COMM: chapter 9 (trust)
trusting behavior
accords with the belief that another will not take advantage of one's vulnerabilities; we think the other person will behave in ways that produce beneficial results
ethnocentrism
belief that one's culture is superior
comparison level for alternatives
comparison of profits and costs derived from one relationship with those that might be derived from another relationship; used to evaluate if we should withdraw from a relationship
covert lie
concealing sensitive information
displacement
defense mechanism through which one releases anger or frustration by communicating feelings to people or objects perceived to be more accessible and less dangerous than the person who caused the negative feelings
neutrality
defensive behavior - communicates indifference
superiority
defensive behavior - encourages jealousy or resentment
certainty
defensive behavior - encourages perceptions of inflexibility
strategy
defensive behavior - presence of a hidden agenda
control
defensive behavior - promotes resistance
evaluation
defensive behavior - show a need to control someone else's thinking or behavior
lie
deliberate distortion or concealment of information; intentional deception of another person to convince him/her of something one knows to be untrue
overt lie
deliberately lying by distorting the truth
trust
displaying the willingness to rely or depend on another person; used to perform basic services, give us direction, and meet emotional needs
trustworthy behavior
does not take advantage of another's vulnerabilities; we become aware of the motivational preferences of another person, we recognize that the other person has confidence in us; we respond by exhibiting expected behavior
dangers of not forgiving
emotional, interpersonal, cardio, neurological, and immune system problems; creates stress chemicals (cortisol), which decrease metabolism
supportive environment
environment that builds trust and maintains each person's self of worth
stages of forgiveness process
experiencing self-justified anger; recognizing that anger does not feel good to you and desiring to repair the damage to the relationship; realizing that forgiveness has beneficial effects and choosing to let go our anger quickly; making the proactive choice to rarely, if ever, get angry
repression
forgetting or denial of disturbing stimuli
bases of trust
integrity; motives; consistency; discretion
failed trust
occurs when ingredient for trusting or trustworthy behavior is missing
cost-benefit theory - social exchange theory
one of the basic ways we make decisions about relationships; we work to sustain relationships that give the greatest total benefit; a relationship will be sustained only as long as perceived benefits outweigh emotional expenditures
perceived relationship benefits
perceived relationship rewards minus perceived relationship costs
white lies
prevent us from hurting other people's feelings
rationalization
provision of a logical or reasonable explanation for an unrealistic thought or feeling
counterfeit relationship
relationship based on a lie; done to gain reward or avoid punishment; motivated by desire to protect self-esteem, meet basic needs, initiate or preserve desired affiliations, and attain personal satisfaction; we most frequently lie to protect ourselves, but many are designed to protect others
Robin Dunbar
said that verbal communication evolved from a need to indulge in gossip
Abraham Maslow
said that we believe in ourselves and make growth choices; when we do this, we are self-actualizers
forgiveness
sense of peace and understanding when we stop blaming another for a perceived wrong; manifestation of personal control we have over our lives
gossip
social communication; fosters friendship, social cohesion; reduces stress; form of social grooming
self-actualizer
someone who becomes the ideal person they want to be and has complete self-fulfillment in all their relational goals
cyberbullicide
suicide committed in response to online aggression
empathy
supportive behavior - communicates concern
spontaneity
supportive behavior - deception-free
provisionalism
supportive behavior - encourages perceptions of flexibility
equality
supportive behavior - encourages trust
description
supportive behavior - neutral statements that promote communication
problem orientation
supportive behavior - promotes cooperation
cooperative
type of relationship - based on supportiveness, sharing, trust; built on sharing, interdependent efforts; trust is more likely to occur; agree that we have a right to satisfy our needs; ensure conditions that allow each of us to get what we want some of the time
supportive
type of relationship - helps to eliminate the threat level individuals experience in relationships; involves description, problem orientation, spontaneity, empathy, equality, provisionalism
defensive
type of relationship - occurs when one is insecure or protects self from attack; we may distort what the other person says and create an explanation that is self-protective; involves evaluation, control, strategy, neutrality, superiority, certainty
competitive
type of relationship - one party aims to beat or outsmart the other party; more apt to protect ourselves when communicating; precipitate defensive and threatening behavior; goals of parties are often contradictory; use of power to win