Chapter 7

DOMA

•1996, the United States Congress implemented the Defense of Marriage Act, which explicitly defined marriages as a union between one man and one woman. •Allowed states to decide whether they wanted to recognize same-sex marriage performed in other states. •DOMA was enacted out of fear that the Hawaii statute would force all U.S. states to acknowledge and legitimize same-sex marriage. •Congress did not want the U.S. government to provide the same benefits (like tax credits and social security benefits) to LGBT couples as it does for heterosexual couples. •Even liberal members of Congress voted for DOMA, which was signed into law by President Bill Clinton, because they favored providing full rights to gay and lesbian couples in a structured alternative to marriage, like domestic partnership laws •Between 1996-2002, 36 states had passed laws explicitly banning same-sex marriages or the recognition of such unions performed in other states

Kin Marriages

•31 states have outlawed the practice, out of fear that babies born to married cousin will have birth defects •The risk of birth defects only increases by about 2% if the parents are biological relatives •However, too much inbreeding over too many generations can lead to dangerous recessive genes related to illness or deformity being passed down. •If two parents both carry a recessive trait, the trait is more likely to be passed to offspring, so the more genetically related two people are, the greater the chance of passing on recessive traits. •Marrying kin can also result in strong and healthy traits being reinforced and passed on to offspring, such as immunity to region-specific illnesses.

Infidelity stats

•According to a survey of marital and couples' therapists, an estimated 30% - 40% of women and 50% of men cheat on their spouses •These estimates may be high because these professionals work with clinical populations who may face more problems than the general population. •In anonymous self-reports of the general population, the numbers are much lower: 15% of women and 22% of men self-reported infidelity. •More recent research found that 20% to 40% of men cheat and 20% to 25% of women cheat. •70% of dating couples report infidelity

Covenant Marriages

•Are a reaction to high divorce rates and the perceived disintegration of the traditional family •Legal in 3 states (Arizona, Arkansas, and Louisiana ) •Restrict a couple's ability to divorce: •The couple must enroll in premarital counseling, endure a long waiting period for divorce, make every attempt to reconcile during predivorce counseling, and divorce only in extreme circumstances such as domestic violence, abandonment, and adultery. •People who have covenant marriages (versus standard marriages) have more traditional attitudes about religion and gender roles.

Interracial and Intercultural Marriages

•As laws were enacted to prohibit marriage between blood relations in the early part of the 20th century, they also evolved to outlaw interracial marriage. •In the 1940s, interracial marriage was illegal in 38 states •California Supreme Court challenged racial discrimination laws regarding marriage and California became the first state to declare that bans on interracial marriage were unconstitutional •In 1967, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down "anti-miscegenation" laws throughout the country, which had prohibited interracial marriage. •The Court said that all Americans had the right to marriage and the pursuit of happiness. •Approval of interracial marriage increased throughout the country •These trends show that, as court decisions are made and issues are exposed under the media spotlight, people's opinions may slowly change. Pictured right, Richard and Mildred Loving of Loving v. Virginia- key case

Overview of Contemporary Marriage Trends

•Committed partnerships are complex entities •Each partner brings a history of attachments, traumas and triumphs, and social and cultural contexts with them into committed partnerships. •A person's preexisting attitudes about sex and gender roles, expectations about the purpose of marriage, and judgments about their partner play key roles in the success of a marriage or other committed partnership. •Race, class, gender, and family of origin issues all affect the way people interact in their romantic relationships.

Same-Sex Marriages

- In 1987, the U.S. Supreme Court delineated four attributes characteristic of a marriage: (1) expression of emotional support and public commitment; (2) spiritual significance, and for some, the exercise of religious faith; (3) the expectation that for most, the marriage will be consummated; and (4) the receipt of tangible benefits, including government benefits and property rights •Same sex marriage came to the forefront in 1993

Common Law Marriage

•Common Law Marriage describes situations in which there was never a marriage license, legal contract, or formal ceremony. •Not all states recognize common law marriage •In common law marriage, the partners are viewed as living together exactly as "husband and wife" except that there was no formal ceremony. •By states recognizing common law marriage, children were no longer labeled "illegitimate" and all property rights and other benefits were bestowed upon the family. •Cohabitation, for many couples today, is seen as a substitute for the pressures of legal marriage, especially if they would reap no further benefits from being married than just living together, which is the case in many Western nations. •In the US, though, legally married couples have over 1,000 rights that unmarried couples don't have, including the right to visit each other in hospitals, the right to receive veteran's benefits and pensions of deceased spouses, the right for immigrants to become U.S. citizens if they marry citizens, the right to be housed together in senior care homes, and many others.

Specific Forms of Deinstitutionalization

•Contemporary marriage is something people work up to, when their finances, education, and maturity levels are stabilized. •Having a wedding is a prestigious event when couples can showcase their mature tastes, lifestyles, beauty, and personal achievements •Legal status of women in Western nations •Women can file for divorce •People can file for divorce for "irreconcilable differences", a logistically easier process •Today, about 1/3 of marriages end in divorce within the first 5 years •The median time from first marriage to separation is about 7 years •Fewer people believe children must be born within the confines of marriage •In 1980, 18% of births occurred outside marriage •Today, 36% of births occur outside marriage • •Cohabitation, or living together, is another increasing trend •The majority of those who eventually marry have cohabitated first •Domestic partnerships- relationships between couples who live together and share a common domestic life, but who are not married •People in domestic partnerships receive some legal protections and benefits similar to those provided by marriage

Divorce Rates

•Divorce rates in the US steadily increased between 1910-1990 (with a dip in the 1940s and 1950s) •After 1980s, rates started to level off •Today, the divorce rate is declining •However, researchers suggest that between 43% and 46% of marriages today will end in divorce

Types of Marriage

•Each state is allowed to institute its own marriage laws determining who can marry and how marriages can end, although the federal government can always step in •Example, In 1878, the Federal Court ruled that polygamous marriages were illegal, despite religious beliefs that legitimized it in some states. •All states now limit marriage to two people and will not allow people to marry another person if their spouse is currently living or they are not yet divorced •If people marry a new partner while still married, it's a federal crime called bigamy.

Domestic Partnerships

•Every region with its own domestic partner policy has different laws, requirements, rights, and responsibilities the couple must follow. •California alone had 15,000 same-sex couples registered as domestic partners before it legalized gay marriage. •Since marriage equality was enacted in 2015, Arizona and Maryland ended their domestic partnership benefits while Alaska still offers theirs •The controversy will continue to be debated across the country because, a lot of people, both straight and gay, do not want to get married and believe domestic partnerships should be recognized with equal rights. •Other people feel that now that everyone can get married, domestic partnerships and civil unions are unnecessary.

Health Benefits of Marriage

•In a 20-year longitudinal study, marriage was found to protect people by lowering their risk of dying, in comparison to those who were never married, divorced, or widowed •Unhappily married people are at a greater risk for poor health, and even mortality •Immune system functioning, HR/ BP elevations, stress hormone circulation, obesity, depression

Peer Marriages

•In peer marriages, the sharing of household labor is at least 60:40 or better, in terms of equal responsibility. •These couples see childcare, housework, earning money, and power as things to be shared equally. •Many couples stated the desire to avoid the oppressive models they had grown up with; others said they had a crisis that led them to reevaluate their marriage; still others said they wanted to be completely present in their children's lives and to truly co-parent. •Women in peer marriages are more likely to keep their last name •Illustrates the changing social norms regarding gender roles, marriage, and parenting.

Key Historical Turning Points in Same-Sex Marriage

•In the 1993 Hawaiian case of Baehr v. Lewin, the plaintiffs argued that restricting LG couples from marrying violated the equal protection clause of the Constitution. •While the state court did not legalize same-sex marriage, it argued that the state of Hawaii would have a difficult time proving that disallowing same-sex marriage was not a violation of equal protection under the law. •The court argued that the state could not deny marriage based on gender or sexual orientation. •While the appeals were pending, in response, many other states across the country started to draft legislation that expressly forbade same-sex marriage

Three main types of Arranged Marriages

•In traditional arranged marriages, parents, elders, or religious leaders have complete control over marriage matches. •More common these days, however, is the modified traditional arranged marriage, in which family and community members may choose several potential spouses but the young people are allowed to make the final choice. •Third, there are now cooperative traditional arranged marriages, in which the family and the young person have equal abilities to bring in potential spouses, and the final choice is agreed upon jointly. •Examples, Nepal and India

Stats on interracial partnerships in the US

•Interracial couples are more likely to cohabitate than marry, perhaps due to lingering attitudes against such unions. •About 20% of unmarried same-sex partners are of different ethnic backgrounds •Between 1970 and 2000, black-white marriages in the US grew from 65,000 to over 300,000 (still only 1-3% of all marriages) •About 38% of all interracial marriages in the United States are between Latino/as and whites •Most interracial couples have some experience with marginalization, from people staring at them in public to outright discrimination in housing or other public arenas. •Cultural differences and variations in religion, dress, food, and political beliefs can increase stress within relationships and lead to lower marital satisfaction and higher divorce rates. •Holidays, rituals, food, visitation, and the beliefs instilled in children can all become sources of discomfort for interactions with the extended family. •The healthiest interracial couples will be able to straddle the fence equally between their two ethnic groups, raise their children to identify with both cultures, and feel a sense of pride and connection to both families. •The more parents can teach their children to identify with both cultures, the more likely it is that intercultural marriages can lead to successful bicultural identities.

Arranged Marriages

•It's not uncommon to see arranged marriages in couples from Asian, Middle Eastern, and African cultures, which make up a much larger percentage of the population than do couples in Western cultures. •Most of the research on arranged marriages has been conducted in India. •Among arranged marriages in rural India, 86% of women's families provide their husbands with a dowry. •If his family is unhappy with the dowry, the women often experience harassment from their in-laws. •When husbands or their families are unsatisfied with the quality of the dowry, women experience more depression and suicidal behavior. •Women have little power or personal agency in these traditional arranged marriages.

Immigrant Marriages

•Many people migrate to new places in order to marry. •The largest immigrant groups in the US are of Mexican and Chinese origin. •About one out of six American marriages involve at least one immigrant partner. •Immigrants with white skin are more likely to marry US citizens. •When immigrants marry a US citizen, their SES tends to increase. •Marriage is the number one reason that people migrate to the US.

Marriages Before Industrialization

•Marriage was often considered a sacred bond sanctioned by God •Early Christians thought marriage was a corrupting institution and didn't think of it as a holy union until the 13th century (CE) •Many marriages were arranged •In India, families chose a partner for their child based on social class, educational attainment, and the quality of the partner's family •Each culture has its own rules of endogamy and exogamy

Cohabitation and Common Law Marriage

•More couples are cohabitating now, compared to previous generations •39% of couples who cohabitate have children •Cohabiters typically have lower income and education levels than married couples •They also tend to be less religious and more liberal •They tend to have more egalitarian views regarding gender role expectations •Some view it as a temporary step before marriage, some as an alternative to marriage, some as an alternative to singlehood

Financial Infidelity

•One of the most common things couples argue about is money, and people often choose mates based on their earning potential; this is even true of men. •Once they are married, financial infidelity causes many problems. •This refers to a partner keeping a secret financial life, such as private accounts, undisclosed debt, and personal credit cards. •Financial infidelity is increasingly recognized as a source of marital distress and a cause for divorce.

Premarital Counseling

•Premarital counseling is a brief form of therapy that helps couples outline their goals and align their expectations before getting married, in order to prevent divorce. •It can be a few short counseling sessions (4 to 6 hours total) provided by a clergy member or mental health professional. •The sessions tend to focus on communication skills, conflict resolution, sexual compatibility, finance management styles, childrearing attitudes, and brainstorming potential problems that might arise in the couple or with extended family members. •Premarital counseling often includes support, information, and skills development. •The goal is to put the relationship on the right footing, nip any problems in the bud, and hopefully prevent unhappiness and divorce.

Lesbian, Gay, and Transgender Relationships

•Research shows that very similar positive dynamics regarding heterosexual relationships also increase the relationship satisfaction of gay and lesbian couples. •Lesbian partners tend to experience closer intimacy, more equality, and more freedom to leave relationships than heterosexuals do. •Gay male partners reported more autonomy and fewer barriers to leaving. •In general, the relationship processes and issues that are important to relationship health are virtually identical in LGBT and straight couples. •Although there is very little research on transgender committed relationships, preliminary findings suggest that, like all other types of couples, transgender men in relationships with women report that trust, love, understanding, respect, and communication were key to the success of their unions

Contemporary Views of Same-Sex Marriage

•Same-sex couples are not allowed to marry in most countries around the world. •However, laws are continuously changing and being challenged globally. •When same-sex couples' unions are not legally recognized or are even subject to punishment or imprisonment, the uncertainty over one's legal status, worries over job discrimination, child custody issues, and social stigma can cause same-sex couples immense stress. •Dozens of countries specifically outlaw homosexuality •At least 67% of Americans believe gay and lesbian people are equal in status to and should have the same rights are heterosexuals •any in LGBT communities feel that same-sex marriage is a crucial stepping stone toward equality and full acceptance into contemporary American society •Keep in mind, however, that even some members of LGBT communities are opposed to the idea of marriage •Some feel that it feeds into the traditional patriarchal and religious values of a discriminatory and capitalist society. "Traditional marriage is integral to the corrupt authoritarian structures of society; it is a suspect institution embodying within itself the patriarchy . . . the most important issue for gay and lesbian couples is whether or not they should "sell out" to the enemy—the patriarchal culture—that seeks to oppress and eliminate them."

The Institutionalization of Marriage

•The institutionalized form of marriage refers to a union that follows traditional rules and procedures for how people can or should marry (e.g., one man and one woman married legally in front of witnesses). •This institution has faced many changes over time. •One noticeable trend in marriage today relates to the reasons people get married in the first place. •Historically, people around the world married in order to connect kin groups and communities. •They married to have children, to share their lives with another person, and to publicly commit to a life of monogamy. •In the modern West, people commonly marry for love and to live happily ever after with their "soulmate." • •People in the contemporary Western world (and increasingly in Eastern and developing nations) are looking for this relatively new institution researchers call the pure relationship, one enters into strictly for the life satisfaction of the couple. •This type of relationship is based on the happiness of each partner. •It is entered into not for family, for kin, for children, to be protected by law, or for financial reasons. •If personal rewards decline, the pure relationship ends. •Interestingly, many people in pure relationships choose not to marry at all. •For them, marriage is seen as a choice, not an obligation, and the only reason to marry would be to make the partners happy. •Marriage rates have declined significantly in recent decades in Western nations as it is no longer seen as something one must do. •Arguments have been made that contemporary marriage has become deinstitutionalized, or changed significantly •The institution of marriage was once a rubric that people followed (a set of rules for how, when, and why people should marry) •In previous generations, most people followed the "rules" •Today, the social controls that once influenced people's behaviors are weakening, and in recent decades marriage rates have decreased. •Fewer people choose to marry and when they do, they're doing it later in life •In 1947, the median age for a first marriage was 21 years for women and 24 for men •In 2007, the median age for a first marriage was 26 for women and 27/28 for men •Deinstitutionalization has allowed people more freedom to negotiate the terms of their relationships as well as define their own roles in marriages

Unresolved conflict

•The most common issues are financial issues, sex frequency, and communication lapses. •The conflict itself is not usually the problem. •The problems lie in unhealthy processes that lead to conflicts becoming unresolved or handled in ineffective ways.

Sharing Roles in Committed Partnerships

•There have been changes in gender roles over the past 40 years •Today, more marriages are characterized by both partners sharing "in home" and "out of home" duties •This is especially true in cohabiting couples. •Cohabiters tend to share roles more equally than married couples •However, when cohabiting couples do get married, the roles go back to more traditional gender divisions •Most research on role sharing in committed partnerships is on heterosexual couples and little is known about the partnerships of LGBT couples. •Researchers have found that lesbian couples shared domestic tasks much more evenly than heterosexual couples did. •Gay men also shared responsibilities equally and divided tasks according to partner interest, not proscribed role expectations.

Examining the Modern Institution of Marriage

•Today, there is such variety in family life •We're in a state of flux, between traditional and postmodern families • •The SNAF is no longer the ideal toward which young people feel obligated to strive • •While it's true that fewer people choose to formally marry, 83% of men and 88% of women in the US eventually marry •Many see marriage as a moral choice for legitimizing relationships that will benefit society and children •People feel marriage is symbolic of their religious, cultural, and personal values, and is a way to show their moral character •When people marry their legal status changes and they are imbued with new rights and responsibilities

Marital Problems

•Two of the most common problems people fear before getting married is infidelity and unresolved conflict. •The top three marital problems people report that lead to divorce include growing apart, being unable to talk meaningfully to each other, and money problems.

Health Benefits of Happy Marriages

•We know biology has an impact on many facets of marriage •Marriage also has an impact on biology •The health of people in unhappy marriages is actually worse than the health of single people •The health benefits decline dramatically in conflictual marriages •Example, blood pressure

Marriage in the 19th Century

•Women had few rights within Victorian era marriages •Marriage gave the husband marital authority over his wife. •The wife was the property of her husband and all previous possessions belonged to him •The wife took the husband's last name as her own •In general, the wife followed the condition of her husband •Throughout history, people married those in their villages or kingdoms, most of whom were blood relations. •It is estimated that 80% of all marriages in human history were between second cousins or closer relation.