FACS 470 - Test 1 Study Guide

Balswick + Balswick

"...Union of the Father, Son and HS......This fellowship of 3 co-equal beings perfectly embraced in love and harmony is the ultimate intimate union."

Genesis 1:26-27

"Then God said, "Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground."So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them."

Biblical View of Empowerment

- Attempt to establish power IN another person - process of helping another person recognize her potential, then reach that potential through encouragement and guidance. -coming alongside another to affirm her gifts and build her confidence to become all she can be. -NEVER involves control, coercion or force.

Behavior change with in the family

- Simple feedback: cause and effect (behavior modification) - cybernetic control: thermostat mechanism to maintain the rules, status quo. - homostasis : tolerance limit reached brings counteraction by family as a system - morphogenesis: new response patterns created, when tested methods no longer work or new situation - reorientation: entire system converts to new ways of thinking and behaving

Role of Romantic love

- a drive, neural activity Stages (Fisher) - lust (sexual drive) - attraction - emotional attachment

Background and Contextual factors

- age at time of marriage - level of education and income - occupational stability

Systems and Subsystems

- all are interrelated - each influences the others simultaneously - the boundary of each involves belonging and membership (can be relatively permeable or closed). - a family with children has at least 2 subsystems: (parent subsystem; children subsystem: can be more than one, brother and sister)

2. Grace: forgive and be forgiven

- atmosphere of GRACE not LAW - Law leads to legalism, grace offers freedom. - family based on law, members demand perfection

Communication

- balanced marriage - express themselves in an open manner - care about what is best for partner - both spouses work together to seek solutions through mutual and reciprocal decision making.

Commitment

- contract rather than covenant - commitment to marriage as institution - 'me- orientated' *commitment to marriage as institution is rejected when it interferes with the individuals self-fulfillment -post modern marriage commitment is contingent on self fulfillment. commitment to all 3 = balance

Factors to take into account

- degree of commitment - value/making marriage & family priority - good communication/ conflict resolution skills - recognizing marital expectations - developing a differentiated unity - making joint decisions about children, roles, careers. - being involved in extended family/ faith community that supports - Impact on children

Family Development Theory

- development of family over time, through natural life-cycle stages. - key developmental tasks are accomplished at each stage.

Family Systems Theory

- individuals considered in context of relationships - interactions of family members operating as a unit of interrelated parts. -a holistic approach that understands every part of family in terms of the family as a whole - an understanding of any system begins by identifying the various levels in the system.

Natures role in Human behavior

- influence of biological factors is: complex and interactive with sociocultural factors and small influence, difficult to detect. - genetic factors: complex influence, necessary but not sufficient. -neurological facers: stress, hormonal levels.

What does distinction and unity look like?

- involves the fundamental issues of forming unity - while embracing each persons distinctiveness.

Mate Selection Theories

- like marries like - opposites attract - filter - stimulus-value-role - Dyadic-formation - wheel & clock spring

Authority

- mutual submission (husband - love, serve, submit to wife) - to empower not to have power over - concept of partnership is also helpful for understanding mutual submission.

Secular View of Empowerment

- power is a commodity in limited supply, therefore, grab as much power as possible in relationships.

Individual Traits

- similar in race, socioeconomic status, religion, intelligence; age. - physical and emotional health (lack of neurotic traits) - conventionality - level of self-esteem

Adaptability

- strong family life: balanced level of adaptability (both flexibility and stability) - both flexibility and structure > sense of orderliness

Families progression through stages in life

- transition marks movement to next stage in life - family and individuals accomplish/master key age-appropriate tasks.

Family System defined as:

- western societies: husband, wife and kids - many other societies: extended family.

Interpersonal dynamics

-good communication and conflict resolution skills - not having cohabitated and low participation in premarital sexual intercourse

3 types of love of ancient greece

1. Agape - commitment - self giving 2. Philia - friendship - connection 2. Eros - passion - deep desire

Communication

1. Clarity of perception pertains to receiver of communication: -good listening skills -ability to pick up intonations, body language -willingness to ask for clarification 2. Clarity of expression optimal: able to communicate feelings, opinions, wishes/desires in open forthright and ambiguous manner. -congruency between works and body language leads to clarity.

Love Relationship (4 types)

1. Complete love 2. Self-giving love 3. Friendship love 4. Infatuation love

4 Principles (Popeno + Whitehead) Secular Author

1. Consider not living together at all before marriage - no evidence cohabitation leads to stronger marriage 2. Don't make a habit of cohabiting 3. Limit cohabitation to shortest time period 4. Don't cohabit when children are involved

Two theoretical perspectives

1. Family Systems theory 2. Family Development theory

Undifferentiated Individuals:

1. Overly close and dependent: EMESHED 2. Disengaged emotionally,

Differentiated Unity (4 types)

1. competition 2. conflict 3. assimilation (process of 2 becoming 1) 4. accommodation (agreement by separate entities to be different)

4 elements in theology of family relationships (sequential and non linear stages).

1. covenant - to love and be loved 2. grace - to forgive and be forgiven 3. empowerment - to serve and be served 4. intimacy - to know and be known

Roles in establishing marriage

1. role taking 2. role playing 3. playing at a role 4. role conflict 5. role making

Covenant: def. (establishment of a covenant between God and nation of Israel.)

1. the conditional promises made to humanity by God, as revealed in scripture. 2. the agreement between God and the ancient Israelites, in which God promised to protect them, if they kept his law and were faithful to him.

Hurting families (3)

1. withhold grace, often demand unreasonable perfection, blame members that don't measure up. -what is needed: acceptance for who they are, forgiveness when they fail 2. tend to control rather than empower -what is needed: affirmation, validation by the family, to build confidence to reach potential 3. individual members fear rejection, keeps them out of touch/in denial of their emotions - what is needed: a safe atmosphere, to express feelings, thoughts, wants, desires, and to be heard/understood by others, developing a capacity to be known and know oneself at deeper levels.

Rational Romantic love

3 dimensions (Steinberg) 1. Commitment ; cognitive 2. Intimacy ; friendship 3. Passion ; motivational

Dual Earner Marriage

4 proactively establishing and maintaining a rightful balance between work and family. 1. mutual contribute unconditional love, grace, empowering and intimacy. 2. extra dose of cohesion and adaptability 3. agree on priorities - essential and non essential 4. resources with in marriage, family, community to help meet demands of dual roles.

Marriage in post modern society

4 theological aspects 1. covenant (commitment) 2. grace (adaptability) 3. empowerment (authority) 4. intimacy (communication)

What differentiated unity is most like that of a christian marriage?

ACCOMMODATION - both equally expressed in their union; two distinct individuals and also couple unit.

1. Covenant: to love and be loved

CENTRAL POINT: Unconditional commitment (not a contract) -Unilateral: one way -Bilateral: two way

Chapter 5

Christian Marriage

Integration of Systems and Developmental Theories

Cohesion, Adaptability, Communication, Role Structure.

Christian perspective

Commitment, grace, empowerment, intimacy

What is a foundational focus in developing a theology of the family?

Covenant.

Too low cohesion

DISENGAGEMENT: lack involvement, cooperation, help super for hurting members- rare meaningful 'touches'

Principle of empowerment

DOES THE SUPPORT LEAD TO: responsible actions and mutual respect OR to indebtedness, dependency, obligation?

What is the nature of relationality?

Distinction and Unity

Too high cohesion

EMESHMENT: members lack separate identity/individuality, dependent on the family as a whole, or other members, for identify.

Role Structure:

Each member has a role to play, which the family as whole usually defines. 2 parents + 2 children - Adults: parent and spouse - Children: child and sibling Role conflict - role expectations conflict - need for expressing and negotiation role expectations - need flexibility and permissible boundaries

Complete love

Embraces equal portions of all 3. passion-commitment-emotional/friendship intimacy.

Financial + emotional support

Empowering = unconditional + freely given couple must establish autonomy: ability to manage financial, functioning independence

Chapter 4

Establishing Marriage

Ch. 1

Family Dynamics

Imago Dei

Image of God

Chapter 3

Mate Selection + Cohabitation

Parents as Role models

NOTE: Wife's positive experience in family of origin stronger predictor of marital adjustment

Biological Influences

Nature v. Nurture - bilogical factors and social patterns are being impacted by each other

Cohabitation outcomes

Overall quality of relationship Marital adjustment - less marital disagreements - marital instability - higher incidence of divorce

Mate Selection

Post modern era: personal attraction & romantic love

Impact of family of origin

Predictors of marital quality: - parents have higher quality relationships - no divorce in parents (both sides) - families are supportive/ non pressuring of the couple - adaptability practiced

Chapter 2

The Family as a Developing Biosocial System

Who has a higher chance for stability and happiness

Those who make a marital covenant with partner rather than those who slide into marriage through default.

3. Empowerment: to serve and be served

Typical use of power in family: - person attempts to influence or control the behavior of another. - use power to assure maintenance of own powerful position. Empowerment is born of God's covenant love and incredible grace found in Jesus. The spirit of God empowers US to empower OTHERS

Christian perspective on cohabitation

Unconditional covenant commitment is the Scriptural ideal for marriage Foundation is permanence - sexual + emotional intimacy Independence instead of mutual interdependence limits deepening possibilities of acceptance, empowerment, intimacy.

Cohabitation

Up by 17x in 1960-2010 Accepted in society; it has become alternative to marriage Delay on marriage, increased freedom Commitment is ambiguous "Sliding rather than deciding"

4. Intimacy: to know and be known

When family members experience covenant love, grace and empowerment. -ability to communicate confidently -express themselves freely, without fear -contingent on trust and commitment -unconditional covenant love establishes security, leading to deeper levels of intimacy.

Grace-full: the challenge

Where grace rules out law: - members must accept; structure, forms, patterns, order, responsibility in relationships. - agreed upon rules, regularity, and order.

System

any identifiable whole composed of interrelated individual parts.

Differentiation: differentiated individuals

both connected to their families and sufficiently separated socially and psychologically

Self-giving love

commitment dominant

bilateral conditional relationships

contract

Cohesion

d. degree of emotional closeness existing in a family. - resilient families: appropriate degree of cohesion. Members are differentiated (healthy degree of separateness) Strong sense of belonging (healthy degree of connection and interdependence.

Adaptability

determine roles through mutual agreement - opens up creative possibilities to serve each other. since change can be expected throughout life - spouses are to be flexible and adaptable. - family men are empowered to serve others in collaborative effects.

Friendship love

emotional intimacy dominant

Analogical Familial Theology

family relationships reflect the relationally within the trinity.

Unilateral unconditional relationships

initial covenant

biblical view

intimacy relating on all levels: physical, mental and spiritual

bilateral unconditional relationships (characterized by reciprocity)

mature covenant

unilateral conditional relationships

modern open arrangement

Infatuation love

passion dominant

Traditional view:

sex is pleasure for man and duty of woman to endure

postmodern view:

sex is self-centered emphasis on individuals personal pleasure

In what way do humans primarily reflect God's image

through RELATIONSHIPS.

Roles in marital dance

two people moving rhythmically together as they repeatedly embrace, release, hold on and then let go of each other.

empathy:

understand what it feels like to be in anothers shoes

Imperfect reflection is human fallen-ness

we must look to God for grace and strength to attain unity and personal distinction in relationships.

When is a person ready for marriage?

when he or she is clearly differentiated from parents.

Impact on Children

worse life outcomes - higher risk of: - sexual abuse - physical violence

The heart of a christian marriage

you have to willing to give up - marriage is a gift for the community as well as for the couple. accommodators benefit from individual strengths of each spouse.