Gaslight act 1

Then if you had been a famous actor, I should have had a free seat to come and watch you every night of my life. And then called for you at the stage door afterwards. Wouldn't that have been paradise?

A paradise of which you would soon tire, my dear. I have no doubt that after a few nights you would be staying home again. Just as you do now.

Jack, I'm quite sure it is there. Will you look carefully?

All right, dear. Don't worry. Lie down. It's of no importance. We'll find it... No, it's not here... It must be in one of the drawers...

No- it's on top. I put it there this afternoon.

All right. We'll find it... We'll find it... Are you sure it's here, dear? There's nothing here except writing paper.

Oh... Yes... We want some coal on the fire, Nancy, please.

And you might as well light the gas, Nancy. This darkness in the afternoon is getting beyond endurance.

I don't know. I don't know. You have left your tea. Tell me what it is. Tell me.

Are trying to make a fool of me, Bella? What I refer to is on the wall behind you. If you will put it back, I will forget the matter.

Jack, I may be going mad, like my poor mother-... (lots of words)... Oh, for god's sake believe that I'm trying, and be kind to me!

Bella, my dear- Have you any idea where that picture is now?

The little beast! let her put that in her pipe and smoke it.

But what has she done?

I'm quite natural, sir. I promise you.

But you do it adroitly, I grant you that. What are your secrets? Won't you tell us the name of your chemist? Perhaps you can pass it on to Mrs Manningham- and help banish her pallor. She would be most grateful, I have no doubt.

It isn't that! It's humiliating me like that. As though I would do anything to my face, and ask for her assistance if I did.

But you seem to look upon the servants as our natural equals. So I treated her as one. Besides, I was only trifling with her.

Oh, Jack, how can you treat me like that?

But, my dear, you're the mistress of the house. It was your business to tell her to put the coal on.

Oh- I know she does in secret. In fact, she does so openly- more openly every day.

But, my dear- if she does that, doesn't the fault lie with you?

(A knock on the door)

Come in.

(another knock on the door)

Come in.

(knock on the door)

Come in. Ah, Elizabeth, do you notice anything amiss in this room? Look carefully around the walls, and see if you notice anything amiss... Well, Elizabeth, what do you notice?

But I think we should consider them a little, that's all.

Consider them? There's your extraordinary confusion of the mind again. You speak as though they work for no consideration. I happen to consider Elizabeth to the tune of sixteen pounds per annum. And the girl ten. Twenty-six pounds a year all told. And if that is not consideration of the most acute and lively kind, I should like to know what is.

Nothing sir- except the pictures been taken down.

Exactly. The picture has been taken down. You noticed it at once. Now was the picture in it's proper place when you dusted the room this morning?

Give me that Bible! Give it to me! Let me kiss it, too! There! There! Do you see? There! Do you see that I kiss it?

For God's sake be careful what you do. Do you desire to commit sacrilege above all else?

But, my dear-

Go and ring the bell, please Bella- there's a good child.

(pause, Bella doesn't answer)

Go on. Answer me. What do you suppose servants are for?

Jack- I'm going to make a last appeal to you. I'm going to make a last appeal. I'm desperate, Jack. Can't you see that I'm desperate? If you can't, you must have a heart of stone.

Go on. What do you wish to say?

Oh, Jack dear, It's true. it's true. All I need is to be taken out of myself- some little changes- to have some attention from you. Oh, Jack, I'd be better- I could really try to be better- you know in what way- you know in what way- if only I could get out of myself a little more.

How do you mean my dear ,exactly, better?

Yes- I know it, you wretch. You wouldn't escape me. They look delicious. Aren't you glad I thought of them? Here's some salt. You want heaps of it. Oh, Jack dear, you must forgive me chattering on like this, but I'm feeling so happy.

I can see that, my dear.

Why. My word. So it has. What a rum go!

I did not ask for any comment on your part, Nancy, Kindly be less insolent and answer what I ask you. Did you take the picture down, or did you not?

Oh, Jack dear. You have been so much kinder lately. Is it possible you're beginning to see my point of view?

I don't know that I ever differed from it, did I, Bella?

I'm being taken to the play, you see. Here you are. I used to adore these as a child, didn't you? I wonder how long it is since we had them? We haven't had them since we've been married anyway. Or have we? Have we...?

I don't know, I'm sure... I don't know... Bella-

You mean that I am a laughable person?

I don't mean anything dear. It is you who read meanings into everything. Bella dear. I wish you weren't such a perfect little silly. Come here and stop it. I've just thought of something rather nice.

Oh, Jack- I wish you could.

I don't really know why we shouldn't. I used to like nothing so much when I was a boy. In fact, you may hardly believe it, but I had an ambition to be an actor myself at one time.

Oh, God- be patient with me, If I am mad, be patient with me.

I have been patient with you and controlled myself long enough. It is now for you to control yourself, or take the consequences. Think upon that, Bella

What is it? What's the matter? What is it now?

I have no desire to upset you, Bella, but I have just observed something very much amiss. Will you please rectify it at once, while I am not looking, and we will assume that it has not happened.

Yes, Jack. I expect you are right.

I have no doubt of it my dear. It's sheer weak-mindedness to think otherwise. (pause) Whats the weather doing? Is it still as yellow?

Oh, Jack dear. Do you mean it? Would you take me to see MacNaughton? You wouldn't take me to see MacNaughton, would you?

I not only would take you to see MacNaughton, my dear. I am going to take you to see MacNaughton. That is, if you want to go.

What is it, Jack? What have you thought of?

I read that Mr MacNaughton- the celebrated actor- is in London for another season.

Something nice? What have you thought of, Jack?

I shan't tell you unless you come here.

Ah- you don't know her. She tries to torment and score off me all day long. You don't see these things. A man wouldn't. She thinks me a poor thing. and now she can suffer the news that you're taking me to the theatre.

I think you imagine things, my dear.

No, dear, I don't want to-... (lots of words) ...And all just because you had given me your time, and taken me from brooding on myself in this house all day and night.

I wonder if it is that- or whether it's merely that your medicine is beginning to benefit you?

you see how fine your voice is? Oh- you've made a great mistake.

I wonder.

I wasn't aware of breaking any hearts, sir.

I'm sure that's not true. And that complexion of yours. That's not true, either. I wonder what mysterious lotions you've been employing to enhance your natural beauties.

No, sir. Never, sir. Why should I, sir?

Indeed, why should you? And now please, will you kiss that Bible, which lies on that desk there, as a token of your truthfulness...

It's strange that you can't see how you hurt me. That girl Laughs at me enough already.

Laughs at you? What an idea. What makes you think she laughs at you?

Oh, God help me! God help me!

May God Help you, indeed. Now listen to me. I am going to leave you until ten o'clock. In that time you will recover that paper, and admit to me that you have lying and purposely concealed it... if not, you will face the consequences. You are going to see a doctor, madam, more than one doctor- and they shall decide what this means. Now do you understand me?

Only for tea, Muffins- for tea...

Muffins... Eh...?

(Nancy and Bella Talk then Bella sticks her tongue out as she leaves)

My dear- what are you doing?

it's not in one of the drawers! I put it out here on top!

My dear. Calm yourself. Calm yourself.

I laid it out here myself! Where is it? Where is it? Now you're going to say I've hidden this!

My god! What new trick is this you're playing upon me?

Yes, sir. It was, sir. I don't understand, sir.

Neither do I, Elizabeth, neither do I. And now; before you go, just one question. Was it you who removed that picture, Elizabeth?

Yes, dear. It's on the desk. I'll-

No, dear- don't move- don't move. I can find it. I shall be glad to get the thing off my chest. Where is it, dear? Is it in one of these drawers?

But, dear - Lizzie's out in the street. Let me do it. I can do it so easily.

No, no, no, no, no... Where's the girl? Let the girl come up if Lizzie's out.

I can well believe it, dear. You were cut out for it. Anyone can see that.

No- do you think so- seriously? I always felt a faint tinge of regret. Of course, one would have required training, but I believe I should have made out- and might have reached the top of the tree for all I know.

Yes... Is it merely to put coal on, my dear? I can do that.

Now then, Bella. We've had this out before. Be so good as to ring the bell.

Oh, look at our tea... We were having our tea with muffins...

Now, Bella, I said a moment ago that we have got to face facts. And that is what we have got to do. I am not going to say anything at the moment because my feelings are running to high, in fact. I am going out immediately, and I suggest that you go to your room and lie down for a little in the dark.

Have you got to go? Must you go? Must you always leave me alone after these dreadful scenes?

Now, no argument, please. I had to go in any case after tea, and I am merely leaving a little earlier, that's all. Now, is there anything I can get for you?

You know... You know in what way, dear, About- all that's happened lately. We said we wouldn't speak about it.

Oh, no- Don't let us speak about that.

Yes, it seems to be denser than ever. Shall you be going out in this, Jack dear?

Oh- I expect so. Unless it gets very much worse after team.

I'd be most happy to, I'm sure, sir.

Or are women too jealous of their discoveries to pass them on to a rival.

To serve us, I suppose, Jack...

Precisely. Then why-? (do you insist on doing there duties for them.)

No, dear, no! But someone else. Before God, I didn't do it! Someone else, someone else.

Some else, eh? Someone else. Will you leave go me. You repel me- you half-witted thing. We will see about "someone else".

But I haven't hidden it, jack. I didn't do it. Oh, for gods sake look at me. I didn't do it. I don't know where it is. Someone else must have done it.

Someone else? Are you suggesting that I should play such a fantastic and wicked trick?

Willingly, sir. If I'd done it I'd've-

That is all, Nancy. You may go.

Jack- you promised you would never say that again.

The time has come to face facts, Bella. If this progresses you will not be much longer under my protection.

It is no sacrilege , Jack. Someone else has committed sacrilege. Now see- I swear before God Almighty that I never touched that picture. There!

Then by god you are mad, and you don't know what you do. You unhappy wretch- you're stark gibbering mad- like your wretched mother before you.

Yes... Yes... Yes.., it's here.

Then you did know where it was, Bella. You did know where it was.

No, no- not my room. For god's sake don't send me to my room!

There is no question of sending you to your room, Bella. You know perfectly well that you may do exactly as you please. Everything-

No! No! I only supposed it was! I only supposed it was because it was found there twice before. Don't you see? I didn't know- I didn't!

There is no sense in walking about the room with that picture in your hand, Bella. Go and put it back in it's proper place.

Oh no, I wouldn't. I should have to keep my eye on you for all the hussies that would be after you.

There would be hussies after me, would there? That is an added inducement, then.

(She leaves)

There! I think we may now be said to have demonstrated conclusively- (that no one else in this house has moved the painting.)

Oh- what perfect heaven! Let me see. Do let me see!

There. You see? You can see him in comedy or tragedy- according to your choice. Which would you prefer, Bella- the comedy or the tragedy?

I know you weren't.

This fire's in ashes. Ring the bell, will you, Bella dear, please?

(Nancy enters)

To be or not to be: that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing, end them?

Me? Of course I didn't. What should I want to move it for, sir?

Very good. Now will you kiss that Bible lying there, please, as a solemn oath that you did not- and you may go.

No, Jack dear, nothing. You go.

Very good... Oh, by the way, i shall be passing the grocer and I might as well pay that bill of his and get it done with. Where is it, my dear? I gave it to you, didn't I?

(Elizabeth kisses the bible)

Very well, you may go. And please send Nancy in here at once.

I feel faint, Jack... I feel faint...

Very well... Now take things quietly and come and sit down. Where are your salts? Here they are... Now, my dear, I am going to leave you in peace...

Yes. I don't want to be gloomy dear- that's the last thing I want to be. I only want you to understand. Say you understand.

Well, dear. Don't I seem to? Haven't I just said I'm taking you to the theatre?

Oh- I want to laugh. But then, I should like to cry, too. In fact, I should like to do both. Oh, Jack, what made you decide to take me?

Well, my dear, you've been very good lately, and I thought it would be well to take you out of yourself.

Yes, dear... Yes, you have. Oh and you've made me so happy- so happy dear.

Well, then, which is it to be- the comedy or the tragedy? You must make up your mind.

Oh- it's so hard to say! Either would be equally wonderful. Which would you choose, if you were me?

Well- it depends- doesn't it- upon whether you want to laugh, or whether you want to cry.

No, Jack, dear, it's not my medicine. I've taken my medicine religiously- haven't I taken it religiously? Much as I detest it! It's more than medicine that I want. It's the medicine of a sweet, sane mind, of being interested in something. Don't you see what I mean?

Well- we are talking about gloomy subjects, aren't we?

Jack... Jack.. Don't go... Jack... You're still going to take me to the theatre, aren't you?

What a question to ask me at such a time. No, madam, emphatically I am not. You play fair by me and I'll play fair by you. If we are going to be enemies, you and I, you will find that it is I who will get the best of it.

Nothing, dear...

What are you doing Bella? Come here...

(Bella hides the box)

What are you doing, Bella?

(Bella rings the bell)

What do you suppose the servants are for, Bella?

I don't know that at all, sir, I'm sure.

What is it? Another broken heart added to your list?

Yes. I read that. What of it, Jack?

What of it? What do you suppose?

Oh, Jack! What heaven- what heaven!

When would you like to go? You have only three weeks, according to his advertisement.

Yes dear... he comes so seldom... I thought I might surprise you.

Why are you so apprehensive, Bella? I was not about to reproach you.

It was there this afternoon! I put it There! This is a plot!

Will you control yourself! Will you control yourself! Listen to me, madam. If you utter another sound I will knock you down and take you to your room and lock you in the darkness for a week. I have been to lenient with you, and I mean to alter my tactics.

Jack- spare me that girl. Don't call her in. I'll say anything. I'll say that I did it. I did it, Jack, I did it. Don't have that girl in don't!

Will you have the goodness to contain yourself?

Oh, Jack- don't ring the bell. Don't ring it. Don't call the servants to witness my shame. It's not my shame for I haven't done it- but don't call the servants! Tell them no to come. (I ring it) Let's talk of this between ourselves! Don't call that girl in. Please!

Will you leave go of me and sit down there! Someone else- eh? Well- we shall see. (sobs) You had better pull yourself together, hadn't you...?

Why, yes. I suppose it is behind the cupboard.

Will you please go and see?

Yes, sir? Did you want me?

Yes, I do want you, Nancy... If you will look at the wall on my left, you will see that the picture has gone.

Oh, I beg your pardon. I thought the bell rang...

Yes, we rang the bell, Nancy... (Pause) Go on, my dear, tell her why we rang the bell.

I don't know sir... Will that be all you're wanting, sir?

Yes. That's all I want Nancy- except my tea.

The wall behind me? What? Oh... Yes... The picture has been taken down. Yes... The pictures... Who has taken it down? Why has it been taken down...?

Yes. Why has it been taken down? Why, indeed? You alone can answer that, Bella. Why was it taken down before? Will you please take it from wherever you have hidden it, and put it back on the wall again.

No, sir. Of coarse I ain't sir.

You did not. And have you ever, at any time, removed that picture from its proper place?

Amiss? What's amiss? For god's sake don't turn your back on me. What has happened?

You know perfectly well what has happened, Bella, and if you will rectify it at once I will say no more about it.

Oh no, I don't. We've been too familiar with her. Come along, my dear. You sit one side, and I the other, like two children in the nursery.

You seem wonderfully pleased with yourself, Bella. I must take you to the theatre more often if this is the result.

Yes, sir.

You're looking very impudent and pretty this afternoon, Nancy. Do you know that?