Social Psych ch 9
agony of loneliness
-feeling of deprivation abt social relations -most likely to occur during times of transition or disruption (ex going to college, divorce) -loneliest grp in american society are those 18-30 yrs old --also lonely when older- stuck @home, can't drive, can't do things used to, etc -we employ various strategies to combat loneliness --ex. get a pet, be active
true/false: men are more likely than women to interpret friendly gestures by the opposite sex in sexual terms
true: men are more likely to interpret friendly interactions w members of opposite sex as sexual come ons
Two stage model of attraction process
*people you meet* -*negative screen of dissimilarity*: dissimilar->avoidance *or* not dissimilar --*positive screen of similarity*: low similarity->indiff *or* high similarity->attraction ---if attraction->continue contact
Shyness (sources and painful consequences)
*sources of shyness* -Inborn personality trait -Learned reaction to failed interactions with others *painful consequences of shyness* -Negative self-evaluations -Expectations of failure in social encounters -Self-blame for social failures -Self-imposed isolation
why are we blinded by beauty?
-Inherently rewarding to be in the company of people who are aesthetically appealing --Possible intrinsic and extrinsic rewards -Tendency to associate physical attractiveness with other desirable qualities --What-is-beautiful-is-good stereotype
Stimulus-value-role theory (murstein)--diff stages
-*Stimulus Stage*: Attraction is sparked by external attributes such as physical appearance -*Value Stage*: Attachment is based on similarity of values and beliefs -*Role Stage*: Commitment is based on the performance of such roles as husband and wife
costs of beauty
-Being good-looking does not guarantee health, happiness, or high self-esteem -Attributional problems with being good-looking: --Is attention and praise one receives due to talent or just good looks? -Pressure to maintain one's appearance--esp in American/Western society and body image --Women are more likely than men to suffer from the "modern mania for slenderness" -being beautiful is mixed blessing --Little relationship between appearance in youth and later happiness
supporting evidence for evolutionary perspective (of finding a mate)
-Desired age: --Men tend to seek younger women --Women tend to desire older men (more supportive and more mature) -Men and women become jealous for different reasons: --Men become most upset by sexual infidelity (women can get preg by other men) --Women feel more threatened by emotional infidelity
is the physical attractiveness stereotype accurate?
-Good-looking ppl do have more friends, better social skills, and a more active sex life --But beauty is not related to objective measures of intelligence, personality, adjustment, or self-esteem -specific nature of the stereotype *depends on* cultural conceptions of what is "good"
mate selection: evolutionary perspective
-Men and women by nature must differ in their optimal mating behaviors --*Women must be highly selective* because they are biologically limited in # of children they can bear and raise in a lifetime --Men can father unlimited # of children and ensure their reproductive success by inseminating many women
how do intimate relationships change?
-Most researchers reject idea that intimate relationships progress through fixed sequence of stages -For reward theories of love, quantity counts -qualitative differences between liking and loving, and diff forms of love
social exchange theory
-People are motivated to maximize benefits and minimize costs in relationships with others -Relationships that provide more rewards and fewer costs will be more satisfying and endure longer -Development of an intimate relationship is associated with the overall level of rewards --benefits: sex, friendship, not alone, practical stuff- taxes, --costs: if partner is constantly negative--> emotionally draining; always fighting, petty, unfaithful
liking others who like us
-People prefer relationships that are psychologically balanced (heider) -state of balance exists when the relationship is characterized by *reciprocity* --Mutual exchange between what one gives and what one receives --want to have equal investment into relationship as partner -Liking is mutual, which is why we tend to like others who indicate that they like us
is beauty a subjective quality?
-Ppl from different cultures enhance their beauty in diff ways -Ideal body shapes vary across cultures, as well as among racial groups within a culture -Standards of beauty change over time -Situational factors can influence judgments of beauty
is beauty an objective quality?
-Some argue that certain faces are inherently more attractive than others --High levels of agreement for facial ratings across ages and cultures --Physical features of the face are reliably associated with judgments of attractiveness --Babies prefer faces considered attractive by adults
perspectives on attraction/ evolutionary perspective
-We are attracted to others w/ whom a relationship is directly or indirectly rewarding -All humans exhibit patterns of attraction and mate selection that favor the conception, birth, and survival of their offspring --*Evolutionary perspective*
pursuing those who are hard to get
-We prefer people who are moderately selective to those who are nonselective or too selective -turned off by those who reject us (ex reciprocity/like others who like us) -psych reactance can incr or decr attraction
mate selection: sociocultural perspective
-Women trade youth and beauty for money because they often lack direct access to economic power -Men are fearful of sexual infidelity because represents a threat to the relationship, not fatherhood issues -diffs typically found bw sexes are small compared to similarities
need to belong
-basic human motive -we care deeply abt what others think of us -those w network of close social ties tend to be happier, healthier, and more satisfied w life than those who are more isolated (harmful to health etc)
equity theory
-most content w a relationship when ration bw benefits and contributions is similar for both partners -ex. (your benefits/your contributions) = (partner's benefits/partner's contributions) -*balance is what counts*
familiarity: proximity effect
-one basic/necessary factor in attraction process -*single best predictor of attraction is physical proximity, or nearness* -where we live influences the friends we make -ex. date a neighbor, friends w ppl you sit next to -ex. college students tend to date those who live either nearby or in the same type of housing as they do
familiarity: mere exposure effect
-one basic/necessary factor in attraction process -familiarity *doesn't* breed contempt -more often we are exposed to a stimulus, the more we come to like that stimulus --(see each other more often)-->more attracted to them -familiarity can infl our self-evaluations
physical attractiveness
-react more favorably to others who are physically attractive than to those who are not -Bias for beauty is pervasive -*incl infants*- infants discriminate bw faces considered attractive and unattractive in their culture
first encounters: types of similarity
-tend to associate w others who are similar to ourselves -four types of similarity are most relevant --demographic --attitude --attractiveness --subjective experience
close/intimate relationships: three basic components
1) Feelings of attachment, affection, and love 2) Fulfillment of psychological needs 3) Interdependence between partners, each of whom has a meaningful influence on the other
familiarity
2 basic/necessary factors in attraction process: -*proximity effect* -*mere exposure*
True/False: when it comes to romantic relationships, opposites attract
False- maybe at first, but ultimately won't last
true/false: People who are physically attractive are happier and have higher self-esteem than those who are unattractive
False-- doesn't say anything abt one's self esteem
True/False: People seek out the company of others, even strangers, in times of stress
True
true/false: after the honeymoon period, there is an overall decline in levels of marital satisfaction
true
Comparison level
avg expected outcome in relationships -investments in relationship incr commitment
true/false: people and groups tend to do worse when they have "do your best" goals than when they have specific goals
true
need for affiliation
desire to establish social contact w others --we are motivated to establish and maintain an optimum balance of social contact -stress incr our need for affiliation --"fearful misery loves company" --"embarrassed misery seeks solitude" --"misery loves company of those in same situation"
Comparison level for alternatives (CLalt)
expectations of what would receive in an alt situation -investments in relationship incr commitment
true/false: infants do not discriminate between faces considered attractive and unattractive in their culture
false
true/false: when faced with the dilemma of whether to act in one's self interest or cooperate w greater good, women are more likely than men to cooperate
false
sternberg's triangular theory of love
intimacy, passion, commitment
true/false: large grps are more likely than small grps to exploit a scarce resource that the members collectively depend on
true -more anonymity/deindividuation
matching hypothesis
ppl tend to become involved romantically w others who are equivalent in their physical attractiveness -matching is predictive of progress in relationship -*possible include positive qualities*
why don't opposites attract
research shows complementarity doesn't influence attractive