Poppins Lines (Mrs. Brill)
ROBERTSON AY: I might as well be dead
Don't give me ideas.
MARY POPPINS: Mrs. Brill, is that the dinner cooking?
Don't you start. I've opened all the windows -
ROBERTSON AY: Is that all?
For you, yes. For me, no. Once the cake's done, I've the sandwiches next because Madam wants them fresh. So I can't start them until there's no time to finish them. I swear, a traitor in the Tower was on a pleasure cruise compared to my life in this house!
JANE: Gone.
Gone? Well if that doesn't take the bloomin' biscuit.
GEORGE (to MRS. BRILL): Hat!
Hat!
ROBERTSON AY: I'd like to be helpful.
I'd like to be rich. But the Good Lord thought otherwise.
MARY POPPINS: Come along, children. Best foot forward.
I'm sorry ma'am. Apparently, these came this morning, and Robertson Ay forgot to give them to you. They're apologies, ma'am, from your guests. They're not coming, none of them.
WINIFRED: Mrs. Brill, we have a new nanny.
She passed her interview, then?
Jane: Mother wants you in the drawing room.
Well she can't have me. I've got enough on my plate as it is.
WINIFRED: George - do be careful.
Ah! The heirloom!
ROBERTSON AY: Please, Mrs. Brill. I don't mind, honest.
All right. I will give you one task and one task only. And, so help me, if you get this wrong I'll swing for you and sing as they pull the lever.
ROBERTSON AY: Heirloom!
And while I do this, stay totally immobile.
MARY POPPINS: You don't. WINIFRED: Oh.
Excuse me, ma am..
ROBERTSON AY (in panic): Hat!
Hat! (Shout at him)
KATIE NANNA storms toward the door with her packed bags
Katie Nanna! Katie Nanna!
Michael: Mrs. Brill, it is her, isn't it?
Well, I don't know who else.
Katie Nanna: I've said my say, Mrs. Brill, and that's all I'll say. I've done with this house forever!
Well, good riddance, then. And mind you don't stumble on your way out!
JANE: Mrs. Brill, what does "Au revoir" mean?
Why?
WINIFRED: Katie Nanna? Where are you going? Katie Nanna!?
(Singing) KATIE NANNA'S GONE, AND IS IT ANY WONDER, DRIVEN HALF DEMENTED BY YOUR CHILDREN'S PRANKS?
KATIE NANNA: Those little beasts have run away from me for the last time!
And who gets stuck with the children with no nanny in the house? Me! That's who!
WINIFRED: Mrs. Brill, is the nursery tidy?
As tidy as I can make it ma'am.
WINIFRED: What about the cake?
Cooling on the tray, waiting to be iced.
ROBERTSON AY: Muscle
Do not breathe. Do you hear me?
ROBERTSON AY: Immobile
Do not move a muscle.
JANE: She says you can tell Robertson Ay what to do.
Does she indeed? Well, why don't I go and have a smoke near the gasworks for good measure?
WINIFRED: Mrs. Brill, don't make the sandwiches too early. They'll get stale before the guests arrive.
Everything's under control, ma'am.
JANE: Because that's what she's written in this note: "Dear Jane and Michael: Keep playing the games. Au revoir. Mary Poppins."
It's French, I know that. Does it mean "God bless you"? Or is it "Good luck"? No, I remember now. "Til we meet again." Now, come inside before you catch your death. (End of Act One)
WINIFRED: Oh. Do you think we chose the wrong day?
No, ma'am, I think you asked the wrong people.
ROBERTSON AY: What is it, Mrs. Brill?
Put the icing tools next to the cake, and I'll need a bowl of hot water to warm them. I will make the icing as soon as I'm back.
WINIFRED: And you're quite sure you know how to ice it?
Quite sure. And in case you're worried, I have not been exchanged by the fairies for a total nincompoop!
WINIFRED: If you knew how hard it was to track her down!
Really, ma'am? Fancy that. (Start singing) COR, THEY GET THROUGH NANNIES FOR A FLIPPIN' PASTIME. NOW WHEN ONE RETURNS, THEY MAKE THIS FEARFUL FUSS. NEVER LIKED HER MUCH WHEN SHE WAS HERE THE LAST TIME.
BERT: THE PENDULUM KEEPS SWINGING
Right, put the steps there and stand back. You are never to come near that vase nor no one else but me neither. That is "an heirloom."
MISS ANDREW: Now, show me my room. BRIMSTONE AND TREACLE WILL WORK!
She can't stay! They'll have to dismiss her. You know, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm disappointed, truly I am. I really thought it was going to be, yeah, you know, 'er, with the umbrella.
MARY POPPINS: I was only going to say that it smells... delicious!
The whole world has gone upside-down!
MICHAEL: What does the note say?
What in the name of heaven are you two doing out here? Where's Mary Poppins?
ROBERTSON AY: Icing tools... cake... hot water... I will make the icing as soon as I'm back...
Now, do you think you can manage that?
MISS ANDREW: Hasn't anyone ever cleaned those curtains? ROBERTSON AY: Ooh!
Now, just a minute-