Interpersonal Communication - COM 361 Chapter 10 + some extra readings

Supportiveness

a person's feeling of assurance that others care about and will protect them (pg 340)

Polygamy

a practice in which one person is married to 2 or more spouses at once (pg 320)

Evaluative feedback

a reply that offers an assessment of what the speaker has said/done (pg 343)

Non-evaluative feedback

a reply that withholds assessment of what the speaker has said/done (pg 342)

Interdependence

a state in which each person's behaviors affect everyone else in the relationship (pg 315)

Relational maintenance behaviors

actions/activities used to sustain desired relational definitions - things people do to keep relationships alive

5 stages of relationships falling apart

differentiating, circumscribing, stagnating, avoiding, terminating (pg 330-331)

Fran C Dickson 2002

excerpt from Conflict in Later-Life, Long-Term Marriages

Defensiveness

excessive concern with guarding oneself against the threat of criticism (pg 340)

Characteristics of romantic relationships

exclusivity, voluntariness, love, sexuality, permanence (pgs 320-323)

Intentional families

families formed not by biological or legal ties but a choice (good neighbor's or close friend)

Independent couples

gender norms don't matter, highly interdependent, engage in conflict (pg 326)

Traditional couples

gender typical labor divisions, typically engage conflict rather than avoid it (pg 325)

3 generally agreed on family characteristics

genetic ties, legal obligations, role behaviors (pgs 333-334)

Family stories

gives a family a sense of its history, reinforces connections across generations - 2 things all stories have: told/retold often over long periods of time, convey underlying message about the family (pg 337)

Infidelity

having romantic or sexual interaction with someone outside of one's romantic relationship

Conflict management

how conflict is handled not how offend it happens is what influences relationships (pg 326)

Integrating stage

the stage of relationship development when a deep commitment has formed, and there is a strong sense that the relationship has its own identity

Family rituals(traditions)

repetitive behaviors that have special meaning for a group or relationship (pg 336)

4 Communication issues commonly dealt with in families

roles, rituals, stories, secrets (pgs 336-337)

Intimacy

significant emotional closeness experience in a relationship (pg 314)

Separate couples

similar to traditional but spouses are more autonomous than interdependent, tend to ignore conflict, think of themselves as individuals not couple (pgs 325-326)

compatibility

something about not incompatibilities that destroy a relationship but how they are handled

Marital benefits given by society

spousal privilege, visitation, step-children, cohabitation on controlled properties, medical/burial decisions, domestic violence protection (pg 323)

Master narrative

stories drawn for cultural store that circulate widely within a society (reflect the values of the dominant culture, sets standards for normative behavior)

Communication climate

the emotional tone of a relationship (pg 338)

Family of origin

the family in which one grows up (parents, siblings, etc.) (pg 335)

Divorce

the legal discontinuation of a marriage (pg 331)

Personal narrative

the primary tool people use in sense making

Investment

the resources we put into our relationships (pg 315)

Interpersonal Communication

By: Kory Floyd

John Gottman 2006

Excerpt Why Marriages Fail

Karla Bergen 2010

Excerpt from Accounting for Difference: Commuter Wives and the Master Narrative of Marriage

Kathleen Galvin

Excerpt: Claiming Family identity Communicatively

Kory Floyd 2006

Excerpt: Defining Family Through Relationships

Scott Myers

Excerpt: Sibling use of Relational Maintenance Behaviors

Family of procreation

The family one starts as an adult (spouse and children) (pg 335)

Commitment

a desire to stay in a relationship (pg 314)

Family

"a group of intimates who generate a sense of home and drop identity and who experience a shared history and future" - excerpt pg 302

3 aspects/lens to look at family through

-role (parent/spouse/those who we consider to be family) -sociological (only family as legally defined-basically immediate family) -biological (family only if share genetics or reproductive ability)

Family roles

-troublemaker, jokester, etc. -different from family positions (son) -4 roles in conflict: blamer, placater, computer, distracter (pg 336)

Blended family

2 adult partners raising kids who are not biological offspring of both partners (adopted kids, not married parents, step-kids, etc.) (pg 335)

ratio to keep it together

5 good things(compliments, outings, situations) to 1 bad

5 Stages of forming romantic relationships

Initiating, experimenting, intensifying, integrating, bonding (pgs 323-324)

basically

as couples got older they had less conflict, most agreed "there wasn't much point to it"

3 common dialectic tensions

autonomy vs connection, openness vs closedness, predictability vs novelty (pg 317)

Disconfirming messages

behaviors that imply a lack of regard for another person (pg 339)

Confirming messages

behaviors that indicate how much we value another person (pg 338)

Monogamy

being in only 1 romantic relationship at a time and avoiding romantic or sexual involvement with others outside the relationship (pg 320)

Sibling relationships

change over time- 3 main periods are childhood, early/middle adult, and old age

Dialectical tensions

conflict between 2 important but opposing needs/desires (want to share more but keep some things private) (pg 317)

4 communication behaviors that have influence on relationships

conflict management, privacy management, emotional communication, instrumental communication (pg 326)

Sibling relations (again)

involuntary - similar to other relationships but have other maintenance behaviors and the ones that share with normal relationships are in a different priority

Problems defining family

pretty much every person/textbook/academic study has its' own definition of family and it can cause problems in the academic world

Experimenting stage

the stage of relationship development when individuals have conversations to learn more about each other (pg 324)

intensifying stage

the stage of relationship development when individuals move from being acquaintances to being close friends

Initiating stage

the stage of relationship development when people meet and interact for the first time (pg 323)

Bonding stage

the stage of relationship development when the partners publicly announce their commitment (pg 324)

Circumscribing stage

the stage of relationship dissolution characterized by decreased quality and quantity of communication between partners (pg 331)

Differentiating stage

the stage of relationship dissolution when partners begin to see their differences as undesirable or annoying (pg 331)

Avoiding stage

the stage of relationship dissolution when partners create physical and emotional distance between themselves (pg 331)

Terminating stage

the stage of relationship dissolution when the relationship is deemed to be officially over (pg 331)

Stagnating stage

the stage of relationship dissolution when the relationship stops growing and the partners are barely communicating with each other (pg 331)

Communication privacy management theory

theory that explains how people (couples) manage the tension between privacy and disclosure (pg 328)

Family secrets

things families see as inappropriate for outsiders to know - financial, family, health, legal issues (pg 337)

3 types of martial schemata

traditional, separate, independent (pgs 325-236)

types of couples based on conflict

validating, volatile, conflict-avoiding, hostile (pg 327)

Commuter marriage

when spouses are voluntarily separated 3 or more nights a week for career-related reasons, each spouse has a separate residence