HDFS 1060 Chapter 7: Friendships

infancy (friendships across the cycle)

- capable of simple complementary and reciprocal interactions - play becomes more associative and cooperative - take pleasure in each others company

young adulthood (friendships across the cycle)

- continued search for intimacy - quality vs quantity quality of teen friendships appear to predict how satisying our future romances will be

Social Support (attributes of friendship)

- emotional - physical comfort - advice - material

women's friendships are ___ while men's are ___ (differences in friendship)

- face to face - side by side

physical comfort (attributes of friendship: social support)

- form of hugs and cuddling ex: holding has while having a medical procedure

advice (attributes of friendship: social support)

- form of information and guidance ex: friend gives you requested information about financial aid

adolescence (friendships across the cycle)

- friendships takes on prominence of family during this age - turn to friends rather than parents for satisfaction of important attachment needs proximity seeking separation anxiety safe haven secure base

Universal rules for friendships

- good friends are confidants - trustworthy and loyal - enjoyable and fun companions - similar to us in attitudes and interests - provide support whenever we need

Pets can serve as important sources of ___ providing many positive ___ and ____ physicals benefits for owner

- social support - psychological - physical

Love has more stringent___ and overt ____ (differences between friendship and love)

- standards - expressions of positivity

Gender difference in same-sex friendships: - emotional sharing is higher for - shared activities higher for

- women - men

elements of friendship

-Affective -Communal -Sociable -Respect -Trust -Responsiveness -Capitalization -Social Support

Men in friendships (differences in friendship)

-shared activities - companionship - fun - discuss sports and interests

If a typical user, you have neve met __ out of every 12 of your friends on facebook

1

material (attributes of friendship: social support)

- tangible assistance in form of money or goods ex: friend loans you car for your job interview

Socioemotional Selectivity theory (Friendships across the cycle: old age

- this change occurs because older adults have different interpersonal goals than younger people - when future is more finite, older adults aim for QUALITY of friendships over quantity

in a nationally representative dataset: intimate relationships are __ common in U.S than they used to be (friendship difficulties)

less

one thing to feel shy another thing to feel

lonely

For most of us, ___ often just a temporary state

lonliness

what type of friendships might you expect for young adulthood vs. midlife: College students

making new friends, seeing less of friends form H.S

Irony: behaving an a timid manner allows people to

mark negative impression of out that your were hoping to avoid - may seem awkward and dull -perceived as not fun - overtime, encounter neglect and rejection chronic shyness best addressed through greater calm and self confidence (easier said an done)

Loneliness occurs when we (friendship difficulties)

more - or more intimate, connections with others than we presently have

best support fits (complexities of social support)

needs and and preferences - invisible support is sometimes a good thing - support given in obtrusive manner doesn't add to stressed out person's current woes

in most cases when friendship do not las, or fail someone has

not followed the rules

rules help relationships, including friendships

operate more smoothly

separation anxiety (friendships across the cycle: adolescence)

people resist being separate form a partner and are distressed by separation from him/her

women discuss (differences in friendship)

personal issues and relationships

friends with benefits

platonic but with sexual relationship

good friendship can be counted on to (rules friendships)

play by the rules

Large social networks filled with acquaintances can occasionally be

too much of a good thing

True or Fales: you have accepted friends request from people who you don't like

true

safe haven (friendships across the cycle: adolescence)

turning to an attachment figure as a source of comfort and support in times of stress

secure base (friendships across the cycle: adolescence)

using a partner as a foundation or exploration of novel environments and other daring exploits

respect (elements of friendship)

value each other's talents and judgments

Can pets be our friends?

yes - this can be true given the pleasures and genuine support they provide tied to interdependency and importance of similarity between partners (both people like pets)

True or false: omen self disclose less (differences in friendship)

false - they disclose more

Love includes (differences between friendship and love)

fascination, sexual desire, and greater exclusiveness

Attributes of friendships

feel for one another - like, trust, and respect one another good friendships involve communion - give and receive meaningful self-disclosure Friends offer companionship - share activities and interest

sociable (elements of friendship)

friends are are fun and recreational

trust (elements of friendship)

friends have our back

having frineds makes it likely that youll be

happy too - base on 30 year study of 12,000 people(!): association to weight gain and loneliness too

friendships vary across

he lifecycle

higher amounts of all four types of social support are associated with (attributes of friendship: social support)

higher relationship satisfaction and greater personal well-being

fretting (shyness)

interaction with others in impoverished manner - fear negative evaluation from others - inhibited and guarded - manage conversation poorly

proximity seeking (friendships across the cycle: adolescence)

involves approaching, staying near, or making contact with an attachment figure

emotional (attributes of friendship: social support)

- affection, acceptance, reassurance - has real physiological - women provide more than men ex: partner who tries to reassure you when you're nervous about an exam

people provide better support when they are ___ and ___ and ___ (complexities of social support)

- attentive - empathic - able to tell partners what they need

old age (friendships across the cycle)

- smaller social networks and fewer friends than younger people - not unsociable just more selective - socioemotional selectivity theory

shyness (friendship difficulties)

- social syndrome ta combines reticence and inhibited behavior with nervous discomfort in social settings - fretting

Similar characteristics (friendship vs romance)

- high trust, knowledge and commitments

childhood (friendships across the cycle)

- increasingly able to take on other's perspective and understand points-of view - fair - weather cooperation

friendship across the life cycle

- infancy - childhood - adolescence - young adulthood - midlife

what type of friendships might you expect for young adulthood vs. midlife: Midlife

- larger social networks, than when single; - networks to now include family, in-laws, etc. (see less of friends, unless friends are shared for couple)

Friendships vs. love

- less confining (hence voluntary) - easier to dissolve (hence voluntary) - less likely to involve overt expression of positive emotion - do not typically involve seal intimacy (exception: friends w/ benefits)

women express __ and ___ in friendships (differences in friendship)

- love - affection

different characteristics (friendship vs romance)

- may be less caring, interdependence and mutuality

superficial relationships are problematic because

- not fulfilling need to belong - can led to depression - higher risk of health problems - heritable (genetic influences): almost 50% of loneliness is attributable to genetic influences

is it just about same-sex v. opposite sex relationships?

No - even opposite sex friendships show differences

Friendship

a voluntary, personal relationship, typically providing intimacy's and assistance, in which the two parties like one another and seek other company

social support (elements of friendship)

affection, advice, material assistance - stuff we get from others people that help us through tough times

responsiveness (elements of friendship)

attentive and supportive recognition of needs

feeling lonely isn't the same as

being alone

Friendships and love share some similarities an differences, although

both detail what it is like to be an intimate partner

Communal (elements of friendship)

common activities - having similar interests and values, - giving and receiving practical/instrumental assistance

Love is more (differences between friendship and love)

complex

Love involves more ___ than liking does (differences between friendships and love)

complex feelings

midlife (friendships across the cycle)

dyadic withdrawal - a people see more an more of a lover, they see less an less of their friends

Women give more ___ support (differences in friendship)

emotional

Affective (element of friendship)

emotional components - sharing of thoughts and feelings providing emotional support, etc

Social support can be of (attributes of friendship: social support)

enormous value

sheer amount of superficial information on Facebook perceived as

excessive by sum

capitalization (elements of friendship)

respond eagerly and energetically to our happy news

Perceived partner responsiveness powerfully (attribute of friendships: responsiveness)

rewarding - we are drawn to whose who led us to feel valued validated and understood - promotes intimacy - connected o self disclosure - being responsiveness to partners is good for us as well (better sleep; life feels more meaningful)

Friendship has the same building block as __ as a foundation but a mix of different components

romance

Friends matter in making or breaking our

romantic relationships - introduce us to potential partners - approve or disapprove of romance

what type of friendships might you expect for young adulthood vs. midlife: After college

see less of friends each week individuals were out of school; amount of time spent with same-sex friends and groups of three or more people declined

80% of us have experienced

shyness

Why is men's emotional intimacy less supported in North America (differences in friendship)

social norms are restrictive- gender roles men have more homophobia

Love typically results in (differences between friendship and love)

spending more time together

___ relationships can lead to loneliness

superficial

support receivers feel closer to (attributes of friendship: social support)

support givers

some people are better providers of (complexities of social support)

support than others - securely attached individuals

women spend more time ___ to friends on the phone (differences in friendship)

talking

Perceptions of support often more (complexities of social support)

than observed (codable) support - Perceived support has more to do with our satisfaction with a partner than the amount o support actually provided by partner - further, when content with intimates, we perceive them to be supportive