Interpersonal Multiple Choice Final
Which of the following is not a positive response to criticism? A) Not understanding the criticism B) Not agreeing with the criticism C) Denying the criticism D) Agreeing with the criticism
C) Denying the criticism
True or False: As a helper you can expect that once you have made a suggestion to a friend that the friend will follow through with it, especially if they make a commitment to do so.
False
True or False: Conflict should be avoided because it is unhealthy in relationships
False
True or False: If your friend has a need you can meet you should always do whatever you can to solve their problem.
False
True or False: Paraphrasing, or reflection of content, is repeating a message word for word.
False
True or False: You must always assert your rights
False
True or False: You should tell the other person you know how they feel when you are sympathizing with him
False
True or False: f a person indicates that he or she does not know what to say you should continue to use silence to encrouage him/her to think of something.
False
True or False: You have the right to not give reasons for your refusal or answer any questions
True
When Katie and Kevin went to the pet store, Kevin continually criticized what Katie was picking out. Katie felt anger rising inside her. Which would be an appropriate way to respond? A) Resolving inside herself: "I always pick out the wrong things." B) In pet store, stating to Kevin: "Well then why don't you try picking out something better." C) After leaving pet store, stating to Kevin: "I felt angry when you seemed to be criticizing what I was picking out." D) In pet store stating to Kevin:"Why did you even come with me if you're going to criticize what I do?"
After leaving pet store, stating to Kevin: "I felt angry when you seemed to be criticizing what I was picking out."
Anger can lead to and/or invite A) shame and guilt B) divorce C) violence D) all of the above
All of the above
Several effects of parents who fight on their children may include A) Depression and Anxiety B) Delinquent behavior, school problems, and underachieving C) Eating disorders D) All of the above E) A and B only
All of the above
The reverse of love, according to the author, is A) anger B) hate C) jealousy D) bitterness
Anger
The One-Step method of problem solving works best when A) You have different values from your partner B) You both make reasonably good decisions C) You appreciate each other's solutions D) B & C
B & C
When initiating a time-out some helpful tips are to: A) Ruminate over what your spouse did wrong. B) Write in a journal about what happened, what you were sensitive to, what differences might be helpful for the next conversation, and what concerns your partner had. C) Enter into a discussion of whether or not to call a time out. D) Do something you enjoy to re-establish a level emotional state. E) B and D
B and D
After an angry outburst I have said, " You know I didn't mean that. I was just mad and wasn't thinking of what I was saying." The other person tends to think what? (choose all that apply) A) Thank you for apologizing. B) I said some things I didn't mean either. C) The fact that you said it shows that it was really on your mind. D) It took a burst of anger for me to find out how you really feel about me.
C and D
What is "you-me" talk? A) Talk where one person speaks and then the other. A continual trade off of sharing B) Conversing about the here-and-now feelings going on between the speaker and listener C) Talk where one person sits and tells the other everything that he thinks about the other person D) None of the above
Conversing about the here-and-now feelings going on between the speaker and listener
The steps of the Win-Win Waltz include all of the following except: A) Express your initial positions B) Explore your underlying concerns C) Choose a mutually satisfying solution D) All of the above are steps.
D) All of the above are steps.
When Melissa is criticized about her messy side of the room, she doesn't understand the criticism. What can she do to respond to her roommate? A) State her lack of understanding B) Ask her roommate for specific examples C) Avoid the use of "I" statements D) both A and B E) both B and C
D) both A and B
When emotions are strong in a conflict, what is a good strategy? A) Take a break until the emotions go away B) Ignore the emotions and focus on the content until the emotions have diminished C) Deal with the emotional aspects of the conflict first D) Try to forget the conflict ever happened.
Deal with the emotional aspects of the conflict first
"I don't want you to worry, but I have something important I need to talk with you about after work. Call me at four." This is an example of: A) Emotion-packed phrases B) Colloquialism C) Semantics D) Disclaimer
Disclaimer
"I feel unfairly treated" is an example of what portion of the three-part assertion message? A) Description of behavior B) Disclosure of feeling C) Tangible effect D) none of the above
Disclosure of feeling
True or False: The skills described in the book are fairly modern and new techniques
False
True or False: When describing another person's behavior, you should draw inferences about the other person's motive, attitudes, character, and so on.
False
Josh and Jenny are newlyweds and just moved into their new house. What would be the best way for them to divide household responsibilities? A) Have Jenny do all the inside work and Josh all the outside work. B) Have Josh and Jenny discuss what they each prefer to do, and divide up the leftovers between them. C) Have Josh and Jenny each do half of the inside and outside work. D) Just assign responsibilities as issues come up.
Have Josh and Jenny discuss what they each prefer to do, and divide up the leftovers between them.
Which of the following statements is true? A) Helpers should do everything in their power to solve the other person's problems. B) It is the helper's job to rescue the client who cannot seem to do it for him/herself. C) Helpers should avoid becoming rescuers. D) Helpers should never offer solutions, even if they are just giving examples of possible ones.
Helpers should avoid becoming rescuers.
Which is not part of basic Christian assumptions? A) Jesus calls Christians to minister to the unsaved B) Jesus conquered death and re-established relationship with God C) People share part of God's character D) He is the creator of the universe
Jesus calls Christians to minister to the unsaved
Which of the following is NOT a step that will help you leave behind an upsetting period in your relationship? A) Let your partner know everything they have done wrong B) Apologize C) Listening to learn so as to prevent recurrences D) Full hearing of each other to put together the pieces of the puzzle of what happened
Let your partner know everything they have done wrong
1) You make an assertive response 2) The person responds to you definsively 3) What should be your next move? A) Restate the assertive response B) Confront the other person's defensiveness C) Listen reflectively to the person's defensive response D) Point out to the other person how he/she is wrong
Listen reflectively to the person's defensive response
What should you do when you notice you have become angry and have increased body tension? A) Release that tension onto the other person B) Own your anger and learn to cope with the tension feelings C) Blame the other person for making you feel angry D) Immediately become passive in the situation so you do not infringe your anger on the other person
Own your anger and learn to cope with the tension feelings
At it's best, assertion helps people develop what over their actions? A) congruency B) Similarity C) Strength D) Power of Choice
Power of Choice
In order to translate your new insights (about communication skills) into action you will need to: A) practice. B) read several more books about it. C) watch others only. D) avoid practicing
Practice
Which of these is not one of the three kinds of conflicts? A) conflict of values B) conflict of emotions C) conflict of destiny D) conflict of needs
conflict of destiny
Which is the final step of the fix-it sequence? A) make a request B) devise a solution C) describe the dilemma D) listen to the response
devise a solution
Third base, finding solutions, can take all of the following strategies except: A) doing something different B) bringing in additional resources C) Thinking about the situation in a new way and one that is less distracting D) doing the same things but trying to get new results
doing the same things but trying to get new results
____ is imposing one's own solution on the other person. A) denial B) domination C) capitulation D) avoidance
domination
The first step of apologizing is? A) accept responsibility B) clarify non intentionality C) express regret D) explain the circumstances
express regret
Years ago it was supposed that advances in technology would reduce the 40-hour work week and provide more leisure time. Now, however, the average work week is approximately ___ hours long. A) 45 B) 47 C) 49 D) 51
47
What does the author suggest to understand why you act angrily? A) Check the rearview mirror B) Look down the road ahead C) A and B D) None of the above
A and B
Which of the following is/are common traps in the problem solving process? A) not handling the emotions first B) not working out the nitty-gritty details C) trying to solve an unsolvable conflict
A and B
Love is a set of habits that include which of the following? A) the habit of speaking positvely B) the habit of listening to learn C) The habit of being critical and negative D) A and B only E) all of the above
A and B only
What is a good way to get a new veiw of the problem by focusing on the discussion? A) ask about difficulties B) ask about goals C) tell the client how you see the problem and see if he agrees D) a and c only E) a and b only
A and B only
A reflective summary is effective when the listener... (select all that are true) A) gathers together points that the speaker has brought up B) inserts his own opinion about what was said C) Selects relevant data- that which will help the speaker more clearly understand key elements of her situation
A and C
After you have taken stock and realized that you are wanting to stop the other person's crying for his/her benefit, which of the following is/ are step(s) involved in doing that? A) ask the person not to cry B) shift the focus to past happenings instead of future ones C) direct the person's attention to thoughts instead of feelings D) A and C E) B and C
A and C
Which of the following is/are expected outcomes of using the conflict resolution method? A) A growth in understanding and change B) For the change to only be personal because it rarely effects change in the other person C) The two parties may be ready to jointly come up with creative solutions to the conflict
A and C
What are some of the benefits of accepting a compliment? (Select all that apply) A) Accepting a compliment with healthy self-affirmation sends the message that you are pleased that the other person noticed and that you want to share your good feelings with her. B) Accepting a compliment shows that you are conceited. C) Openly showing that you are pleased with a compliment shows that you are weak. D) Accepting a compliment shows your humanity, vulnerability, and willingness to value other people's comments.
A and D
"Blowing off steam" can actually cause all of the following except: A) An increase in the amount of anger you feel B) Feel angry for a longer duration of time C) A clears conscience D) An increase in the amount of anger your partner feels towards you
A clear conscience
Jason wants to deliver constructive criticism to Matt. Here's his rough draft of the criticism: "Matt, we agreed that you would have the mock-up for the concert poster ready on Thursday. Today is Monday and it's still not complete. I know you have a lot of other things on your plate right now and this may not be at the top of your list. I am stressed out by this and I want you to have it completed by the end of the day." Which of the following steps in delivering criticism is Jason missing? A) Giving reasons for the criticism B) Acknowledging the other's thoughts and feelings C) Specifically describing the situation and behaviors D) A sincere positive comment
A sincere positive comment
Which of the following are ways that Bolton suggests introducing and using the ? (choose all that apply) A) You can use the method even when the other person or persons are not using it. B) When you are involved in a dispute you can briefly describe the method to the other person and ask them to join you in this way of relating. C) Introduce the method when things are clam and peaceful. D) You can use this method only to solve your own conflicts.
A, B, C
How can you show support to another person? A) being available to listen B) simply being there C) notice progress D) do not provide negative feedback even if it is honest E) A, B, and C
A, B, and C
You will probably be able to get more than a one or two word answer if you start a question with A) "Are you" B) "Is it" C) "What" or "How" D) "Do you"
"What" or "How"
William Hinds concluded that there are how many primary emotions? A) 14 B) 12 C) 10 D) 8
8
You know I never really liked living under my parent's rules because my popularity suffered. I see now that they really did do what was best for me," Joan says. At which level of content is Joan speaking? A) Feelings B) Ideas and judgments C) Facts about others D) Peak communication
Feelings
The philosophy of responsible assertion is that of taking a A) rigid stance. B) wishy-washy stance. C) rock hard stance. D) flexible stance.
Flexible Stance
John and Judy just left the amusement park. Which example would be an appropriate way for John to inquire about Judy's experience? A) You thought the day was terrible, right? B) I liked many of the rides but the crowds were out of control, we should not come here again C) I didn't enjoy this particular park, what did you think?
I didn't enjoy this particular park, what did you think?
Researchers believe that marital conflict and anger can lead to all of the following except: A) Headaches, hypertension, ulcers, and heart attacks B) High blood pressure, high cholesterol and low immunities C) Increase in joint pain and chronic arthritis D) Resentment, anxiety, sleep difficulties, and depression
Increase in joint pain and chronic arthritis
Gerald and Gina need a new washer, which of the following is not a good way for them to handle the situation? A) Admit they are both tired and agree to rest before the go to the appliance store B) Find a babysitter to watch the kids while they go to the appliance store C) Put off going to the appliance store until a better time D) All of the above would be good enough ways to handle the situation
Put off going to the appliance store until a better time
For most people, the primary career concern is: A) the ability to balance work and family life B) the ability to "move up the ladder" C) job security D) Whether there is sufficient excitement and challenge
The ability to balance work and family life
Which type of apology is best? A) The one-sided apology B) The two-sided apology C) The three-sided apology D) they are equally as good
The three-sided apology
What is the first step in the conflict resolution? A) State your views, needs, and feelings B) Treat the other people with respect C) Take a break to collect your thoughts D) Listen until you experience the other person's side
Treat the other people with respect
Which would not be a helpful way for Sophie to respond to Sam if he is criticizing her? A) What are you telling me you would like? B) You always criticize me, when are you going to stop? C) When I hear you criticizing me, I lose my desire to please you. D) All of these would be helpful
You always criticize me, when are you going to stop
Why do power struggles develop in helping relationships? A) a request for help changes the rules in the relationship B) asking for help shows vulnerability in the relationship C) the helper is responsible for the outcome of the helping relationship
a request for help changes the rules in the relationship
You should be aware of A) listening like a judge B) listening like litigator C) listening like a detective D) a, b, and c
a, b, and c
_________ is listening willingly to descriptions of problems that are personally threatening to us. A) active listening B) passive listening C) openness D) submissiveness
active listening
If new information sounds negative to you: A) should reject the new information B) try to change the topic to a more positive one C) push aside the new information D) actively listen
actively listen
Looking down at your nose and staring off into the distance with a bored expression are examples of what kind of eye contact body language? A) assertive B) aggressive C) nonassertive D) normal
aggressive
What are the ABCDs suggested for anger to be expressed safely? A) Speak without crossing into the territory of talking about the other B) Stick with nontoxic language C) Tune into what is useful, what might be true, in the difficult passage your partner is trying to share D) all of the above
all of the above
What is good about active listening? A) It allows the other person to no longer be alone in what he/she is feeling. B) It helps the other person understand his/her problem better. C) People release emotional tension. D) All of the above
all of the above
Which of the following is an ineffective cleanup strategy? A) blame B) retribution C) punishment D) all of the above
all of the above
Being ____ can sometimes take more time than being ____. A) nonassertive, assertive B) aggressive, assertive C) assertive, nonassertive D) assertive, aggressive
assertive, aggressive
Rebecca noticed her co-worker had begun to regularly come to work late, was not completing her daily tasks, and was no longer joyful and friendly with others. Out of concern for her co-worker, Rebecca asked her about these behaviors. In this scenario, Rebecca was demonstrating which positive relation behavior? A) give appropriate affirmations B) be positive and realize the contributions of others C) be helpful and supportive D) be friendly and considerate
be helpful and supportive
Another way to increase your sensitivity to your emotions is to listen to your ___ A) neighbors B) inner child C) body D) mother
body
Denial, avoidance, capitulation, and domination are all what? A) ideal ways to problem solve B) common alternatives to collaborative problem solving C) ways of dealing with conflict that are never appropriate D) ways of dealing with conflict that should be used repeatedly
common alternatives to collaborative problem solving
An aggressive person expresses her feelings, needs, and ideas at the... A) expense of herself B) proper level C) expense of others D) wrong time
expense of others
If Lisa and Mark are talking with one another and standing about 3 feet apart, they are occupying each other's ____ space. A) intimate B) social C) personal D) public
personal
_______ is an effort to patch up a relationship without working through the angry and hurt feelings and other conflicted realities of the realtionship. A) denial B) premature forgiveness C) capitulation D) domination
premature forgiveness
When describing the person's behavior that is violating your space you should be what? A) general B) specific C) agressive D) smiling
specific
When picturing a spotlight shining down to understand who can talk about whom, you should not A) talk about your interpretation of the other person's feelings when the spotlight is shining on you B) talk about yourself when the spotlight is shining on you C) ask about the other person when the spotlight is shining on you D) speak with I as the subject when the spotlight is shining on you
talk about your interpretation of the other person's feelings when the spotlight is shining on you
The area in life in which God created people to think in words to communicate with Him and others. A) spirit B) thoughts C) imaginations D) feelings E) actions
thoughts
What is the purpose of confrontation? A) to triumph over or punish the other person B) to help identify, explore and resolve contradictions thus contributing to a more consistent self-image. C) to let the other person know you disagree with what he/she is saying D) to point out the other person's flaws that they may not notice
to help identify, explore and resolve contradictions thus contributing to a more consistent self-image.
To discover needs, we try to find out ___ the person wants the solution he/she initially proposed A) how B) who C) why D) when
why
When stating your point of view during a conflict, which of these should you do? (Choose all that apply) A) Give as much detail as possible B) Say what you mean and mean what you say C) Disclose your feelings D) Avoid loaded works
B, C, D
Which of the following are true about process observation? (Select all that apply) A) It is best used at the very beginning of a conversation, before the other person has had time to continue to push you B) You specifically describe what you see happening in the interaction process and open up the discussion about the problem itself C) Process observation helps shift the discussion so that more progress can be made D) When the discussion becomes repetitious and starts running in circle, process observations can be used to get things moving again
B, C, and D
Some inner dialogues are A) about the feelings you are having and are afraid to express B) related to irrational ideas about rejection, respect, and competence as a person C) both of the above D) neither of the above
Both of the above
Relationships that make some contribution to your development and/or enjoyment of life are what? A) very nourishing relationships B) mildly nourishing relationships C) noncontributing relationships D) mildly toxic relationships E) very toxic relationships
mildly nourishing relationships
How does a person develop a theory of personality? A) consoling others B) personal experience C) academic education D) parental guidance
personal experience
When Henry was late to picking Hanna up, Hanna says, "Why were you so late? Do you not care about my time? I could have been home by now? I'm obviously not that important to you?" What are some good ideas from the triple-A Method that Henry could apply here? A) "You're absolutely right, Hanna. I was late." B) "Of course you're important to me, how could say that?" C) "I really am sorry for being late." D) "My shift ran late because, my boss wanted a coworker and I to complete a task we were working on.
" I really am sorry for being late."
Henry has been trying to get in contact with a friend from college the entire summer, but he hasn't heard back from him. When Henry finally sees his friend on the first day back to school, which of the following would be the best example of a perception check? A) "Hey, man! I tried getting a hold of you this summer, but I never heard from you. I wonder if I hurt you with that awful comment I made right before class ended last semester. Am I right in thinking that?" B) "Hey man! I tried getting a hold of you this summer, but I never heard from you. I think you must have been hurt by that awful comment I made right before class ended last semester. Can we just move forward?" C) "Hey man! I tried getting a hold of you this summer, but I never heard from you. That awful comment I made right before class ended last semester really put you off, didn't it? I knew it." D) "Hey man! I tried getting a hold of you this summer, but I never heard from you. I wonder if I hurt you with that awful comment I made right before class ended last semester."
A) "Hey, man! I tried getting a hold of you this summer, but I never heard from you. I wonder if I hurt you with that awful comment I made right before class ended last semester. Am I right in thinking that?"
Joel and Brittany have a marriage that is on the rocks. Their counselor recommended they begin to share more with one another when they exercise perception checking. This is an excerpt from a conversation they had recently: (Joel) "I am concerned about the way you left this afternoon without a note or explanation. You were gone for hours and I couldn't get a hold of you. I dropped my project and searched for you because I was worried." In this example, Joel is increasing commitment in his relationship with Brittany through his ______. A) Observable actions B) Observable feelings C) Communicated thoughts D) Communicated sensations
A) Observable actions
Empathy involves all of the following except A) hearing your mate's description of their feelings B) taking your mate's feelings seriously C) responding to their feeling's in a helpful way D) Belittling the other person for feelings the way they do
Belittling the other person for feelings the way they do
What emotion is most commonly expected when first practicing your helping skills A) awkwardness B) satisfaction C) accomplishment D) depression
A) awkwardness
Effective assertion is characterized by ___ without ___. A) firmness; domination B) domination; firmness C) submission; passivity D) friendship; conflict
A) firmness; domination
What are the thoughts that stop people from expressing positive feelings? (Select all that apply) A) She knows I love her, so why say it? B) I might embarrass him C) I'll be able to show that I'm a sensitive caring person, who has enough courage to show my tender side D) He already knows these positive things about himself so I shouldn't mention them E) I'll show I'm a weak sentimental old fool
A, B, D, E
Braided dialogue involves: A) listening attentively while your spouse is speaking B) digesting that information aloud C) then adding something from your own viewpoint on the topic while your partner takes the attentive listening role D) A, B, and C
A, B, and C
Force-it strategies: A) are paved with good intentions B) focus on what you don't like rather than on your preferences C) invite defensiveness D) A, B, and C
A, B, and C
Which of the following are mentioned as a conflict prevention and control method? (choose all that apply) A) Reflective listening B) Avoidance C) Assertion skills D) Awareness E) Increased emotional support
A, C, D, E
Which of the following is/are one of the six steps of the collaborative problem-solving method? A) define the problem in terms of needs, no solutions B) Throw out, at the beginning, any ideas that seem off the wall or unrealistic C) Plan who will do what, where, and by when D) Implement the plan E) Evaluate the problem- solving process and, at a later date, how well the solution turned out
A, C, D, E
The skill of positive listening requires activity: A) Paying attention B) Understanding C) Hearing D) Acknowledgement
Acknowledgement
Jake leaned forward, looked at the waitress in the eyes and said with a warm smile, "I hope to get you as our waitress the next time we come in. You asked questions about our allergies for clarification and you took our orders cheerfully, even though we changed our minds multiple times. Your service to our family was excellent today!" Which of the following makes Jake's compliment appropriate? A) His paralanguage B) His words C) His body language D) All of the above E) None of the above
All of the above
The steps to take a healthy, intimate dive into feelings include which steps: A) identify an emotional moment B) Recall a similar feeling in a past experience C) What's the same/different? D) Find new options E) All of the above
All of the above
What can be an effect of decisions not being made cooperatively? A) Depression B) Anxiety C) Obsessive-Compulsive disorders D) All of the above
All of the above
What is/are the goal(s) of listening? (choose all that apply) A) to understand the content of the other person's ideas B) To understand the meaning that his ideas have for him C) To understand the person's feeling he has about the issue D) To see things from the other person's point of view
All of the above
Which of the following are lead-in phrases that could be used to paraphrase content? A) From your perspective... B) The way you see it is... C) Your point of view is... D) It seems to you... E) All of the above
All of the above
Why is the Problem-Solving Model important? A) In their desire to resolve the conflict, people sometimes underestimate their needs. B) People sometimes agree to solutions which are unrealistic for them and then have a hard time carrying out the agreement. C) If a person has not carried through on the agreement, it is good to discuss what happened and to find ways of dealing with the obstacles that made it hard for him to live up to his part of the agreement. D) A and C. E) All of the above.
All of the above
What are some of the alternatives to acting assertively? (Choose all that apply.) A) Reanalyze the problem and determine whether you are protecting others from the consequences of their behavior. B) Reanalyze the problem and determine whether the person has the skills to engage in the desired behavior. C) Reanalyze the problem and determine whether assertive expressions of irritation are actually increasing the undesired behavior. D) Use listening, understanding, and discussion. E) Use empathy
All of them
How are excuses different from explanations? A) Excuses often cover up your real reason for refusing, while explanations do not B) When you assertively explain, you are giving personal information about yourself in away that says that you feel okay about yourself and that the other. person doesn't have to accept your explanation C) Both D) None of the above
Both
Helping is different from rescuing in that: choose all that apply: A) when someone is helped, her behavior changes in positive ways, and at some point she no longer needs the assistance. B) when someone is rescued, the rescuer eventually ends up as the victim and often in the persecutor-aggressor position. C) when someone is helped, she relies exclusively on the helper and assumes no personal responsibility. D) when someone is rescued, she realizes that she doesn't need to be passive anymore from the example of the rescuer.
Both A and B
When someone has a negative reaction to a well-meant compliment you should: A) Feel responsible for the other's incorrect thinking B) Restate your intent and try to find out how the person "took" your compliment C) Try to find out what the receiver wanted to hear instead D) Both B and C E) All of the above
Both B and C
Which option is NOT a good alternative to arguing with your partner? A) Set a time to sit down and discuss the situation rather than argue B) Argue and then use the arguments to fuel a passionate sex life C) Listen to your partner's concerns then state your own D) Find alternative activities you can do together, i.e; exercise, that can bring excitement to the relationship
Argue and then use the arguments to fuel a passionate sex life
Vital relationships involve both ___ and ___. A) Passiveness; aggressiveness B) Asserting; listening C) Comparability; charisma D) None of the above
Asserting; listening
Sometimes people misinterpret a simple expression of preferences or wants as nonnegotiable demands. What is NOT one of ways in which you can reduce the likelihood of this misunderstanding occurring? A) Ask the other person about her preferences or willingness to what you want. B) Quantify your wants on a verbal scale of "slightly", "moderately", "greatly", "extremely", or on a numerical scale of 0 to 10. C) Clearly state what your I Want statement means and what it doesn't mean. D) Assume that the other person knows you are not making a demand of her.
Assume that the other person knows you are not making a demand of her
Submissive behavior is appealing to many people because it is a method of what? A) avoiding conflict B) expressing your feelings effectively C) Respecting others and yourself D) Being kind to the other person
Avoiding conflict
What three things need to be in sync for accurate understanding to occur? A) actions, words, eye contact B) context, actions, words C) words, thoughts, desires D) intention, motivation, directness
B) context, actions, words
Andrea saw her new boyfriend go up and hug a female she does not recognize. "She must be an ex-girlfriend. I bet he still has feelings for her," Andrea thinks. Andrea's ______ is neutral, but her _______ could cause problems with her boyfriend. A) perception; sensory data B) sensory data; perception C) basic data; preference D) preference; basic data
B) sensory data; perception
Name the degrees of self-disclosure from least to most difficult to disclose, in general. A) Preferences, Basic Data, Beliefs, Feelings B) Basic data, Preferences, Beliefs, Feelings C) Preferences, Basic Data, Feelings, Beliefs D) Basic data, Preferences, Feelings, Beliefs
Basic data, Preferences, Beliefs, Feelings
Which of the following is a rational thinking alternative to: "She said she'd be back at four. She's ruining everything!" A) How dare she be late! I'll just make plans with someone else next time B) Poor me.. she must not really care about me at all. C) She did say she'd be back by four, and it is well past that now. I'm really disappointed, but I don't have to get myself upset D) Maybe she is being thoughtless. I don't like that at all, and I can find out if it's true. If it is, I can let her know I'm angry without blowing up or trying to make her feel bad or guilty E) Both C and D
Both C and D
Which of the following is NOT an example of asking for a reaction based on body language? A) "As we have been talking, I've noticed a kind of wry smile on your face like you were thinking what is this jive i'm giving you. Would you tell me what's been going through your mind as I've been talking?" B) "Your tone of voice leads me to believe that you are upset with me. I'm interested in hearing what is on your mind. Would you be willing to share that with me?" C) "If we talk it over, I'll make every effort to work out a mutually satisfactory compromise." D) "I'm concerned. You're frowning and I'm not sure if that means you don't understand what i've said or that you disagree. It would help me if you would tell me what your frown means.
C) "If we talk it over, I'll make every effort to work out a mutually satisfactory compromise."
Which of the following is not a sign of pseudo-consensus? A) One person holds their desires stronger than those of their mate's B) The decision was made by submission C) Bilateral listening D) The concerns of only one partner has been taken into account
C) Bilateral listening
The theory that supports that close relationships develop in terms of increasing self-disclosure is called the: A) Relational penetration theory B) Relational intimacy theory C) Social penetration theory D) Social intimacy theory
C) Social penetration theory
Conflict at its best is ____. and at its worse is _____ A) challenging; disruptive B) destructive; devastating C) disruptive; destructive D) enjoyable; hostile
C) disruptive; destructive
When a discussion gets very heated, these steps can be taken to stop the cycle. In what order should these steps be taken? A) Ask for information on the message that was received, Identify the source of the misunderstanding, Call for a Stop Action, Clarify what you meant to communicate B) Call for a Stop Action, Ask for information on the message that was received, Identify the source of the misunderstanding, Clarify what you meant to communicate C) Clarify what you meant to communicate, Ask for information on the message that was received, Call for a stop action, Identify the source of the misunderstanding D) Identify the source of the misunderstanding, Clarify what you meant to communicate, Call for a Stop Action, Ask for information on the message that was received.
Call for a Stop Action, Ask for information on the message that was received, Identify the source of the misunderstanding, Clarify what you meant to communicate
Which of the following is not something you should do while assertively persisting? A) Continue to persist until you get exactly what you want B) Be clear about what your goal is C) Respond flexibly to the other person's legitimate concerns or objections D) Deal effectively with comments that divert you from your goal
Continue to persist until you get exactly what you want
Jason wants to deliver constructive criticism to Matt. Here's his rough draft of the criticism: "Matt, we agreed that you would have the mock-up for the concert poster ready on Thursday. Today is Monday and it's still not complete. I know you have a lot of other things on your plate right now and this may not be at the top of your list. I am stressed out by this and I want you to have it completed by the end of the day." Which of the following steps in delivering criticism is Jason missing? A) Giving reasons for the criticism B) Acknowledging the other's thoughts and feelings C) Specifically describing the situation and behaviors D) A sincere positive comment
D) A sincere positive comment
The stop, look, and listen strategy means to... A) Stop being angry, look for a new conversation topic, and listen for new information B) Stop being angry, look for a new, positive, emotion to dwell on, and listen for examples of that emotion in dialogue C) Stop interacting completely, look for a new spouse, and listen for what you like in them as opposed to your previous spouse D) Stop interacting temporarily, look to expand your understanding of the situation, and listen to your spouse's concerns
D) Stop interacting temporarily, look to expand your understanding of the situation, and listen to your spouse's concerns
"Sam, I really like how this cake turned out!" Fran says. Sam, however, thinks the cake looks sloppily frosted and tastes too dry to serve people. Which of the following would be an appropriate way for Sam to respond? A) Thank you B) Yes, it is good, isn't it C) Oh, okay D) Hmpf, Yea right
Thank you
When Robin calls a friend to cancel a coffee date, she is tearful and says she just found out her grandmother passed away. The friend responds saying, "I am so sorry, Robin. This must be a shock. I know you were close with your grandmother." The type of listening the friend is exhibiting in this scene is: A) Empathetic B) Directive C) Receptive D) Open
Empathetic
Which of the following would be the best way to end a conversation? A) Express your preferences in a pleasant, clear, and informational (as opposed to judgmental) manner that does not put the other person down or make you responsible for his feelings. B) Allow your message to be communicated nonverbally. (Example: a flat, disinterested tone, a bored facial expression, a look of annoyance, or an overly solicitous look of "I don't want to hurt your feelings but..." C) Rely on one of the many polite social phrases such as "I've really enjoyed talking with you, but I must go," or "Excuse me, I need to freshen up" even when they are untrue.
Express your preferences in a pleasant, clear, and informational (as opposed to judgmental) manner that does not put the other person down or make you responsible for his feelings.
True or False: Decoding is not always guess work
False
True or False: Self-disclosure is something that almost every professional suggest to use.
False
True or False: When reflecting a feeling it is important to use qualifiers such as extremely or really instead of using a greater intensity word.
False
True or False: You do not have the right to choose when and with whom you share your feelings
False
If your goal is to increase the other person's awareness of their aggressive behavior and its effect, which of the following would NOT be an appropriate response? A) How much I paid for the mower is beside the point. The point is that the mower shouldn't have stopped working in a week. B) Do you know that when you address customers like that, they get turned off? (Pause and wait for the person's response.) I'm very concerned about this and want to talk about it further. C) Have you noticed that when you command the kids to do something in that tone of voice, they are less likely to do it than when you ask them nicely? D) Do you realize that when you give your boyfriend the silent treatment, it causes him to feel unimportant?
How much I paid for the mower is beside the point. The point is that the mower shouldn't have stopped working in a week
Which of these is the most effective expression of emotion? A) I feel uncomfortable about having your mother stay with us. I'm worried she will constantly criticize me B) I feel that your mother will be very critical of me C) I feel nervous D) I feel that you always take your mother's side
I feel uncomfortable about having your mother stay with us. I'm worried she will constantly criticize me
Which of the following is an irrational idea? A) I would like to be approved of by every significant person, but I do not need such approval. B) If I am not approved of by someone I would like to have like me, I can try to figure out what it is that person does not like about the way I behave and decide whether or not I want to change. C) If I decide that rejection is not based on any inappropriate behavior on my part, I can find others I can enjoy being with. D) I must have sincere love and approval almost all the time from all the people I find significant. E) I can determine what I want to do rather than simply adapt or react to what I think someone wants.
I must have sincere love and approval almost all the time from all the people I find significant.
Which of the following is an example of an irrational idea? A) I'm still successful when I do things imperfectly B) What I do doesn't have to be perfect in order to be good. C) I must prove myself thoroughly competent, adequate, and achieving, or I must at least have real competence or talent as something important. D) I want to achieve and to be successful. If I am, I will likely be happier, and if I am not successful, I will probably be unhappy, but I do not have to be depressed and miserable E) It is impossible for anyone to be perfectly competent
I must prove myself thoroughly competent, adequate, and achieving, or I must at least have real competence or talent as something important.
The words thought, assumed, figured, reasoned, and concluded are all words associated with which component of perception? A) Sensory data B) Concept C) Interpretation D) Impression
Interpretation
Why does reflective listening enhance communication A) It allows for the listener to express what his opinions are about the speaker has said B) It does not enhance communication C) It helps the listener verify his understanding of what the speaker has said D) It lets the speaker know that the listener has agreed with everything that the speaker has just said
It helps the listener verify his understanding of what the speaker has said
Other approaches to decision making besides the Win-Win Waltz include all of these EXCEPT: A) Agreeing ahead of time who makes the decisions for each sphere of activity B) Making two lists -- a pro and a con list C) Allowing the other person to be able to modify decisions after the main decision maker makes a decision D) The decision-maker consulting their partner before making a decision
Making two lists -- a pro and a con list
Which of the following is an incorrect belief about conflict? A) There is not necessarily one party who is right and one who is wrong in every conflict. B) You do not have to win the conflict in order to be OK. C) One should be able to handle a conflict so well that the problem never reoccurs. D) Compromise does not inevitably lead to bad feelings. E) Your solution is not necessarily the only worthwhile one.
One should be able to handle a conflict so well that the problem never reoccurs.
What is meant by, "Dumping one's bucket of tension without filling the other's bucket"? A) Letting out all of your agression without letting the other person vent at all. B) Releasing your built up tension in a way that does not increase the other person's level of tension. C) Releasing your built up tension in a way that is not emotionally supportive to the other person. D) none of these
Releasing your built up tension in a way that does not increase the other person's level of tension.
Mike and Joe work at the same office. Whenever Mike's personal supply of pens or pencils runs low, he'll take a few home from the office to use. Joe would never take pens or pencils home from the office because he sees them as company property. Mike and Joe have different standards for stealing. This is an example of differences in: A) Dialect B) Colloquialism C) Semantics D) Biased-language
Semantics
What is the best way to begin a discussion of a problem? A) Wait until the other person is ready by letting them bring it up. B) Start off by asking a close ended question. C) Start off by asking an open-ended question. D) There is no optimal way, you should just start asking for specifics.
Start off by asking an open-ended question.
According to the emotional-matching rule, if Sally is raging, then Sam should do all of the following EXCEPT A) Stay calm (Keep own emotional state within the narrow zone within which you can keep thinking) B) Stay safe (If your mate is not being calmed by your presence, disengage) C) Stay engaged (Go with the flow of where the conversation leads) D) Stay problem focused (Seek to understand your spouse's concerns and look together for solution options).
Stay engaged (Go with the flow of where the conversation leads)
When you guess that the other person is coding his message, it indicates what? A) The person does not like talking to you B) That the person really has no idea what he is talking about and is trying to hide that fact C) That there are issues and/or feelings that are hard to express D) both a and c
That there are issues and/or feelings that are hard to express
Joe recently attended a historical ship-building demonstration. Even though he is pursuing a degree in sports medicine and does not know more about building ships than what he saw at the demonstration, Joe thinks, "I should try professional ship building. It would be fun to work with my hands like that." Joe's thinking would reflect: A) The son ego state B) The adult ego state C) The child ego state D) The parent ego state
The child ego state
True or False: A three-part assertion message on values is never appropriate.
True
True or False: Aggressive body language can be so powerful that it can turn assertive communications into agressive ones.
True
True or False: Helping invoves a commitment from the helper as well as the help seeker to be effective.
True
True or False: Learning silent responsiveness is essential to good listening
True
True or False: Redefinition of the problem in terms of values leads to conflict re-solution in which both parties can get their needs met
True
True or False: You can use the conflict resolution method even if the other person/people is/are not using it.
True
True or False: You do have the right to express irritation even if you haven't reached your boiling point yet.
True
When someone asks a direct question for advice what is the most optimal way to respond? A) Give the advice as best as you know how. B) Tell the person that you really don't have the answers, but you are happy to listen to his problem. C) Flip the question immediately back onto the person and ask him what he thinks he should do. D) Try to decode what the other person's question really means, such as feelings or thoughts behind the question.
Try to decode what the other person's question really means, such as feelings or thoughts behind the question.
Which of the following is an example of falling into the "image trap"? A) Choosing to work towards pocessing certain qualities, because it would be pleasurable to you. B) Trying to behave in a certain way in order to impress others, even if it's not the way you would normally act. C) Being who you are, and realizing you don't have to be anything else to be happy. D) Seeking improvement in yourself without demanding it or worrying yourself.
Trying to behave in a certain way in order to impress others, even if it's not the way you would normally act.
"word patrol" is not A) a self-patrol B) We should talk C) I could talk D) I would like tak
We should talk
Which is not a helpful question to guide your listening? A) What is my mate's concern? B) What is causing sensitivity? C) What did I do wrong? D) What might I do that could help?
What did I do wrong?
I language assertions are likely to be more effective: A) when you use vague terms B) When you are able to specify concrete or tangible effects that another person's behavior has upon you- such as money, time, or effort C) When you say that the other persons behavior makes you feel bad, or hurts you D) A and C E) None of the above
When you are able to specify concrete or tangible effects that another person's behavior has upon you- such as money, time, or effort
The damage from angry words can cause both physical and psychological damage to all of the following except A) You B) Your Partner C) Your marriage D) Your career
Your career
The Empathetic Assertion can be used when you want to convey some sensitivity to the other person in addition to your wants or feelings. The first part of the two-part statement consists of_____, and the second part consists of ______. A) Your recognition of the other person; a description of your situation, feelings, wants, or beliefs. B) a blanket statement such as "I understand how you feel"; telling the other person that they need to stop feeling that way. C) Giving the other person a lot of sympathy; agreeing with the other person. D) None of the above.
Your recognition of the other person; a description of your situation, feelings, wants, or beliefs.
In the delicate realm of intimate dialogue which should be present: A) insight B) acceptance C) compassion D) all of the above
all of the above
Initiate time-outs when you: A) begin to feel overloaded emotionally or sense that your partner is getting overheated B) hear yourself or your partner saying the same things over and over and reiteration isn't helping C) hear volume or irritation rising in either voices D) all of the above
all of the above
When is summarization helpful? A) at the begining of a new session after being apart for several days B) when a persons seems to have finished talking about a topic C) when introducing an action plan D) all of the above
all of the above
Which of the following are suggested things to discuss after the solution has been implemented and in practice? Choose all that apply. A) How each of us feels in general about the process we just went through. B) Something that bothered me. C) What each of us can do better next time.
all of the above
Sheila is in her first job interview. The best way Sheila can appear professional in the interview is to have A) an open and attentive body position B) positive eye contact C) head and body movements D) facial expressions
an open and attentive body position
Harold and Bob are in the break room discussing their heavy workloads. Instead of one-upping each other, they could do this to promote a more satisfying work environment: A) be positive and realize the contributions of others B) be helpful and supportive C) be friendly and considerate D) appreciate diversity
be positive and realize the contributions of others
When should you deal with strong feelings in the problem solving process? A) before beginning B) as a part of brainstorming C) after you have worked through the process D) none of the above
before beginning
What is an example of not helping? A) by support B) by encouragement C) by your presence D) by sarcasm
by sarcasm
Letting someone win all of the time is an example of what? A) denial B) avoidance C) capitulation D) domination
capitulation
___ and ___ are win/lose approaches A) avoidance; domination B) denial; capitulation C) capitulation; domination D) domination; denial
capitulation; domination
In ___________ problem solving, people join together to find a solution acceptable to both. It entails redefining the problem, discovering movel alternatives, and focusing on overlaping interests. A) capitulation B) compromising C) collaborative D) all of the above
collaborative
Which of the following is not one of the three steps of using the coping method? A) criticize your thoughts that you are having B) Have a cue that will remind you to turn on your particular self-instructional statement C) develop internal statements that can help you cope with upsetting feelings D) Praise yourself when you have successfully dealt with your anxiety not only during the process but right after.
criticize your thoughts that you are having
Shortly after Sara arrives home, worn from a long day of work, Sam and Sara began to complain about each other's behavior with raising voices. In this situation it may be helpful for them to A) be assertive B) use climate controls C) continue in their conversation D) none of the above
use climate control
Fix-it talk: A) can solve major problems B) can't be overused C) if used frequently is a sign of adjusting to new circumstances or something problematic D) A, B, and C
if used frequently is a sign of adjusting to new circumstances or something problematic
A listener asking the speaker, "could you give me an example?" is a way for the listener to do what? A) challenge what the speaker is saying B) increase concreteness and relevance C) find out useless information D) make the speaker feel strongly about what he just said
increase concreteness and relevance
What is distinctive about descriptive recognition? A) it makes an overall comment about what you like about the person B) it describes a specific behavior that the person has done well and/or that you have appreciate C) it uses words such as "marvelous," "superb," etc. D) it is not sincere
it describes a specific behavior that the person has done well and/or that you have appreciate
Barbara is a college freshman. Which of the following would be wise for her to do during college in order to make her professional job search less time-consuming and stressful when she graduates? A) make contacts B) keep records C) train to become a leader D) plan for advancement
keep records
Relationships that are slightly diminishing your selfhood and/or enjoyment of life are what? A) very nourishing relationships B) mildly nourishing relationships C) noncontributing relationships D) mildly toxic relationships E) very toxic relationships
mildly toxic relationships
When it is important for one person to have transportation to do necessary shopping, and it is important for the other person to have transportation for an important date, these two people would have a conflict of what? A) needs B) emotions C) values D) none of the above
needs
What are natural assertions? A) assertions over everyday issues B) nonaggressive ways of getting one'e needs met without following any particular method C) assertions you should use when you or the other person is under a lot of stress D) all of the above
nonaggressive ways of getting one'e needs met without following any particular method
If someone does not use feeling words at all, you should look to the ___ for clues. A) Past feelings B) Your feelings at the time C) Overall content of what the person is saying D) You should never try to figure out feelings if the person does not directly tell you
overall content of what the person is saying
I was thinking today about Christina and her divorce and I suddenly had this fear that you might leave me," Sara says to her husband John. "That would crush me. Our marriage is so important to me." At which level of content is Sara speaking? A) feelings B) ideas and judgements C) facts about others D) peak communication
peak communication
Being self controlled and choosing to love and trust God is an example of what need? A) meaning B) friendship C) intimacy D) responsibility
responsibility
Which of the following words is a weak intensity word for joy A) mighty B) friend C) satisfied D) happy
satisfied
The most important part of expressing compliments and tender feelings is: A) that they praise the whole person B) that they generalize the person's whole character or behavior C) that they are given in circumstances even when they are not sincere D) that they are said sincerely and reflect your personality
that they are said sincerely and reflect your personality
The problem with identifying separate helping stages is that ____. A) in the majority of helping situations, not all five stages are necessary B) the stages overlap in definition with each other C) the stages are not procedural, they will never end in helping. D) helping is situational and cannot be divided into stages
the stages are not procedural, they will never end in helping.
In addressing confusion within a helping conversation, it is important to ______. A) hint around being confused, and hope the help seeker catches on and says something first B) express your confusion through facial expressions, and not verbally address them C) not talk about confusion because it will complicate the conversation and add stress to the help seeker D) voice your confusion to the help seeker in hopes of finding common ground
voice your confusion to the help seeker in hopes of finding common ground
