HTH chapter 4

self-disclosure

sharing feelings or personal info with others

DOMA act

in 2013 this act was changed, allowing homosexual couples to be legally recognized

self-nurturance

personal quality that is important to any good relationship, developing ind. potential through a balanced and realistic appreciation of self-worth and ability

sexual desire

an element of romantic relationships, lovers desire physical intimacy and want to touch, hold, and engage in sexual activities.

intimacy

a need fulfillment, sharing feelings freely

social integration

a need fulfillment, sharing worries and concerns

assistance

a need fulfillment, someone to help us in time of need.

being a champion/ advocate

an element of romantic relationships, lovers actively champion each others interest's and attempt to ensure the other succeeds.

giving the utmost

an element of romantic relationships, lovers care enough to give the utmost when the other is in need, sometimes to the point of extreme sacrifice.

exclusivity

an element of romantic relationships, lovers have a special relationship that usually precludes having the same kind of relationship with a third party. The love relationship takes priority over all others.

fascination

an element of romantic relationships, lovers tend to pay attention to other person, even when they should be involved in other activities. Think about, talk to, and be with all the time.

choosing a partner

chemical process psychological process proximity- being in the same place at the same time similarities physical attraction

intimate relationships

described in terms of 4 characteristics: behavioral interdependence, need fulfillment, emotional attachment, and emotional availability, each relating to interaction with family, close friends, and romantic partners.

competitive listening

happens when we are more interested in explaining our own point of view than in understanding someone else

emotional availability

one of the 4 characteristics of intimate relationships, the ability to give and receive emotionally from others without fear of being hurt or rejected.

emotional attachement

one of the four characteristics of intimate relationships, feelings of love( does not mean sexual intimacy, can mean spiritual intimacy or emotional intimacy.

need fufillment

one of the four characteristics of intimate relationships: through relationships with others we fulfill our needs for intimacy, social integration, nurturance, assistance, and affirmation

accountability

personal quality that is important to any good relationship, means that you recognize responsibility for your own decisions, choices, and actions, therefore not holding others responsible for positive or negative experiences

elements of trust

predictability, dependability, faith

open relationship

relationship which partners agree that sexual involvement can occur outside relationship

affirmation

someone who will reassure us of our own worth and tell us that we matter.

self-concept

the way you define yourself

self-esteem

the way you evaluate yourself

nonverbal communication

touch, gestures, interpersonal space, body language, tone of voice, facial expressions

active listening

we not only hear the words, but try to understand them

passive listening

when we are listening, but not providing either verbal or nonverbal feedback to the speaker

nurturance

a need fulfillment, someone we take care of and who will take care of us.

assertive-democatic

a parenting style where child is given choices

authoritarian

a parenting style where order are given

permissive

a parenting style where parent gives in

monogamy

exclusive sexual involvement with one partner

issues that diminish chance of long term relationships

jealousy, gender roles, power sharing, communication about unmet expectations

behavioral interdependence

one of the four characteristics of intimate relationships, refers to the mutual impact that people have on each other as their lives intertwine, becomes stronger overtime to the point that each person would feel a void if the other were gone

John Gottman, behavior of future divorce

1. criticism 2. defensiveness 3. stonewalling 4. contempt- talking down to a person

conflict resolution steps

1. identify problem 2. generate possible solutions 3. evaluate alternative solutions 4. decide on the best solution 5. implement the solution 6. Follow up

Helen Fisher's hypothesis

1. imprinting 2. attraction 3. attachment 4. production of oxytocin

marriage lowers stress levels in 3 ways

1. improved personal behavior 2. expanded support networks 3. financial stability

3 aspects of strong communication skills

1. sharing info through self-disclosure 2. becoming a better listener 3. understanding nonverbal communication

a better listener

1. we believe that the message is somehow important and relevant to us 2. speaker holds our attention through humor, dramatic effect, etc 3. in the mood to listen

Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love

Intimacy, Passion, Commitment

cohabitation

a relationship in which two unmarried people with intimate connections live together

consummate love

a relationship that combines intimacy, compassion, and commitment.

romantic relationships

similar to friendships, but with added qualities: fascination, exclusivity, sexual desire, giving the utmost, being a champion/advocate.