FACS 470 - Test 1 Study Guide
Balswick + Balswick
"...Union of the Father, Son and HS......This fellowship of 3 co-equal beings perfectly embraced in love and harmony is the ultimate intimate union."
Genesis 1:26-27
"Then God said, "Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground."So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them."
Biblical View of Empowerment
- Attempt to establish power IN another person - process of helping another person recognize her potential, then reach that potential through encouragement and guidance. -coming alongside another to affirm her gifts and build her confidence to become all she can be. -NEVER involves control, coercion or force.
Behavior change with in the family
- Simple feedback: cause and effect (behavior modification) - cybernetic control: thermostat mechanism to maintain the rules, status quo. - homostasis : tolerance limit reached brings counteraction by family as a system - morphogenesis: new response patterns created, when tested methods no longer work or new situation - reorientation: entire system converts to new ways of thinking and behaving
Role of Romantic love
- a drive, neural activity Stages (Fisher) - lust (sexual drive) - attraction - emotional attachment
Background and Contextual factors
- age at time of marriage - level of education and income - occupational stability
Systems and Subsystems
- all are interrelated - each influences the others simultaneously - the boundary of each involves belonging and membership (can be relatively permeable or closed). - a family with children has at least 2 subsystems: (parent subsystem; children subsystem: can be more than one, brother and sister)
2. Grace: forgive and be forgiven
- atmosphere of GRACE not LAW - Law leads to legalism, grace offers freedom. - family based on law, members demand perfection
Communication
- balanced marriage - express themselves in an open manner - care about what is best for partner - both spouses work together to seek solutions through mutual and reciprocal decision making.
Commitment
- contract rather than covenant - commitment to marriage as institution - 'me- orientated' *commitment to marriage as institution is rejected when it interferes with the individuals self-fulfillment -post modern marriage commitment is contingent on self fulfillment. commitment to all 3 = balance
Factors to take into account
- degree of commitment - value/making marriage & family priority - good communication/ conflict resolution skills - recognizing marital expectations - developing a differentiated unity - making joint decisions about children, roles, careers. - being involved in extended family/ faith community that supports - Impact on children
Family Development Theory
- development of family over time, through natural life-cycle stages. - key developmental tasks are accomplished at each stage.
Family Systems Theory
- individuals considered in context of relationships - interactions of family members operating as a unit of interrelated parts. -a holistic approach that understands every part of family in terms of the family as a whole - an understanding of any system begins by identifying the various levels in the system.
Natures role in Human behavior
- influence of biological factors is: complex and interactive with sociocultural factors and small influence, difficult to detect. - genetic factors: complex influence, necessary but not sufficient. -neurological facers: stress, hormonal levels.
What does distinction and unity look like?
- involves the fundamental issues of forming unity - while embracing each persons distinctiveness.
Mate Selection Theories
- like marries like - opposites attract - filter - stimulus-value-role - Dyadic-formation - wheel & clock spring
Authority
- mutual submission (husband - love, serve, submit to wife) - to empower not to have power over - concept of partnership is also helpful for understanding mutual submission.
Secular View of Empowerment
- power is a commodity in limited supply, therefore, grab as much power as possible in relationships.
Individual Traits
- similar in race, socioeconomic status, religion, intelligence; age. - physical and emotional health (lack of neurotic traits) - conventionality - level of self-esteem
Adaptability
- strong family life: balanced level of adaptability (both flexibility and stability) - both flexibility and structure > sense of orderliness
Families progression through stages in life
- transition marks movement to next stage in life - family and individuals accomplish/master key age-appropriate tasks.
Family System defined as:
- western societies: husband, wife and kids - many other societies: extended family.
Interpersonal dynamics
-good communication and conflict resolution skills - not having cohabitated and low participation in premarital sexual intercourse
3 types of love of ancient greece
1. Agape - commitment - self giving 2. Philia - friendship - connection 2. Eros - passion - deep desire
Communication
1. Clarity of perception pertains to receiver of communication: -good listening skills -ability to pick up intonations, body language -willingness to ask for clarification 2. Clarity of expression optimal: able to communicate feelings, opinions, wishes/desires in open forthright and ambiguous manner. -congruency between works and body language leads to clarity.
Love Relationship (4 types)
1. Complete love 2. Self-giving love 3. Friendship love 4. Infatuation love
4 Principles (Popeno + Whitehead) Secular Author
1. Consider not living together at all before marriage - no evidence cohabitation leads to stronger marriage 2. Don't make a habit of cohabiting 3. Limit cohabitation to shortest time period 4. Don't cohabit when children are involved
Two theoretical perspectives
1. Family Systems theory 2. Family Development theory
Undifferentiated Individuals:
1. Overly close and dependent: EMESHED 2. Disengaged emotionally,
Differentiated Unity (4 types)
1. competition 2. conflict 3. assimilation (process of 2 becoming 1) 4. accommodation (agreement by separate entities to be different)
4 elements in theology of family relationships (sequential and non linear stages).
1. covenant - to love and be loved 2. grace - to forgive and be forgiven 3. empowerment - to serve and be served 4. intimacy - to know and be known
Roles in establishing marriage
1. role taking 2. role playing 3. playing at a role 4. role conflict 5. role making
Covenant: def. (establishment of a covenant between God and nation of Israel.)
1. the conditional promises made to humanity by God, as revealed in scripture. 2. the agreement between God and the ancient Israelites, in which God promised to protect them, if they kept his law and were faithful to him.
Hurting families (3)
1. withhold grace, often demand unreasonable perfection, blame members that don't measure up. -what is needed: acceptance for who they are, forgiveness when they fail 2. tend to control rather than empower -what is needed: affirmation, validation by the family, to build confidence to reach potential 3. individual members fear rejection, keeps them out of touch/in denial of their emotions - what is needed: a safe atmosphere, to express feelings, thoughts, wants, desires, and to be heard/understood by others, developing a capacity to be known and know oneself at deeper levels.
Rational Romantic love
3 dimensions (Steinberg) 1. Commitment ; cognitive 2. Intimacy ; friendship 3. Passion ; motivational
Dual Earner Marriage
4 proactively establishing and maintaining a rightful balance between work and family. 1. mutual contribute unconditional love, grace, empowering and intimacy. 2. extra dose of cohesion and adaptability 3. agree on priorities - essential and non essential 4. resources with in marriage, family, community to help meet demands of dual roles.
Marriage in post modern society
4 theological aspects 1. covenant (commitment) 2. grace (adaptability) 3. empowerment (authority) 4. intimacy (communication)
What differentiated unity is most like that of a christian marriage?
ACCOMMODATION - both equally expressed in their union; two distinct individuals and also couple unit.
1. Covenant: to love and be loved
CENTRAL POINT: Unconditional commitment (not a contract) -Unilateral: one way -Bilateral: two way
Chapter 5
Christian Marriage
Integration of Systems and Developmental Theories
Cohesion, Adaptability, Communication, Role Structure.
Christian perspective
Commitment, grace, empowerment, intimacy
What is a foundational focus in developing a theology of the family?
Covenant.
Too low cohesion
DISENGAGEMENT: lack involvement, cooperation, help super for hurting members- rare meaningful 'touches'
Principle of empowerment
DOES THE SUPPORT LEAD TO: responsible actions and mutual respect OR to indebtedness, dependency, obligation?
What is the nature of relationality?
Distinction and Unity
Too high cohesion
EMESHMENT: members lack separate identity/individuality, dependent on the family as a whole, or other members, for identify.
Role Structure:
Each member has a role to play, which the family as whole usually defines. 2 parents + 2 children - Adults: parent and spouse - Children: child and sibling Role conflict - role expectations conflict - need for expressing and negotiation role expectations - need flexibility and permissible boundaries
Complete love
Embraces equal portions of all 3. passion-commitment-emotional/friendship intimacy.
Financial + emotional support
Empowering = unconditional + freely given couple must establish autonomy: ability to manage financial, functioning independence
Chapter 4
Establishing Marriage
Ch. 1
Family Dynamics
Imago Dei
Image of God
Chapter 3
Mate Selection + Cohabitation
Parents as Role models
NOTE: Wife's positive experience in family of origin stronger predictor of marital adjustment
Biological Influences
Nature v. Nurture - bilogical factors and social patterns are being impacted by each other
Cohabitation outcomes
Overall quality of relationship Marital adjustment - less marital disagreements - marital instability - higher incidence of divorce
Mate Selection
Post modern era: personal attraction & romantic love
Impact of family of origin
Predictors of marital quality: - parents have higher quality relationships - no divorce in parents (both sides) - families are supportive/ non pressuring of the couple - adaptability practiced
Chapter 2
The Family as a Developing Biosocial System
Who has a higher chance for stability and happiness
Those who make a marital covenant with partner rather than those who slide into marriage through default.
3. Empowerment: to serve and be served
Typical use of power in family: - person attempts to influence or control the behavior of another. - use power to assure maintenance of own powerful position. Empowerment is born of God's covenant love and incredible grace found in Jesus. The spirit of God empowers US to empower OTHERS
Christian perspective on cohabitation
Unconditional covenant commitment is the Scriptural ideal for marriage Foundation is permanence - sexual + emotional intimacy Independence instead of mutual interdependence limits deepening possibilities of acceptance, empowerment, intimacy.
Cohabitation
Up by 17x in 1960-2010 Accepted in society; it has become alternative to marriage Delay on marriage, increased freedom Commitment is ambiguous "Sliding rather than deciding"
4. Intimacy: to know and be known
When family members experience covenant love, grace and empowerment. -ability to communicate confidently -express themselves freely, without fear -contingent on trust and commitment -unconditional covenant love establishes security, leading to deeper levels of intimacy.
Grace-full: the challenge
Where grace rules out law: - members must accept; structure, forms, patterns, order, responsibility in relationships. - agreed upon rules, regularity, and order.
System
any identifiable whole composed of interrelated individual parts.
Differentiation: differentiated individuals
both connected to their families and sufficiently separated socially and psychologically
Self-giving love
commitment dominant
bilateral conditional relationships
contract
Cohesion
d. degree of emotional closeness existing in a family. - resilient families: appropriate degree of cohesion. Members are differentiated (healthy degree of separateness) Strong sense of belonging (healthy degree of connection and interdependence.
Adaptability
determine roles through mutual agreement - opens up creative possibilities to serve each other. since change can be expected throughout life - spouses are to be flexible and adaptable. - family men are empowered to serve others in collaborative effects.
Friendship love
emotional intimacy dominant
Analogical Familial Theology
family relationships reflect the relationally within the trinity.
Unilateral unconditional relationships
initial covenant
biblical view
intimacy relating on all levels: physical, mental and spiritual
bilateral unconditional relationships (characterized by reciprocity)
mature covenant
unilateral conditional relationships
modern open arrangement
Infatuation love
passion dominant
Traditional view:
sex is pleasure for man and duty of woman to endure
postmodern view:
sex is self-centered emphasis on individuals personal pleasure
In what way do humans primarily reflect God's image
through RELATIONSHIPS.
Roles in marital dance
two people moving rhythmically together as they repeatedly embrace, release, hold on and then let go of each other.
empathy:
understand what it feels like to be in anothers shoes
Imperfect reflection is human fallen-ness
we must look to God for grace and strength to attain unity and personal distinction in relationships.
When is a person ready for marriage?
when he or she is clearly differentiated from parents.
Impact on Children
worse life outcomes - higher risk of: - sexual abuse - physical violence
The heart of a christian marriage
you have to willing to give up - marriage is a gift for the community as well as for the couple. accommodators benefit from individual strengths of each spouse.