Final Exam Chapter 10

honestly

Guidelines for Communication Between Friends: Communicate _________: Honesty is one of the most important gifts friends can give each other. Even when honesty is less than pleasant or is not what we think we want to hear, we count on it from friends.

sweat

Guidelines for Communication Between Friends: Don't _________ the small stuff: Acceptance doesn't mean you have to like everything about your friends. It does mean you accept friends and don't try to change them to suit your personal preferences.

dual

Guidelines for Communication Between Friends: Engage in _______ perspective: We must understand our friends' perspectives, thoughts, and feelings.

differences

Guidelines for Communication Between Friends: Grow from ___________: Be open to diversity in people. Most of us choose friends who are like us. If we limit to people like us, we miss out on the fascinating variety of people who could be our friends.

geographic distance

Pressures on Friendships: External pressures: ___________________: Most friendships face the challenge of distance, and many don't survive it. The likelihood of sustaining a long-distance friendship also depends on other factors, such as socioeconomic class and sex.

personal changes

Pressures on Friendships: External pressures: ___________________: Our friendships change as our lives do. Because common interests are one of the bases of friendship, established friends may not share the new interests we develop. Socioeconomic class affects friendships because it shapes our interests and tastes in everything from music to lifestyle.

competing demands

Pressures on Friendships: External pressures: ___________________: Our work and our romantic relationships tend to be woven into our everyday lives, ensuring that they get daily attention. We may not have enough time or energy left to maintain friendships, even those that matter to us. We sometimes neglect established friends because of our relationships, especially new ones.

friends of the road

Pressures on Friendships: External pressures: Geographic distance __________________: Friends who change as we move along the road of life. ex. workplace, neighborhood friends

friends of the heart

Pressures on Friendships: External pressures: Geographic distance __________________: Friends who remain close regardless of distance and circumstances ex. intimate friends

diverse communication styles

Pressures on Friendships: Internal tensions: _________________: Misunderstandings that arise from diverse cultural backgrounds. Because our communication reflects the understandings and rules of our culture, misinterpretations are likely between friends from different cultures.

relational dialectics

Pressures on Friendships: Internal tensions: _________________: Opposing human needs that create tension and propel change in close relationships. Friendships can be strained when people have different needs.

sexual tensions

Pressures on Friendships: Internal tensions: _________________: This can cause difficulty between friends. Friendships between heterosexual men and women or between gay men or lesbians often include sexual tensions. Even if there is no actual sexual activity, sexual undertones may ripple beneath the surface.

external

Pressures on Friendships: _______________ pressures: These are pressures from the outside -Competing demands -Personal changes -Geographic distance

internal

Pressures on Friendships: ________________ tensions: Relationship stresses that grow out of people and their interactions. There are 3 of these. -Relational dialectics -Diverse communication styles -Sexual tension

role-limited interaction

The Development of Friendship: Model: _______________ (1st stage) We might meet a person at work, in a club, etc. The initial meeting is the first stage of interaction and possibly of a friendship. We tend to rely on STANDARD SOCIAL RULES AND ROLES. We tend to be POLITE and to LIMIT PERSONAL DISCLOSURES. People tend to rely on general scripts and stereotypes. They are often awkward and laced with uncertainty because people haven't worked out patterns for relating to each other.

friendly relations

The Development of Friendship: Model: _______________ (2nd stage) Each person checks out the other to see whether a COMMON GROUND and interests exist. (ex. After class, Jean makes a comment about the teacher to Paula. If Paula responds with her impressions of the teacher, she conveys the relationship-level message that she's interested in interacting)

moving toward friendship

The Development of Friendship: Model: _______________ (3rd stage) We start moving BEYOND SOCIAL ROLES. Many friendships never move beyond this phase. Disclosures tend to be LIMITED, as are investments and expectations of support. (ex. Emily might ask her associate Sam whether he wants to get a cup of coffee after work)

nascent friendship

The Development of Friendship: Model: _______________ (4th stage) This is the stage of EMBYRONIC friendship. As we interact more personally with others, we progress to sharing FEELINGS, VALUES, CONCERNS, INTERESTS, etc. Friends begin to work out their private rules for interacting. Working out rules for the relationship (ex. When my friend Nancy and I were in this stage, after brunch each weekend, we asked if the other wanted to get together the next weekend)

stabilized friendship

The Development of Friendship: Model: _______________ (5th stage) These type of friends assume they'll continue to see each other even if they don't have specific dates reserved. There is a mutually high level of trust; friends communicate more openly and fully. These type of friendships may continue indefinitely, in some cases lasting a lifetime *STRONGEST (ex. Once Nancy and I reached this stage in friendship, we didn't need to check with each other about getting together the next weekend - we just assumed that we would)

waning friendship

The Development of Friendship: Model: _______________ (6th stage) When one or both friends stop investing in a friendship. Sometimes, friends drift apart because one MOVES or the two are pulled in DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS by CAREER or FAMILY DEMANDS. Friendships deteriorate because they've run their natural course and have become boring. Many slowly fade rather than abruptly. -violation of trust -saying "I don't have time for you now" -criticizing -not sharing confidences

dialogue

The Nature of Friendship: Emotional Closeness: Closeness through ___________: For some people, communication is the centerpiece of friendship. A majority of women expect to know and be known intimately by close friends. (feminine speech communities, which emphasize talk as a primary path to intimacy)

doing

The Nature of Friendship: Emotional Closeness: Closeness through ____________: Sharing activities; Friends enjoy doing things together and doing things for one another (primary emphasis in men's friendships)

closeness

The Nature of Friendship: Emotional ______________: Emotional intimacy grows out of investments, such as time, talk, and shared experiences, and out of becoming familiar and comfortable being together. Although most people agree that closeness is central to close friendships, sex and gender influence how we experience and express intimacy with friends

invest

The Nature of Friendship: Willingness to ___________: Friendships are built on personal investments. We expect to invest time, effort, thought, and feeling in our friendships. We make investments face-to-face and by texting and posting on social network pages

trust

The Nature of Friendship: _______________: Trust has two dimensions. First, it involves confidence that others will be dependable. Second, trust assumes emotional reliability, which is the belief that a friend cares about us and our welfare. When we believe both of these dimensions, we feel safe sharing private information with friends, and secure in the knowledge that they will not hurt us

support

The Nature of Friendship: _______________: We expect friends to support us. Common various types of support is the message, "I care about you." We support friends by listening to their problems and letting them know they are not alone. Another important form is availability. We can be with friends so they have company in their sadness. (Women provide more verbal emotional support while men provide support through "covert intimacy" such as playful punching in the arm)

acceptance

The Nature of Friendship: ________________: We expect friends to accept us, including our flaws. Each of us has shortomings and ices, but we count on friends to accept us in spite of them. With people we don't know well, we often feel we need to put on our best face to impress them. With friends, we don't want to put up false fronts

development

The ___________ of Friendship: Friendships evolve through a series of stages Waning friendship Stabilized friendship Nascent friendship Moving toward friendship Friendly relations Role-limited interaction

relationship rules

___________________ are unspoken understandings that regulate how people interact (ex. Most friends have a tacit understanding that they can be a little late for get-togethers but won't keep each other waiting long. A delay of 5 minutes is within the rules, but a 40 minute delay is a violation)