will power
This is Your Brain and Body on Willpower
-Pause and plan (P+P) -Monitoring system dispersed throughout brain and connected to prefrontal cortex Constantly monitors thoughts, emotion, and stimulus If sees things that suggest break with longer term goals, system is activated Prefrontal cortex is stimulated Energy is redirected from the body to the brain Heart slows Breathing deepens Muscles loosen
You can't run from or kill a craving,
so fight or flight isn't the right response Essentially, you don't have to run from or kill a doughnut or the cravings it brings So if fight or flight can't help... what do I do?
The First Rule of WP: Know Thyself
-Self awareness is uniquely human -Can know how we will react to situations ahead of time -Self awareness lets you recognize when you need WP -This is important because most decisions stem from habit, so awareness lets us avoid that when necessary -Distraction really hurts WP for this reason -You lose your self awareness when distracted -Stanford marketing experiment: *50% more likely to choose chocolate over fruit when remembering a phone number Don't be distracted when using WP!
The Problem of Two Minds
-The system of self control was put on top of old systems, --it didn't actually replace them -We still have all of our ancient cravings/impulses -We have impulse and impulse control -Almost like having two minds/selves
The Neuroscience of I will, I won't, and I want WP stems from the prefrontal cortex
-Used to control voluntary physical movement -Has grown massively in humans -Now also in charge of willpower -Biases you to do the harder thing -In charge of I will/won't/want
The above response is fantastic for saving you from predators
All energy and every single physical and mental impulse goes to saving your hide right now Nothing is spared for tomorrow or long term planning However, WP is all about planning for tomorrow... so we can see why the fight or flight response causes problems
The Muscle of Self Control
All of his studies show that WP deteriorates as exercised All WP seems to draw on the same common reservoir
Meditate
Breath focus is a simple and powerful meditation technique. Here is how to do it in a nutshell: Sit still and stay put Sit in a chair with your feet on the ground or with crossed legs on a cushion. Don't fidget, don't scratch itches, don't move! Staying still is a huge part of why it helps WP, as you learn not to follow every impulse your brain throws out. Turn your attention to your breath Close your eyes or focus on a single spot (like a blank wall). Begin to notice your breath. Silently in your mind say "inhale" as you breathe in and "exhale" as you breathe out. When your mind wanders (and it will) just bring it calmly back to the breadth. Coming back to the breath again and again is what really stimulates the prefrontal cortex. Notice how it feels to breathe, and notice how the mind wanders After a few minutes, drop the inhale/exhale thoughts. Try just to focus on the sensation of breathing. You may sense the breath flowing in your mouth, maybe the rhythmic inflation/deflation of your chest, whatever. Your mind will still wander, just always calmly bring it back to the breath. If you need help refocusing, bring the inhale/exhale thoughts back. Start with 5 minutes a day, and once that is a habit bump it up to 15 a day. If that feels like a burden, drop it back to 5. A short practice every day is much better than a long practice every once in awhile.
Training the WP Muscle
Create a WP exercise or challenge
Stress and Self Control
Direct quote: "This week, test the theory that stress- whether physical or psychological- is the enemy of self-control. How does being worried or overworked affect your choices? Does being hungry or tired drain your WP? What about physical pain and illness? Or emotions like anger, loneliness, or sadness? Notice when stress strikes throughout the day or week. Then watch what happens to your self control. Do you experience cravings? Lose your temper? Put off things you know you should do?"
What is the threat?
Direct quote: "We're used to seeing temptation and trouble outside of ourselves: the dangerous doughnut, the sinful cigarette, the enticing internet. But self-control points the mirror back at ourselves, and our inner world of thoughts, desires, emotions, and impulses. For your willpower challenge, identify the inner impulse that needs to be restrained. What is the thought or feeling that makes you want to do whatever it is you don't really want to do? If you aren't sure, try some field observation. Next time you're tempted, turn your attention inward.
Stress always harms one's willpower
Don't increase stress in yourself or others to get things done Biologically, stress and willpower are incompatible and antagonistic systems
et's look at a more modern example When you see a carved object, your brain release dopamine
Dopamine affects your attention, motivation, and potentially actions Even seeing good food will cause your blood sugar to prematurely drop, boosting the craving even further
The Willpower Miracle
Exercise helps in pretty much every aspect of your life It is the closest thing to a WP wonder drug we have Heart variability shoots ups with fitness More gray and white matter throughout the brain Most increases in the prefrontal cortex In some cases as powerful as prozac for depression
The Five Minute Green Willpower Fill-Up
Feeling like you need a quick dose of more WP? Get outside for just five minutes and move around. This will help give you a quick willpower "fill-up". If that outside is green space, the effect is greater. It doesn't have to be a mega workout. Here are some examples: Get out of the office and head for the closest greenery Cue up your favorite song on your iPod and walk or jog around the block. Take your dog outside to play (and chase the toy yourself) Do a bit of work in your yard or garden Step outside for some fresh air and do some stretches Challenge your kids to a race or game in the backyard In the long run, exercise will give you much more energy and power than it takes away.
Create and meet self imposed deadlines
For example, clean a closet over time These will help in all aspects of your WP in the long run
Why we have WP
Fundamentally, WP was critical to healthy tribal dynamics (Don't steal food, mates, be too aggressive, etc.) As the world and society became more complex the demands of WP grew
So what actually causes high variability?
Good food, rest, meditation, low pollution, etc. all improve variability Basically, avoid stress to improve variability A calm mind is a WP mind
So, how much do you need to do?
How much are you willing to do? No point in setting a goal that you will abandon in a week Even 5 minutes can help
We can't control everything in our lives
However, we need to use WP to get better at it Use it or lose it But don't run a WP marathon every day!
I will and I won't are the two sides of self control
However, you need a 3rd thing beyond will/won't power You have to know what you really want And it isn't a brownie
Gain Willpower in Your Sleep
If you are surviving on less than 6 hours of sleep a night, you probably don't even know what it is like to operate with full WP Sleep deprivation absolutely murders WP Under 6 hours chronically is really bad
When Danger Strikes
Imagine the saber tooth tiger again It triggers the fight or flight response
Sleep deprivation
Impairs the brain's ability to use glucose Triggers sugar or caffeine cravings But even if you eat it, the craving will persist because the brain can't actually use the glucose in the blood efficiently Hits the prefrontal cortex harder than anything else, as it is the most energy intensive part of the brain Clinically called "Mild prefrontal dysfunction" With an impaired prefrontal cortex, all of your brain regulation begins to falter Alarm system and fight or flight are no longer kept properly in check Ordinary stress will trigger fight or flight, and you will be stuck in a permanent physiological mild fight or flight response
The WP Diet
Sugar spikes are not the answer to the above problem. Spikes lead to massive drops later, and that means massive drops in WP. A smooth and even supply of sugar is the best option in regards to WP. This means focussing on foods that are low on the glycemic index. Consult a dedicated dieting resource, but here are some low glycemic foods: lean proteins, nuts and beans, high-fiber grains and cereals, and most fruits and vegetables. A decent rule of thumb is if it looks like it's in its natural state (not much post processing) it is probably low on the index. Now, it will take SC adn WP to switch to these healthier foods, but they will give you increased returns given the even and steady blood sugar. Consider them a WP investment like exercise.
"Energy Budget" model for self control
In general your body will spend energy when it is plentiful, and conserve it when it is not More subtly it looks at the change in energy So increasing blood sugar, more WP Decreasing blood sugar, less WP People Who are Starving Shouldn't say No to a Snack
WP is also very costly
It also uses the body's resources aggressively Chronic WP is just as bad as chronic stress
As you exercise your WP, things will get easier
It is a positive feedback loop that can and will bring you a better life if you stick to it
Fatigue is literally in the mind
It's closer to an emotion than a physical sense of where your body is at The first wave of fatigue isn't a real physical limit This doesn't mean you can't hit true exhaustion, you can, but it comes much later than you think Truly good athletes learn to ignore the first waves of fatigue and push on
Is it a problem of energy?
Low blood sugar is a strong predictor of WP failure However, WP uses less raw glucose energy than a task like walking, so if you are walking then it isn't just energy
Meditation
Meditation increases the concentration of gray matter in the prefrontal cortex over time
Low blood sugar = scarce resources
Time to take risks and be impulsive The future doesn't really matter as much
Self-control is a nifty evolved response to a specific set of circumstances, just like stress is
To preserve health and happiness, you need to give up your pursuit of WP perfection You need time off, and you need to choose your WP battles wisely
Track Willpower Choices
Track every single one of your WP choices for a day. Be sure to look for the subtle ones as well! This tracking will prevent you from becoming distracted. Make a note of those decisions which helped or undermined your goals. This is important because the first step is to track what are causing the impulses that undermine your goals. Learn the cues and where they come from.
Brain has a very low energy storage capacity
herefore, very dependent on blood for energy If the brain detects a drop in blood sugar, it will start to cut back on energy consumption, and the prefrontal cortex gets cut very early So even if you can walk, your prefrontal cortex may still be restricted
The problem is that low blood sugar still pushes people to make risky and impulsive decisions
People on diets commit adultery at measurably higher rates
Here is one incentive that can apply to everyone who is exercising their WP
Practice will make things easier What is hard and takes a lot of WP now will become easier and maybe even second nature in time
Experiment: Relax to Restore WP Reserve
Relaxation is very important. So, here is a technique that activates the physiological relaxation response for 5-10 minutes. Lie on your back Elevate your legs slightly, or do what is most comfortable. Close your eyes and take deep breaths Focus on your body If you feel tension in any muscle, contract that muscle tightly for a few seconds then relax it Repeat for all tension in body Then just chill for 5-10 minutes in the knowledge that for these 5-10 minutes there is nothing you have to do besides relax and enjoy yourself :) If worried about falling asleep, set an alarm (A peaceful one!) Do this every day if you are able. It will both reduce your stress and increase your WP.
If it was actually a physical limit, they couldn't push on So why do we care about this?
Some theorize that WP is like this When we feel drained, we really aren't yet drained When you feel WP exhaustion, know that it isn't a true physical boundary, and you can keep going
A Willpower Workou
Strengthen "I won't" Commit to refraining from one trivial activity: don't swear, don't cross legs when sitting, don't slouch, don't use dominant hand to open certain doors Strengthen "I will" Commit to one small habit that you will do every day: meditate, call a family member, throw one old thing out Strengthen Self monitoring Formally track something you don't normally track. Calories, spending, time spent online, whatever works. A pen and paper is enough, but there are tons of self tracking tools out there. Scope out www.quantifiedself.com if you really want to get into it. Pick it and stick to it. Try to pick a workout that relates to your main challenge. So, if you want to save money, track your spending habits. If you want to exercise more, consider just doing 10 quick push ups before you shower. Even if you can't make it relate directly, you will still be improving your WP. Another way these exercises can come in handy is by easing you into truly massive WP challenges. Consider quitting smoking after a really heavy habit. If you can refrain from smoking for just some brief period for a work out, that will help in the long run.
The Cost of too Much Self-Control
Stress is very costly Diverts the body's resources to a perceived emergency But obviously, some stress is also good!
It is also a much newer system The Body's Willpower Reserve
Studies have shown that the best predictor of the strength of someone's P+P response is their heart rate variability
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
The best is obviously 8 hours a night, but that isn't alway possible. A single good night can help reverse multiple bad ones, so if you are busy during the week catch up on the weekend. Some studies suggest you can build up a reserve, so consider oversleeping if you know you are about to enter a hard stretch. Finally, naps can do wonders by breaking up consecutive waking hours. So the best is to actually get 8 hours, but if that fails consider catch up, stocking up, or napping. If you find yourself avoiding sleep, consider what you are saying "yes" to instead of sleep. Your WP issue may not be an "I will" go to sleep issue, but a "I won't" browse Reddit after 10pm issue. Consider what you have to say "no" to so you can say "yes" to sleep.
Train your brain for WP
The brain physically changes based on experiences You can train WP physically
Fatigue was in the mind
The brain uses fatigue as a trick to make you stop running It doesn't want you to hit true exhaustion, so stops you with "gas still in the tank" You will get the mental sensation of fatigue long before you are actually physically fatigued
So, what kind of exercise is best?
The kind you will actually stick to The body and brain don't really discriminate, so do whatever you are most willing to do
Why is self-control limited?
The more one uses WP the less active the prefrontal cortex becomes over a short time frame
The greater the variability, the greater the willpower
The sympathetic nervous system stimulates and "revs" the body This increases heart rate and decreases variability The parasympathetic nervous system puts the breaks on This decreases heart rate and increases variability Stress -> Sympathetic nervous system -> low variability Self control -> Parasympathetic nervous system -> high variability When people use WP, their variability goes up
Where There's a Want,
There's a Will
I want power is also critical
Therefore WP is really 3 sided
What a person believe about WP is their reality.
Therefore, whenever you feel WP exhaustion, just keep pushing It is just like early physical fatigue, and can be ignored
Essentially, everyone's heart rate tends to vary from moment to moment
These are small but safe fluctuations
Those who believe that WP exhaustion isn't a "true" representation of their physical mental reserves don't tire as quickly due to WP use
They just keep on pushing
The High and Lows of WP
Think about your own WP reserve. Is it high in the morning, but some the end of work exhausted? Are there any moments where it seems like the tank has been refilled? Think of your high and low WP moments, and plan around them. Align difficult activities with times of high WP
Meet Your Two Minds
Think of your challenge, what do the two parts of your mind want? Consider naming your impulsive self and impulse control self. This will help you identify them more easily, and make grappling with their competing drives a less muddied/confusing process
Breathe Your Way to Self Control
This is a "quick" fix that will help give you the edge in your WP struggles. Don't think that this alone will be a cure all, but it will help physically. When facing a WP challenge, slow your breathing to 4-6 breaths per minute. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system, increases heart variability, and in the end will give you a WP boost. If you can get yourself to breath this slowly naturally, that means more WP all the time
ll these things physiologically prime you to exercise willpower
This system is innate to all people, just like fight or flight, but it doesn't always feel like that
Why it matters now
WP distinguishes people Strong WP = Good life Statistically, WP is one of the best (if not best) determinants of success High WP = better leaders, better marriages, everything
People say the United States has lost its willpower
Well consider this 75% of American's report being highly stressed The average amount of sleep has fallen by 2 hours a night since the 1960s!
Train Your Mind and Body
What follows are two strategies that will give you absolutely the most bang for your buck in regards to improving WP Also they will help with general health and happiness
How real are the limits of self control?
When WP "runs out" is that just because exercising WP is getting hard or is that really a physical barrier? To find out, let's look at real muscles
Being bad at meditation is good for self control
When you are bad at meditation your mind will wander A LOT That skill translates directly into WP You notice you are off goal and then redirect Practice getting back to the breath This refocusing is almost like lifting a weight for your PF cortex So don't be worried when you struggle The struggle is what will improve your WP
Is your exhaustion real?
When you feel that first moment of "I want to give up" or other WP exhaustion, move past it. It can be ignored and pushed through in a manner similar to physical fatigue. However, be aware of feeling constantly drained. If you always feel drained of WP, you may have hit a real limit for the time being. However, even those limits can be increased with time and mental exercise.
What's Your "Want" Power
When your WP is getting low, tap into your want power. Consider: Think of how you will benefit from completing this challenge. Will you have greater health? More happiness? More freedom? Money? Success? Think of who else will benefit. If you can't do it for yourself, consider your children or others you feel an obligation to. Think of family, friends, or community. How will they benefit from you sticking to your WP challenge? Know that this challenge will get easier for you over time if you are willing to do what is difficult now. Think of how great it will feel when you succeed down the line. Is some discomfort now worth that? Find which one of these works best for you, and use it in times of need. Sometimes what you think will motivate you isn't what you expect, so experiment with them all!
The Willpower Instinct: Pause and Plan
Willpower has a biological signature It's like the fight or flight response, but very different Unlike FoF, it is triggered by internal conflict/threats In a nutshell, it slows your mind down
One Nation Under Stress
Willpower isn't a personality trait or a virtue It is a physical capacity and an instinct You don't always get to just make your mind up about it
The Value of Both Selves
Yes, the primitive impulse self can be frustrating However, it is still critical today
In some cases it works with the prefrontal cortex
eg. High prices can stimulate a pain response, making one less likely to overspend
