Developing Self Awareness

1. extreme thinking 2. overgeneralization 3. mental filter 4. disqualifying the positive 5. mind-reading 6. fortune-telling 7. magnifying and minimizing 8. emotional reasoning 9. should statements 10. labeling and mislabeling 11. personalization

11 categories of dysfucntional thinking

positive behavior, positive thinking

2 aspects of positivity

wold-altering and self-imposed strategies

2 general approaches to strategies for getting us to do "undesirable desirables"

1. building more naturally enjoyable features into our life's activities 2. intentionally focusing thoughts on naturally rewarding aspects of our activities

2 primary approaches to using natural rewards

long-range pursuits, short-run objectives

2 things self-set goals need to address

1. positive self-talk 2. beliefs

2 types of positive thinking

internal speech, imagination

2 ways to self-reward at a mental level

specific, challenging, achievable

3 characteristics of goals that make them most effective for managing immediate behavior

1. feelings of competence 2. feelings of self-control 3. feelings of purpose

3 features of naturally rewarding activities

1. who am I 2. what am I meant to do here 3. What am I trying to do with my life

3 fundamental questions we must ask ourselves if we want to have purpose

1. provides you with confidence 2. gives you sense of purpose 3. gives you sense of achievement

3 reasons to use goal setting

1. reminders and attention focusers 2. removing negative cues 3. increasing positive cues

3 world-altering strategies to help motivate us to behave in desirable ways

1. perceptions/psychological world 2. behavior 3. interactions with others 4. finding purpose or experiences of stress

4 reasons leadership self-awareness is important

1. help focus our future behavior (self-control) 2. provide us with challenges (competence) 3. used as indicators of successful performance (competence) 4. help to achiever personal satisfaction and find purpose

4 reasons self-goals are important

1. conduct a self-examination (decide what's important) 2. avoid fuzzy goals- be specific 3. set long-term and short-term goals 4. peaking with purpose (using purpose to establish long-term goals then peak)

4 steps in self-goal setting process

1. attention focusers 2. removing negative cues and increasing positive cues 3. self-observation 4. practice

4 types of positive behavior

Specific Measurable Attainable Results oriented Time Bound

5 aspects of SMART Goals

1. self-observation 2. self-goal setting 3. self-reward 4. self-punishment 5. practice

5 self-imposed strategies to motivate oneself to do desired behaviors

beliefs, believe

__________ are big influence in behaviors since what we ___________ can happen, can happen

purpose

a sense of this is provided to us with naturally rewarding activities

self-punishment

a way to leads oneself that can lead to habitual guilt and self-criticism and thus impair motivation and creativity if used too often

world-altering strategies

alterations in our immediate worlds that will help us behave in desirable ways

focusing thoughts on naturally enjoyable aspects of our work

approach to using natural rewards for self-leadership that allows one to enjoy the activity for its immediate value and is said to be key to naturally enjoying present endeavors

building more naturally enjoyable features into our life's activities

approach to using natural rewards for self-leadership that involves identifying aspects of our endeavors we naturally enjoy and trying to incresase those as much as possible ex: holding business meeting at appealing location, run in more enjoyable places, using creative humor

practice

at mental level can be picturing adoption of your plan and praise from your audience

self-reward

at physical level can be giving ourselves objects we desire (giving yourself shopping spree after accomplishing desired objective)

practice

at physical level could include verbally going over presentation in front of a mirror

physical world

b/c our actions shape the _____________ where we live, our psychological worlds ultiamtely have an impact on the ____________ itself

self punishment

better alternative to ______________ is: remove any rewards supporting the problem behavior and apply self-reward when we do things right

B = f (P * E)

big component of leadership self-awareness and behavior, describes how different people can be in teh same exact environments/situations yet behave differently and experience the situation differently

apply systematically

biggest challenge of engaging in practice

purpose

by searching and finding this you can better organize you rlife and experience the pinnacle of happiness and productivity. it can serve as your daily guide and use your resources in the most effective manner

results oriented

characteristic of goal that describes what you would actually do if you reached your goal

measurable

characteristic of goal that is concise, short and punchy, yet specific

attainable

characteristic of goal that needs to be realistic and provides the right amount of challenge for persuer, having balance between too easy and too hard

time bound

characteristic of goal that puts specific limit on period to complete goal. implies need to review goals

specific

characteristic of goal where what you mean is specifically states as well as when you expect to achieve it

1. identify tasks or activities that you naturally enjoy (rewards built in to them) 2. identify these tasks by finding activities that help you feel competent, self-controlling, and give you sense of purpose

checklist (2) for discovering natural rewards

1. examine the nature of your current activities 2. identify pleasing contexts in which you could perform your work to make it more naturally rewarding/pleasant 3. identify activities that could be built into your tasks that make your work naturally rewarding 4. redesign your tasks by working in the contexts and building in the activities that make them more naturally enjoyable

checklist (4) for building natural rewards into your activities

1. identify behaviors you feel are important that you would like to either increase or reduce 2. keep record of frequency and duration of important behaviors 3. note conditions that exist when these behaviors occur 4. identify other important factors regarding behaviors (time of day, etc.) 5. keep written record of self-observations that is simple enough to use

checklist (5) detailing major steps for practicing self-observation

1. identify the pleasant, enjoyable aspects of your tasks 2. distinguish between the rewarding aspects of your work that are separable from the work itself and those rewarding aspects that are part of your work 3. focus your thoughts on the pleasant rather than unpleasant aspects of your tasks while you work 4. focus your thoughts on the rewards that are part of the actual task to obtain motivation and satisfaction for immediate efforts 5. work towards developing the ability and habit of distinguishing and focusing on the natural rewards in your work

checklist (5) for focusing on the natural rewards

1. identify important upcoming challenges 2. note important components of future challenges 3. physically practice key components 4. mentally practice key components while thinking about possible improvements in performance plan 5. pair your practice with rewards

checklist (5) for improving your future performance through practice

1. use physical cues to remind you of your important tasks 2. establish cues to focus your attention on important behaviors and tasks 3. identify and recude or eliminate negative cues in your work environment 4. identify and increase positive cues in your work environment 5. associate and surround yourself with people who cure your desirable behavior

checklist (5) for the major steps for exercising self-leadership through the use of world-altering strategies

1. identify what motivates you 2. identify your behaviors and activities that you believe are especially desirable 3. reward yourself when you successfully complete an activity or engage in a desirable behavior 4. can reward yourself with desired physical objects or enjoyable or praising thoughts or pleasant images 5. develop habit of being self-praising and self-rewarding for your accomplishments

checklist (5) for using self-reward to motivate oneself

1. identify behaviors that create guilt 2. identify your actions that result in self-critical feelings 3. identify your destructive self-punitive tendencies 4. work on reducing or eliminating habitual, destructive patterns of self-punishment 5. try alternative strategies to self-punishment for dealing with negative behavior like remove rewards that support negative behavior and establish rewards for behaviors that are more desirable than your negative behaviors 6. reserve self-punishment for only your very wrong, seriously negative behaviors

checklist (6) for gaining control over your self-punishment patterns

1. conduct a self-analysis to help you establish your purpose and long-term goals 2. establish long-term goals for your life and career 3. establish short term goals for your immediate efforts 4. keep your goals specific and concrete 5. make your goals challenging but reasonable for your abilities 6. let others know about your goals to provide added incentive to achieve

checklist (6) for using self-goal setting to motivate yourself towards desirable behaviors

altruism

connected to helping or expressing goodwill toward others. is an aspect of naturally rewarding activities and can give sense of purpose

altruistic egoism

defined as helping others and earning their lvoe while recognizing one's own needs and enhancing oneself at same time. theory that marrying altruistic quality to bioligical quality of selfishness will lead to happy, meaningful life

goal

defined as the result toward which your effort is directed

self-control

desiring feelings of competence and this feeling often lead to our pattern of behavior. overcoming reasonable challenges feels naturally rewarding b/c it incresaes this feeling along with feeling of competence

overgeneralization

dysfunctional thinking where: a single negative detail is emphasized, thus distorting all other aspects of one's perception of reality

mind reading

dysfunctional thinking where: drawing negative conclusions regarding situations despite a lack of concrete evidence to support these conclusions

extreme thinking

dysfunctional thinking where: things are seen as black or white

fortune-telling

dysfunctional thinking where: you arbitrarily are predicting that things will turn out badly

personalization

dysfunctional thinking where: you are identifying oneself as the cause of negative events or outcomes that one is not primarily responsbile for causing

magnifying and minimizing

dysfunctional thinking where: you exaggerate the importance of negative factors and minimize the importance of positive factors related to one's situation

emotional reasoning

dysfunctional thinking where: you interpret reality based on the negative emotions one experiences

should statements

dysfunctional thinking where: you term your self talk in terms of "should" and "shouldn't" and "ought" and "must" are used to coerce or manipulate oneself into taking actions

labeling and mislabeling

dysfunctional thinking where: you are describing oneself, others, or an event with negative labels

disqualifying the positive

dysfunctional thinking where:even if soemthing positive is experienced, it is mentally disqualified from having any relevance or importance

1. beliefs 2. imagined experiences 3. self-instruction/self-talk 4. thought patterns

elements that help explain how our thinking can have an impact on our behavior and experience of life

removing negative cues

eliminating prompters that might lead us to engaging in behaviors we wish to eliminate EX: if wanting to cut down on eating sweets, remove candy dish from coffee table

stress = Poor P-E fit

encompasses idea that stress occurs when a person's abilities/skills/personalities/attitudes/values don't fit with the demands being made upon them by their environment or situation

focusing thoughts on naturally enjoyable aspects of our work

example would be runner feeling sore muscles and exhaustion but instead chooses to think about praise from others, potentially longer lfie, and feeling of power and strength

externally administered reward

examples would be: praise, time off, pay raise, promotion, bonus, etc. often identify with work organizations

environment

external variables that surround an individual

consistent

how the shorter range and longer range goals should be to be most effefctive

beneficial thinking

if we make systematic efforts to do this by changing our thinking, we can improve our self-leadership and can offer us the potential to improve our personal effectiveness

without purpose

if you are _____________ you can accomplish a shopping cart of goals that you neither value nor need or want

need to debrief after failures to use failure as learning opportunity

implication for leaders concerning preventing self-serving bias when failure happens

increasing positive cues

in context of trying to improve person you can become, an example of this would be associating with persons who act in ways consistent with your values

increasing positive cues

increasing the prompters that lead to positive behaviors EX: if want to become more knowledgeable about something but never have time to read, put book about it next to your favorite chair

behavior

involves complex interaction b/w person and the environment

self-observation

involves determining when, why, and under what conditions we use certain behaviors. can provide the foundation for managing our behaviors

Poor P-E fit

keeps people from thriving, causes stress and anxiety. implies that person must assess if the context and enviornment tehy are in is one they want to remain in in future

negative internal speech

mental level of self-punishment

self-talk

mental strategy that can be demonstrated by example of Little Blue Engine saying "I think I can, I think I can..."

self-talk

mental strategy that can help you perform better on the tasks you were responsible for completing by what you say to yourself

self-reward

one of the most powerful methods we possess to lead ourselves to new achievements. can do at both physical and mental levels

personal goals

one way we can provide ourselves directions in our self-leadership in terms of what we strive towards regarding long-term life achievements and on a daily basis which influences our behavior

person

personality characteristics that lead to consistent patterns of behavior

co-workers

powerful cues in the workplace b/c they are likely to influence what we become

self-imposed strategies

process of exercising control over ourselves directly in order to motivate us to do desirable behaviors

integral

purpose is an ____________ aspect of all effective self-leaders

interactions with others

reason leadership self awareness is important b/c better understanding of who you are helps you to appreciate and respect the ways in which others differ from you

finding purpose or experiences of stress

reason leadership self awareness is important b/c self-awareness helps you recognize situations likely to be stressful for you.

behavior

reason leadership self awareness is important b/c self-awareness helps you understand why you react the way you do in certain sitations [ B = f(P*e)]

perceptions/psychological world

reason leadership self awareness is important b/c your personality, skills abilities, attitudes, experiences, values, preferences profoundly shape how you view and interpret your reality

self-punishment

relies on negative self-applied consequences for behaviorto decrease undesired behavior

self-punishment

research has generally shown this self-imposed strategy to not be an effective strategy for controlling behavior b/c not likely to use it consistently since it is undesired and those who consistently use it are likely to become discouraged and not enjoy their work

natural (intrinsic) rewards

rewards that are so closely tied to a given taks or activity that the two can't be separated. no externally or self-administered award is necessary to motivate this behavior, incentives built into task itself

1. skills and abilities 2. paradigms 3. personality 4. values and beliefs 5. preferences 6. attitudes

self-awareness refers to your degree of knowledge about who you are as a leader with regard to your:

sappers

statements that are negative and are a type of self-talk that take away your energy, self-confidence, and happiness

practice

technique of self-leadership in improving behavior by going over activities before we are called on to perform them when it counts allowing us to detect problems and make corrections

having purpose

the catyalyst for organizing life as it serves as our guide on how to spend our lifetime and allocate our resources

psychological

the content of this determines the way we behave and our behavior helps determine the nature of our physical worlds and all these things together determine our progress toward our personal destinies

1. leader blames the team 2. team blames the leader 3. leader loses opportunity to learn from it 4. will become one of the individuals that plateau or derail

the following happens in team with team leaders who have self-serving bias and team does not meet goal:

self-awareness

the information we possess about ourselves and the foundation for exercising self-imposed control

personal goals

the intentional setting of these when systematic and thought-out can influence our behavior positively

purpose

the reason a person was born, each of us is on a quest to find that reason from birth to death and world is incomplete without its discovery

competence

this is feature of naturally rewarding activities b/c we enjoy tasks we perform well. in performing activities that we enjoy we generate this feeling about ourselves and thus the activity becomes more rewarding and then we are more motivated to do it

sense of purpose

this is feature of naturally rewarding activity b/c even if accomplishing it makes you feel competent and gives feeling of self-control, will not be as rewarding if we do not feel what we are doing is of value

self-awareness

this is important b/c you cannot manage others well if you cannot manage yourself

what we value, what we want to accomplish

understanding these 2 things will help you set achievable goals

reminders and attention focusers

using physical objects to remind us of or focus our attention on things we need to do EX: string tied around finger, make list of pending tasks (gives sense of accomplishment too), placing top priority in middle of workspace

self-fulfilling

way we think about the physical world can be this. EX if we attend a social gathering worrying that we will not be accepted we can make this fear come true, if we are withdrawn and closed to others then others are likely to reciprocate similar behavior

psychological worlds

we create this by selecting what enters our midns and what shape it takes after it does

self-serving bias [for ourselves: B(success) = f (big P, E) ; B(failure) = f ( P, big E)

we tend to overestimate teh contribution of internal factors to our own successes and overstimate the contribution of external factors to our own failures

unappealing but necessary tasks

what are "undesirable desirables"

purpose

what establishes our ultimate long-term goals due to it being our reason for being, aim in life, and reason for getting up in the morning

rational thoughts

what individuals need to replace dysfunctional thinking with when they congront them

natural rewards

what is better focus concerning rewards from work? expected external rewards or natural rewards

physical level of self-punishment

what level of self punishment is: not playing weekly golf game and working endlessly on sales proposal instead

dysfunctional thinking

what life problems tend to stem from since mental distortions form the basis for ineffective thinking that can hinder personal effectiveness and lead to forms of depression

purpose

what must be discovered and lived to be truly happy. when this is reflected in performance of a job or goals accomplished it leads people to "peak" in their lives

purpose

what must be established that is a central component of a naturally rewarding work process

self-rewards

what practice can be paired with to increase motivation and self-confidence

destructive self-talk

what sappers are b/c prevent you from achieving your goals and feeling good about yourself. serves as self-fulfilling propeyc b/c what you tell yourself daily usually ends up coming true

self-awareness

what self-leadership begins with, allows oneself to view the world with own lens

fundamental attribution error [for others: B(success) = f ( big P, E) ; B(failure)= f ( big P, E) ]

when evaluating others' successes and failures, we tend to understimate the influence of external factors and overstimeate the influence of internal factors

meaning for existence/purpose

when we realize this, every decision we make can be guided by this realization