Love and Couplehood

Francis Tan, A., & Mialon, H. M. (2015). "A diamond is forever" and other fairy tales: The relationship between wedding expenses and marriage duration.

"De Beers" marketing efforts were effective: Prior to World War II, in Western countries, only 10% of engagement rings contained a diamond. By the end of the century, about 80% did.But- the bigger the diamond the longer the marriage? -Francis Tan & Mialon (2015) evaluated the association between *wedding spending and marriage duration* using data from a survey of more than 3,000 ever-married persons in the United States. -They found *evidence that marriage duration is inversely associated with spending on the engagement ring and wedding ceremony.* -This research suggests that the *types of weddings associated with lower likelihood of divorce are those that are relatively inexpensive but are high in attendance.* -It means that we shouldn't invest a lot in the ring and the ceremony, but should invite a lot of people as witnesses because then you feel bad about all the money they spent on your gift and attending the wedding, so you stay together even in difficult times. How can we explain their findings? - *Financial pressure is expected to be the main provider, and this puts a lot of pressure on the man and all this pressure can later lead to divorce.*

Post Modern Era

*A rejection of the self-governing, autonomous individual* with an emphasis upon anarchic collective. *The abandonment of the belief in one objective truth*: there's no universal reality or knowledge anymore, instead there are narratives-*different versions of the truth*, depending on different cultural experiences and context. One important characteristic of the postmodern era is "The crisis of representation". In the postmodern era it is claimed that many signifiers have lost their "signified"s and now has no meaning in reality. This confusing situation is called *"the crisis of representation"*.

Pretty Woman- the 7 stages

-The new Rapunzel- mixing traditional and new romantic stories. -The knight with his white horse/ limousine comes to the rescue- *being saved by a man*, achieving higher socio-economic class due to a romantic relationship with a man. -*Pygmalion effect- a man creates for himself a specific woman to love*, one that will behave exactly as he wants and according to his own values. -*Men as the voice of reason and high culture, women as creatures of nature that must be tamed and controlled.* Ex:the La Traviata opera song at the end of the movie depicting the frail heroine who dies essentially. "She rescues him right back"- Is it really so?? Does the movie offer a real feminist alternative?

Segrin & Nabi, 2002 Does Television Viewing Cultivate Unrealistic Expectations About Marriage?

Based on a survey of 285 never‐married university students, this study sought to examine the relationship between television viewing, holding idealistic expectations about marriage, and intentions to marry. Viewing of romantic genre programming (romantic comedies, soap operas) was positively associated with idealistic expectations about marriage. There was a high correlation to people who watched these kind of movies had a higher perception of the institution of marriage, and those who did not had less ideals of marriage. People already with strong beliefs of marriage usually will go to see these movies to strength their ideals on it already.

The revolutionary period (2006-now) Wilde

Brave or Frozen alternative perspective: This paper examines the repackaging of contemporary Disney princess fairy tales in a *post-feminist era* and explores the extent to which these princesses are portrayed as post-feminist. It examines the initial UK marketing material of Disney's Tangled (2010), Brave (2012) and Frozen (2013). Drawing on the evolution of fairy tales and historical Disney princesses the analysis focuses on romantic love, the positioning of protagonist relationships and gender ideologies. It revealed that contemporary princesses, especially Brave surpass many traditional notions of gender. *Evolving from a tale of a "heroine of life who has no story" , to one of an empowered and autonomous heroine.* Yet some of the initial promotional material overshadows strong post-feminine ideals and thus subjects the princesses to the traditional resolution of romantic love.

Hyper Reality- Jean Baudrillard

Hyperreality is the inability to distinguish between what is real and what is fiction. It is a byproduct of a world saturated with simulacra.

Simulacra - Jean Baudrillard

In his book "simulacra and simulation" (1981) Jean seeks to *interrogate the relationship between reality, symbols, and society.* He claims that *"Simulacra"* are copies that depict things that either had no reality to begin with, or that no longer have an original. -In other words, a signifier with no signified, a symbolic mythical concept revolving around itself with no meaning or possible manifestation in reality. -*Simulation*, on the other hand, is the imitation of the operation of a real-world process or system. For example, a simulation of a job interview. -In the *postmodern era people tend to think the representation is more "real" than reality itself.* -For example, *believing that the glamorous love depicted in the movies is more pure and real than the love experienced in reality* that sometimes includes compromising and routine.

He's just not that into you

Starts out with the couple fighting over he doesn't believe in marriage and if he is ever going to ask her to marry her. He says no. Next scene she goes to his boat where he is living and realises she doesn't need a marriage but just him and stands firm with a very feminist approach. End scene he gives in and proposes to her and they get married.

Reznik & Lemish High School Musical

This study explores the love stories written by 77 Israeli girls, aged 11-12 years old, in order to examine the *possible influence of the media on their romantic narratives and the gender roles* embedded within them. The girls were asked to write their own perfect love story and then participated in focus groups during which they explained the stories they wrote. Although many girls chose to express their imaginary romantic world by using popular media characters, plot lines and idioms, others offered a new and even revolutionary perspective on what a perfect love story can be, and especially the gender roles it can depict. *Stories about female protagonists who make the first romantic move, perform sisterhood as an act of resistance, or prefer to be an assertive non-stereotypical princess*, are analyzed in light of the girls' socioeconomic backgrounds and role models. Making the first move-LSES girls twisted the plot and made the girl confess she is in love to her crush probably because they are used to taking their destiny into their own hands and cannot sit around waiting for a better option. Alternative princesses-girls from both low and high income chose to negotiate with the character of the typical princess who will be saved by her prince and designed alternative female protagonists. Sisterhood as an act of resistance-LSES girls tend to prefer the boy while HSES (high socio economic state) girls chose in favor of their friendship.

Notting Hill (1999)- the 7 stages

o Julia Roberts o *Power relations and gender roles*: he's a simple unknown bookshop owner, she's a very famous, rich and successful movie star. o*Her speech*-" I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her" she presents herself as if she's normal in a vulnerable way to try to win him, but it doesn't work in the end. o *His final speech*- according to the rules of the genre, the *urgent run*, the last minute arrival before she leaves England, *her acceptance and the closure scene (wedding + pregnancy).* o The Hollywood formula is back in order, the traditional gender roles are duplicated and reinforced once more.

Girls - Post modern perspective

"Girls" keeps challenging and deconstructing basic terms and norms: -Romantic love- happily ever after? Shattering the Hollywood formula and romantic myths. Why do people fall in love? *The concept of "Damage" not as an obstacle to overcome, but as the reason the romantic relationship exist and an explanation of why two people are attracted to each other. Damage can't be avoided.* -Sexuality- Sex= pleasure? *Awkward sex, porn influenced sex, power relations and pressure within the realm of sexuality.* Sex and the city everything just flows and is perfect. -Beauty- who's beautiful? Which body can be exposed and desired? *Body Image* -*Femininity*- who are the "ladies"? Challenging gender norms, how do women think, eat, dance, have sex? -Motherhood- is there a mother's instinct? *Being a single mom and fearing motherhood.* -*Female friendship*- does it exist? Can you be loyal to a friend? *In both shows female friendship is a strong aspect.* -New York- glamorous and romantic? *In sex and the city New York is glamorous in Girls NY is real, dark, even gloomy sometimes.*

Mitchell. J. (2015). She's just not that into you: Dating, Damage and gender.

"He's just not that into you" movie does not represent the complex and dynamic nature of heterosexual dating. It reinforces Ideological domestication as far as the institution of marriage, the wedding myth. Girls on the other hand focuses on the damage in terms of sex and dating over the last two decades. It presents *damage not as an obstacle to overcome rather just showing what's real in relationships as far struggles and romantic exchanges*. In New York normal is impossible. Sex and the city tries to reinforce the notion that prospective partners are either too damaged or in need of fixing up. Girls show that damage you can't avoid rather embrace as a foundational part of the romantic package. Girls also shows the *shift in dating culture from end of courtship to things are more casual*. It also shows between Hannah and Adam bad sex is normal and happens more often than we think. Sex and the city with Big and Carrie and the other girls they overcome regular to moderate problems such as Big's fear of commitment and they live happily ever after. Hannah loves Adam because of his damage not because he changes. post modern perspective

TAKE ON ME - A-ha

"Take on Me" is a song by the Norwegian band A-ha. The video's main theme is a romantic fantasy narrative. An attractive comic book's hero winks at a girl who reads a comic book about his adventures. His pencil-drawn hand reaches out of the book, inviting the girl into it. -Once inside, she too appears in the pencil-drawn form, as he sings to her and introduces her to his black-and-white world which features a sort of looking-glass portal, where people and objects look real on one side and pencil-drawn on the other. -After the girl comes back to the real world she suddenly sees that the male character escapes from the comic book, trying to become human. Smiling, the girl runs towards him and it seems they're going to be together in the real world. But apparently, it's just another romantic simulacra where the signifier can't have a signified in real life. -The video story is effectively concluded in the intro sequence of its successor, "The sun always shines on TV", where we understand that the *romantic representation can't survive in the real world*

The 3 Disney periods

-*The classic period (1950-1959)*: Cinderella (1950) and Sleeping beauty (1959). Traditional fairy tales. -*Disney Renaissance (1989-1999)*: the return to making successful animated films mostly based on well-known fairy tales. Restoring public and critical interest in Disney after a few less successful years. -*The revolutionary period (2006-now)*: new narratives, voices, identities and gender roles are starting to appear... (after Disney buys Pixar in 2006) the first afro-American princess (year after Obama was elected) (2009), the new active Rapunzel Tangled(2010), revolutionary gender roles in "Brave" (2012), "Frozen" (2013) and "Moana" (2016).

The 7 stages Hollywood formula- how to get a happily ever after?

-Falling in love (Either rivals that don't like each other and then forced to spend time together; friends from childhood; physically bump into each other and exchange a look) -Facing an obstacle -Male realization -"The run" -"Getting back together"speech -Female acceptance -Closure scene (together forever)

Benevolent sexism

A *chivalrous* attitude toward women that feels favorable *but is actually sexist* because it casts women as weak creatures in need of men's protection. Benevolent sexism includes three subcomponents: 1. *Protective paternalism* (the belief that women should be protected and taken care of by men) 2. *Complimentary gender differentiation* (the belief that women are the "better" sex and have special qualities, such as a superior moral sensibility, that few men possess) 3. *Heterosexual intimacy* (the belief that only women can fulfil men's romantic needs). By portraying women as wonderful but childlike, incompetent, needing men to protect them, and therefore best suited for low-status roles, benevolent sexism can justify gender inequality.

Hefner & Wilson (2013) From Love at First Sight to Soul Mate: The Influence of Romantic Ideals in Popular Films on Young People's Beliefs about Relationships

A survey of 335 undergraduate students, who were asked to report on their romantic comedy movie viewing and beliefs about romance . Results showed that individuals who watched these films in order to learn (about love) reported stronger endorsement of romantic ideal beliefs than those who did not watch to learn (for escapism reasons). Both female and male adolescents seek out romantic content in tv in order to get info about dating. Or watch reality dating programs to learn about dating and romance. Phenomenon may extend to romantic comedy viewing. Basically, they seek out these movies to learn. They tend to embrace the romantic ideals even more because they were coming *ESPECIALLY to learn.* The context matters which messages are rewarded and which are punished? what is the function of the challenging messages in the movie? *Ideological domestication*- is the idea of presenting opposing or challenging views in order to discredit them and reinforce the dominant ideology. *Hefner &wilson findings about romantic challenges and ideals in movies were discredited/punished while romantic ideals were rewarded.*

The lose-lose situation

According to Eva Illouz the fact that we live in an age of simulacra and hyperreality makes the postmodern lover face an unfortunate "lose-lose situation" : 1. He dreams about experiencing the glamorous "bigger than life" romance he sees in the media, but can never reach it, hence left unsatisfied feeling his real romantic relationship is boring and dull in comparison with the romance portrayed in movies and fairy tales. 2. He finally experiences the same flamboyant romance he always sees in the media, but tragically when the romantic representation meets reality it loses its benefits and suddenly feels fake, unauthentic, a kitsch cliché, just a duplication without a real meaningful emotion behind it. *The Lose-Lose situation:* -When the representation supersedes reality and the signifier in the media has no real accessible signified in the real world, we are left with no path for a fulfilling romantic relationship. -Post modern critique of love -concept of love as simulacra-an unsatisfactory imitation or substitute

Christine Bachen and Eva Illouz (1996) How do Children interpret romantic representations?

Christine Bachen and Eva Illouz (1996) examined how 8- to 17-year-old children and youth in the U.S. interpreted romantic visual representations in magazine advertising. -They found that romantic perceptions of most participants were dependent on visual codes of consumption associated with an atmosphere of wealth and leisure, and on the location of the lovers in circumstances and places that deviate from their daily routine. -Similar to Illouz's study with adults, Bachen and Illouz found that the *romantic perceptions of children were influenced by the predominant model of love in the media, that associates romance with the capitalist market.*

The classic period Disney 1950-1959

Cinderella- the beginning, love at first sight, a glass slipper (symbolic value), marriage. -Glass slipper is very fragile, need to be very dependent on others to help you - also says that Cinderella herself is too fragile to run away; smallest feet are the "sexiest" (child feet- creeps) Sleeping beauty- 3 gifts from the good fairies, love at first sight, sealed with a kiss- coming back to life saved by the prince. -*Weak starting point*: (lady in distress)- Cinderella is an orphan, a servant in her own house, SB is cursed and hidden in the woods, far away from her parents, raised by 3 good fairies. -*Looks*: both white, skinny, have blond straight long hair, wear a pale blue or pink dress (naïve, a symbol for childhood ), beautiful- by the standards of the western "beauty myth". -*Falling in love*: both fall in love at first sight with a wealthy prince while dancing together, without a lot of words being said or really getting to know each other. -*Animals and nature*: both have strong friendships with animals (mice, birds..) and are depicted as part of the nature world. -*Other women= competition*: both face women who are jealous of their beauty (the step sisters, the wicked fairy), competing for male attention. Sisterhood can be found only in the case of old chubby ladies called "the good fairies" who are officially out of the competition... at the end of the day salvation is still the job of the prince, while the good fairies help him to get there. -*Happy ending= living happily ever after with a prince*: both found happiness after kissing/ marrying a wealthy prince.

Martin- queer love

Despite the assumption that children's media are free of sexual content, their analyses suggest that these media depict a rich and pervasive heterosexual landscape. We have illustrated two main ways that G- rated films construct heterosexuality. First, heterosexuality is constructed through depictions of *hetero-romantic love as exceptional, powerful,transformative, and magical.* Second, *heterosexuality is also constructed through depictions of interactions between gendered bodies in which the sexiness of feminine characters is subjected to the gaze of masculine characters. * First, the finding that heterosexuality is constructed through heterosexiness points to the ways that heteronormativity intersects with gender, race,and class in its constructions. While heterosexuality is normalized and expected, it takes different forms for different sorts of bodies, and this is especially true for heterosexuality outside of romantic relationships. Second,the finding that hetero-romantic love is depicted as exceptional, powerful,and transformative runs counter to current theoretical understandings of heteronormativity's scaffolding being the ordinary, expected, everydayness of heterosexuality. These films show heterosexuality to be just the opposite.

Henke & Zimmerman- And She Lived Happily Every After...The Disney Myth in the Video Age.

Earlier Disney heroines, such as Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty were portrayed as beautiful, obedient and powerless to control their own destinies. There are thwarted by evil, jealous, female villainesses. In the end, they find safety and happiness in marriage action to a prince while essentially having no narrative action of their own. The heroine is happy to accept a more comfortable life with a male controlling her new station. Pocahontas is the first Disney heroine to have her own female friends and mentors. Although Pocahontas is motherless. She feels the presence of her mother at every defining moment of the film through the physical manifestation of the wind.Her destiny is not defined by marriage and a future family.Love in Pocahontas is built on appreciation of difference and mutual respect for another's knowledge, wisdom and culture.

Eva Illouz: Love and Capitalism (1997)

Eva Illouz unravels the mass of images that define our ideas of love and romance, revealing that the *experience of "true love" is deeply embedded in the experience of consumer capitalism.* -Illouz studies how individual conceptions of love overlap with the world of clichés,nand images of love, sex,passion and commitment which she calls the "Romantic Utopia". -Since the beginning of the 20th century, advertisers have tied the purchase of beauty products, flowers, chocolate, jewelry, sport cars and even diet drinks to success in love and happiness. Vital part of this study was Jewlery the De Beers Campaign is a good example showing that it took a 2 months salary to buy a diamond engagement ring and their slogan was a "diamonds are forever" which totally changed the game. The ring represents romance but romanticised by media and ads. -Illouz reveals that, ultimately, *every cliché of romance- from an intimate dinner to a dozen red roses- is constructed by advertising and media images that survive off of consumption: material goods and happiness are allegedly available to all.*

Wilde on Brave and Frozen

Fairytales are a tool for children to explore "morals and societal ideals of good and evil" and often ideals of femininity. In 2000, Disney began repackaging the way in which the princesses were communicated and launched - Princesses are repackaged with positive associations of bravery, compassion and loyalty Brave-The Brave poster is encapsulating the "girl power" ideology -Merida stands alone as a female protagonist, -Not an object anymore but the subject -In control of her own narrative -Rebels against anything she does not believe in -How to fix a broken bond between mother and daughter as opposed to father and daughter -Looks:hair is wild and free, blue colored dress typically associated for boys. -The tale represents a post-feminist text through the shift from "binary" of what femininity should be, to the "diverse" post-feminist princess where women can take the lead - She has a voice and uses it to gain her freedom Frozen- - Anna more realistic princess looks-wise she dresses normal. - Elsa is locked away showing signs of submissiveness reinforces stereotypical ideas of femininity -Anna is portrayed as a heroine with girl power; she balances both feminine and masculine traits such as compassion towards others but also evokes independence as something that is natural and good. -Also shows humor used to only be for boys. -Anna saves herself from the snow monster shows bravery fearlessness -Although she falls in love quickly The notion of true love's kiss changes to finding the "right prince" -Frozen revolves around the relationship between two female protagonists

Four symbolic boundaries of love Eva illouz: Ch.4

Falls under the Anti- Capitalist Critique of Love Four symbolic boundaries of love Eva illouz: An interaction becomes romantic when four kinds of symbolic boundaries are set: TESA 1.*temporal*- romantic time set aside, special time, holiday, night 2.*emotional*- the norm of monogamy. difference between friendship and love even though friendship is a subcomponent of love. 3.*spacial*- rearrangement of the space of everyday life. the need to move away from your regular domestic space. 4.*artifactual*- objects different from those used for daily purposes. aesthetic or expensive objects usually. even getting dressed up. *supports the post modern idea that our cultural experience and social relationships have been entangled in goods and meaning of consumption.*

Hostile sexism

Feelings of hostility toward women reflected by negative assumptions about women. the belief that men are more competent than women, and thus are deserving of higher status and more power.

Becker, J. C., & Wright, S. C. (2011) Yet another dark side of chivalry: Benevolent sexism undermines and hostile sexism motivates collective action for social change

Found that exposing women to benevolent sexism decreases their engagement in collective action for social change, whereas exposure to hostile sexism increases it. When it's benevolent, you don't know that it's happening; it's difficult to pinpoint it - was it flattering or sexist? You can't really tell, so people won't "call to action" when they don't really know it's happening. Women who read a few sentences expressing benevolent sexist beliefs (e.g., "secretly, most women yearn for a man whose arms they can find protection and security in"), tend to be less interested in joining acts like demonstrations or petitions for gender equality, in comparison to women who were exposed to hostile sexism (e.g., "When women have to work together, they often get into cat fights").

The glass slipper effect- Rudman & Heppen(2003)

Investigated the relationship between *women's romantic fantasies and their interest in personal power*. Personal power means being in charge of your own life, knowing what you're worth, fighting for yourself - not being in charge of your personal power means that you let your significant other deal with everything. -It's only relevant for women, because men already have it; (that's their role in the fantasies anyway) but there is actually no correlation between the fairytales and whether or not men want to obtain positions of power. *Implicit romantic fantasies negatively predicted women's interest in personal power, including projected income, education goals, interest in high-status jobs, and group leadership appeal.* *Women may limit their personal strivings for power in exchange for love and protection of men.* By contrast, men's implicit romantic fantasies were not routinely linked to their interest in personal power. *The findings suggest a "glass slipper" effect for women, that may be a barrier to gender equity.* Called this way because of Cinderella - don't see her trying to save herself in anyway, the people/animals/fairies helping her are only making her pretty to get to the prince who then saves her. -Disney changed the endings of all these fairy tales to make them "happily ever after" - took it from the grim brothers in Germany, which actually wanted to teach kids and to scare them.

Eva Illouz: Love and Capitalism (1997)-The commodification of romance and the romanticization of commodities:

Looking at a wide sample of advertising images in women's magazines of the 1930s' and watching movies of that period, advertising and cinematic culture presented commodities as an inducer of emotional experiences and particularly of the experience of romance. Commodities of many kinds -soaps, vacation packages, watches, diamonds, cosmetics, and many others—were presented as enabling the experience of love and romance. This process is called the *romanticization of commodities*. The second process was that of the *commodification of romance*, which is the process by which the 19th century practice of calling on a woman, that is going to her home, was replaced by dating- going out and consuming together the increasingly powerful industries of leisure. *Romantic encounters moved from the domestic sphere to the sphere of consumer leisure.* *Commodities not only help people express their feelings, but they actually create feelings.* -The mere presence of candles, flowers, or heart shaped chocolates can make someone fall in love with you...

Pre Modern Era

Many people's sense of self and purpose was often expressed via a faith in some form of divine being, be that in a single god, or in many gods. *Pre-modern cultures didn't create a sense of distinct individuality*. The original meaning of things was possessed by authority (for example, the Catholic Church). The individual was dominated by tradition.

"Juno"- A whole different story.. (2007)

Poses an alternative to the traditional romantic narrative of Hollywood: -More equal gender roles (she delivers the speech) -No wedding in the end -Legitimising single motherhood and divorce -Showing a romantic relationship that isn't perfect but more realistic and modest. -A relationship within reach rather than a grandiose unattainable fantasy.

500 Days of Summer

Post-Modern Love An offbeat romance story of a girl who doesn't believe in love(summer), and the guy who falls for her(tom). -Beginning- "this is not a love story" Expectations Vs. Reality -It shows on one side of the screen expectations of Tom where he think he's going to her engagement party and magically she is going to fall in love with him. -Reality is she is engaged and getting married and happy with someone else so he realizes that in the middle of the party and gets up and leaves angrily. Thus showing that our expectations are based off of fairytales as opposed to facing reality and knowing you were just not the one for each other.

Modern Era

Scientific methods were developed, which led many to believe that the use of *science would lead to all knowledge*, thus throwing back the shroud of myth and tradition, under which pre-modern people lived. In the modern era symbols and their meaning functioned according to the relationship between what Ferdinand de Saussure called-"signifier" and "signified". *Signifier*- the *sound-image* linguistic sign given to the thing. Ex- the sound Google's logo creates in our mind. *Signified*- the *concept or meaning*, a mental association of the thing. Ex: the idea of Google

The Missing Piece Myth-Plato

Symposium" by Plato -Aristophanes speech of androgyny- we were originally two humans joined together in one body. -The sin of hubris- Zeus got mad and split them apart to two people forever longing to reunite... -Two missing dependant pieces (feeling half a person without a romantic partner), in comparison to an alternative romantic model of two people feeling whole and fulfilled on their own, while the romantic partner just add more joy to their already great autonomic life an alternative romantic model by Galician.

How to lose a guy in 10 days- the 7 stages

The 7 stages -*Gendered power relations*: referring to Andy's arguments as "Bullshit", suggesting that she doesn't really know what's best for her, making a decision for her and even paying the taxi driver- are all acts of power and symbols of masculine control. -*The female subordination* and surrender can be seen in giving up future promising career and self fulfillment for heterosexual love.If he loves her so much how come he's not willing to leave NYC with her and go after her to Washington? -As the lyrics of the song in the background suggest- "Any where you go I'll follow you down, I'll follow you down but not that far..."

Jerry Maguire- 7 stages

The 7 stages including the dramatic climax of Jerry's speech are depicted fully. -*You complete me"- the missing piece myth*, high dependency between the romantic partners (in comparison to a relationship between two fully self realized, independent adults) -*The ultimate female acceptance*: "You had me at Hello...". Apparently, the speech wasn't even necessary. -*Results of the speech: getting Dorothy back and restoring the trust in men* in general among the angry women in the room.

The Pygmalion effect

The Pygmalion effect is the phenomenon whereby others' expectations of a target person affect the target person's performance.The effect is named after the Greek myth of Pygmalion, a sculptor who fell in love with a statue he had carved. Ex: Pretty Woman where a man creates for himself a specific woman to love, one that will behave exactly as he wants and according to his own values.

Disney Renaissance period 1989-1999

The little mermaid (1989) the poor unfortunate souls -main theme of the song? The songs main theme is *female independence* compared to the classic times. First theme Ursula represents a mature a knowledgeable woman that is framed as evil. One might argue that knowledge means danger to the social order so in order to remain in social order they prince kills her. The song discusses how unfortunate people who are less attractive want love and Ursula can help them. This provides *false consciousness* where Ariel part of the merman community or the weaker community internalises the ideas of the human population and what it means to be human must be better because they are the better group. Also leaves the stronger group in power especially the fact that they are men reinforces our idea of *Gender roles*. It can also be seen when Ariel has to give up her voice in order to be with the prince Ursula says she still has her pretty looks and the power of body language. Shows a woman would give up anything for love even her voice. This follows the motive for female inferiority and remaining the status quo. *False consciousness*- It's a term that Marxist economists and philosophers use to describe a particular state of mind that prevents a person from recognising the injustice of their current situation. Pocahontas (1995):no wedding in the end... a punishment for being too active or a feminist ending? Mulan (1998)- a very brave warrior but in the end she goes back home to her family, not accepting the new job offered to her by China's emperor.

Ambivalent Sexism Theory- Glick & Fiske

The two sides of sexism that represent ideological beliefs that work together to stabilize the current gender hegemony. 1.Hostile sexism 2.Benevolent sexism

Holmes & Johnson, 2009 Where fantasy meets reality: Media exposure, relationship beliefs and standards, and the moderating effect of a current relationship

Two studies investigated popular media exposure, dysfunctional beliefs about romantic relationships, ideals, and relationship satisfaction, with relationship status as a moderator. Study 1:showed positive associations between the amount of television consumed and beliefs like *"the sexes are different"* and *"mind reading is expected"*, as well as decreased relationship satisfaction. The more you consume these series the more you are bind in to the myths of love and it seems more natural to you. -what they found actually is people in relationships were more satisfied because they know they already have it and single people thought of it as a far off idea. Study 2: participants were exposed either to a romantic comedy manipulation or control film. -Participants in relationships were more satisfied if they had viewed the manipulation film (romantic comedy), compared to those who viewed the control film(not watching a movie about romance). -Those not in relationships were less satisfied if they had viewed the manipulation film compared to those who had viewed the control.

Liquid Love-Zygmunt Bauman

Under love and capitalism- -In liquid modern times lovers come with an expiration date, like any other product that we can buy in the capitalist market. Therefore, when they lose their grace, and appear to be jaded and old, we tend to replace them and choose a new lover to have another liquid relationship with. *Consumerist consciousness*. -In the liquid modern times we want love to surrender to us like everything else does. We are chronic shoppers and we insist on our consumer rights: love and sex must give us what we have come to expect from our other purchases - novelty, variety, disposability. Ex: radiohead fake plastic trees talks about the fake love how we see people as products, like in the supermarket instead of picking products we are picking people. "She is my fake plastic love" shows how nowadays everything can be replaced and this is also how we see people. Due to dating apps that give us a variety of options we find it hard to commit. This belongs to the Anti-capitalist critique of love.

Popular Romantic Myths- Galician

Understanding the gap between representations and reality. Galician disagrees with Plato stating happiness is found when one knows how to be independent. The Myths: -Love at first sight -Your perfect partner is cosmically predestined so nothing can ultimately separate you -Fighting a lot means that you really love each other passionately -All we need is love so it doesn't matter if the romantic partners have very different values -The right mate "completes you" -filling your needs and making your dreams come true.

My best friends wedding- breaking gender norms, the 7 stages

What happens when a woman tries to break the gender norms and be active? -This time she goes after him, delivers a speech and hopes for the best... -*Her speech fails and she feels the need to apologize and mock herself for this shameful behavior.* -Being active as a woman and being brave enough to challenge the stereotypical gender roles both end up in failure and the *female protagonist must pay the price and be punished.* -*She doesn't get her love interest and stays alone*, settling for a gay friend that can't give her marriage, or sex. One that can only promises her dancing. She stays broken hearted for good, as the song in the background suggests- "to live without you would only mean heartbreak for me..."

The "Cinderella Complex"- Hefner and Wilson

Women who are used to depend on a man and fear to break this dependency, not taking responsibility for their own lives, waiting to be saved like Cinderella did.

Arranged Marriage Era to Romantic Era

Women's rights, industrial revolution and the development of ourselves: understanding that we have our own personal will, our own wants, needs and we don't need to be part of the norm (Though that has now changed to be the norm). Then of course De Beers launched their campaign for diamonds and then Hollywood started to create their rom-coms and that's where we are now.

Erich Fromm — The art of loving book

• Fromm presents love as a skill that can be taught and developed. He rejects the idea of loving as something magical and mysterious that cannot be analyzed and explained, and is therefore skeptical about popular ideas such as "falling in love" or being helpless in the face of love. ◦Back then we had more communities where we belonged to. In the post modern era people were more interested in being independent. • One of the most significant expressions of love, and especially of marriage with this alienated structure, is the idea of *"The team"*. • In any number of articles on happy marriage, the ideal described is that of the smoothly functioning team. • All this kind of relationship amounts to is the well-oiled relationship between two people who remain strangers all their lives, who never arrive at a "central relationship", but who treat each other with courtesy and who attempt to make each other feel better. • In this concept of love and marriage the main emphasis is on finding a refuge from an otherwise unbearable sense of aloneness.