FAD 2230 Exam 3

mixed, or double, messages

A third tip for fighting in a more positive way is to avoid using mixed, or double, messages : simultaneous messages that contradict each other. Contradictory messages may be verbal, or one may be verbal and one nonverbal. For example, a spouse agrees to go out to eat with a partner but at the same time yawns and says that he or she is tired and has had a hard day at work. Or a partner insists, "Of course I love you" while picking an invisible speck from her or his sleeve in a gesture of indifference.

Defensiveness

Defensiveness means preparing to defend oneself against what one presumes is an upcoming attack. One of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse that means preparing to defend oneself against what one presumes is an upcoming attack.

unpaid family work

Unpaid family work involves the necessary tasks of attending both to the emotional needs of all family members and to the practical needs of dependent members (such as children or elderly parents), as well as maintaining the family domicile.

household labor

Women are likely to perform more of the household labor than men. Children do some household labor, but it is more often a socialization device or family group activity than a substantial sharing of parents' household tasks. Women whose husbands work more hours are less apt to see the division of household labor as unfair

rapport talk

Women, on the other hand, are likely to engage in rapport talk, speaking to gain or reinforce rapport or intimacy.

Violence Against Women Act

law passed in 1994 that increased federal resources to apprehend and prosecute men guilty of violent acts against women

Flextime

involves flexible starting and ending times, with required core hours.

casual feedback loop

workplace characteristics impact within-family interactions and decision making and within-family interactions and decision making impact the workplace

female-demand/male-withdraw interaction pattern

A review of research on couple communication in the 1990s strongly suggests that men and women differ in their responses to negative affect in close relationships. When faced with a complaint from their partner, men tend to withdraw emotionally whereas women do not. This pattern is so common that therapists have named it the "female-demand/malewithdraw communication pattern." In distressed marriages, this pattern becomes a repeated cycle of negative verbal expression by a wife and withdrawal by the husband. A cycle of negative verbal expression by a wife and withdrawal by the husband in the face of his partner's demands. In other words, women tend to deal with problems by bringing them into the open through initiatives that have an attention-getting negative tone. Men tend to withdraw emotionally from the disagreement or conflict.

flexible scheduling

About 28 percent of full-time workers have flexible schedules. Flexible scheduling includes such options as job sharing (two people share one position), working at home or telecommuting, compressed workweeks, flextime, and personal days (days off for the purpose of attending to a personal matter such as a doctor's appointment or a child's school program). Compressed workweeks allow an employee to concentrate the workweek into three or four or sometimes slightly longer days.

self-care

About 40 percent of children age twelve to fourteen and 8 percent of those age five to eleven whose mothers were employed were in self-care—that is, without adult supervision—for an average of seven hours a week. Self-care is more common in white upper-middle- and middle-class families than in black, Latino, or low-income settings, perhaps because of differences in neighborhood safety. An approach to child care for working parents in which the child is at home or out without an adult caretaker. Parents may be in touch by phone.

binuclear family

Ahrons's overall point is that the "good divorce" does not end a family but instead produces a binuclear family — two households, one family. It may help to think of a stepfamily as a binuclear family—a new family type that includes members of the two (or more) families that existed before the divorce and remarriage

labor force

Although human beings have always worked, it was not until the industrialization of the workplace in the nineteenth century that people characteristically became wage earners, hiring out their labor to someone else and joining a labor force. The term labor force refers to those persons who are employed or who are looking for a paid job. As family size declined and especially as the need for clerical workers and light factory workers expanded, women began to enter the labor force

independence effect

Although it may not affect marital quality, employment might nevertheless contribute to a divorce by giving an unhappily married woman the economic power, the increased independence, and the self-confidence to help her decide on divorce—called the independence effect. Some economists and sociologists posit that marriages are most stable and cohesive when husbands and wives have different and complementary roles—the husband the primary earner, while the wife bears and rears children and is the family's domestic and emotional specialist. Drawing on exchange theory, they assert that economic interdependency in marriage is a strong bond holding a marriage together. Occurs when an increase in income leads to marital dissolution because the partners are better able to afford to live separately

work-family conflict

Although the rough edges of the work-family conflict may be particularly sharp for single parents, two-earner marriages assuredly have them also. Whether one is single or married, "career and family involvement have never been combined easily in the same person.

family preservation

An alternative is family preservation, whereby a Child Protective Services worker is able to "leave the child with an impoverished or troubled family and provide support in the form of housekeeping help or drug treatment, and then visit frequently to monitor progress". The family preservation approach would not be appropriate if harm to the child appears imminent. Family preservation is a controversial strategy, but both removal of the child from the home and a family preservation approach carry risk. A program of support for families in which children have been abused. The support is intended to enable the child to remain in the home safely rather than being placed in foster care.

income-to-needs ratio

An even more telling statistic is the income-to-needs ratio—that is, how well income meets financial needs. Women and their children experience a decline of 20 to 36 percent in their income-to-needs ratio

sexual abuse

Another form of child abuse is sexual abuse : a child's being forced, tricked, or coerced into sexual behavior—exposure, unwanted kissing, fondling of sexual organs, intercourse, rape, and incest— with an older person. Eight percent of children (of all ages) in a national-sample survey reported being sexually abused.

power politics

As gender norms move from traditional toward egalitarian, all family members' interests and preferences gain legitimacy, not only or primarily those of the husband or husband/father. For example, the man's occupation is no longer the sole determining factor in where the family will live or how the wife will spend her time. This means that decisions formerly made automatically, or by spontaneous consensus, must now be consciously negotiated. A possible outcome of such conscious negotiating, of course, is greater intimacy; another is locking into power politics and conflict.

two-earner partnerships

As recently as 1968, there were equal proportions of dual-earner and provider-housewife couples: 45 percent of each. Today, two-earner marriages, in which both partners are in the labor force, are the statistical norm among married couples. Even though we may tend to think of two-earner couples as ones in which both partners are employed nine to five, spouses display considerable flexibility in how they design their two-earner unions. (Single-parent- headed households, of course, have more constraints on their choices.) These arrangements are everchanging and flexible, varying with the arrival and ages of children and with both spouses' job opportunities and working conditions, and involving experimentation with different solutions to managing work and family commitments. Marriage in which the wife as well as the husband is employed, but her work is not viewed as a lifetime career. His may be viewed as a "job" rather than a career, as well. Sometimes termed dual-earner marriage or two paycheck marriage.

refined divorce rate

Between 1960 and its peak in 1979, the refined divorce rate more than doubled. Then the refined divorce rate declined throughout the nineties. The refined divorce rate is the number of divorces per 1,000 married women. The refined divorce rate compares the number of divorces to the number of women at risk of divorce (i.e., married women). It is a more valid indicator of the rate at which marriages are dissolved than the crude divorce rate.

two-career relationship

Career men and women work in occupations that usually require education beyond the bachelor's degree, such as medicine, law, academia, financial services, and corporation management. The vast majority of two-earner marriages would not be classified as dual career because the wife's or the husband's employment does not have the features of a career. Nevertheless, the dual-career couple is a powerful image. Most of today's college students view the twocareer marriage as an available and workable option. For two-career couples with children, family life can be hectic, as partners juggle schedules, chores, and child care. Career wives, in particular, often find themselves in a paradoxical situation. The career world tends to view the person who splits time between work and family as less than professional, yet society encourages working women to do exactly that. Two-career families often outsource domestic work and are likely to employ an in-home caregiver, a nanny. Marriage in which both partners have a strong commitment to the lifetime development of both careers. Also called dual-career couple or dual-career family.

child support

Child support involves money paid by the noncustodial to the custodial parent to support the children of a now-ended marital, cohabiting, or sexual relationship. Because mothers retain custody in the preponderance of cases, the vast majority of those ordered to pay child support are fathers.

coercive power

Coercive power is based on the dominant person's ability and willingness to punish the partner either with psychological-emotional abuse or physical violence or, more subtly, by withholding favors or affection. Slapping a mate and spanking a child are examples of coercive power; so is refusing to talk to the other person—the silent treatment. One of the six power bases, or sources of power. This power is based on the dominant person's ability and willingness to punish the partner either with psychological-emotional or physical abuse or with more subtle methods of withholding affection.

Papernow's 7 Stage Model for Stepfamily Development

Creating a supportive stepfamily is not automatic. One stepfamily scholar has suggested a seven-stage model of stepfamily development: 1. Fantasy—adults expect a smooth and quick adjustment while children expect that the stepparent will disappear and their parents will be reunited. 2. Immersion—tension-producing conflict emerges between the stepfamily's two biological "subunits." 3. Awareness—family members realize that their early fantasies are not becoming reality. 4. Mobilization—family members initiate efforts toward change. 5. Action—remarried adults decide to form a solid alliance, family boundaries are better clarified, and there is more positive stepparent-stepchild interaction. 6. Contact—the stepparent becomes a significant adult family figure, and the couple assumes more control. 7. Resolution—the stepfamily achieves integration and appreciates its unique identity as a stepfamily

criticism

Criticism involves making disapproving judgments or evaluations of one's partner. One of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, in which a partner feels that his or her spouse is inferior or undesirable. One of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse that involves making disapproving judgments or evaluations of one's partner.

custodial fathers

Custodial fathers, like custodial mothers, are under financial stress.

report talk

Deborah Tannen's book You Just Don't Understand (1990) argued that men typically engage in report talk, conversation aimed mainly at conveying information.

family cohesion or closeness

Developing positive communication skills can help to create family cohesion —the emotional bonding of family members. That intangible emotional quality that holds groups together and gives members a sense of common identity.

divorce mediation

Divorce mediation is an alternative, non adversarial means of dispute resolution by which a couple, with the assistance of a mediator or mediators (frequently a lawyer-therapist team), negotiate the settlement of their custody, support, property, and visitation issues. In the process, it is hoped that they learn a pattern of dealing with each other that will enable them to resolve future disputes. Mediation is recommended or mandatory in all states for child custody and visitation disputes before litigation can be commenced. Nonadversarial means of dispute resolution by which the couple, with the assistance of a mediator or mediators (frequently a lawyer-therapist team), negotiate the terms of their settlement of custody, support, property, and visitation issues.

decline in remarriage rates

During the 1950s, both the divorce rate and the remarriage rate declined and remained relatively low until the 1960s, when they began to rise again. The remarriage rate peaked again in about 1972 but has declined somewhat since then. One reason for the decline in remarriage rates is that many divorced people who would have remarried in the past are now cohabiting. A second reason for the decline may be economic constraints and uncertainties, which discourage divorced men, in particular, who may already be paying child support, from assuming financial responsibility for a new family.

expert power

Expert power stems from the dominant person's superior judgment, knowledge, or ability. Although this is certainly changing, our society traditionally attributed expertise in such important matters as finances to men, while women were attributed special knowledge of children and expertise in the domestic sphere. One of the six power bases, or sources of power. This power stems from the dominant person's superior judgment, knowledge, or ability.

family leave

Family leave involves an employee being able to take an extended period of time from work, either paid or unpaid, for the purpose of caring for a newborn, for a newly adopted or seriously ill child, for an elderly parent, or for their own health needs, with the guarantee of a job upon returning. The concept of family leave incorporates maternity, paternity, ill-child, and elder-care leaves.

legitimate power

Finally, legitimate power stems from the dominant individual's ability to claim authority, or the right to request compliance. Legitimate power in traditional marriages involves acceptance by both partners of the husband's role as head of the family. Although this is not the case for all families in the United States, the current ideal in mainstream culture is an egalitarian couple partnership. One of the six power bases, or sources of power. Legitimate power stems from the more dominant individual's ability to claim authority, or the right to request compliance. Put another way, in a traditional society, male authority is legitimate power .

battered woman syndrome

Finally, unusually low self-esteem interacts with fear, depression, confusion, anxiety, feelings of self-blame, and loss of a sense of personal control to create the battered woman syndrome , in which a wife cannot see a way out of her situation

boundary ambiguity

From the family systems perspective, ambiguous loss is uniquely difficult to deal with because it creates family boundary ambiguity —"confused perceptions about who is in or out of a particular family". When applied to a family, a situation in which it is unclear who is in and who is out of the family. This is common in stepfamilies: Do children of divorced parents belong to two (or more) families? Are former spouses and their relatives part of the family?

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Gottman's research (1994) showed that conflict and anger themselves did not predict divorce, but processes that he called the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse did. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

second shift

Housework—even with the decline— remains substantial. Including child care, many employed wives (and some husbands) put in what sociologist Arlie Hochschild calls a second shift of unpaid family work that amounts to an extra month of work each year. Sociologist Arlie Hochschild's term for the domestic work that employed women must perform after coming home from a day on the job.

How do children fare in stepfamilies

How does membership in a stepfamily affect children's well-being? Considerable research has found that, on average, stepchildren of all ages have higher rates of juvenile delinquency, do less well in school, may experience more family conflict, and are somewhat less well-adjusted than children in first-marriage families. "Studies consistently indicate . . . that children in stepfamilies exhibit more problems than do children with continuously married parents and about the same number of problems as do children with single parents"

U.S. Children under 18 living in stepfamilies

In U.S. households, a little over 5 percent of children under age eighteen are stepchildren, and almost 6 percent of adult children (eighteen years old and over) who are living "at home" are doing so in stepfamily households. 88 percent of children under age eighteen in married-couple or cohabiting households are the biological offspring of both parents. Another 8 percent of children in two-parent households are the biological offspring of the mother and stepchildren of the father. About 2 percent of children in twoparent households are biological children of the father and stepchildren of the mother

neotraditional family

In a pluralistic society, there are alternative visions of the family model. Among evangelical Christians and other conservative religious sectors, a gendered division of labor, formal male dominance in decision making, and an egalitarian spirit combine in the neotraditional family. Although a husband's dominant power is legitimated in this milieu, in practice marital power is often negotiated. The "mutual submission" (of husband and wife to each other) justifies the shared decision making that characterizes many evangelical marriages. Another way in which a norm of equality is represented in these ostensibly husband-dominant marriages is in the emotional "economy of gratitude, as husbands display appreciation for their wives' "gift" of household work. Evangelical couples are committed to a headship model of marital power, yet this has an "enchanted" quality, symbolic of the religious commitment of the couple.Families that value traditional gender roles and organize their family life in these terms as far as practicable. Formal male dominance is softened by an egalitarian spirit. This [neotraditional] order is appealing to men and women who are discontented with . . . family modernization, the lack of clarity in gender roles . . . , and the pressures associated with combining two full-time careers. It is also appealing to women who continue to identify with the domestic sphere, who wish to see homemaking and nurturing accorded high value, and who wish to have husbands who share their commitment to family life. . . . Men who continue to seek status as domestic patriarchs who have the primary earning responsibility and at least titular authority over their families are also attracted to this order.

intergenerational transmission of divorce

In a test of the two major hypotheses about intergenerational transmission of divorce , using longitudinal data, Amato and DeBoer (2001) found support for the commitment to marriage hypothesis. When parents remained married, they served as models of optimism about solving marital problems. The tendency for children of divorced parents to have a greater propensity to divorce than children from intact families. A divorced parental family transmits to its children a heightened risk of getting divorced. Noting that "apparently, there is something in the divorce experience beyond that of parental conflict that exacerbates problems in stability in intimate relations in offspring", researchers have suggested the following four hypotheses to explain the intergenerational transmission of divorce risk

joint custody

In joint custody , both divorced parents continue to take equal responsibility for important decisions regarding the child's general upbringing. When parents live close to each other and when both are committed, joint custody can bring the experiences of the two parents closer together, providing advantages to each. Both parents may feel they have the opportunity to pass their own beliefs and values on to their children. In addition, neither parent is overloaded with sole custodial responsibility. Joint custody gives each parent some downtime from parenting. A situation in which both divorced parents continue to take equal responsibility for important decisions regarding their child's general upbringing.

informational power

Informational power is based on the persuasive content of what the dominant person tells another individual. A husband may be persuaded to stop smoking by his wife's giving him information on smoking's health dangers. One of the six power bases, or sources of power.

Stepfamily relationships

It is also important to consider that family boundary ambiguity may affect stepfamily relationships other than that between spouses and partners (e.g., biological parent-child, stepparent-stepchild, and between step[,] half-, and full siblings). Researchers should examine the effect of boundary ambiguity on the full array of stepfamily relationships. Although boundary ambiguity did not have strong effects on couples' relationships, the presence of stepchildren was associated with more disagreements and an increase in couples' perceptions that they may separate and that things would improve for their partner if they did. These findings are consistent with former work suggesting that the stresses of raising stepchildren may be responsible for high rates of divorce among remarried couples.

Displacement

Other forms of passive-aggression are sabotage and displacement. In displacement , a person directs anger at people or things that the other cherishes. A wife who is angry with her husband for spending too much time and energy on his career may hate his expensive car, or a husband who feels angry and threatened because his wife returned to school may express disgust for her books and "clutter." A passive-aggressive behavior in which a person expresses anger with another by being angry at or damaging people or things the other cherishes

sabotage

Other forms of passive-aggression are sabotage and displacement. In sabotage , one partner attempts to spoil or undermine some activity the other has planned. The husband who is angry because his wife invited friends over when he wanted to relax may sabotage her evening by acting bored. Sabotage is not always consciously planned.

childcare

Policy researchers define childcare as the full-time care and education of children under age six, care before and after school and during school vacations for older children, and overnight care when employed parents must travel. Childcare may be paid or unpaid and provided by relatives or others, including one of the parents.

unilateral divorce

No-fault divorce is sometimes termed unilateral divorce because one partner can secure the divorce even if the other wants to continue the marriage. The legal situation in which a partner seeking a divorce no longer has to prove "fault" according to a state's legal definition but only needs to assert "irretrievable breakdown" or "irreconcilable differences." Sometimes termed unilateral divorce. A divorce can be obtained under the no-fault system by one partner even if the other partner objects. The term unilateral divorce emphasizes this feature of current divorce law.

positive affect

Positive affect involves the expression, either verbal or nonverbal, of one's feelings of affection toward another. Meanwhile, still other couples were likely to communicate with positive affect, responding to each other warmly with interest, affection, or shared (not mean or contemptuous) humor. Positive affect typically deescalated conflict. Communicating with positive affect, of course, implies avoiding the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. The expression, either verbal or nonverbal, of one's feelings of affection toward another.

Levinger's model of divorce decisions

One model of deciding about divorce, derived from exchange theory by social psychologist George Levinger, posits that spouses assess their marriage in terms of the rewards of marriage, alternatives to the marriage (possibilities for remarriage or fashioning a satisfying single life), and barriers to divorce. Here we look at Levinger's model of divorce decisions from the perspective of the person considering divorce. This model, derived from exchange theory, presents a decision to divorce as involving a calculus of the barriers to divorce (e.g., concerns about children and finances; religious prohibitions), the rewards of the marriage, and alternatives to the marriage (e.g., can the divorced person anticipate a new relationship, career development, or a single life that will be more rewarding and less stressful than the marriage?).

relationship ideologies

One prominent researcher on marital communication, Mary Anne Fitzpatrick (1995), has found variation among happy couples in their marital ideology—ideas about the roles they should play, expectations for closeness and/or distance, and attitudes toward conflict.

role ambiguity

One result of role ambiguity is that society—and, hence, the members of the stepfamily itself—seems to expect stepparents and children to love one another in much the same way as biologically related parents and children do. In reality, however, this is not often the case, and therapists point out that stepparents and stepchildren should not expect to feel the same as they would if they were biologically related

cohabitation after divorce

One result of the significant number of remarriages and the growing incidence of cohabitation after divorce is that more Americans are parenting other people's biological children.

passive-aggression

One substitute for directly expressed anger is passive-aggression . When a person expresses anger at someone but does so indirectly rather than directly, that behavior is called passive-aggression. People use passive aggression for the same reasons they use other anger substitutes—they are reluctant to engage in direct conflict, often because they are afraid of it.

Equity

Or fairness can be thought of in terms of equity —are the rewards and privileges of the relationship proportional to the contributions of the partners?

child abuse

People use the term child abuse to refer to overt acts of aggression—excessive verbal derogation (emotional child abuse) or physical child abuse such as beating, whipping, punching, kicking, hitting with a heavy object, burning or scalding, or threatening with or using a knife or gun. (By current American standards, spanking or hitting a child with a paddle, stick, or hairbrush is not "abuse," although it is in Sweden and several other countries. Men, as well as women, are more likely to be victims of intimate partner violence as adults if they were exposed to child abuse or witnessed parental interpersonal violence as children. The act defines child abuse and neglect as the "physical or mental injury, sexual abuse, or negligent treatment of a child under the age of 18 by a person who is responsible for the child's welfare under circumstances that indicate that the child's health or welfare is harmed or threatened"

power

Power may be defined as the ability to exercise one's will. There are many kinds of power. Power exercised over oneself is personal power, or autonomy. Having a comfortable degree of personal power is important to self-development. Social power is the ability of people to exercise their wills over the wills of others. Social power may be exerted in different realms, including within the family. Parental power, for instance, operates between parents and children.

co-parenting

Shared decision making and parental supervision in such areas as discipline and schoolwork or shared holidays and recreation. Can refer to parents working together in a marriage or other ongoing relationship or after divorce or separation.

referent power

Referent power is based on a person's emotional identification with the partner. In feeling part of a couple or group, such as a family, whose members share a common identity, an individual gets emotional satisfaction from thinking as the more dominant person does. Alternatively, referent power might be a source of influence for the partner who is generally less dominant, for the dominant partner may gain satisfaction in behaving as the "referent" individual wishes. A husband who attends a social function when he'd rather not "because my wife wanted to go and so I wanted to go too" has been swayed by referent power. In happy relationships, referent power increases as partners grow older together. Some have argued that a primarily economic analysis does not do justice to the complexities of marital power. Perhaps a wife has considerable power through her husband's love for her, what we have termed referent power. One of the six power bases, or sources of power. In a marriage or relationship, this form of power is based on one partner's emotional identify cation with the other and his or her willingness to agree to the other's decisions or preferences.

Stability of Remarriages

Remarriages dissolve at higher rates than first marriages, especially for remarried couples with stepchildren". According to the Stepfamily Association of America, about 60 percent of remarriages end in divorce, compared with about half of all first marriages. As a result, a "conservative estimate is that between 20 percent and 30 percent of stepchildren will, before they turn eighteen, see their custodial parent and stepparent divorce"

reward power

Reward power is based on an individual's ability to give material or nonmaterial gifts and favors, ranging from emotional support and attention to financial support or recreational travel. One of the six power bases, or sources of power. With regard to marriage or partner relationships, this power is based on an individual's ability to give material or nonmaterial gifts and favors to the partner.

contempt

Rolling one's eyes indicates contempt , a feeling that one's spouse is inferior or undesirable.

sibling violence

Sibling violence is often overlooked and rarely studied even though the early National Family Violence Survey found it to be the most pervasive form of family violence. Nor is it only of the "harmless" teasing variety. A national-sample study found that 35 percent of children had been hit or attacked by siblings in the previous year. Fourteen percent were repeatedly attacked, 5 percent hard enough to have injuries such as bruises, cuts, chipped teeth, and sometimes broken bones. Two percent were hit with rocks, toys, broom handles, shovels, or knives. Sibling violence is not "kid stuff." This under-the-radar form of violence is rather frequent and can be quite injurious.

cultural script

Society offers members of stepfamilies an underdeveloped cultural script, or set of socially prescribed and understood guidelines, for relating to each other or for defining responsibilities and obligations. Set of socially prescribed and understood guidelines for relating to others or for defining role responsibilities and obligations.

family-friendly workplace policies

Some large corporations demonstrate interest in effecting family-friendly workplace policies that are supportive of employee efforts to combine family and work commitments. Such policies include on-site childcare centers, sick-child care, subsidies for child-care services or child-care locator services, flexible schedules, parental or family leaves, workplace seminars and counseling programs, and support groups for employed parents. Such research as exists on outcomes for employers suggests that these policies help in recruitment, reduce employee stress and turnover, enhance morale, and thus increase productivity

shift work

Sometimes one or both spouses engage in shift work , defined by the Bureau of Labor Statistics as any work schedule in which more than half an employee's hours are before 8 a.m. or after 4 p.m. It has been estimated that in one-quarter of all two-earner couples, at least one spouse does shift work; one in three if they have children. Some spouses use shift work for higher wages or to ease child-care arrangements. Thirty-six percent of fathers who spend time in child care of preschoolers worked non-day shifts. Shift workers not only face physical stress with night work or frequently changing schedules; shift work also reduces the overlap of family members' leisure time, and that can affect the marriage.

involved fathers

Still, it appears that there are two distinct models for the father-as-provider role. Some fathers (good providers ) work more hours than childless men, while others (involved fathers ) work fewer hours. An ideal for the baby boom and younger husband is to share wage-earning and family responsibilities on an equal basis and especially to be an involved father. Indeed, more fathers are taking off work following the birth of a child, and they are more visible in parenting classes, in pediatricians' offices, and dropping off and picking up children in day-care centers.

Stonewalling

Stonewalling is resistance, refusing to listen to one's partner, particularly to a partner's complaints. Avoiding or evading a fight is an example of stonewalling. Stonewallers react to their partner's attempts to raise disputed or tension-producing issues by refusing to engage with the partner's initiatives. They fear conflict and hesitate to accept their own and others' hostile or angry emotions. In addition, stonewalling may encourage one's partner to engage in "gunnysacking"—keeping one's grievances secret while tossing them into an imaginary gunnysack that grows heavier and heavier over time. Examples of stonewalling include saying things like, "I can't take it when you yell at me," or turning sullen and refusing to talk.

percolator effects

The "bottom up" operation of a stepfamily (from children to parents)

stay-at-home dads

The Census Bureau only considers those whose wives worked full time as stay-at-home dads . Although few men—0.4 percent—are stay-at-home dads by this definition, some 20 percent of fathers of preschool children whose mothers were employed were principle caregivers. A marital or cohabiting partner who is not employed but remains at home to take care of children and other domestic responsibilities.

motherhood penalty

The concept of the motherhood penalty describes the fact that motherhood has a tremendous negative lifetime impact on earnings, the "long-term earnings gap". "Women still earn a small proportion of what men earn [over a lifetime] . . . and remain financially dependent on men for income during the child-rearing years and indeed throughout much of their adult lives". Furthermore, the motherhood penalty has not declined over time despite women's increasing education, their attachment to the labor force, and, presumably, less discrimination and more opportunities for women to advance their careers

divorce divide

The decline in divorce rates varies by social category. It has declined dramatically for women college graduates, while less-educated women have experienced virtually stable divorce rates. This has produced what sociologist Steven Martin calls the divorce divide. Predictions are that only 25 percent of college women who married in the early 1990s will divorce, while over 50 percent. The gap in divorce rates between college-educated and lesseducated women. The divorce rate has declined substantially for college-educated women, but not for less-educated women.

occupational segregation

The distribution of men and women into substantially different occupations. Women are overrepresented in clerical and service work, for example, whereas men dominate the higher professions and the upper levels of management. The pronounced tendency for men and women to be employed in different types of jobs is termed occupational segregation .

economic hardship perspective

The economic hardship perspective assumes that economic hardship brought about by marital dissolution is primarily responsible for the problems faced by children whose parents divorce. Indeed, economic circumstances do condition diverse outcomes for children—perhaps accounting for one half the differences between children in divorced compared to intact two-parent families. But differences in outcomes exist within social class groupings. Children in better-off remarried or single-parent families still lag behind children from two-parent families on various outcome indicators. One of the theoretical perspectives concerning the negative outcomes among children of divorced parents. From this perspective, it is the economic hardship brought about by marital dissolution that is primarily responsible for problems faced by children.

family instability perspective

The family instability perspective is an additional theory of children's negative outcomes of divorce that has emerged since Amato's original article. The instability hypothesis stresses that transitions in and out of various family settings are the key to children's adjustment. The logic of the instability hypothesis is this: Transitions may include parents' separation; a cohabiting romantic partner's move into, or out of, the home of a single parent; the remarriage of a single (noncohabiting) parent[;] or the disruption of a remarriage. The underlying assumption is that children and their parents, whether single or partnered, form a functioning family system and that repeated disruption of this system may be more distressing than its long-term continuation. . . . Stable single-parent households or stepfamilies, in contrast, do not require that children readjust repeatedly to the loss of coresident parents and parent-figures or the introduction of cohabiting parents and stepparents. The thesis that a negative impact of divorce on children is primarily caused by the number of changes in family structure, not by any particular family form. A stable single-parent family may be less harmful to children than a divorce followed by a single-parent family followed by cohabitation, then remarriage, and perhaps a redivorce.

egalitarian relationships

The generation born in the United States has moved to a transitional egalitarian situation regarding marital power, typical of the rest of the country, in which "husband- wife relationships are more flexible and negotiated . . . [and] socioeconomic achievements become the basis for negotiation within the family"

interparental conflict perspective

The interparental conflict perspective holds that conflict between parents is responsible for the lowered well-being of children of divorce. Many studies, including that of Wallerstein, indicate that some negative results for children may not be simply the result of divorce per se, but are also generated by exposure to parental conflict prior to, during, and subsequent to the divorce

marital rape

The issue of marital rape arose as a feminist one in the 1970s and as such was conceptualized in terms of the law of marriage. Under traditional common law, a husband's sexual assault or forceful coercion of his wife was not considered rape because marriage meant the husband was entitled to unlimited sexual access. The legal situation has improved since the 1970s as a result of feminist political activity. As of 1993, all states have provisions against marital rape in their legal codes. A husband's forcing a wife to submit to sexual contact that she does not want or that she finds offensive.

life stress perspective

The life stress perspective assumes that, just as divorce is known to be a stressful life event for adults, it must also be so for children. Furthermore, divorce is not one single event but a process of associated events that may include moving—often to a poorer neighborhood—changing schools, giving up pets, and losing contact with grandparents and other relatives. This perspective holds that an accumulation of negative stressors results in problems for children of divorce. One of the theoretical perspectives concerning the negative outcomes among children of divorced parents.

parental adjustment perspective

The parental adjustment perspective notes the importance of the custodial parent's psychological adjustment and the quality of parenting. Supportive and appropriately disciplining parents facilitate their children's well-being. However, the stress of divorce and related problems and adjustments may impair a parent's child-raising skills, with probably negative consequences for children. Divorced parents do spend less time with children. Divorced parents, compared to married parents, are "less supportive, have fewer rules, dispense harsher discipline, provide less supervision, and engage in more conflict with their children. One of the theoretical perspectives concerning the negative outcomes among children of divorced parents. From the parental adjustment perspective, the parent's child-raising skills are impaired as a result of the divorce, with probable negative consequences for the children.

parental loss perspective

The parental loss perspective assumes that a family with both parents living in the same household is the optimal environment for children's development. Both parents are important resources, providing children love, emotional support, practical assistance, information, guidance, and supervision, as well as modeling social skills such as cooperation, negotiation, and compromise. Accordingly, the absence of a parent from the household is problematic for children's socialization. One of the theoretical perspectives concerning the negative outcomes among children of divorced parents. From the parental loss perspective, divorce involves the absence of a parent from the household, which deprives children of the optimal environment for their emotional, practical, and social support.

wage gap

The persistent difference in earnings between men and women. Differences in earnings persist in comparisons of employed women and men. Women who worked full time in 2006 earned eighty-one cents for every dollar earned by men. The wage gap (the difference in earnings between men and women) varies considerably depending on occupation and tends to be greater in the more elite, higherpaying occupations. For instance, in 2000, in the highest-paying occupation, that of physician, women made $80,000 while men earned $140,000 on average.

negative affect

The researchers examined all the interaction sequences in which one partner first expressed negative affect: anger, sadness, whining, disgust, tension and fear, belligerence, contempt, or defensiveness. Belligerence, contempt, and defensiveness (three of Gottman's indicators of impending divorce) were coded as high-intensity, negative affect. The other emotions listed above (anger, sadness, whining, etc.) were coded as low intensity negative affect.

resource hypothesis

The resource hypothesis holds that the spouse with more resources has more power in marriage. Resources include education and earnings; within marriage, a spouse's most valuable resource would be the ability to provide money. Another resource would be good judgment, probably enhanced by education and experience. Hypothesis that the relative power between wives and husbands results from their relative resources as individuals.

joint physical custody

The second variation is joint legal custody—in which both parents have the right to participate in important decisions and retain a symbolically important legal authority

stepmother trap

The stepmother role has been described as the stepmother trap : On the one hand, society seems to expect romantic, almost mythical loving relationships between stepmothers and children. On the other hand, stepmothers are seen and portrayed as cruel, vain, selfish, competitive, and even abusive. The conflict between two views: Society sentimentalizes the stepmother's role and expects her to be unnaturally loving toward her stepchildren but at the same time views her as a wicked witch.

neotraditional families

There are families, termed neotraditional families for whom a traditional division of labor is the ideal: This [neotraditional] order is appealing to men and women who are discontented with . . . family modernization, the lack of clarity in gender roles . . . , and the pressures associated with combining two full-time careers. It is also appealing to women who continue to identify with the domestic sphere, who wish to see homemaking and nurturing accorded high value, and who wish to have husbands who share their commitment to family life. . . . Men who continue to seek status as domestic patriarchs who have the primary earning responsibility and at least titular authority over their families are also attracted to this order. Wilcox associates this family model with evangelical Christianity, as well as Orthodox Judaism, traditional Catholicism, and Mormonism. It is most likely to be found in the middle and working classes of the outer suburbs and in rural areas. Families that value traditional gender roles and organize their family life in these terms as far as practicable. Formal male dominance is softened by an egalitarian spirit.

IPV (intimate partner violence)

Violence against current or former spouses, cohabitants, or sexual or relationship partners. Women are the primary victims of intimate partner violence reported in the National Crime Victimization Survey. rates of intimate partner violence vary greatly by race/ethnicity

crude divorce rate

We can extend the time line to 2005 if we use the crude divorce rate. The crude divorce rate has declined almost 30 percent since 1979 and has not been so low since around 1970. The number of divorces per 1,000 population

good providers

What sociologist Jessie Bernard terms the good provider role for men emerged in this country during the 1830s. Before then, a man was expected to be "a good steady worker," but "the idea that he was the provider would hardly ring true" because in a farm economy both husband and wife had roles in producing the family's income. A specialized masculine role that emerged in this country around the 1830s and that emphasized the husband as the only or primary economic provider for his family. The good provider role had disappeared by the 1970s as an expected masculine role

provider role

What sociologist Jessie Bernard terms the good provider role for men emerged in this country during the 1830s. Before then, a man was expected to be "a good steady worker," but "the idea that he was the provider would hardly ring true" because in a farm economy both husband and wife had roles in producing the family's income. The provider role (and its counterpart, the housewife role) lasted into the late 1970s. The proportion of married-couple families in which only the husband worked gradually declined from 42 percent in 1960 to 19 percent in 2004

intimate terrorism

a pattern in which a man seeks to control the behavior of his partner through repeated, serious, violent acts

relationship-focused coping

a response to stress designed to maintain and protect social relationships

Spillover

an occurrence caused by the demands involved in one sphere of work carrying over into work in another sphere

custodial mothers

are effectively gatekeepers, facilitating, or not, the noncustodial father's relationship with his children. All in all, custodial mothers frequently feel alone as they struggle with money, scheduling, and discipline problems. Objective difficulties are reflected in decreased psychological well-being

money allocation systems

arrangements couples make for handling their income, wealth, and expenditures. They may involve pooling partners' resources or keeping them separate. Who controls pooled resources is another dimension of an allocation system

physical custody

with physical custody (that is, residential care of the child) going to just one parent.

reproductive coercion

behavior related to reproductive health that is used to maintain power and control in a relationship; sabotage efforts of contraception, refuse to practice safe sex, or intentionally expose partner to an STI or HIV

belligerence

belligerence, "a behavior that is provocative and that challenges the spouse's power and authority. For example: 'What can you do if I do go drinking with Dave? What are you going to do about it? A negative communication/ relationship behavior that challenges the partner's power and authority

two-pot system

economic resources are divided and are distributed along biological lines, and are only secondarily distributed according to need

dating again

for the majority of divorced and widowed people, building a new community involves dating again. Nevertheless, counselors note that people who ended troubled first marriages through divorce are often still experiencing personal conflicts that they need to resolve before they can expect to fashion a supportive, stable second marriage. Counselors advise waiting until one has worked through grief and anger over the prior divorce before entering into another serious relationship

Remarriage

marriages in which at least one partner had previously been divorced or widowed

cycle of violence

pattern of repeating violent or abusive behaviors from one generation to the next

selection perspective

posits that individuals have pre-existing traits, called selection factors, that sort them into groups with higher divorce risks as well as negative outcomes after divorce

parallel parents

post divorce parental relationship in which former partners parent alongside each other with minimal contact, communication, or conflict; associated with worse child outcomes

stepfamily cycle

process by which new family members move from being strangers to forming nourishing and reliable relationships

family fluidity

refers to "the frequency and rate of changes in family related experiences and outcomes"

divorce fallout

refers to ruptures of relationships and changes in social networks that come about as a result of divorce

Remarriage rates

remarriages are assuredly more frequent in the United States today, compared to the middle decades of the twentieth century. The remarriage rate rose sharply during World War II, peaking as the war ended.

conjugal power

the ability to exercise one's will or autonomy in a marital relationship

emotional intelligence

the ability to perceive, understand, manage, and use emotions

re-partnering after divorce

the act of entering into a relationship after a divorce, which may lead to cohabitation or marriage

kin keeping

the act of serving as a reservoir for information about members of the family, which is passed along to the other members of the network

silver divorce

the proportion of divorces among older couples and those in long-term marriages has recently shown an increase

legal custody

the right to make important decisions about the children and the obligation to have legal responsibility for them

dripolator effects

two parent families operate from top-down (parents to kids)

job sharing

two people share one job

situational couple violence

violence that arises from a specific situation in which one or both partners act aggressively in anger

affection & antagonism

warm relationships are high on showing signs of love and affection while low on antagonism. Tempestuous unions are high on both affection and antagonism. Bland marriages are low on showing signs of affection as well as on antagonism. Hostile marriages are low on love and affection but high on antagonism.

common pot system

when economic resources for a family are pooled and distributed according to need regardless of biological relatedness