COMM: chapter 9 (trust)

trusting behavior

accords with the belief that another will not take advantage of one's vulnerabilities; we think the other person will behave in ways that produce beneficial results

ethnocentrism

belief that one's culture is superior

comparison level for alternatives

comparison of profits and costs derived from one relationship with those that might be derived from another relationship; used to evaluate if we should withdraw from a relationship

covert lie

concealing sensitive information

displacement

defense mechanism through which one releases anger or frustration by communicating feelings to people or objects perceived to be more accessible and less dangerous than the person who caused the negative feelings

neutrality

defensive behavior - communicates indifference

superiority

defensive behavior - encourages jealousy or resentment

certainty

defensive behavior - encourages perceptions of inflexibility

strategy

defensive behavior - presence of a hidden agenda

control

defensive behavior - promotes resistance

evaluation

defensive behavior - show a need to control someone else's thinking or behavior

lie

deliberate distortion or concealment of information; intentional deception of another person to convince him/her of something one knows to be untrue

overt lie

deliberately lying by distorting the truth

trust

displaying the willingness to rely or depend on another person; used to perform basic services, give us direction, and meet emotional needs

trustworthy behavior

does not take advantage of another's vulnerabilities; we become aware of the motivational preferences of another person, we recognize that the other person has confidence in us; we respond by exhibiting expected behavior

dangers of not forgiving

emotional, interpersonal, cardio, neurological, and immune system problems; creates stress chemicals (cortisol), which decrease metabolism

supportive environment

environment that builds trust and maintains each person's self of worth

stages of forgiveness process

experiencing self-justified anger; recognizing that anger does not feel good to you and desiring to repair the damage to the relationship; realizing that forgiveness has beneficial effects and choosing to let go our anger quickly; making the proactive choice to rarely, if ever, get angry

repression

forgetting or denial of disturbing stimuli

bases of trust

integrity; motives; consistency; discretion

failed trust

occurs when ingredient for trusting or trustworthy behavior is missing

cost-benefit theory - social exchange theory

one of the basic ways we make decisions about relationships; we work to sustain relationships that give the greatest total benefit; a relationship will be sustained only as long as perceived benefits outweigh emotional expenditures

perceived relationship benefits

perceived relationship rewards minus perceived relationship costs

white lies

prevent us from hurting other people's feelings

rationalization

provision of a logical or reasonable explanation for an unrealistic thought or feeling

counterfeit relationship

relationship based on a lie; done to gain reward or avoid punishment; motivated by desire to protect self-esteem, meet basic needs, initiate or preserve desired affiliations, and attain personal satisfaction; we most frequently lie to protect ourselves, but many are designed to protect others

Robin Dunbar

said that verbal communication evolved from a need to indulge in gossip

Abraham Maslow

said that we believe in ourselves and make growth choices; when we do this, we are self-actualizers

forgiveness

sense of peace and understanding when we stop blaming another for a perceived wrong; manifestation of personal control we have over our lives

gossip

social communication; fosters friendship, social cohesion; reduces stress; form of social grooming

self-actualizer

someone who becomes the ideal person they want to be and has complete self-fulfillment in all their relational goals

cyberbullicide

suicide committed in response to online aggression

empathy

supportive behavior - communicates concern

spontaneity

supportive behavior - deception-free

provisionalism

supportive behavior - encourages perceptions of flexibility

equality

supportive behavior - encourages trust

description

supportive behavior - neutral statements that promote communication

problem orientation

supportive behavior - promotes cooperation

cooperative

type of relationship - based on supportiveness, sharing, trust; built on sharing, interdependent efforts; trust is more likely to occur; agree that we have a right to satisfy our needs; ensure conditions that allow each of us to get what we want some of the time

supportive

type of relationship - helps to eliminate the threat level individuals experience in relationships; involves description, problem orientation, spontaneity, empathy, equality, provisionalism

defensive

type of relationship - occurs when one is insecure or protects self from attack; we may distort what the other person says and create an explanation that is self-protective; involves evaluation, control, strategy, neutrality, superiority, certainty

competitive

type of relationship - one party aims to beat or outsmart the other party; more apt to protect ourselves when communicating; precipitate defensive and threatening behavior; goals of parties are often contradictory; use of power to win