The Importance of Being Earnest

A man who marries without knowing Bunbury has a very tedious time of it.

Algernon

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

Algernon

I have Bunburyed all over Shropshire on two separate occasions.

Algernon

I really don't see anything romantic in proposing. It is very romantic to be in love. But there is nothing romantic about a definite proposal. Why, one may be accepted. One usually is, I believe. Then the excitement is all over. The very essence of romance is uncertainty. If ever I get married, I'll certainly try to forget the fact.

Algernon

Oh! it is absurd to have a hard and fast rule about what one should read and what one shouldn't. More than half of modern culture depends on what one shouldn't read.

Algernon

Really, if the lower orders don't set us a good example, what on earth is the use of them? They seem, as a class, to have absolutely no sense of moral responsibility.

Algernon

Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die.

Algernon

I hate waiting even five minutes for anybody. It always makes me rather cross. I am not punctual myself, I know, but I do like punctuality in others, and waiting, even to be married, is quite out of the question.

Cecily

I keep a diary in order to enter the wonderful secrets of my life. If I didn't write them down, I should probably forget all about them.

Cecily

How absurd to talk of the equality of the sexes! Where questions of self-sacrifice are concerned, men are infinitely beyond us.

Gwendolyn

In matters of grave importance, style, not sincerity is the vital thing.

Gwendolyn

Jack?... No, there is very little music in the name Jack, if any at all, indeed. It does not thrill. It produces absolutely no vibrations...

Gwendolyn

It is very vulgar to talk like a dentist when one isn't a dentist. It produces a false impression,

Jack

When one is in town one amuses oneself. When one is in the country one amuses other people.

Jack

I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance.

Lady Bracknell

Nor do I in any way approve of the modern sympathy with invalids. I consider it morbid. Illness of any kind is hardly a thing to be encouraged in others. Health is the primary duty of life.

Lady Bracknell

To speak frankly, I am not in favour of long engagements. They give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which I think is never advisable.

Lady Bracknell

I have often observed that in married households the champagne is rarely of a first-rate brand.

Lane