Interpersonal Final
What are the three types of social support?
1. Emotional 2. Informational 3. Instrumental
What are the dimensions of intimacy?
1. Emotional 2. Intellectual 3. Physical 4. Shared activities
What are the love styles?
1. Eros 2. Storge 3. Ludus 4. Pragma 5. Mania 6. Agape
What are the four responses to conflict?
1. Exit 2. Neglect 3. Loyalty 4. Voice
What are the internal pressures on friendship?
1. relational dialectics 2. diverse communication styles 3. sexual attraction
How does appearance influence relationship formation?
A primary factor Beyond being physically appealing Do they look friendly? Could you have a conversation with them? Do you find them attractive? First impression may influence secondary impressions Physical factors become less important as the relationship develops
What is a family?
A system with two or more interdependent people who have a common history, present reality, and expectations for the future
What is the triangular theory of love?
A theory proposing that love has three basic components 1. passion 2. intimacy 3. commitment
What is a friendship?
A voluntary relationship that provides social support
What is the voice conflict response?
Address conflict directly and attempts to resolve it
What is the quality time love language?
Being present/available; undivided attention
What is not owning feelings?
Blaming another person for our feelings, even though often we are responsible for what we feel. Ex: "You make me angry."
Give an example of a physiological emotional reaction
Body temperature increasing
What is the grave-dressing process in the deterioration of a romantic relationship?
Burying the relationship and accepting its end
What is emotional closeness in a friendship?
Can be through dialogue (communication is the centerpiece of friendship) or through doing (doing things together and for one another)
How is geographic distance an external pressure on friendships?
Challenge of distance between friends
What is the encouraging independence part of the family life cycle?
Children grow up and seek greater autonomy
What is the launching part of the family life cycle?
Children leave home, or may come back
What is the Storge love style?
Comfortable, even-keeled kind of love based on friendship and compatibility
What is the acts of service love language?
Completing chores or tasks for someone
What is the words of affirmation love language?
Compliments, words of praise
What is trust in a friendship?
Confidence others will be dependable and care about us. It develops gradually, in degrees.
What is the enlarging of family part of the family life cycle?
Couple adds children to the family, which creates new and challenging dynamics
What is the retirement part of the family life cycle?
Couples must adjust to life not centered around work; may be able to enjoy addition of grandchildren
What is the post-launching of children part of the family life cycle?
Couples must redefine their relationship; may cause happiness or dissatisfaction
What is productive conflict communication?
Creates a supportive, positive relationship that increases possibility of resolving differences without harming relationship
What is the commitment stage in the growth of a romantic relationship?
Decision to stay with the relationship, the expectation to invest more in their relationship
What are framing rules?
Define the emotional meaning of situations
What is the neglect conflict response?
Denies or minimizes problems that could lead to overt conflict
What is the mania love style?
Devise games and tests for potential partners and experience emotional extremes
How does complementary influence relationship formation?
Differences can strengthen a relationship if they satisfy the other's needs
How are diverse communication styles an internal pressure on friendship?
Different ways to communicate via social or cultural groups
What is low vs. high disclosure friendship?
Do you talk a lot about deep emotional/personal subjects, or not at all?
What is infrequent vs frequent contact friendship?
Do you talk often, or rarely?
What is a short vs. long term friendship?
Do you want the friendship to be fleeting, or to last?
What is shared activity intimacy?
Doing things together
What is the eros love style?
Erotic love - Powerful, passionate style of love that blazes to life suddenly and dramatically
What is the explorational communication stage in the growth of a romantic relationship?
Escalation of romance, learning about each other, reduce uncertainty to see if romance could work
What is the family life cycle?
Establishing a family Enlarging a family Developing a Family Encouraging Independence Launching Children Post launching of Children Retirement
What is physical intimacy?
Exchanging important ideas
What is support in a friendship?
Expect friends to support us - listening, helping with problems, being available
What is counterfeit emotional language?
Expressing emotion without describing feeling, can feel descriptive, but isn't. Ex: "Why can't you leave me alone?"
What is conformity orientation?
Extent to which family members are expected to adhere to hierarchy and conform in beliefs
Give an example of a nonverbal emotional reaction
Facial expressions
How do we define families?
Families are defined by interaction rather than biology
What is intimacy?
Feelings of closeness, bondedness, connectedness
What is intimacy in the triangular theory of love?
Feelings of connection, closeness, tenderness
What happens in the early stage of unproductive conflict?
First 3 minutes are most important - will set the stage for how conflict is managed
What makes committed romantic relationships unique?
Includes romantic and sexual feelings, and is a primary and enduring part of one's life
What are the 6 steps to the growth of romantic relationships?
Individuality Invitational Communication Explorational Communication Intensifying Communication Revising Communication Commitment
What are committed romantic relationships?
Individuals who assume that they will be primary and continuing parts of each other's lives
What is the initial meeting friendship stage?
Initial meeting is first stage of interaction and possibly friendship. Often awkward and uncertain.
What is passion in the triangular theory of love
Intensely positive feelings and desires for another person
What is the stabilized friendship stage?
Interact and disclose more, shared experiences with expectations of acceptance, responsiveness, continuity
What are the 5 steps of the deterioration of a romantic relationship?
Intrapsychic Process Dyadic Process: Social Support Grave-Dressing Process Resurrection Process
What is high vs. low obligation friendship?
Is your friend a large commitment, or not?
How can social media impact romantic relationships?
It can help us maintain connection with partners, and many relationships start online. It is an indicator of commitment is making an effort to communicate regularly. Too much may cross connection-autonomy boundary. Social media is also blamed for relational cheating, breakups, divorce, cyberstalking. Too much online communication may lead to the inability to manage conflict and assert thoughts effectively
What is a protective communication pattern in families?
High conformity, low conversation
What is a consensual communication pattern in families?
High conversation, high conformity
What is a pluralistic communication pattern in families?
High conversation, low conformity
What is conversation orientation?
How open or closed communication is
How can we manage our emotions?
How we feel about events, rather than the event itself, is what causes emotion.
How does competency influence relationship formation?
Like to be around talented people, hoping it wil rub off on us Uncomfortable around people who are too competent - we want some flaws
How does proximity influence relationship formation?
Likely to develop relationships with those who we interact frequently with Proximity can lead to liking Geographic proximity vs. virtual proximity
What is the avoidance conflict style?
Lose-Lose, When people ignore or stay away from conflict through physical or conversational means
What is the accommodation conflict style?
Lose-Win, When one person allows the other to have their way rather than asserting their own point of view
How do social and professional roles influence emotion?
May discourage direct expression of emotions
What is the physical touch love language?
Meaningful touch
How do traditional gender roles influence emotion?
Men and women expreience the same emotions, but express them differently
What is the developing of family part of the family life cycle?
Parent-child relationships develop and have impact on their child
What is the revising communication stage in the growth of a romantic relationship?
Partners come out of the clouds to look at relationships more realistically (may not always happen)
What is the social support process in the deterioration of a romantic relationship?
Partners look to friends and family for support
How does social media influence emotion?
People may express more emotion online than in person, "protection" behind a screen -- being anonymous online can promote outbursts
What is the resurrection process in the deterioration of a romantic relationship?
People move on with their lives without the other
What is the Invitational communication stage in the growth of a romantic relationship?
People signal they are interested in interacting
What is intellectual intimacy?
Physical touch
What happens in the middle stages of productive conflict?
Positive groundwork supports what happens as people dig into issues
What is the pragma love style?
Practical love with clear criteria for partners
What is relational culture?
Private world of rules, understandings,meanings, and patterns of acting and interpreting that partnerscreate
What is placemaking?
Process of creating a comfortable personal environment that reflects the couple
What happens in the late stage of unproductive conflict?
Proposals met with counterproposals - more interested in pushing our own solution
What is the agape love style?
Put another's happiness ahead of their own without any expectation of reciprocity
What is emotional labeling?
Putting words to describe our feelings helps us understand them; our labels for our physiological responses influence how we interpret those responses
What is unproductive conflict communication?
Reflects a preoccupation with oneself and disregard for others
What is emotional intimacy?
Sharing important information and feelings
What is emotional support?
Showing empathy and care to someone's situation
How does similarity influence relationship formation?
Similarity Thesis: The more similar, the more likely we are to form a relationship
What is the fledgling friendship stage?
Small self-disclosure or seeing each other outside of regular context. Many friendships don't move past this.
How do rewards influence relationship formation?
Social Exchange Theory: Seeking out those who can give rewards greater or equal to the costs (Rewards - Costs = Outcome)
What are the ineffective ways we express emotion?
Speaking in generalities, not owning feelings, and counterfeit emotional language
What is the loyalty conflict response?
Staying committed to a relationship despite differences
What is task oriented vs. maintenance oriented friendship?
Task means the friendship revolves around certain activities, maintenance is grounded in liking and social support.
How does self-disclosure influence relationship formation?
Telling others important information about ourselves helps build relationships Learn how others are similar through disclosure Increasing liking because it indicates regard
What is emotional intelligence?
The ability to recognize feelings, to judge which feelings are appropriate in which situations, and to communicate those feelings effectively
What is the dyadic process in the deterioration of a romantic relationship?
The breakdown of established patterns,rules, rituals that make up the relational culture; may include discussions about problems
What is the openness/closedness relational dialectic?
The conflict between open communication and privacy
What is the receiving gifts love language?
The thought that counts, not the thing itself
What are the three relational dialectics?
autonomy/connection novelty/predictability openness/closedness
What are the external pressures on friendships?
competing demands, personal changes, geographic distance
What are the four family communication patterns
consensual, pluralistic, protective, laissez-faire
What is the establishing of family part of the family life cycle?
couple settles into a committed relationship
What is instrumental support?
doing a task or favor to help
What is informational support?
giving information to help
What is the exit conflict response?
hysically walking out or psychologically withdrawing
What is a lassiez faire communication pattern in families?
low conformity, low conversation
What are relational dialectics?
opposing forces, or tensions, that are continuous
What are the guidelines for expressing emotions?
1) Recognize your feelings. 2) Choose the best language 3) Share multiple feelings. 4) Recognize the difference between feeling and acting 5) Accept responsibility for your feelings. 6) Choose the best time and place to express your feelings 7) Respond sensitively when others communicate emotions
What are the 5 conflict styles?
1. Avoidance 2. Accommodation 3. Competition 4. Compromise 5. Collaboration
How do friendships grow and develop?
1. Initial meeting 2. Fledgling friendship 3. Stabilized friendship becomes more important
What are conflict management skills?
1. Listen mindfully 2. Attend to the relationship level of meaning (vs. just content level) 3. Take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and issues 4. Check perceptions 5. Look for points of agreement 6. Time conflict appropriately 7. Look for ways to preserve the other's face 8. Imagine how you'll feel in the future
What are the principles of conflict?
1. Natural in most Western Relationships 2. Cultural/Social groups shape meaning 3. May be expressed overtly and covertly
What are the different types of friendships?
1. Short vs. Long Term 2. Task vs. Maintenance Oriented 3. Low vs. High Disclosure 4. High vs. Low Obligation 5. Infrequent vs. Frequent Contact
What is emotion work?
An effort to generate what we think are appropriate feelings
What is conflict?
An expressed tension between people who are: interdependent, perceive they have incompatible goals, and feel a need to resolve those differences
What is commitment in the triangular theory of love?
An intention to remain in the relationship
What are the influences on relationship formation?
Appearance, Similarity, Complementary, Rewards, Competency, Proximity, Self-disclosure
What happens in the later stages of productive conflict?
Attention shifts to resolving tension through dual perspective, negotiation and contracting
What happens in the early stages of productive conflict?
Foundation set far before conflict ever occurs
What are the cultural influences on emotion?
Framing rules, feeling rules, and emotion work
How are relational dialectics an internal pressure on friendship?
Friendships can be strained when people have different needs
How are personal changes an external pressure on friendships?
Friendships change as our lives do. Example: If you're the first member of your friend group to have a kid.
How are competing demands an external pressure on friendship?
Friendships exist within larger social systems that affect how they function
What is speaking in generalities?
Generally describing how one feels without communicating their emotions. Ex: "I'm fine" Using a limited emotional vocabulary limits our abilities of self-understanding.
What is social support?
Helping others during challengeing times by providing support. In showing others they aren't alone, they feel valued.
What happens in the middle stage of unproductive conflict?
Negative climate is stoked by other unconstructive communication
What is the compromise conflict style?
Negotiated Lose-Lose, Gives both people at least some of what they want, but both sacrifice part of their goals
Is social support always helpful?
No, social support isn't helpful when too much support is offered, or the wrong type of support is provided.
How is sexual attraction an internal pressure on friendship?
One or both may be attracted to other; may threaten friendship
What is the intrapsychic process in the deterioration of a romantic relationship?
One or both partners start to feel dissatisfied with relationship and focus on problems
What are emotions?
Our experiences and interpretation of internal sensations that are shaped by physiology, perceptions, language, and social experiences
What is self talk
The nonverbal, inner monologue that is our process of thinking
How do we navigate romantic relationships?
The ongoing process of staying committed and living a life together despite ups and downs
How does emotional contagion influence emotion?
The process by which emotions are transferred from one person to another. Some people are more susceptible than others
What are relationship rules?
Unspoken understandings that regulate how people interact
What is the Ludus love style?
View love as a game, scheming, puzzles, commitment avoidance
What is the invitational communication stage in the growth of a romantic relationship?
View themselves as a couple, immerse themselves in their relationship, and idealize their partner (aka honeymoon)
What is acceptance in a friendship?
We expect that our friends will accept us, flaws and all.
What is the individuality stage in the growth of a romantic relationships?
We have needs/goals, love styles, identities, personal histories that affect what we look for in relationships
what is the novelty/predictability relational dialectic?
We want familiarity in our relationships, but also newness
What is the connection/autonomy relational dialectic?
We want to be close with others, but also want independence
What are feeling rules?
What we have a right to feel, or are expected to feel
How do friendships deteriorate?
When one or both friends stop investing in friendship it is likely to wane. It is more common for friendships to wane gradually. When friendship declines, there is a change in communication with a decreased quantity and quality of communication
How does personality influence emotion?
Who we are can be powerful forces in the experience and communication of emotions
What is involved in the nature of friendships?
Willingness to invest, emotional closeness, acceptance, trust, support
What is the competition conflict style?
Win-Lose, Assumes that one person will win at the expense of the other
What is the collaboration conflict style?
Win-Win, Seeking win-win solutions to conflict, thus satisfying the need of everyone without compromising anything
What are love languages?
Words of Affirmation Quality Time Receiving Gifts Acts of Service Physical Touch
What is willingness to invest in a friendship?
You want to know that someone wants to spend time with you and have meaningful conversations. You can invest time, energy, or resources.
