Dad Jokes

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WHERE DOES A CATCHER SIT DOWN FOR DINNER?

BEHIND THE PLATE!

WHAT DID THE MONEY NAME HIS KID?

BUCK

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SLEEPING COW?

A BULLDOZER

WHAT DO YOU CALL TWO ELEPHANTS TALKING?

A HEAVY DISCUSSION!

WHAT BIRD HAS THE WORST MANNERS?

A MOCKING BIRD

WHAT RUNS, BUT NEVER WALKS?

A RIVER!

WHAT IS A KNIGHT'S FAVORITE FISH?

A SWORD FISH!

WHAT'S A COW S FAVORITE ACTIVITY?

GOING TO THE MOOVIES!

WHY COULDN'T THE SKELETON EAT SPICY FOOD?

HE DIDN'T HAVE THE STOMACH FOR IT

WHY COULDN'T THE BAKER BUY A NEW CAR?

HE DIDN'T MAKE ENOUGH DOUGH

WHY DIDN'T THE ROOSTER CROSS THE ROAD?

HE WAS CHICKEN

WHY DID JANEEN EAT HER TEST?

HER TEACHER SAID IT WAS A PIECE OF CAKE!

WHAT DID THE OREGANO'S NAME THEIR KID

HERB

WHAT IS A RABBIT'S FAVORITE TYPE OF MUSIC?

HIP HOP!

WHAT IS A SNAKE S FAVORITE SUBJECT?

HISSS-TORY!

WHY DID SALLY PUT HER BICYCLE TO BED EARLY?

IT WAS TWO-TIRED!

WHAT KIND OF CALL DOES A MARATHON RUNNER ALWAYS MAKE?

LONG DISTANCE!

WHAT DID THE BEACH SAY WHEN THE TIDE CAME IN?

LONG TIME NO SEA

WHAT DO COMPUTERS EAT FOR SNACKS?

MICRO-CHIPS!

WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT IS NOT YOURS?

NACHO CHEESE!

WHAT KIND OF BIRDS WRITE LETTERS?

PEN-GUINS!

WHAT IS A DUCK S FAVORITE SNACK?

QUACKERS!

WHAT FALLS DOWN BUT NEVER GETS HURT?

RAIN

WHAT KIND OF PHONES DO TURTLES USE?

SHELL-ULAR PHONES!

WHAT WAS THE KITES FAVORITE INSTRUMENT?

THE STRINGS

WHY ARE CALENDARS SO POPULAR?

THEY HAVE A LOT OF DATES!

WHY ARE DOCTORS ALWAYS CALM?

THEY HAVE A LOT OF PATIENTS!

HOW DO TREES GO ON THE INTERNET?

THEY LOG IN!

WHY DID THE MOTHER CLAM SCOLD HER CHILDREN?

THEY WERE BEING SHELLFISH

WHAT DO YOU CALL A FROG THAT S ILLEGALLY PARKED?

TOAD!


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