matilda the musical lines: miss honey

Rudolpho: Ciao.

Ah, parle Italiano? Bene. Ciao, Rudolpho, piacere. Come stai?

M: Thank you!

And Matilda leapt into Miss Honey's arms.

M: And hugged her

And Miss Honey hugged her back

T: ...it must have been her who put that stink bomb under my desk this morning. I'll have her for that. Thank you for suggesting it.

But I didn't... Miss Trunchbull, Matilda Wormwood is a genius.

Rudolpho: Babes, I'm on fire here, please!

But Matilda can calculate complicated figures in her head in an instant!

T: ...Who do you think I am, Miss Honey? A weakling? An idiot? A fool? You?

But he's eaten it all, he did what you asked!

T: QUIET, you maggots!!

But no one was speaking, Miss Trunchbull.

T: So she's learnt a few tricks...

But she can read!

M: I don't know. Quite a long way I think.

Do you think you could tell me what two times twenty eight is?

Mrs W: Oh, fantastico!

Her mind is incredible, with a little help from us she could—

M: I moved it with my eyes. Am I strange?

How do you fancy a nice cup of tea?

T: What about rules, Honey, rules?

I believe that Matilda Wormwood is an exception to the rules.

Mr W: And you want to look after her?

I do.

M: But did he really do that? Magnus, I mean. Did he really just give her his house?

I don't know. But I find it hard to believe. Just like I cannot believe that he would have... killed himself, which is what she said happened.

T: Quiet!

I don't think this is teaching at all, I think it's just cruelty!

T: So can I!

I have to tell you, Headmistress, that in my opinion this little girl should be placed in the top form with the eleven year olds.

M: ...he calls me a liar and a cheat and a nasty little creep.

I see. Here we are; home, sweet home.

Bruce: What?

No, Miss Trunchbull, please, you can't!

T: You're cheating!

Of course she's not cheating, she's simply spelling the word!

T: ...told me to watch out for the brat, though, said she's a real wart.

Oh, no, Headmistress, I don't think Matilda is that kind of child at all.

Mrs W: Who is it?

Oh, yes, er, hello, my name is Miss Honey, Matilda's teacher?

M: But we could just tell them, tell them she did it!

That wouldn't work, Matilda, it'd be my word against hers! And they would never believe she was capable of murder.

Alice: I bet it's poisonous.

Quiet, children, please!

M: You mean there's no room in my head for all my brains, so they have to squish out through my eyes?

Well, not exactly, but... yes, something like that. You certainly are a special girl, Matilda. I met your mother. She's... unusual. What about your father? Is he proud to have a daughter as clever as you?

M: Don't they pay teachers very much?

Well, they don't, actually. But I am even poorer than most because of... other reasons. You see, I used to live with my aunt. But one day I was out walking and I came across this old shed— I fell completely in love with it. I ran to the farmer and begged him to let me move in. He thought I was mad! But he agreed and I've lived here ever since.

T: Enter! Well, don't just stand there like a wet tissue, get on with it.

Well, yes, Miss Trunchbull, there's... in, in, in, in my class, that is, there is, Mat, a little girl called Matilda Wormwood, and-

M: Miss Honey, is this your father's scarf?

Well, yes. My mother gave it to him before she died, you see, she was-

T: I've got a newt in my knickers!

Well. That was interesting. I think we'd all better go home. While we still can.

M: An acrobat.

Well... well, yes, she, she was. How did you...? And my father was—

M: I can now read words.

So, Matilda, you can read words.

M: ...she locked you up in tiny cupboards and threw you in cellars.

Stop, Matilda, please!

M: ...sixteen times two is-

Stop, stop! Good heavens, how far can you go?

M: ...last week, I read quite a few.

A few? In a week? My, my, that is good. What books did you read?

P: And her name was... Miss Honey! And it was often said that it was the best school in all the land.

And do you know something else? Matilda was never again able to move things with her eyes. I thought perhaps it was because her mind was being challenged. But she said it was because she no longer has a need for superpowers. But sometimes I would look at Matilda, this little girl who had done so much to help others but who was stuck with parents who were mean and cruel and called her names. And I would feel my blood boil. And I would wish that I could just... do something.

M: ...and if you can't read sentences, you've got no chance with books.

And... have you read a whole book yourself, Matilda?

Phelps: ...and she was very happy, happier than she had ever been in her entire life.

As for Miss Trunchbull... she was never seen again. The Chokeys were immediately destroyed and a new headmistress took over.

T: What is the school motto, Miss Honey?

Bambinatum est maggitum.

Phelps: As the Wormwoods and Rudolpho sped away into the distance

Because they had found each other.

Lavender: Is the first word 'tomato'?

Er, no. But tomato is a very good word.

M: 56.

Fift... well, yes that's very... How about this: now this is much harder, so don't worry if you don't get it, but two times four hundred and eighty seven. If you took your time do you think you could-

WE CAN HAVE OUR CAKE AND EAT IT... AHH AHH (etc)

Go on Brucie!! Yesss! Yesss! Sorry, Miss Trunchbull... I... I got carried away.

JUST YOU WAIT FOR PHYZ-ED

Good morning children. My name is Miss Honey, and today is a very special day: your first day at school. Now, do any of you know your two times tables? Wonderful! Matilda, isn't it? Please, stand and do as much as you can.

Phelps: But if you did happen to have a story you wanted to tell me...

Goodbye Mrs. Phelps. See you next week.

M: But, Miss Honey, you can't live in a shed!

I'm not strong like you, Matilda. You see, my father died when I was young. Magnus was his name. He was very kind. But when he was gone, my aunt became my legal guardian. She was mean and cruel like you can hardly imagine. And then, when I got my job as a teacher, she presented me with a bill for looking after me all those years. She had written everything down: every tea bag, every electricity bill, every tin of beans. And she made me sign a contract to pay her back every penny. She even produced a document that said my father had given her his entire house.

T: These little specks of dust can't be this clever, they are worms!

I've taught them, that's all. With kindness and patience and respect.

Mrs W: ...you chose books. I chose looks.

I... beg your pardon?

M: What do you think it is? This thing with my eyes.

I... can't pretend that I know, Matilda. But I don't believe we should be frightened of it. I think it's something to do with that incredible mind of yours.

M: You think, you think she did him in! Don't you? Miss Honey?

I... cannot say, Matilda. All I know is that years of being bullied by that woman made me... well, pathetic; I was trapped.

Mrs W: Bit busy right now.

It'll only take a moment.

Mrs W: What do you want, Miss Chutney?

It's Miss Honey. Well, as you know, Matilda is in the bottom class and children in the bottom class aren't really expected to read—

Mr W: Come on, boy; we're leaving forever and never coming back!

Let Matilda stay here with me!

Kids: No way!!

Let's leave maths for the time being and look at reading. Can anyone read this?

Lavender: Yesss!!

Mat... Matilda?

M: Watch.

Matilda, I think it would be wise to go before—

M: But that was the last the little girl ever saw of her father. Because he never came home. Ever again.

Matilda, I've got you those books we spoke about, so if you like—

M: Yes, wonderful. Goodbye, Mrs Phelps.

Matilda, could I speak to you, please? I'm afraid I have not been too successful in getting others to recognize your... Abilities. So, starting tomorrow, I shall bring in a selection of very clever books that will challenge your mind. You may sit and read them while I teach the others and if you have any questions, well, I shall do my best to answer them. How does that sound? Matilda! Why... that is the biggest hug in the world! You're going to hug all the air out of me!

M: An escapologist.

Matilda, how do you know that!?

M: No I did not!

Miss Trunchbull, Matilda's been here all morning!

Eric: Ah, ah, ow!!

Miss Trunchbull, don't, please! You'll pull his ears off!

T: ...in fact, I think I can feel these ones... stretching... now!

Miss Trunchbull, no!

Mr W: I beg your pardon.

Mr Wormwood, I would love to take Matilda. If she would like to stay with me, that is. I would look after her with love and respect and care and I'd pay for everything. Would... would you like that, Matilda?

T: Nonsense! Haven't I just told you that she is a gangster?

She knows her times tables.

T: What are you doing with those books, woman?

They... they're for Matilda.

M: 974.

Twelve sevens.

Nigel: MEMEMEMEMEEEE

Very well, Nigel. Yes, I think we'd better leave it there, Nigel, we don't want you to burst a blood vessel on your first day. Lavender?

T: ...and always keep your feet inside the line.

Well, I must tell you, Headmistress, that it is my intention to help this little girl. Whether you like it or not!

M: ...twelve times two is twenty four...

Well, my word, that is very-

M: The people in my story!

What story?

T: ...spell amchellakaminetrealsepticanistimosis.

What? But that's not a word, you just made it up!

M: She did him in! Let's go to the police!

What? No, no, we can't! We have no evidence!

M: So... so they were your parents?

What? Who? I don't...

M: Are you poor?

Yes. Yes, I am. Very.

M: A story! I've been telling a story and I thought I was making it up, but it's real! It's your life! I've seen your life!

You've seen... my life?

T: What are you looking at?

You.