Grooming and sexual contact

Signs a child might be being groomed.

-Being secretive, including their online activities -Having older boyfriends or girlfriends -Going to unusual place to meet up with friends -Having new items (phone/clothes/etc) that they can't account for how they got it -Access and using of drugs and/or alcohol -Unexplained changes in behaviors or personality, including inappropriate sexual behavior or knowledge for their age (This can be mistaken for 'normal' teenage behavior).

Types of abusive behavior

-Name calling, making person feel stupid or incapable -Making all decisions, telling them what to do, what to wear, who to spend time with -Constant texting/calling that disrupts partners life or makes them feel stressed or uncomfortable -Checking partner's phone, email and social media without permission or humiliating them through social media -Cutting a person off from family and friends, demanding all of their time. -Pressuring or forcing someone into sexual activity or sexting -Shoving, grabbing, hitting, pinching, or kicking -Intimidating through looks or actions -Excessive jealousy or possessiveness -Threatening suicide if relationships ends -Threatening to out someone to their friends/family

Behavior changes in children who are being groomed or abused.

-Withdrawn -Lying/secretive -Defensive -Anxious -Clingy -Depressed -Aggressive -Problems sleeping -Bedwetting or soiling of clothes -Changes in eating habits -Nightmares -Risk taking behaviors -Missing school -Obsessive Behavior -Drug/alcohol use -Self-Harm -Thoughts of suicide

How does dating violence affect health?

Can have negative impact throughout life -More likely to do poorly in school -More likely to use drugs/alcohol -Anger and stress can lead to eating disorders and depression -Victims carry patterns into future relationships -Victims have distorted beliefs about self worth and interpersonal relationships -3 x more likely to be re-victimized due to this

How grooming occurs?

Face to face or online. Many young people don't understand that they are being groomed, or that what happens to them is abuse.

What does a healthy relationship look like?

Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of respect, including honestly, trust, support, and understanding. Even if they are casually together and not exclusive, both partners should: Respecting one another's individuality, opinions and choices The ability to share feelings honestly or disagree and feel safe Understanding and supporting the other's desire to spend time alone or with friends and family

Age of consent

In the state of Massachusetts, a person under the age of 16 cannot give consent for sexual intercourse, as it is determined they are not emotionally ready to understand the impact of this choice.

Who is responsible to keep victims safe?

Many people play a role in keeping the victim safe from abuse, but the most important thing to know is that no victim is at fault when they have been sexually exploited. Even if they make choices or engage in behaviors voluntarily with their abuser, that does not mean they deserve to be abused.

Why don't more victims tell?

Many victims don't realize that what is happening is abuse, or believe they are in loving relationships. Even if they do know that what is happening is wrong, they may be fearful to tell due to embarrassment, fear of punishment, guilt of fault or threats by their abuser.

Who does this to others?

Most often the perpetrator is known to the victim. It could be a family members, a friend of the family, members of the community or church, older peers or another child. They can be male or female and any age.

Why do children not know they are being preyed upon?

The groomer will hide their true intentions and will gain the trust of the victim. They create a relationship with the victim that gives them special access (either as a trusted adult or friend, or as an intimate partner, boyfriend/girlfriend).

Grooming

When someone builds an emotional connection with a child to gain their trust for purposes of sexual exploitation, abuse or trafficking

How often does dating violence occur?

While dating violence is grossly under-reported, 1 in 4 adolescents report verbal, physical, emotional or sexual abuse from a dating partner each year.

Emotional abuse

a pattern of behavior that attacks the emotional development and sense of worth of an individual. This includes name calling, shaming, bullying, embarrassing on purpose, and isolating from friends and family.

Dating violence

a pattern of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse that occurs in a dating relationship

unhealthy relationship characteristics

are imbalanced one partner tries to gain control or power through threats, emotional and verbal abuse or physical and sexual violence.

Sexual abuse

forcing a partner to engage in a sexual act when he or she cannot or does not consent. This can include coercing the victim by guilting them or threatening them.

Physical abuse

intentionally causing physical harm to another person, including pushing, hitting, kicking, punching, or putting in situation where physical harm can occur.