Developing Self Awareness
1. extreme thinking 2. overgeneralization 3. mental filter 4. disqualifying the positive 5. mind-reading 6. fortune-telling 7. magnifying and minimizing 8. emotional reasoning 9. should statements 10. labeling and mislabeling 11. personalization
11 categories of dysfucntional thinking
positive behavior, positive thinking
2 aspects of positivity
wold-altering and self-imposed strategies
2 general approaches to strategies for getting us to do "undesirable desirables"
1. building more naturally enjoyable features into our life's activities 2. intentionally focusing thoughts on naturally rewarding aspects of our activities
2 primary approaches to using natural rewards
long-range pursuits, short-run objectives
2 things self-set goals need to address
1. positive self-talk 2. beliefs
2 types of positive thinking
internal speech, imagination
2 ways to self-reward at a mental level
specific, challenging, achievable
3 characteristics of goals that make them most effective for managing immediate behavior
1. feelings of competence 2. feelings of self-control 3. feelings of purpose
3 features of naturally rewarding activities
1. who am I 2. what am I meant to do here 3. What am I trying to do with my life
3 fundamental questions we must ask ourselves if we want to have purpose
1. provides you with confidence 2. gives you sense of purpose 3. gives you sense of achievement
3 reasons to use goal setting
1. reminders and attention focusers 2. removing negative cues 3. increasing positive cues
3 world-altering strategies to help motivate us to behave in desirable ways
1. perceptions/psychological world 2. behavior 3. interactions with others 4. finding purpose or experiences of stress
4 reasons leadership self-awareness is important
1. help focus our future behavior (self-control) 2. provide us with challenges (competence) 3. used as indicators of successful performance (competence) 4. help to achiever personal satisfaction and find purpose
4 reasons self-goals are important
1. conduct a self-examination (decide what's important) 2. avoid fuzzy goals- be specific 3. set long-term and short-term goals 4. peaking with purpose (using purpose to establish long-term goals then peak)
4 steps in self-goal setting process
1. attention focusers 2. removing negative cues and increasing positive cues 3. self-observation 4. practice
4 types of positive behavior
Specific Measurable Attainable Results oriented Time Bound
5 aspects of SMART Goals
1. self-observation 2. self-goal setting 3. self-reward 4. self-punishment 5. practice
5 self-imposed strategies to motivate oneself to do desired behaviors
beliefs, believe
__________ are big influence in behaviors since what we ___________ can happen, can happen
purpose
a sense of this is provided to us with naturally rewarding activities
self-punishment
a way to leads oneself that can lead to habitual guilt and self-criticism and thus impair motivation and creativity if used too often
world-altering strategies
alterations in our immediate worlds that will help us behave in desirable ways
focusing thoughts on naturally enjoyable aspects of our work
approach to using natural rewards for self-leadership that allows one to enjoy the activity for its immediate value and is said to be key to naturally enjoying present endeavors
building more naturally enjoyable features into our life's activities
approach to using natural rewards for self-leadership that involves identifying aspects of our endeavors we naturally enjoy and trying to incresase those as much as possible ex: holding business meeting at appealing location, run in more enjoyable places, using creative humor
practice
at mental level can be picturing adoption of your plan and praise from your audience
self-reward
at physical level can be giving ourselves objects we desire (giving yourself shopping spree after accomplishing desired objective)
practice
at physical level could include verbally going over presentation in front of a mirror
physical world
b/c our actions shape the _____________ where we live, our psychological worlds ultiamtely have an impact on the ____________ itself
self punishment
better alternative to ______________ is: remove any rewards supporting the problem behavior and apply self-reward when we do things right
B = f (P * E)
big component of leadership self-awareness and behavior, describes how different people can be in teh same exact environments/situations yet behave differently and experience the situation differently
apply systematically
biggest challenge of engaging in practice
purpose
by searching and finding this you can better organize you rlife and experience the pinnacle of happiness and productivity. it can serve as your daily guide and use your resources in the most effective manner
results oriented
characteristic of goal that describes what you would actually do if you reached your goal
measurable
characteristic of goal that is concise, short and punchy, yet specific
attainable
characteristic of goal that needs to be realistic and provides the right amount of challenge for persuer, having balance between too easy and too hard
time bound
characteristic of goal that puts specific limit on period to complete goal. implies need to review goals
specific
characteristic of goal where what you mean is specifically states as well as when you expect to achieve it
1. identify tasks or activities that you naturally enjoy (rewards built in to them) 2. identify these tasks by finding activities that help you feel competent, self-controlling, and give you sense of purpose
checklist (2) for discovering natural rewards
1. examine the nature of your current activities 2. identify pleasing contexts in which you could perform your work to make it more naturally rewarding/pleasant 3. identify activities that could be built into your tasks that make your work naturally rewarding 4. redesign your tasks by working in the contexts and building in the activities that make them more naturally enjoyable
checklist (4) for building natural rewards into your activities
1. identify behaviors you feel are important that you would like to either increase or reduce 2. keep record of frequency and duration of important behaviors 3. note conditions that exist when these behaviors occur 4. identify other important factors regarding behaviors (time of day, etc.) 5. keep written record of self-observations that is simple enough to use
checklist (5) detailing major steps for practicing self-observation
1. identify the pleasant, enjoyable aspects of your tasks 2. distinguish between the rewarding aspects of your work that are separable from the work itself and those rewarding aspects that are part of your work 3. focus your thoughts on the pleasant rather than unpleasant aspects of your tasks while you work 4. focus your thoughts on the rewards that are part of the actual task to obtain motivation and satisfaction for immediate efforts 5. work towards developing the ability and habit of distinguishing and focusing on the natural rewards in your work
checklist (5) for focusing on the natural rewards
1. identify important upcoming challenges 2. note important components of future challenges 3. physically practice key components 4. mentally practice key components while thinking about possible improvements in performance plan 5. pair your practice with rewards
checklist (5) for improving your future performance through practice
1. use physical cues to remind you of your important tasks 2. establish cues to focus your attention on important behaviors and tasks 3. identify and recude or eliminate negative cues in your work environment 4. identify and increase positive cues in your work environment 5. associate and surround yourself with people who cure your desirable behavior
checklist (5) for the major steps for exercising self-leadership through the use of world-altering strategies
1. identify what motivates you 2. identify your behaviors and activities that you believe are especially desirable 3. reward yourself when you successfully complete an activity or engage in a desirable behavior 4. can reward yourself with desired physical objects or enjoyable or praising thoughts or pleasant images 5. develop habit of being self-praising and self-rewarding for your accomplishments
checklist (5) for using self-reward to motivate oneself
1. identify behaviors that create guilt 2. identify your actions that result in self-critical feelings 3. identify your destructive self-punitive tendencies 4. work on reducing or eliminating habitual, destructive patterns of self-punishment 5. try alternative strategies to self-punishment for dealing with negative behavior like remove rewards that support negative behavior and establish rewards for behaviors that are more desirable than your negative behaviors 6. reserve self-punishment for only your very wrong, seriously negative behaviors
checklist (6) for gaining control over your self-punishment patterns
1. conduct a self-analysis to help you establish your purpose and long-term goals 2. establish long-term goals for your life and career 3. establish short term goals for your immediate efforts 4. keep your goals specific and concrete 5. make your goals challenging but reasonable for your abilities 6. let others know about your goals to provide added incentive to achieve
checklist (6) for using self-goal setting to motivate yourself towards desirable behaviors
altruism
connected to helping or expressing goodwill toward others. is an aspect of naturally rewarding activities and can give sense of purpose
altruistic egoism
defined as helping others and earning their lvoe while recognizing one's own needs and enhancing oneself at same time. theory that marrying altruistic quality to bioligical quality of selfishness will lead to happy, meaningful life
goal
defined as the result toward which your effort is directed
self-control
desiring feelings of competence and this feeling often lead to our pattern of behavior. overcoming reasonable challenges feels naturally rewarding b/c it incresaes this feeling along with feeling of competence
overgeneralization
dysfunctional thinking where: a single negative detail is emphasized, thus distorting all other aspects of one's perception of reality
mind reading
dysfunctional thinking where: drawing negative conclusions regarding situations despite a lack of concrete evidence to support these conclusions
extreme thinking
dysfunctional thinking where: things are seen as black or white
fortune-telling
dysfunctional thinking where: you arbitrarily are predicting that things will turn out badly
personalization
dysfunctional thinking where: you are identifying oneself as the cause of negative events or outcomes that one is not primarily responsbile for causing
magnifying and minimizing
dysfunctional thinking where: you exaggerate the importance of negative factors and minimize the importance of positive factors related to one's situation
emotional reasoning
dysfunctional thinking where: you interpret reality based on the negative emotions one experiences
should statements
dysfunctional thinking where: you term your self talk in terms of "should" and "shouldn't" and "ought" and "must" are used to coerce or manipulate oneself into taking actions
labeling and mislabeling
dysfunctional thinking where: you are describing oneself, others, or an event with negative labels
disqualifying the positive
dysfunctional thinking where:even if soemthing positive is experienced, it is mentally disqualified from having any relevance or importance
1. beliefs 2. imagined experiences 3. self-instruction/self-talk 4. thought patterns
elements that help explain how our thinking can have an impact on our behavior and experience of life
removing negative cues
eliminating prompters that might lead us to engaging in behaviors we wish to eliminate EX: if wanting to cut down on eating sweets, remove candy dish from coffee table
stress = Poor P-E fit
encompasses idea that stress occurs when a person's abilities/skills/personalities/attitudes/values don't fit with the demands being made upon them by their environment or situation
focusing thoughts on naturally enjoyable aspects of our work
example would be runner feeling sore muscles and exhaustion but instead chooses to think about praise from others, potentially longer lfie, and feeling of power and strength
externally administered reward
examples would be: praise, time off, pay raise, promotion, bonus, etc. often identify with work organizations
environment
external variables that surround an individual
consistent
how the shorter range and longer range goals should be to be most effefctive
beneficial thinking
if we make systematic efforts to do this by changing our thinking, we can improve our self-leadership and can offer us the potential to improve our personal effectiveness
without purpose
if you are _____________ you can accomplish a shopping cart of goals that you neither value nor need or want
need to debrief after failures to use failure as learning opportunity
implication for leaders concerning preventing self-serving bias when failure happens
increasing positive cues
in context of trying to improve person you can become, an example of this would be associating with persons who act in ways consistent with your values
increasing positive cues
increasing the prompters that lead to positive behaviors EX: if want to become more knowledgeable about something but never have time to read, put book about it next to your favorite chair
behavior
involves complex interaction b/w person and the environment
self-observation
involves determining when, why, and under what conditions we use certain behaviors. can provide the foundation for managing our behaviors
Poor P-E fit
keeps people from thriving, causes stress and anxiety. implies that person must assess if the context and enviornment tehy are in is one they want to remain in in future
negative internal speech
mental level of self-punishment
self-talk
mental strategy that can be demonstrated by example of Little Blue Engine saying "I think I can, I think I can..."
self-talk
mental strategy that can help you perform better on the tasks you were responsible for completing by what you say to yourself
self-reward
one of the most powerful methods we possess to lead ourselves to new achievements. can do at both physical and mental levels
personal goals
one way we can provide ourselves directions in our self-leadership in terms of what we strive towards regarding long-term life achievements and on a daily basis which influences our behavior
person
personality characteristics that lead to consistent patterns of behavior
co-workers
powerful cues in the workplace b/c they are likely to influence what we become
self-imposed strategies
process of exercising control over ourselves directly in order to motivate us to do desirable behaviors
integral
purpose is an ____________ aspect of all effective self-leaders
interactions with others
reason leadership self awareness is important b/c better understanding of who you are helps you to appreciate and respect the ways in which others differ from you
finding purpose or experiences of stress
reason leadership self awareness is important b/c self-awareness helps you recognize situations likely to be stressful for you.
behavior
reason leadership self awareness is important b/c self-awareness helps you understand why you react the way you do in certain sitations [ B = f(P*e)]
perceptions/psychological world
reason leadership self awareness is important b/c your personality, skills abilities, attitudes, experiences, values, preferences profoundly shape how you view and interpret your reality
self-punishment
relies on negative self-applied consequences for behaviorto decrease undesired behavior
self-punishment
research has generally shown this self-imposed strategy to not be an effective strategy for controlling behavior b/c not likely to use it consistently since it is undesired and those who consistently use it are likely to become discouraged and not enjoy their work
natural (intrinsic) rewards
rewards that are so closely tied to a given taks or activity that the two can't be separated. no externally or self-administered award is necessary to motivate this behavior, incentives built into task itself
1. skills and abilities 2. paradigms 3. personality 4. values and beliefs 5. preferences 6. attitudes
self-awareness refers to your degree of knowledge about who you are as a leader with regard to your:
sappers
statements that are negative and are a type of self-talk that take away your energy, self-confidence, and happiness
practice
technique of self-leadership in improving behavior by going over activities before we are called on to perform them when it counts allowing us to detect problems and make corrections
having purpose
the catyalyst for organizing life as it serves as our guide on how to spend our lifetime and allocate our resources
psychological
the content of this determines the way we behave and our behavior helps determine the nature of our physical worlds and all these things together determine our progress toward our personal destinies
1. leader blames the team 2. team blames the leader 3. leader loses opportunity to learn from it 4. will become one of the individuals that plateau or derail
the following happens in team with team leaders who have self-serving bias and team does not meet goal:
self-awareness
the information we possess about ourselves and the foundation for exercising self-imposed control
personal goals
the intentional setting of these when systematic and thought-out can influence our behavior positively
purpose
the reason a person was born, each of us is on a quest to find that reason from birth to death and world is incomplete without its discovery
competence
this is feature of naturally rewarding activities b/c we enjoy tasks we perform well. in performing activities that we enjoy we generate this feeling about ourselves and thus the activity becomes more rewarding and then we are more motivated to do it
sense of purpose
this is feature of naturally rewarding activity b/c even if accomplishing it makes you feel competent and gives feeling of self-control, will not be as rewarding if we do not feel what we are doing is of value
self-awareness
this is important b/c you cannot manage others well if you cannot manage yourself
what we value, what we want to accomplish
understanding these 2 things will help you set achievable goals
reminders and attention focusers
using physical objects to remind us of or focus our attention on things we need to do EX: string tied around finger, make list of pending tasks (gives sense of accomplishment too), placing top priority in middle of workspace
self-fulfilling
way we think about the physical world can be this. EX if we attend a social gathering worrying that we will not be accepted we can make this fear come true, if we are withdrawn and closed to others then others are likely to reciprocate similar behavior
psychological worlds
we create this by selecting what enters our midns and what shape it takes after it does
self-serving bias [for ourselves: B(success) = f (big P, E) ; B(failure) = f ( P, big E)
we tend to overestimate teh contribution of internal factors to our own successes and overstimate the contribution of external factors to our own failures
unappealing but necessary tasks
what are "undesirable desirables"
purpose
what establishes our ultimate long-term goals due to it being our reason for being, aim in life, and reason for getting up in the morning
rational thoughts
what individuals need to replace dysfunctional thinking with when they congront them
natural rewards
what is better focus concerning rewards from work? expected external rewards or natural rewards
physical level of self-punishment
what level of self punishment is: not playing weekly golf game and working endlessly on sales proposal instead
dysfunctional thinking
what life problems tend to stem from since mental distortions form the basis for ineffective thinking that can hinder personal effectiveness and lead to forms of depression
purpose
what must be discovered and lived to be truly happy. when this is reflected in performance of a job or goals accomplished it leads people to "peak" in their lives
purpose
what must be established that is a central component of a naturally rewarding work process
self-rewards
what practice can be paired with to increase motivation and self-confidence
destructive self-talk
what sappers are b/c prevent you from achieving your goals and feeling good about yourself. serves as self-fulfilling propeyc b/c what you tell yourself daily usually ends up coming true
self-awareness
what self-leadership begins with, allows oneself to view the world with own lens
fundamental attribution error [for others: B(success) = f ( big P, E) ; B(failure)= f ( big P, E) ]
when evaluating others' successes and failures, we tend to understimate the influence of external factors and overstimeate the influence of internal factors
meaning for existence/purpose
when we realize this, every decision we make can be guided by this realization