Chapter 6 Dealing with conflict human relations

different types of transactions within ego states

Complementary, crossed, ulterior

advantage of collaborating conflict style

Generally leads to the best possible result to a conflict using assertive behavior

Help determine which ego state

Generally, the most effective behavior, human relations, and performance come from the adult ego state.7 When interacting with others, you should be aware of their ego state because it will help you understand why they are behaving the way they are and help you determine which ego state you should use during the interaction. For example, if the person is acting like an adult, you most likely should too. If the person is acting like a child, it may be appropriate for you to act like a parent rather than an adult. And there are times when it is appropriate to act out of the child ego state and have a good time. Types of Transactions

Mediating stepts

Have each party state his or her complaint using XYZ model, Agree on the problems, Develop alternative solutions, Make an agreement for change, and follow up

Natural child Adapted child

Inquistive, disobedient

a characteristic of the compromising conflict style

It frequently leads to counterproductive outcomes

Arrangement for conflict resolution

Listen and paraphrase using XYZ, Agree with some aspect of complaint, ask for, and/or give alternative solution, make an agreement for change

an attribute of passive behavior

Normall an accommodation to the desires of the other party

When initaites conflict resolution, during the opening XYZ statement, he or she must

Not judge the other party's behavior

stroking

Stroking is any behavior that implies recognition of another's presence. Strokes can be positive and make people feel good about themselves, or they can be negative and hurt people in some way. Giving praise (positive strokes) is a powerful motivation technique that is easy to use and costs nothing. We should all give positive strokes and avoid giving negative strokes, because it helps develop positive human relations.9

When a manager seeks to mediate a conflict between employees

The manager should get the employees to resolve the conflict themselves, if possible

four things we should do during the opening XYZ statement

There are four things we should not do during the opening XYZ statement: (1) Don't judge the person's behavior.49 For example, don't say "You shouldn't smoke; it's bad for you." (2) Don't give advice (this is done in steps 2 and 3). (3) Don't make threats. For example, if you do smoke again I will report you to the boss. (4) Don't try to determine who is to blame. Both parties are usually partly to blame. Fixing blame only gets people defensive, which is counterproductive to conflict resolution. Keep the opening statement short. The longer the statement, the longer it will take to resolve the conflict. People get defensive when kept waiting for their turn to talk. Use the XYZ model.50 For example: When you do X (behavior), Y (consequences) happens, and I feel Z (feelings). When you smoke in my room (behavior), I have trouble breathing and become nauseated (consequence), and I feel uncomfortable and irritated (feeling). You can vary the sequence and start with a feeling or consequence to fit the situation.

accurate statement about cross transactions

They normall lead to feelings of resentment, bweilderment and anger for the sender

when mediating

When bringing conflicting parties together, follow the mediating conflict model. The mediating conflict resolution steps are as follows: (1) have each party state his or her complaint using the XYZ model; (2) agree on the problem(s); (3) develop alternative solutions; and (4) make an agreement for change, and follow up. The steps for initiating, responding to, and mediating conflict resolution are summarized in Model 6.2. Page 183Remember that what you think about affects how you feel, and how you feel affects your behavior, human relations, and performance. So think about the specific behavior that is causing the conflict and how to resolve the issue.

TYpes of transactions

Within ego states there are three different types of transactions: complementary, crossed, and ulterior: (1) complementary: the sender of the message gets the intended response from the receiver; (2) crossed: the sender does not get the expected response; and (3) ulterior: the person appears to be in one ego state, but his or her behavior comes from a different ego state. See Exhibit 6.2 for examples and common results of each transaction.Page 166 EXHIBIT 6.2 | Types of Transactions

a feature of conflict is that

a blance of conflict is essential to all organziations

Ego states of transactional analysis

adult, child parent

adapted child behavior

aggressive

major ways in which passive-aggresive behavior is displayed

an individual displays passive behavior then quickly uses aggressive behavior

Describe the three ego states of transactional analysis.

are the parent, child, and adult.We change ego states throughout the day; even during a single discussion, a series of transactions can take place between different ego states. The three ego states of TA are (1) parent: the critical parent is evaluative while the sympathetic parent is supportive; (2) child: the natural child is curious while the adapted child is rebellious; and (3) adult: the adult is a thinking, unemotional state of ego. See Exhibit 6.1 for a more detailed description of the ego states 1. Critical parent Controls the conversation using advising responses (Chapter 5) that are judgmental, opinionated, demanding, disapproving, or disciplining, telling others what to do. 2. Sympathetic parent Uses reassuring responses (Chapter 5) that are protecting, permitting, consoling, caring, or nurturing, to be supportive. Child 1. Natural child Uses probing responses (Chapter 5) that show curiosity, fun, fantasy, or impulsiveness. 2. Adapted child Responds with confrontational advising responses (Chapter 5) that express rebelliousness, pouting, anger, fear, anxiety, inadequacy, or procrastination. Adult Behaves in a thinking, rational, calculating, factual, unemotional manner with cool and calm behavior. Avoids getting caught up in others' emotions.

true of the compromising style

attempts to satisfy an individuals desire for amicable realtionships

true statement how individuals con effectevely deal with anger

be rational and think clearly, use an anger journal

Only conflict style that creates a true win win situation is

collaborating

most difficult conflict style to implement

collaborative

following statement true about conflict

conflict can be useful if used appropriatley

XYZ

describes a problem in terms of behavior, consequences, and feelings

major ways in which passive aggressive behavior is displayed

displays passive behavior in a particular situation, then quicky uses aggresive behavior, an individual uses both typs of vehvior intermittenly, an idividual utilzes passive behavior but is building hositility on the inside

disadvantage of the avoiding conflict style

does not resolve conflicts

an accurate statement about stroking

enables people to establish good human relations

conflict

exist whenever two or more parties are in desagreement

characteristic of aggressive behavior

hard, highly competive, violent

initiator

is a person who confronts another person (or other people) about a conflict

True statment about passive aggressive behavior

it can often lead to deterioration in human relations

accurate statement about the collaborating conflict style

it si typically assertive and coordinated

use of critical parent state

judgmental

Sympathetic parent

more like to use conforting respnses that are affectionate, humane, and uplifiting if they are using the

Plans for initiating

o resolve conflicts, you should develop a plan of action. When you initiate a conflict resolution using the collaborating style, follow the initiating conflict resolution steps: (1) plan to maintain ownership of the problem using the XYZ model; (2) implement your plan persistently; and (3) make an agreement for change. (See Model 6.2.) The XYZ model describes a problem in terms of behavior, consequences, and feelings.

arrange conflict resolution

plan to maintain ownership of the problem using XYZ, Implement your plan persistently, make an agreement for change

accomodating style is most appropriate when

preserving the relationship is the utmost importance

assertiveness

process of expressing thoughts and feeling while asking for what one wants in an appropriate way. Most likely to display a positive image of intergrity, honesty , and rationality. Typically displays adult behavior

Transactional analysis

s a method of understanding behavior in interpersonal dynamics

assertive in order

set goa, figure out how to develop a win win situation, develop self assured and confindent phrases, implement your plan persistently

any behavior that implies recongniton of anothers presence is known as

stroking

passive or nonassertive behavior

supportive parent

true statement about the colaborative conflict style

takes a great deal of time and evergy to resolve conflicts

compromising conflict style is most appropriate when

the conflict problems are intricate and pivotal, when conflict will weaken a critical working relationship

forcing conflict style is most likely to be applicable

when conflict resolution is imperative, when confict is about personal disagreemtn

avoiding conflict style is most appropriate

when conflict will weaken a critical working relationship, when a time contraint necesitiates avoidance

collaborating conflict style is appropriate

when preserving working relationships is valuable, when the conflict is a peer conflict