinforcement is the goal, such as when a musician plays for applause or money. Social rewards are powerful lifelong: Four-year-olds brush their teeth because they are praised, sometimes even rewarded with musical toothbrushes and tasty toothpaste. extrinsic motivation A drive, or reason to pursue a goal, that arises from the wish to have external rewards, perhaps by earning money or praise. If an extrinsic reward is removed, the behavior may stop unless it has become a habit. Young children might not brush their teeth if parents do not seem to care that they do so. For most of us, tooth brushing was extrinsically rewarded for long enough that it eventually became a habit, and then motivation is intrinsic. As an adult, because tooth brushing has become a comforting routine, if you skip it, your mouth feels mossy. Intrinsic motivation is evident in childhood. Young children play, question, exercise, create, destroy, and explore for the sheer joy of it. That serves them well. For example, a longitudinal study found that 3-year-olds who were strong in intrinsic motivation were, two years later, advanced in early math and literacy (Mokrova et al., 2013). The probable reason: They enjoyed counting things and singing songs—when alone. In contrast, exaggerated external praise ("your drawing is amazingly wonderful") undercuts motivation (Brummelman et al., 2017). If young children believe the praise, they might be afraid to try again, thinking they will not be able to do as well. If they suspect that the praise was inaccurate, they may discount the entire activity. When playing a game, few young children keep score; intrinsic joy is the goal, more than winning. In fact, young children often claim to have won when objective scoring would say they lost; in this case, the children may really be winners. Intrinsic motivation is also apparent when children invent dialogues for their toys, concentrate on creating a work of art or architecture, or converse with imaginary friends. Invisible companions are rarely encouraged by adults (thus, no extrinsic motivation), but many 2- to 7-year-olds have them. An international study of 3- to 8-year-olds found that about one child in five said that they had one or more invisible companions, with notable variation by culture: 38 percent of children in the Dominican Republic, but only 5 percent in Nepal, said they had such a friend (Wigger, 2017). Is that because some cultures discourage imagination, so some children did not tell adults about their imaginary friends?

BRAIN MATURATION

The new initiative that Erikson described results from myelination of the limbic system, growth of the prefrontal cortex, and a longer attention span—all results of neurological maturation. Emotional regulation and cognitive maturation develop together, each enabling the other to advance (Bell & Calkins, 2011; Lewis, 2013; Bridgett et al., 2015). Normally, with the brain maturation that occurs at about age 4 or 5, and as family and preschool experiences guide them, the capacity for self-control, such as not opening a present immediately if asked to wait and not expressing disappointment at an undesirable gift, becomes more evident. Consider the most recent time you gave someone a gift. If the receiver was a young child, you probably could tell whether the child liked the present. If the receiver was an adult, you may not be so sure (Galak et al., 2016). You may be familiar with the famous marshmallow test, which now has longitudinal results (Mischel et al., 1972; Mischel, 2014). Children could eat one marshmallow immediately or eat two if they waited—sometimes as long as 15 minutes. Those who waited used various tactics—they looked away, closed their eyes, or sang to themselves. Young children who delayed gobbling up one marshmallow became more successful as teenagers, young adults, and even middle-aged adults—doing well in college, for instance, and having happy marriages. Of course, this is correlation, not causation: Some impatient preschoolers nonetheless became successful adults. However, emotional regulation predicts academic achievement and later success. Maturation matters. Three-year-olds are poor at impulse control. They improve by age 6. Learning matters. In the zone of proximal development, children learn from mentors, who offer tactics for delaying gratification. Culture matters. In the United States, many parents tell their children not to be afraid; in Japan, they tell them not to brag; in the Netherlands, not to be moody. Children regulate their emotions in accord with their culture. Some of these cultural differences are apparent between nations. In the marshmallow test, children from the Nso people of Cameroon were far better able to wait than the California children in Mischel's original experiment (Lamm et al., 2017). In the United States, when children experienced an unreliable examiner (who previously had reneged on a promise) they ate the marshmallow right away (Kidd et al., 2013). The studies suggest that the ability to delay gratification is not innate; it is a result of parents who do, or do not, keep their promises. That produces adults who expect their efforts to be rewarded. Brain plasticity is evident. Children strengthen and develop their neuronal connections in response to the emotions of other people. The process is reciprocal and dynamic: Anger begets anger, which leads again to anger; joy begets joy, and so on. This synergy of emotional regulation was found in brain scans when 3-year-olds did a puzzle with their mothers. When the mothers became frustrated, the children did too—and vice versa. As the scientists explain, "mothers and children regulate or deregulate each other" (Atzaba-Poria et al., 2017, p. 551). The practical application benefits adults as well as children. If a happy young boy runs to you, try to laugh, pick him up, and swing him around; if a grinning young girl drums on the table, try to catch the rhythm and pound in return, smiling broadly. Your stress hormones will be reduced and your endorphins will increase. Of course, reciprocal joy is not always possible, but since emotions are infectious, catch the good ones and drop the bad ones.

Preventing Harm

For accidents, child abuse, and child neglect, the ultimate goal is primary prevention, a social network of customs and supports that help parents, neighbors, and professionals protect every child. Neighborhood stability, parental education, income support, and fewer unwanted children all reduce injury. All of these are primary prevention. Such measures are more effective in the long run, but governments and private foundations are more likely to fund projects that focus on high-risk families (Nelson & Caplan, 2014). The media's focus on shocking examples of parental abuse or social worker neglect ignores the many ways families, communities, and professionals stop harm before it begins. Secondary prevention involves spotting warning signs and intervening to keep a risky situation from getting worse. For example, insecure attachment, especially of the disorganized type, is a sign of a disrupted parent-child relationship. Thus, insecure attachment should be repaired before it becomes harmful by leading to abuse, neglect, or lack of supervision. [Life-Span Link: Attachment types are explained in detail in Chapter 4.] Tertiary prevention limits harm after injury has occurred. Reporting is the first step; investigating and substantiating is second. The final step, however, is helping the caregiver provide better care. That may include treating addiction, assigning a housekeeper, locating family helpers, securing better living quarters, and helping the child recover, with special medical, psychological, or education assistance, either with the same family or another one where better care is available. The priority must be child protection. In every case, permanency planning is needed: planning how to nurture the child until adulthood (Scott et al., 2013). Uncertainty, moving, a string of temporary placements, and frequent changes in schools are all destructive. When children are taken from their parents and entrusted to another adult, that is called foster care. The other adult might be a stranger or might be a relative, in which case it is called kinship care. Foster care sometimes is informal—a grandmother provides custodial care because the parents do not—or may result from Child Protective Services provided by the government. Every year for the past decade in the United States, almost half a million children have been officially in foster care. At least another million are unofficially in kinship care, because relatives realize that the parents are unable or unwilling to provide good care. foster care When a person (usually a child) is cared for by someone other than the parents. kinship care A form of foster care in which a relative, usually a grandmother, becomes the approved caregiver. Most foster children are from low-income, ethnic-minority families—a statistic that reveals problems in the macrosystem as well as the microsystem. In the United States, most foster children have physical, intellectual, and emotional problems that arose in their original families—evidence of their abuse and neglect (Jones & Morris, 2012). Obviously, foster parents need much more than financial subsidies to provide good care for such children.

ALTERNATIVES TO SPANKING

If spanking is bad but discipline is good, what is a parent to do? Some employ psychological control, using children's shame, guilt, and gratitude to control their behavior (Barber, 2002). But this has its own problems (Alegre, 2011). psychological control A disciplinary technique that involves threatening to withdraw love and support, using a child's feelings of guilt and gratitude to the parents. Consider Finland, where corporal punishment is forbidden. In one study, psychological control was measured by how much parents agreed with the following statements: "My child should be aware of how much I have done for him/her." "I let my child see how disappointed and shamed I am if he/she misbehaves." "My child should be aware of how much I sacrifice for him/her." "I expect my child to be grateful and appreciate all the advantages he/she has." The higher the parents scored on these four measures of psychological control, the lower the children's math scores were—and this connection grew stronger over time. Moreover, the children tended to have negative emotions (depression, anger, and so on) (Aunola et al., 2013). Another disciplinary technique often used in North America is the time-out, in which a misbehaving child is required to sit quietly, without toys or playmates, for a short time. Time-out is not to be done in anger, or for too long; it is recommended that parents use a calm voice and that the time-out last only one to five minutes (Morawska & Sanders, 2011). Time-out is punishment if the child enjoys "time-in," when the child is engaged with parents or with peers. time-out A disciplinary technique in which a person is separated from other people and activities for a specified time. Time-out is favored by many experts. For example, in the large, longitudinal evaluation of the Head Start program highlighted in Chapter 5, an increase in time-outs and a decrease in spankings were considered signs of improved parental discipline (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2010). However, the same team who criticized the correlation between spanking and misbehavior also criticized the research favoring time-out. They added, "misbehavior is motivated by wanting to escape from the situation . . . time-out reinforces the misbehavior" (Larzelere & Cox, 2013, p. 289). Often combined with the time-out is another alternative to physical punishment and psychological control—induction, in which the parents discuss the infraction with their child, hoping the children themselves will realize why their behavior was wrong. Ideally, a strong and affectionate parent-child relationship allows children to express their emotions and parents to listen. induction A disciplinary technique in which the parent tries to get the child to understand why a certain behavior was wrong. Listening, not lecturing, is crucial. Induction takes time and patience. Children confuse causes with consequences and tend to think they behaved properly, given the situation. Simple induction ("Why did he cry?") may be appropriate, but even that is hard before a child develops theory of mind. Nonetheless, induction may pay off over time. Children whose parents used induction when they were 3-year-olds became children with fewer externalizing problems in elementary school (Choe et al., 2013b). What do parents actually do? A survey of discipline in early childhood found that most parents use more than one method (Thompson et al., 2017). In the United States, time-out is the most common punishment, and about half of the parents sometimes spank. The survey found that other methods—induction, counting, distraction, hand-smacking, removal of a toy or activity—were also used. Specifics of parenting style and punishment seem less crucial than whether or not children know that they are loved, guided, and appreciated (Grusec et al., 2017). Many parents may seem to be authoritarian, but the crucial variable is how loving and warm they are: If that love is evident, their children may have higher achievement and pride than their peers (Pinquart & Kauser, 2018). Every parent needs to figure out the best way to love and guide their children.

SOCIODRAMATIC PLAY

Another major type of play is sociodramatic play, in which children act out various roles and plots. Through such acting, children: sociodramatic play Pretend play in which children act out various roles and themes in plots or roles that they create. explore and rehearse social roles; learn to explain their ideas and persuade playmates; practice emotional regulation by pretending to be afraid, angry, brave, and so on; and develop self-concept in a nonthreatening context. Sociodramatic play builds on pretending, which emerges in toddlerhood. But remember that solitary pretending does not advance social skills; dramatic play with peers does. As children combine their imagination with that of their friends, they advance in theory of mind (Kavanaugh, 2011). Everywhere, as they age from 2 to 6, children increasingly prefer to play with children of their own sex. For example, a day-care center in Finland allowed extensive free play. The boys often enacted dramas of good guys versus bad guys. In one episode, four boys did so, with Joni as the bad guy. Tuomas directed the drama and acted in it. As with this example, boys' sociodramatic play often includes danger and then victory over evil. By contrast, girls typically act out domestic scenes, with themselves as the adults. In the same day-care center where Joni piled mattresses on his playmates, preparing to burn them, girls said their play is "more beautiful and peaceful . . . [but] boys play all kinds of violent games" (Kalliala, 2006, p. 110). The prevalence of sociodramatic play varies by culture as well as gender, with parents often following cultural norms. Some cultures find make-believe frivolous and discourage it; in other cultures, parents teach toddlers to be lions, or robots, or ladies drinking tea. Then children elaborate on those themes (Kavanaugh, 2011). Many young children are avid television watchers, and they act out superhero themes from their favorite shows. In North America, most children watch screens at least two hours each day. That troubles developmentalists for many reasons. One is simply time—the more children are glued to screens, especially when they have their own hand-held device, the less time they have for active play (see Figure 6.1). Pediatricians, psychologists, and teachers all report extensive research that screen time reduces conversation, imagination, and outdoor activity (Downing et al., 2017). Overall, the American Academy of Pediatrics (2016) recommends no more than an hour a day of any screen time for preschoolers and suggests that supervision should prevent exposure to violent or sexual media, and avoid racist and sexist stereotypes. However, many young children watch more than recommended, unsupervised, not only in the United States but also in other nations.

Discipline

Children misbehave. They do not always do what adults want them to do. Sometimes they do not know better, but sometimes they deliberately ignore a request, even doing exactly what they have been told not to do. Since misbehavior is part of growing up, and since children need guidance to keep them safe and strong, parents must respond. Most do so—rates of punishment increase dramatically from infancy (when it is rare) to early childhood, when most parents use several methods (Thompson et al., 2017). Every form of discipline has critics as well as defenders (Larzelere et al., 2017).

Social Play

Play can be divided into two kinds: solitary pretend play and social play that occurs with playmates. One meta-analysis of the research on both (Lillard et al., 2013) reports that evidence is weak or mixed regarding pretend play but that social play has much to commend it. If social play is prevented, children are less happy and less able to learn. Parents need to find playmates, because even the most playful parent is outmatched by another child at negotiating the rules of tag, at play-fighting, at pretending to be sick, at killing dragons, and so on. As they become better playmates, children learn emotional regulation, empathy, and cultural understanding. Specifics vary, but "play with peers is one of the most important areas in which children develop positive social skills" (Xu, 2010, p. 496).

PROBLEMS WITH THE RESEARCH

Baumrind's classification schema has been criticized, especially because she did not consider differences in cultural norms and child temperament. Developmentalists now believe that each child needs individualized care. For example, fearful children require reassurance, while impulsive ones need strong guidelines. Parents of such children may, to outsiders, seem permissive or authoritarian. Every child needs protection and guidance; some more than others. The right balance depends on the particular child (differential susceptibility again). A study of parenting at age 2 and children's competence in kindergarten (including emotional regulation and friendships) found "multiple developmental pathways," with the best outcomes dependent on both the child and the adult (Blandon et al., 2010). Simplistic advice—from a professional, a neighbor, or a textbook author (me) who does not know the child—may be misguided. Longitudinal, unbiased observation of parent-child interactions is needed before judging that a caregiver is too lax or too rigid. Given a multi-cultural and multi-contextual perspective, developmentalists realize that many parenting practices are sometimes effective. But that does not mean that all families function equally well—far from it. Signs of emotional distress, including a child's anxiety, aggression, and inability to play with others, indicate that the family may not be the safe haven of support and guidance that it should be. Neglectful parenting is always harmful. A detailed study of Mexican American mothers of 4-year-olds noted 1,477 instances when the mothers tried to change their children's behavior. Most of the time the mothers simply uttered a command and the children complied (Livas-Dlott et al., 2010). This simple strategy, with the mother asserting authority and the children obeying without question, might be considered authoritarian. Almost never, however, did the mothers use physical punishment or even harsh threats when the children did not immediately do as they were told—which happened 14 percent of the time. For example: Hailey [the 4-year-old] decided to look for another doll and started digging through her toys, throwing them behind her as she dug. Maricruz [the mother] told Hailey she should not throw her toys. Hailey continued to throw toys, and Maricruz said her name to remind her to stop. Hailey continued her misbehavior, and her mother repeated "Hailey" once more. When Hailey continued, Maricruz raised her voice but calmly directed, "Hailey, look at me." Hailey continued but then looked at Maricruz as she explained, "You don't throw toys; you could hurt someone." Finally, Hailey complied and stopped. [Livas-Dlott et al., 2010, p. 572] Note that the mother's first three efforts failed, and then a "look" accompanied by an explanation (albeit inaccurate in that setting, as no one could be hurt) succeeded. The Mexican American families did not fit any of Baumrind's categories; respect (respeto) for adult authority did not mean an authoritarian relationship. Instead, the relationship shows evident caring (cariño) (Livas-Dlott et al., 2010). As in this example, parenting practices may arise from cultural values that need to be recognized and appreciated (Butler & Titus, 2015). This does not mean that every cultural practice is acceptable. Harsh or cold parenting is always harmful, increasing child anger and aggression no matter what the culture or the nature of the child (Dyer et al., 2014; Wang & Liu, 2018).

BAUMRIND'S CATEGORIES

Although thousands of researchers have traced the effects of parenting on child development, the work of one person, 60 years ago, remains influential. Diana Baumrind (1967, 1971) studied 100 preschool children, all from California, almost all middle-class European Americans. She found that parents differed on four important dimensions: Expressions of warmth. Some parents are warm and affectionate; others are cold and critical. Strategies for discipline. Parents vary in how they explain, criticize, persuade, and punish. Expectations for maturity. Parents vary in expectations for responsibility and self-control. Communication. Some parents listen patiently; others demand silence. On the basis of these dimensions, Baumrind identified three parenting styles (summarized in Table 6.1). A fourth style, not described by Baumrind, was suggested by other researchers. Authoritarian parenting. The authoritarian parent's word is law, not to be questioned. Misconduct brings strict punishment, usually physical. Authoritarian parents set down clear rules and hold high standards. Discussion about emotions and expressions of affection are rare. One adult raised by authoritarian parents said that "How do you feel?" had only two possible answers: "Fine" and "Tired." authoritarian parenting An approach to child rearing that is characterized by high behavioral standards, strict punishment of misconduct, and little communication from child to parent. Permissive parenting. Permissive parents (also called indulgent) make few demands. Discipline is lax, partly because expectations are low. Permissive parents are nurturing and accepting, listening to whatever their offspring say, which may include "I hate you." permissive parenting An approach to child rearing that is characterized by high nurturance and communication but little discipline, guidance, or control. Authoritative parenting. Authoritative parents set limits, but they are flexible. They consider themselves guides, not authorities (unlike authoritarian parents) and not friends (unlike permissive parents). The goal of punishment is for the child to understand what was wrong and what should have been done differently. authoritative parenting An approach to child rearing in which the parents set limits and enforce rules but are flexible and listen to their children. Neglectful/uninvolved parenting. Neglectful parents are oblivious to their children's behavior; they seem not to care. Their children do whatever they want. This is quite different from permissive parents, who care very much. neglectful/uninvolved parenting An approach to child rearing in which the parents seem indifferent toward their children, not knowing or caring about their children's lives. Long-term effects of parenting styles have been reported in many nations. Cultural and regional differences are apparent, but everywhere authoritative parenting seems best (Pinquart & Kauser, 2018). Authoritarian parents raise children who become conscientious, obedient, and quiet but not especially happy. Such children may feel guilty or depressed, internalizing their frustrations and blaming themselves when things don't go well. As adolescents, they sometimes rebel, leaving home before age 20. As adults, they are quick to blame and punish. Permissive parents raise children who lack self-control. Inadequate emotional regulation makes them immature and impedes friendships, so they are unhappy. They tend to continue to live at home, still dependent on their parents in adulthood. Authoritative parents raise children who are successful, articulate, happy with themselves, and generous with others. These children are usually liked by teachers and peers, especially in cultures that value individual initiative (e.g., the United States). Neglectful/uninvolved parents raise children who are immature, sad, lonely, and at risk of injury and abuse, not only in early childhood but also lifelong.

Teaching Right and Wrong

Parents want their children to develop a morality that is in accord with the parents' understanding of right and wrong. Children have a sense of good and bad, an outgrowth of bonding, attachment, and cognitive maturation. Even infants may have a moral sense: An experiment found 6-month-olds preferring a puppet who helped another puppet, not an unhelpful one (Hamlin, 2014). According to evolutionary theory, the survival of our species depended on protection, cooperation, and even sacrifice for one another. Humans needed group defense against harsh conditions and large predators. Morality evolved because humans need each other to survive (Dunning, 2011). Thus, our bodies produce hormones, especially oxytocin, that push people toward trust, love, and morality (Zak, 2012). With the cognitive advances of early childhood, and increased interaction with peers, these innate moral impulses are strengthened. Children develop empathy, an understanding of other people's feelings and concerns, and antipathy, a feeling of dislike, disdain, or even hatred. empathy The ability to understand the emotions and concerns of another person, especially when they differ from one's own. antipathy Feelings of dislike or even hatred for another person. Empathy leads to compassion and prosocial behavior—helpfulness and kindness without any obvious personal benefit. Expressing concern, offering to share, and including a shy child in a game are examples of children's prosocial behavior. The opposite is antisocial behavior, hurting other people. prosocial behavior Actions that are helpful and kind but that are of no obvious benefit to the person doing them. antisocial behavior Actions that are deliberately hurtful or destructive to another person. Prosocial behavior seems to result more from emotion than from intellect, more from empathy than from theory (Eggum et al., 2011). The origins of prosocial behavior can be traced to parents who help children understand their own emotions, not from parents who tell children what emotions others might have (Brownell et al., 2013). The link between empathy and prosocial behavior was traced longitudinally in children from 18 months to 6 years. Empathetic 2-year-olds were more likely to share, help, and play with other children in the first grade (Z. Taylor et al., 2013). Prosocial reactions are inborn but not automatic. Some children limit empathy by "avoiding contact with the person in need [which illustrates] . . . the importance of emotion development and regulation in the development of prosocial behavior" and the influence of cultural norms (Trommsdorff & Cole, 2011, p. 136). Feeling distress may be a part of nature, but whether and how a child expresses it is nurture. Antipathy leads to antisocial actions, which include verbal insults, social exclusion, and physical assaults (Calkins & Keane, 2009). That also may be inborn, as well as learned. A 2-year-old might look at another child, scowl, and then kick hard without provocation. Generally, parents and teachers teach better behavior, and children become more prosocial and less antisocial with age (Ramani et al., 2010). An interesting example comes from attitudes about possessions. Two-year-olds find it hard to share, even to let another child use a crayon that they have already used. They have a sense of ownership: A teacher's crayon should be shared, but if a child brought it, the other children believe that child is allowed to be selfish (Neary & Friedman, 2014). This returns us to the nature-nurture controversy. The rules of ownership are understood by children as young as 3, who apply them quite strictly. Consider how this develops over time. Some adolescents come to blows over sunglasses or shoes; some adults kill over what belongs to whom. Others are much more likely to lose, share, or give away. How much of those reactions are innate, and how much learned? At every age, antisocial behavior indicates less empathy. That may originate in the brain. An allele or gene may have gone awry (Portnoy et al., 2013). But at least for children, lack of empathy correlates with parents who neither discuss nor respond to emotions (Z. Taylor et al., 2013; Richards et al., 2014).

PSYCHOANALYTIC THEORY

Freud (1938/1995) called the period from about ages 3 to 6 the phallic stage, named after the phallus, the Greek word for penis. At age 3 or 4, said Freud, boys become aware of their male sexual organ. They masturbate, fear castration, and develop sexual feelings toward their mother. phallic stage Freud's third stage of development, when the penis becomes the focus of concern and pleasure. These feelings make every young boy jealous of his father—so jealous, according to Freud, that he wants to replace his dad. Freud called this the Oedipus complex, after Oedipus, son of a king in an ancient Greek drama. Abandoned as an infant and raised in a distant kingdom, Oedipus returned to his birthplace and, without realizing who they were, killed his father and married his mother. When he discovered the horror, he blinded himself. Oedipus complex The unconscious desire of young boys to replace their fathers and win their mothers' exclusive love. Freud believed that this ancient story (immortalized in Oedipus Rex, a play written by Sophocles and first presented in Athens in 429 B.C.E., still presented every year somewhere in the world) dramatizes the overwhelming emotions that all 5-year-old boys feel about their parents—both love and hate. Every boy feels guilty about his incestuous and murderous impulses. In self-defense, he develops a powerful conscience called the superego, which is quick to judge and punish. That marks the beginning of morality, according to psychoanalytic theory. This theory contends that a small boy's fascination with superheroes, guns, kung fu, and the like arises from his unconscious impulse to kill his father. Further, an adult man's homosexuality, homophobia, or obsession with guns, pornography, prostitutes, or hell arises from problems at the phallic stage. Freud offered several descriptions of the moral development of girls. One, called the Electra complex, is again named after an ancient Greek drama. Freud thought that girls also want to eliminate their same-sex parent (mother) and become intimate with the opposite-sex parent (father). That explains why many 5-year-old girls dress in frills and lace, and are happy to be "daddy's girl." Many psychologists criticize psychoanalytic theory as being unscientific. That was my opinion in graduate school, so I dismissed Freud's ideas and I deliberately dressed my baby girls in blue, not pink, so that they would not follow stereotypes. However, scientists seek to reconcile theory and experience. My daughters made me reconsider. (See A Case to Study on page 212.)

LEVELS OF PREVENTION Three levels of prevention apply to every health and safety issue.

In primary prevention, the overall conditions are structured to make harm less likely. Laws and customs are crucial to reduce injury for people of every age. Secondary prevention is more targeted, averting harm in high-risk situations or for vulnerable individuals. Tertiary prevention begins after an injury has already occurred, limiting damage. primary prevention Actions that change overall background conditions to prevent some unwanted event or circumstance, such as injury, disease, or abuse. secondary prevention Actions that avert harm in a high-risk situation, such as using seat belts in cars. tertiary prevention Actions, such as immediate and effective medical treatment, after an adverse event (such as illness or injury). Tertiary prevention is the most visible, but primary prevention is the most effective. An example comes from data on pedestrian deaths. As compared with 20 years ago, although far more cars are on the road, far fewer children in the United States die in motor-vehicle crashes (see Figure 6.4). How does each level of prevention contribute? Primary prevention includes sidewalks, pedestrian overpasses, streetlights, and traffic circles. Cars have been redesigned (e.g., better headlights, windows, and brakes), and drivers' competence has improved (e.g., stronger penalties for drunk driving). Reduction of traffic via improved mass transit can provide additional primary prevention. Secondary prevention reduces danger in high-risk situations. Crossing guards and flashing lights on stopped schoolbuses are secondary prevention, as are salt on icy roads, warning signs before blind curves, speed bumps, and walk/don't walk signals at busy intersections. Finally, tertiary prevention reduces damage after an accident. This includes speedy ambulances, efficient emergency room procedures, effective follow-up care, and laws against hit-and-run drivers, all of which have been improved from decades ago. Medical personnel speak of the golden hour, the hour following an accident, when a victim should be treated. Of course, there is nothing magical about 60 minutes in contrast to 61 minutes, but the faster an injury victim reaches a trauma center, the better the chance of recovery (Dinh et al., 2013). The child death rate is lower for other reasons, as well. Air pollution has been reduced, so fewer children die of asthma. Poison control is more readily available, so fewer children die of swallowing toxins. And many pesticides are banned from home use, so fewer children swallow them. In 1970, the rate of accident death was 10 per million children ages 1 to 14; in 2015, the rate was half of that (National Center for Health Statistics, 2017). Evidence matters. It has led to community awareness and prevention. Children are no less curious than they were, cars are more common, and indeed, "the civilian gun stock has roughly doubled since 1968, from one gun per every two persons to one gun per person" according to a 2012 report to the U.S. Congress (Krouse, 2012, p. 9). Other sources also find more guns in homes. However, more parents hide and lock their guns, so only half as many children die of gun deaths. Many pediatricians, newly aware of the research, advise safe firearm storage as well as locking up poisons. Sadly, school shootings (Sandy Hook, Parkland, Santa Fe) increase both gun purchases and accidental gun deaths of children (Levine & McKnight, 2017). Are newly purchased guns particularly lethal because purchasers are less careful? For all these problems, the focus has been on physical injury, not on intellectual harm. That is the next challenge for developmentalists, as it is apparent that pollutants in air and water, and chemicals in household products and food, may harm the brain while having no impact on the body. This is particularly true in infancy and childhood, but it continues lifelong (Babadjouni et al., 2017). It is difficult for any one person to prevent this harm, and government regulations are notoriously slow. Lead is a sobering example of this, as explained in A View from Science.

PHYSICAL PUNISHMENT

In the United States, young children are slapped, spanked, or beaten more often than are infants or older children, and more often than children in Canada or western Europe. Spanking is more frequent: in the southern United States than in New England, by mothers than by fathers, among conservative Christians than among nonreligious families, among African Americans than among European Americans, among European Americans than among Asian Americans, among U.S.-born Hispanics than among immigrant Hispanics, and in low-SES families than in high-SES families. (MacKenzie et al., 2011; S. Lee et al., 2015; Lee & Altschul, 2015) These are general trends, but do not stereotype. Contrary to these generalizations, some African American mothers living in the South never spank, and some secular, European American, high-SES fathers in New England routinely do. Local norms matter, but individual parents make their own decisions. Controversy particularly swirls around physical punishment (called corporal punishment because it hurts the body). Such punishment usually succeeds momentarily because children become quiet, but longitudinal research finds that corporally punished children are more disobedient later on, and are more likely to become child bullies, adolescent delinquents, and then abusive adults (Gershoff et al., 2012). corporal punishment Discipline techniques that hurt the body (corpus) of someone, from spanking to serious harm, including death. That research is hard for some people to believe, because most North American adults were spanked as children and few consider themselves worse because of it. The effects of spanking vary from one person to another. Longitudinal research finds that children who are not spanked are more likely to develop self-control. The correlation between spanking and later aggression is significant. Remember that correlation shows a connection between two variables; it does not prove that one variable always leads to another. Thus, many spanked children do not become unusually aggressive adults. Nonetheless, the correlation is found in all ethnic groups, in many nations (Lansford et al., 2014; Wang & Liu, 2018). The influence of custom is notable. In 53 nations, including all of northern Europe, corporal punishment is illegal; in many other nations, it is the norm. A massive international study of low- and moderate-income nations found that 63 percent of 2- to 5-year-olds had been physically punished (slapped, spanked, hit with an object) in the past month (Deater-Deckard & Lansford, 2016). In more than 100 nations, physical punishment is illegal in schools, but each U.S. state sets laws; teachers may legally paddle children in 22 of them. Overall, in the United States in one recent year, 218,466 children were corporally punished at school. Sixteen percent of those children had intellectual disabilities, and a disproportionate number were African American boys (Morones, 2013; Gershoff et al., 2015). Worldwide, boys are punished slightly more often than girls. A study in one American state (Arkansas) that allows corporal punishment in school reports that whether or not a child is physically punished depends more on the school culture than on the state or district policy. Cohort is influential. In general, paddling decreased over the past decade. However, suspensions (the school equivalent of time-out) increased (McKenzie & Ritter, 2017). The rate of discipline in Arkansas in the 2015-2016 school year was 59 per 100 students, with 5 per 100 including physical punishment. That ratio does not mean that more than half of the students were disciplined or that 5 percent of the students were paddled, because some students experienced more than 10 punishments (some were paddled several times) while most (especially the younger girls) were never punished. Rates were much higher in middle schools than elementary schools. The most common infractions were "minor, non-violent," when students did not obey their teacher or follow school guidelines. Although some adults believe that physical punishment will "teach a lesson" to behave, others argue that the lesson learned is that "might makes right." Children who were physically disciplined tend to become more aggressive (Thompson et al., 2017). They also are more likely to use corporal punishment on others—first on their classmates, and later on their wives or husbands, and then their children.

Perhaps national awareness has led to better reporting and then more effective prevention. However, trends between 2010 and 2015 suggest that rates are increasing again (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, January 19, 2017). There are many possible explanations. The growing gap between rich and poor families is the most plausible. But no matter what the reason, it is obvious that more work is needed. Unfortunately, official reports raise doubt. For example, Pennsylvania reports about one-third fewer victims than a neighboring state (Ohio), but the child population of both states is about the same. The rate of child maltreatment is eight times higher in Vermont than Alabama—how can that be? When states are compared, rates increase dramatically from year to year, not only overall but also in proportions of neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and so on (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, January 19, 2017). Do some states ignore maltreatment that would have been spotted if the child lived across a state border? Or are people in some places quick to suspect harm? How maltreatment is defined is powerfully influenced by culture (one of my students asked, "When is a child too old to be beaten?"). Willingness to report also varies. The United States has become more culturally diverse, and people have become more suspicious of government. Does that reduce reporting but not abuse?

From a developmental perspective, beyond the difficulty in getting accurate data, another problem is that most maltreatment occurs early in life. That is before children are required to attend school, where a teacher would notice a problem and be required to report. One infant in 45 is substantiated as maltreated, as is 1 preschooler in 90 (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, January 25, 2016). Those are substantiated cases; some of the youngest victims never reach outsiders' attention. An additional problem is that some children are abused in many ways by many people. Many studies have found that if a single episode of child abuse is followed by parental protection and love—never blaming the child—children recover. By contrast, repeated victimization causes lifelong harm, largely because such children are not protected by their parents. Indeed, often a family member is one of the abusers (Turner et al., 2016).

Child Maltreatment

Accidental deaths are common worldwide, but the data reveal a worse problem. Some children are deliberately harmed. In recent years, as many 1- to 4-year-old U.S. children have been murdered as have died of cancer. (Rates for 2015: 369 homicides, 354 cancer deaths; in 2016: 339 homicides, 377 cancer deaths.) Childhood disease deaths have decreased markedly with immunization and better nutrition; accidental deaths are down with better prevention, but maltreatment deaths are still high. We now consider child maltreatment in detail, because understanding precedes prevention. Until about 1960, people thought child abuse was rare and consisted of a sudden attack by a disturbed stranger, usually a man. Today we know better, thanks to a pioneering study based on careful observation in one Boston hospital (Kempe & Kempe, 1978). Maltreatment is neither rare nor sudden, and 92 percent of the time the perpetrators are one or both of the child's parents—more often the mother than the father (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, January 25, 2016). That makes it worse: Ongoing home maltreatment, with no protector, is much more damaging than a single outside incident, however injurious.

Becoming Boys or Girls: Sex and Gender

Another challenge for caregivers is to promote a healthy understanding of sex and gender (Wilcox & Kline, 2013). This is difficult for every parent. Biology determines whether an embryo is male or female (except in rare cases): Those XX or XY chromosomes shape organs and produce hormones, creating sex differences, which are biological. That is distinct from gender differences, which are cultural. In theory this distinction seems simple; in practice it is complex. Regarding sex and gender, scientists need to "treat culture and biology not as separate influences but as interacting components of nature and nurture" (Eagly & Wood, 2013, p. 349). sex differences Biological differences between males and females, in organs, hormones, and body shape. gender differences Differences in male and female roles, behaviors, clothes, and so on that arise from society, not biology. Many adults follow gender norms. A 2017 survey found that most adults thought parents should encourage their children to play with toys associated with the other sex, but a sizable minority disagreed (Parker et al., 2017). The highest disagreement was expressed by men regarding boys: 43 percent of the men thought boys should not be encouraged to do things usually stereotyped for girls, such as care for dolls, jump rope, or wear bracelets (see Figure 6.2). Sex and gender issues are particularly challenging when children identify as transgender, wanting to be a gender that is not their biological sex. This presents their parents with a challenge that almost no parent anticipated a decade ago (Rahilly, 2015). Gender distinctions are pervasive and lifelong, beginning with the blue or pink caps put on newborns' heads and ending with the clothes put on a corpse before burial. Already by age 2, children use gender labels (Mrs., Mr., lady, man) consistently. By age 4, children believe that certain toys (such as dolls or trucks) and roles (Daddy, Mommy, nurse, teacher, police officer, soldier) are reserved for one sex or the other, even when their experience is otherwise. As one expert explains: . . . four year olds say that girls will always be girls and will never become boys. . . . they are often more absolute about gender than adults are. They'll tell their very own pantssuited doctor mother that girls wear dresses and women are nurses. By age 6, children are "gender detectives," seeking out ways that males and females differ and then trying to conform to whatever they decide is appropriate for their sex. Mia is one example: On her first day of school, Mia sits at the lunch table eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She notices that a few boys are eating peanut butter and jelly, but not one girl is. When her father picks her up from school, Mia runs up to him and exclaims, "Peanut butter and jelly is for boys! I want a turkey sandwich tomorrow." [Quoted in C. Miller et al., 2013, p. 307] In one nursery school, the children themselves decided that one wash-up basin was for boys and the other for girls. A girl started to use the boys' basin. Boy: This is for the boys. Girl: Stop it. I'm not a girl and a boy, so I'm here. Boy: What? Girl: I'm a boy and also a girl. Boy: You, now, are you today a boy? Girl: Yes. Boy: And tomorrow what will you be? Girl: A girl. Tomorrow I'll be a girl. Today I'll be a boy. Boy: And after tomorrow? Girl: I'll be a girl. [Ehrlich & Blum-Kulka, 2014, p. 31] Although they may not understand biological sex, many children accept rigid male-female roles. Thus, this girl did not dispute the rule against girls using the boys' sink. Instead, since she wanted to use the sink, she said she was a boy. Despite their parents' and teachers' wishes, children say, "No girls [or boys] allowed." Most older children consider ethnic discrimination immoral, but they accept some sex discrimination (Møller & Tenenbaum, 2011). Transgender children, likewise, are insistent that they are not the sex that their parents thought (Rahilly, 2015), rather than suggesting that gender roles themselves are too narrow. Why are male and female distinctions recognized by 2-year-olds, significant to 5-year-olds, and accepted as proper by 10-year-olds? All of the major theories "devote considerable attention to gender differences. . . . The primary difference among the theories resides in the causal mechanism responsible" (Bornstein et al., 2016, pp. 10, 11). Consider the four comprehensive theories in Chapter 1.

CONSEQUENCES OF MALTREATMENT

Maltreatment harms the entire community; standards of proper care depend on everyone. Prevention as well as resilience involve the child, the family, and the social context. Certain customs (such as circumcision, pierced ears, and spanking) are considered abusive among some groups but not in others; their effects vary accordingly. Children suffer if they think their parents care less than most parents in their neighborhood, or if their parents fight with each other. If parents forbid something other children have, punish more severely, or not at all, children might feel unloved. The long-term effects of maltreatment depend partly on the child's interpretation at the time and, in adulthood, on the current relationship between the adult and the punishing parent. If the grown child has a good relationship with the formerly abusive parent (more common if abuse was not chronic), then recovery is more likely (Schafer et al., 2014). It has been said that abused children become abusive parents, but this is not necessarily true (Widom et al., 2015a). Many people avoid the mistakes of their parents, especially if their friends or partners, or their reformed parents, show them a better way. Nonetheless, the consequences of maltreatment may last for decades. Immediate impairment is obvious, as when a child is bruised, broken, afraid to talk, or failing in school. Later on, however, deficits in social skills and self-esteem are more crippling than physical or intellectual damage. Maltreated children tend to hate themselves and then hate everyone else. Even if the child was mistreated in the early years and then not after age 5, emotional problems (externalizing for the boys and internalizing for the girls) linger (Godinet et al., 2014). Adult drug abuse, social isolation, and poor health may result from maltreatment decades earlier (Sperry & Widom, 2013; Mersky et al., 2013). Hate is corrosive. A warm and enduring friendship can repair some damage, but maltreatment makes such friendships less likely. Many studies find that mistreated children typically regard other people as hostile; hence, they become less friendly, more aggressive, and more isolated than other children. The earlier that abuse starts and the longer it continues, the worse the children's relationships are, with physically and sexually abused children likely to be irrationally angry and neglected children often withdrawn (Petrenko et al., 2012). That makes healthy romances and friendships difficult. Further, finding and keeping a job is a critical aspect of adult well-being, yet adults who were maltreated suffer in this way as well. One study carefully matched 807 children who had experienced substantiated abuse with other children who were of the same sex, ethnicity, and family SES. About 35 years later, when maltreatment was a distant memory, those who had been mistreated were 14 percent less likely to be employed. The researchers concluded: "abused and neglected children experience large and enduring economic consequences" (Currie & Widom, 2010, p. 111). In this study, women had more difficulty finding and keeping a job than men. It may be that self-esteem, emotional stability, and social skills are even more important for female employees than for male ones. This study is just one of hundreds of longitudinal studies, all of which find that maltreatment affects people decades after broken bones, or skinny bodies, or medical neglect.

THE HISTORICAL CONTEXT

As you remember, one dispute in early education is finding the proper balance between child-centered creative play and teacher-directed learning. This was not an issue a century ago: Most families had many children, few mothers had jobs, and all of the children played outside with neighboring boys and girls, of several ages. The older children looked out for the younger ones, and games like tag, hide-and-seek, and stickball allowed each child to play at their own level. In 1932, American sociologist Mildred Parten described five stages of play, each more advanced than the previous one: Solitary: A child plays alone, unaware of other children playing nearby. Onlooker: A child watches other children play. Parallel: Children play in similar ways but not together. Associative: Children interact, sharing toys, but not taking turns. Cooperative: Children play together, creating dramas or taking turns. Parten described play as intrinsic, with children gradually advancing, from age 1 to 6, from solitary to cooperative play. Research on contemporary children finds much more age variation than Parten did, perhaps because family size is smaller and parents invest heavily in each child, rarely telling them to "go out and play and come back when it gets dark," as parents once did. Many Asian parents successfully teach 3-year-olds to take turns, share, and otherwise cooperate (stage 5). Many North American children, encouraged to be individuals, still engage in parallel play at age 6 (stage 3). Even in first grade, an only child who never attended school might stand at the edge of the recess yard, watching (stage 2).

BEHAVIORISM

Behaviorists believe that virtually all roles, values, and morals are learned. To behaviorists, gender distinctions result from reinforcement, punishment, and social learning, evident in early childhood. Indeed, the push toward traditional gender behavior in play and chores (washing dishes versus fixing cars) is among the most robust findings of decades of research on this topic (Eagly & Wood, 2013). For example, a 2-year-old boy who asks for a train and a doll for his birthday is more likely to get the train. Sex differences are taught more to boys than girls. Gender differentiation may be subtle, with adults unaware that they are reinforcing traditional masculine or feminine behavior. For example, parents talking to young children mention numbers and shapes more often with their sons (Chang et al., 2011; Pruden & Levine, 2017). This may be a precursor to the boys becoming more interested in math and science later on. Even with infants, fathers interact differently with their children, singing and talking more to their daughters but using words of achievement, such as proud and win, more with their sons (Mascaro et al., 2017). According to social learning theory, people model themselves after people they perceive to be nurturing, powerful, and yet similar to themselves. For young children, those people are usually their parents, who are the most gender-typed of their entire lives when they are raising young children. Generally, if an employed woman is ever to leave her job to become a housewife, it is when she has a baby. Fathers tend to work longer hours—they are home less often—and mothers work fewer hours when children arrive. Since children learn gender roles from their parents, it is no surprise that they are quite sexist (Hallers-Haalboom et al., 2014). They follow the examples they see, unaware that their very existence is the reason for that behavior. Reinforcement for distinct male and female actions is widespread. As the president of the Society for Research in Child Development observes, "parents, teachers, and peers . . . continue to encourage, model, and enforce traditional gender messages" (Liben, 2016, p. 24). The 3-year-old boy who brings his Barbie doll to preschool will be punished—not physically, but with words and social exclusion—by his male classmates. As social learning increases from age 2 to 22, so does gender divergence.

DEFINITIONS AND STATISTICS

Child maltreatment now refers to all intentional harm to, or avoidable endangerment of, anyone under 18 years of age. Thus, child maltreatment includes both child abuse, which is deliberate action that is harmful to a child's physical, emotional, or sexual well-being, and child neglect, which is failure to meet essential needs. child maltreatment Intentional harm to or avoidable endangerment of anyone under 18 years of age. child abuse Deliberate action that is harmful to a child's physical, emotional, or sexual well-being. child neglect Failure to meet a child's basic physical, educational, or emotional needs. Neglect is worse than abuse. It also is "the most common and most frequently fatal form of child maltreatment" (Proctor & Dubowitz, 2014, p. 27). About three times as many neglect cases occur in the United States as abuse cases, a ratio probably found in many other nations. Data on substantiated maltreatment in the United States in 2014 indicate that 77 percent were neglect, 17 percent physical abuse, 6 percent emotional abuse, and 8 percent sexual abuse. (A few were tallied in two categories [U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, January 25, 2016].) Ironically, neglect is often ignored by the public, who are "stuck in an overwhelming and debilitating" concept that maltreatment always causes bodily harm (Kendall-Taylor et al., 2014, p. 810). Neglect destroys emotional regulation, which is devastating for young children. Substantiated maltreatment means that a case has been reported, investigated, and verified (see Figure 6.6). In 2015, about 800,000 children suffered substantiated abuse or neglect in the United States. Substantiated maltreatment harms about 1 in every 90 children aged 2 to 5 annually. substantiated maltreatment Harm or endangerment that has been reported, investigated, and verified. Reported maltreatment (technically a referral) means simply that the authorities have been informed. Since 1993, the number of children referred to authorities in the United States has ranged from about 2.7 million to 3.6 million per year, with 3.6 million in 2014 (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, January 25, 2016). reported maltreatment Harm or endangerment about which someone has notified the authorities. The 4.5-to-1 ratio of reported versus substantiated cases occurs because: Each child is counted only once, so five verified reports about a single child result in one substantiated case. Substantiation requires proof. Most investigations do not find unmistakable harm or a witness. Many professionals are mandated reporters, required to report any signs of possible maltreatment. In 2014, two-thirds of all reports came from professionals. Usually an investigation finds no harm (Pietrantonio et al., 2013). Some reports are "screened out" as belonging to another jurisdiction, such as the military or a Native American tribe, who have their own systems. In 2014, many (about 39 percent) referrals were screened out. A report may be false or deliberately misleading (though few are) (Sedlak & Ellis, 2014).

COGNITIVE THEORY

Cognitive theory offers an alternative explanation for the strong gender identity of 5-year-olds (Kohlberg et al., 1983). Remember that cognitive theorists focus on how children understand various ideas. Regarding boys and girls, they construct a gender schema, an understanding of male-female differences (Bem, 1981; Martin et al., 2011). gender schema A child's cognitive concept or general belief about male and female differences. As cognitive theorists point out, young children tend to perceive the world in simple, egocentric terms, as explained in Chapter 5. Therefore, they categorize male and female as opposites. Nuances, complexities, exceptions, and gradations about gender (and about everything else) are beyond them. During the preoperational stage, appearance is stronger than logic. One group of researchers who endorse the cognitive interpretation note that "young children pass through a stage of gender appearance rigidity; girls insist on wearing dresses, often pink and frilly, whereas boys refuse to wear anything with a hint of femininity" (Halim et al., 2014, p. 1091). In research reported by this group, the parents discouraged sexism, but that did not sway a girl who wanted a bright pink tutu and a sparkly tiara. The child's gender schema overcame the parents' fight against gender stereotypes. In effect, children develop a theory-theory to explain what they experience. Not all parents think sexual distinctions are wrong. "Sometimes gender-traditional messages are conveyed deliberately. . . . Many fathers and mothers dream of raising their sons and daughters to join them in traditional masculine and feminine pastimes" (Liben, 2016, p. 24). Gender schemas are everywhere (Starr & Zurbriggen, 2016). Deliberate messages from the parents and the culture, added to children's simplistic thinking, explain gender stereotypes, according to cognitive theory.

Emotional Development

Controlling the expression of feelings, called emotional regulation, is the preeminent psychosocial task between ages 2 and 6. Emotional regulation is a lifelong endeavor, a crucial aspect of executive function, which develops most rapidly in early childhood (Gross, 2014; Lewis, 2013). emotional regulation The ability to control when and how emotions are expressed. By age 6, most children can be angry, frightened, sad, anxious, or proud without the explosive outbursts of temper, terror, or tears of 2-year-olds. Depending on a child's training and temperament, some emotions are easier to control than others, but even temperamentally angry or fearful children learn to regulate their emotions (Moran et al., 2013; Tan et al., 2013; Suurland et al., 2016). In the process of emotional regulation, children develop their self-concept, which is their idea of who they are. Remember that 1-year-olds begin to recognize themselves in the mirror, the start of self-awareness. By age 6, children can describe some of their characteristics, including what emotions they feel and how they express them. That is probably true for all children everywhere, although parental guidance and encouragement aid in self-awareness (LeCuyer & Swanson, 2016). self-concept A person's understanding of who they are, in relation to self-esteem, appearance, personality, and various traits. Indeed, for all aspects of self-concept and emotional regulation, culture and family matter. Children may be encouraged to laugh/cry/yell, or the opposite, to hide their emotions. Some adults guffaw, slap their knees, and stomp their feet for joy; others cover their mouths if a smile spontaneously appears. Anger is regulated in almost every culture, but the expression of it—when, how, and to whom—varies a great deal. No matter what the specifics, parents teach emotional regulation (Kim & Sasaki, 2014). Emotional regulation is also called effortful control (Eisenberg et al., 2014), a term that emphasizes that controlling outbursts is not easy. Effortful control is more difficult when people—of any age—are in pain, or tired, or hungry. effortful control The ability to regulate one's emotions and actions through effort, not simply through natural inclination. Effortful control, executive function, and emotional regulation are similar constructs, with much overlap, at least in theory (Scherbaum et al., 2018; Slot et al., 2017). Executive function emphasizes cognition; effortful control emphasizes temperament; both undergird emotional regulation. Many neurological processes underlie these abilities; all advance during early childhood.

What Is Best?

Each major developmental theory strives to explain the ideas that young children express and the roles they follow. No consensus has been reached. That challenges caregivers because they know they should not blindly follow the norms of their culture, yet they also know that they need to provide guidance regarding male-female differences and everything else. Regarding sex or gender, those who contend that nature (sex) is more important than nurture (gender) tend to design, cite, and believe studies that endorse their perspective. That has been equally true for those who believe that nurture is more important than nature. Only recently has a true interactionist perspective, emphasizing how nature affects nurture and vice versa, been promoted (Eagly & Wood, 2013). Some recent research suggests a gender similarities hypothesis, the idea that our human emphasis on sex differences blinds us to the reality that the two sexes have far more in common than traditional theories recognize (Hyde, 2016). Perhaps instead of looking for sex differences, we should notice gender similarities. According to some researchers, similarities far outweigh differences in the brain, body, and behavior (Roseberry & Roos, 2016; Zhang, 2018).

Initiative Versus Guilt

Emotional regulation is part of Erikson's third developmental stage, initiative versus guilt. Initiative includes saying something new, beginning a project, or expressing an emotion. Depending on what happens next, children feel proud or guilty. Gradually, they learn to rein in boundless pride and avoid crushing guilt. initiative versus guilt Erikson's third psychosocial crisis, in which young children undertake new skills and activities and feel guilty when they do not succeed at them. Pride is typical in early childhood. As one team expressed it: Compared to older children and adults, young children are the optimists of the world, believing they have greater physical abilities, better memories, are more skilled at imitating models, are smarter, know more about how things work, and rate themselves as stronger, tougher, and of higher social standing than is actually the case. [Bjorklund & Ellis, 2014, p. 244] That protective optimism helps young children try new things, and thus, initiative advances learning. As Erikson predicted, their optimistic self-concept protects young children from guilt and shame, and encourages them to learn.

EVOLUTIONARY THEORY

Evolutionary theory holds that sexual passion is a basic human drive because all creatures have a powerful impulse to reproduce. Since conception requires an ovum and a sperm, males and females follow their evolutionary mandate by seeking to attract the other sex—walking, talking, and laughing in traditional feminine or masculine ways. This evolutionary drive may explain why, already in early childhood, boys have a powerful urge to become like the men, and girls like the women. This will prepare them, later on, to mate and conceive a new generation. Evolutionary theory emphasizes the urge to survive as well as the urge to reproduce. Over millennia of human history, genes, chromosomes, and hormones dictate that young boys are more active (rough-and-tumble play) and girls more domestic (playing house). That prepares them for adulthood, when fathers needed to defend against predators and mothers needed to care for the home and children.

AGE-RELATED DANGERS

In accidents overall, 2- to 6-year-olds are more often seriously hurt than 6- to 10-year-olds. Why are young children so vulnerable? Immaturity of the prefrontal cortex makes young children impulsive; they plunge into danger. Unlike infants, their motor skills allow them to run, leap, scramble, and grab in a flash, before a caregiver can stop them. Their curiosity is boundless; their impulses are uninhibited. Then, if they do something dangerous, such as lighting a fire while playing with matches, fear and stress make them slow to get help. Age-related trends are apparent in particulars. Falls are more often fatal for the youngest (under 24 months) and oldest (over 80 years) people; 1- to 4-year-olds have high rates of poisoning and drowning; motor-vehicle deaths peak from age 15 to 25. Generally, as income falls, accident rates rise, but not for every cause. Not only are 1- to 4-year-olds more likely to die of drowning than any other age group, they drown in swimming pools six times more often than older children and adults (MMWR, May 16, 2014). Usually the deadly pool is in their own backyard, a luxury fewer low-income families enjoy.

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

In many cultures, a young child's pride usually includes being proud of who they are. One example is pride in age, size, and maturation. They are very glad that they aren't babies. "Crybaby" is an insult; praise for being "a big kid" is welcomed. Bragging is common. Indeed, many young children believe that whatever they are is good. They feel superior to children of another nationality or religion. This arises because of maturation: Cognition enables them to understand group categories, not only of ethnicity, gender, and nationality but even insignificant categories. For instance, they remember more about cartoon characters whose names begin with the same letter as theirs (Ross et al., 2011). If their parents or other adults express prejudice against people of another group, they may mirror those prejudices (Tagar et al., 2017). One amusing example occurred when preschoolers were asked to explain why one person would steal from another, as occurred in a story about two fictional tribes, the Zaz and the Flurps. As you would expect from theory-theory, the preschoolers readily found reasons. Their first explanation illustrated their belief that group loyalty was more important than any personal characteristic. "Why did a Zaz steal a toy from a Flurp?" "Because he's a Zaz, but he's a Flurp . . . They're not the same kind . . ." nly when asked to explain a more difficult case, when group loyalty was insufficient, did they consider character, morality, and personality. "Why did a Zaz steal a toy from a Zaz?" "Because he's a very mean boy."

WARNING SIGNS Instead of relying on official statistics and mandated reporters, every reader of this book can recognize developmental problems and prevent maltreatment. Often the first sign is delayed development, such as slow growth, immature communication, lack of curiosity, or unusual social interactions. These are all evident in infancy and early childhood. Table 6.3 lists signs of child maltreatment, both neglect and abuse. None of these signs proves maltreatment, but whenever any of them occurs, investigation is needed. The opposite is also true: Some things that many young children do (not eating much dinner, crying when they must stop playing, imagining things that are not true) are common, not usually signs of abuse.

Injuries that do not fit an "accidental" explanation, such as bruises on both sides of the face or body; burns with a clear line between burned and unburned skin; "falls" that result in cuts, not scrapes Repeated injuries, especially broken bones not properly tended (visible on X-ray) Fantasy play, with dominant themes of violence or sexual knowledge Slow physical growth, especially with unusual appetite or lack of appetite Ongoing physical complaints, such as stomachaches, headaches, genital pain, sleepiness Reluctance to talk, to play, or to move, especially if development is slow No close friendships; hostility toward others; bullying of smaller children Hypervigilance, with quick, impulsive reactions, such as cringing, startling, or hitting Frequent absence from school Frequent changes of address Turnover in caregivers who pick up child, or caregiver who comes late, seems high Expressions of fear rather than joy on seeing the caregiver

INJURY CONTROL

Instead of using the term accident prevention, public health experts prefer injury control (or harm reduction). Consider the implications. Accident implies that an injury is random, unpredictable; if anyone is at fault, it's a careless parent or an accident-prone child. Instead, injury control suggests that the impact of an injury can be limited, and harm reduction implies that harm can be minimized. injury control/harm reduction Reducing the potential negative consequences of behavior, such as safety surfaces replacing cement at a playground. If young children are allowed to play to develop their skills, minor mishaps (scratches and bruises) are bound to occur. As explained in this chapter, children need to play. A child with no scrapes may be overprotected, but communities need to protect playing children. Serious injury is unlikely if a child falls on a safety surface instead of on concrete, if a car seat protects the body in a crash, if a bicycle helmet cracks instead of a skull, or if swallowed pills come from a tiny bottle. Less than half as many 1- to 5-year-olds in the United States were fatally injured in 2015 as in 1980, thanks to laws that limit poisons, prevent fires, and regulate cars. Control has not yet caught up with newer hazards, however. For instance, many new homes in California, Florida, Texas, and Arizona have swimming pools: In those states, drowning is a leading cause of child death. According to the American Association of Poison Control Centers' National Poison Data System, children under age 5 are now less often poisoned from pills and more often poisoned because of cosmetics or personal care products (deodorant, hair colorant, etc.) (Mowry et al., 2015, p. 968).

ROUGH-AND-TUMBLE

One form of play is called rough-and-tumble play, because it looks rough and children seem to tumble over one another. The term was coined by British scientists who studied animals in East Africa (Blurton-Jones, 1976). They noticed that young monkeys often chased, attacked, rolled over in the dirt, and wrestled quite roughly without injuring one another, all while seeming to smile (showing a play face). rough-and-tumble play Play that seems to be rough, as in play wrestling or chasing, but in which there is no intent to harm. When the scientists who studied monkeys in Africa returned to London, they saw that puppies, kittens, and even their own children engaged in rough-and-tumble play. Children chase, wrestle, and grab each other, with established rules, facial expressions, and gestures to signify "just pretend." Indeed, developmentalists now recognize that rough-and-tumble happens everywhere, with every mammal species, and it has happened for thousands of years (Fry, 2014). It is much more common among males than females, and it flourishes best in ample space with minimal supervision (Pellegrini, 2013). Neurological benefits from such play are evident in experiments with rodents. Young rats play by trying to bite the nape of another's neck. If a bite occurs, the two rats switch roles and the bitten tries to bite the other's nape. This is all playful: If rats want to hurt each other, they try to bite organs, not napes. Rat rough-and-tumble increases rat brain development (Pellis et al., 2018). Controlled experiments on humans, with some children allowed to play and a matched control group never playing, would be unethical. But correlations suggest that the limbic system connects more strongly with the prefrontal cortex because children have been able to engage in rough-and-tumble. Indeed, longitudinal research on boys who played carefully but roughly with peers and parents (usually with fathers) suggests that they become caring, compassionate men (Fry, 2014; Raeburn, 2014).

play

Play is timeless and universal—apparent in every part of the world over thousands of years. Many developmentalists believe that play is children's most productive, enjoyable activity (Elkind, 2007; Bateson & Martin, 2013; P. Smith, 2010). Not everyone agrees. Whether play is essential or merely fun is "a controversial topic of study" (Pellegrini, 2011, p. 3). Some educators want children to play less in order to learn reading and math; others predict emotional and academic problems if children rarely play (Golinkoff & Hirsh-Pasek, 2016). This controversy underlies many of the disputes regarding early education. Some fear that "play in school has become an endangered species" (Trawick-Smith, 2012, p. 259). Among the theorists of human development, Vygotsky especially advocated play. He wrote that play makes children "a head taller" than their actual height (Vygotsky, 1980).

Harm to Children

We have saved the worst for last. The goal of the study of human development is to help all people to develop their full potential lifelong. Every culture particularly cherishes the young. Communities provide education, health care, and playgrounds; parents, grandparents, and strangers of every income, ethnicity, and nation seek to protect children while fostering their growth. Nevertheless, far more children are harmed by acts of commission or omission (deliberate or accidental violence) than from any specific disease. In the United States, almost four times as many 1- to 4-year-olds die of accidents than of cancer, which is the leading cause of disease death during these years (National Center for Health Statistics, 2017).

Avoidable Injury

Worldwide, injuries cause millions of premature deaths among adults as well as children: Not until age 40 does any specific disease overtake accidents as a cause of mortality. In some nations, malnutrition, malaria, and other infectious diseases combined cause more infant and child deaths than injuries do, but those nations also have high rates of child injury. Southern Asia and sub-Saharan Africa have the highest rates of motor-vehicle deaths, even though the number of cars is relatively low (World Health Organization, 2015). Most children who die in such accidents are pedestrians, or are riding—without a helmet—on motorcycles.

Playmates

Young children play best with peers, that is, people of about the same age and social status. Although infants are intrigued by other children, babies play only with toys or adults because peer play requires some social maturation (Bateson & Martin, 2013). Gradually, from age 2 to 6, most children learn how to join a peer group, manage conflict, take turns, find friends, and keep the action going (Şendil & Erden, 2014; Göncü & Gaskins, 2011). Children need physical activity to develop muscle strength and control. Peers provide an audience, role models, and sometimes competition. For instance, running skills develop best when children chase or race each other, not when a child runs alone. Active social play—not solitary play—correlates with physical, emotional, and intellectual growth (Becker et al., 2014; Sutton-Smith, 2011).